Tips for military member and their families before, during and after a deployment.

1. The
Deployment
Cycle

2. Pre-Deployment

3. Talk about it
Keep the
lines of communication open.
Let each other know
how you are feeling.

4. Fix it
For the
people
remaining at
home, it often
helps if you
get as many
home repairs
done before
deployment.
If the car is
broken, try
to get it
repaired.
If the fridge
is on the
verge of
breaking
down, get it
fixed.

5. Be
together
Plan for family time
before the separation.
Go on a hike.
Take in a movie.
Just spend time at home
as a family.

6. Be
together
Make sure you take time
for yourself as a couple
too! Have a romantic
evening, just the two of
you. Deepen your
connection to help sustain
you during time apart.

7. Tell the kids
Unless your children are
very small, tell them well
ahead of time, underscoring
the fact that the parent
must go.
Arrange some one-on-one
special time with each child,
and be sure to offer
frequent and strong
reassurances of love.

8. Picture it
Take snapshots and videos of
the parent doing ordinary
things around home. These
will be especially valuable for
young children with short
visual memories.
Play the videos often --
perhaps just a few minutes at
a time -- and post pictures
where they can be seen
frequently.

9. Create a special book
with/about the absent
parent, with photos and
drawing that your child can
look at each time he/she
gets lonely.
Write it

10. Write it
Another idea is to give your children secret diaries
where they can write down the things they wish
their absent parent could hear.

11. Military Identification Cards
Check the expiration
date of all Military
Family ID cards prior
to deployment. If the
cards expire prior to
the end of the
deployment, you
should contact the
local MFRC to bring
them up to date.

12. Bills
Before deploying, make
sure that you have made
arrangements for these
payments to be taken care
of.

13. Will
Make sure
you get your
will in order.
Make sure
the will is
updated and
says what
you want.
Also make sure you get
a power of attorney,
just in case anything
should come up that
only your spouse can
handle.

14. Income tax
If you will be deployed
when your taxes are due,
figure out in advance how
taxes will be filed and who
will do it.

15. Power of attorney
A power of attorney is a legal
designation by an individual that
grants to another the authority to
execute documents in the name
of the grantor, as if he or she
actually signed the documents.
You may want to consider
appointing someone as your
Power of Attorney.

16. Insurance and
other car care
items
Do you need to store your
vehicle while you are
deployed?
Is your car, house and life
insurance paid up?
Have you made the car
repairs that would
otherwise drive your
partner crazy in your
absence?

17. During
Deployment

18. Keep busy. Find a
hobby, a job,
community classes —
do something you
wouldn't do if your
loved one was at
home.
Stay active

19. Be kind to yourself.
Pamper yourself when
you get blue. Reach out
to others. Sometimes
people don’t know we’re
lonely unless we tell
them. Get to know the
other spouses in your
area who are also going
through the same
deployment. Volunteer.
Take classes. Visit the
MFRC.
Pamper yourself a bit

20. Connect
Reach out to those around you: neighbours,
family, others with deployed partners. Take
advantage of the services and classes at your
local MFRC. If you need to talk, the MFRC is
there for you!

21. Helping the kids
Ensure your children’s bedtime include
their mommy/daddy who is away. Talk
about what you think the missing parent
is doing right now. Read a favourite book,
look at photos, watch a video pre-taped
before deployment. Give an extra kiss
from “Daddy” or “Mommy” - whoever is
away.

22. Helping the kids
If you know how long the
separation is going to be,
start a count down on a
calendar (or find your
own unique way to count
the days).

23. Helping the kids
Keep the absent parent with you. Put
some books on tape or video so the
kids can still be read to. Talk about your
absent partner to your kids. Make them
part of your routine, even though they
are away.

24. Helping the kids
Take advantage of
the programs and
services for children
at your local MFRC.

25. Stay in touch
Send the schoolwork and
pictures from class. Pictures
the kids drew are
heartwarming, and a good
way for the absent partner
to feel in touch.

26. Stay in touch
Make up a bunch of pre-
addressed cards or
postcards. Give to them
to your kids and to your
friends and family to
make it easy for them to
communicate with your
partner. (And it will be
easier for you as well.)

27. Stay in touch
Send photos via email or
mail. These are one of
the best ways to help
your partner feel a part
of your life while he or
she is away.
Photos have an
immediacy and intimacy
that will bring your
partner closer.

28. Dealing with
relationship issues
Are you angry at your
partner? Sleep on it
before you send that
angry email, then re-read
your email before you
press 'send'. The same
goes for regular letters.

29. After
Deployment

30. Allow room for growth
You’ve waited for
the homecoming!
You’ve got it set in
your mind just how
wonderful it will
be.
But many people
are surprised to
find it’s also a
stressful time of
readjustment and
getting to know
each other again.

31. Allow room for growth
In your partner’s
absence, you may
have become more
independent. Your
children will have
grown.
Your partner will have
grown too from his or
her experiences. Take it
slow. Talk. Be patient.

32. Get to know each other
Adults and kids need
to take time to get to
know each other
again. Do things as a
family and as a
couple.
Often, when people are away, we build up a
lot of expectations for homecoming. If things
don’t go as planned, try to be flexible.

33. Help your partner readjust
Discuss your kid’s
routines with your
partner so your
spouse know your
kids’ routines.
Depending on how
long your partner was
gone, things may have
changed.
This helps keep the kids from
playing one parent against the
other. This also helps the parent
who was away to ease back into
being the parent again.

34. Talk about your feelings
openly and honestly
We all have our own ways of
dealing with change and
stress. Try to go through it
together.
If you find you need more
help, the MFRC offers
confidential programs and
services that may help you
ease back into your
relationship.