2015 Palisades Charter High School College Fair @palicharterhigh @allcollegeessay @getmetocollege

1. Communicating Your Story: Ten Tips
For Writing Powerful College
Application Essays
Rebecca Joseph, PhD
getmetocollege@gmail.com
@getmetocollege
Website/App: All College Application
Essays
http://www.slideshare.net/getmetocollege/communicati
ng-your-stories-ten-tips-for-writing-powerful-college-
application-essays

2. How Important Are Personal Statements?
What do American colleges look for?
1. Grades
2. Rigor of Coursework, School
3. Test Scores
4. Essays/Personal Statements*
5. Recommendations-Teacher and/or Counselor
6. Activities-Consistency, development, leadership,
and initiative
7. Special skills, culture, connections, talents, and
passions

3. The Power and Danger of Essays
1. Give me two reasons why admissions officers value
college application essays.
2. Give me two reasons why they often dread reading
the majority of them.

5. Essays=Opportunity
Share
Reflect
Stand Out

6. Do College Admissions Essays Matter?
 Essays are “not a substitute for a rigorous curriculum, good
grades and evidence that you're going to do well,”
 Still, the essay can make a difference.
 The first challenge for the writer: picking
a topic.
 Any topic can work — or fail.
 The biggest problem for students is
starting with too wide a focus. "By
the time they get to the details,
they run out of space. I'm all for
cutting to the chase."

7. So….Tip 1
Tip 1. College essays are fourth in importance
behind grades, test scores, and the rigor of
completed coursework in many admissions office
decisions. Don’t waste this powerful
opportunity to share your voice and express
what you really offer to a college campus.
Great life stories make you jump off the page and
into your match colleges.

8. A New Paradigm
Tip 2.
Develop an overall
strategic essay writing
plan.
College essays should
work together to
help you communicate
key qualities and
stories not available
anywhere else in
your application.

9. Essays = Opportunity
 Take control over the highest ranked non-academic aspect of
the application
 Share their voice
 Express who they really are
 Show (not tell) stories that
belong only to them and help them
jump off the page
 Challenge stereotypes
 Reflect on their growth and
development, including
accomplishments and service
 Seek to understand what the admission officer is looking for

10. What DO Admissions Officers Seek?
Context
Values
Commitment/Depth of
Interests
Interaction with and/or
perception by others
Special talents and
qualities
Realistic self-appraisal

11. Ultimately…admissions officers want to
know your…
Impact Initiative

12. Four Major Application Types:
1. The Common Application
 Many private and some public American use the centralized
Common Application with their own Writing supplements
 More than 650 colleges use it.
 www.commonapp.org
 Don’t start writing any essays until you see all the essays required
for your top schools. My app-All College Application Essays has the
requirements.

13. 1. Common Application Essays
One Long/ 250-650 words –Paste in.
1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their
application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when
you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make
the same decision again.
4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a
research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale.
Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood
to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
Activities: The Common Application leaves room for 10 activities
Additional Information: The Common Application allows you to add additional information. Accepts
up to 650 words.
Supplemental Essays
They range from one line to 500 words. Some schools have one, while other have three. They can overlap.
If it says optional, view it as mandatory.

14. Common Application Writing Supplements
Some long– U Penn, U Chicago (300-650 words)
Some medium—Stanford
Some small— Columbia, Brown

15. Four Major Application Types:
2. Large Public Universities
Many large and most prominent public universities
have their own applications.
 Universities of Arizona, California, Indiana, Maryland, Oregon,
Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin—to name just some
 They each have different essay requirements.
 They each have your report activities in a different way.
 But there are ways to use your other essays here as well.
 They have their own essays. You should gather their topics
and look for ways to use your common application essay as one
of your essays for the public colleges, and visa-versa.

16. UC California
 Two essays
 Respond to both prompts, using a maximum of 1,000 words total.
 You may allocate the word count as you wish. If you choose to respond to one
prompt at greater length, we suggest your shorter answer be no less than 250
words.
Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)-[Outside-In]
Describe the world you come from – for example, your
family, community or school – and tell us how your world
has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Prompt #2 (all applicants) [Inside-Out]
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment,
contribution or experience that is important to you. What
about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and
how does it relate to the person you are.

17. University of Texas Essay Tips
 Don’t tell us what you think we want to hear. The university’s essay readers don’t have a perfect essay in mind –
as a matter of fact essays that sound like all the rest of them – the essay that is expected – is more likely to be
overlooked.
 Be yourself. Show us what makes you unique, how you’ve dealt with issues and problems, what you think about the
topic at hand. Good writing teachers tell their students to write about what they know. That’s good advice for college
essays, too.
 Use a natural voice and style. Although it’s always important to use proper grammar, spelling, punctuation,
diction, etc., don’t write to try to impress anyone. Use words and a style that are appropriate for the topic you’re writing
about, for someone your age, and for someone who’s trying to communicate clearly and logically.
 Don’t be overly informal either. Your essay will be read by an adult professional. In almost all cases, you should
avoid using words or phrases that you might use when texting someone or on a social networking site.
 Develop your ideas. Although the length of your essay alone technically doesn’t matter, developing your ideas
completely does matter. If you can do that in a single page of text, that’s good; but if it takes you three pages or so, that’s
alright, too (as long as you’re not just adding words to make your essay longer). It’s not realistic to assume that you can
clearly communicate your unique perspective about anything in a short paragraph or two.
 Organize your thoughts. All good writing has a beginning, a middle, and an end. That doesn’t mean you should be
formulaic in your writing (this isn’t a high school exit exam), but you should introduce your idea, provide interesting
examples and details in support of your idea, and come to some sort of conclusion at the end.
 Don’t respond to the prompt as though you’re answering a question. Again, we don’t have a perfect essay in
mind. The prompt is supposed to get your mind churning, to make you want to tell us what you think about something
that’s important to you. Your essay is your opportunity to do that.

18. Four Major Application Types:
3. Private college specific applications
Fewer and fewer major private universities are not on the
common application
But there are still holdouts.
Georgetown and MIT to name a view.
Make sure you don’t write unnecessary essays as
Georgetown essays are like The Common Application.

19. Four Major Application Types:
4. Other systems
Some large public systems have their own
applications which do not require long, if any essays.
Yet their applications for financial aid or academic
support programs add in those requirements.
Washington State, for example, several short essays
which they share with other state systems.
The Universal Application is another system. It has
fewer colleges on it than The Common Application.

20. Develop A Master Chart
Tip 3. Keep a chart of all essays required by each
college, including short responses and optional
essays. View each essay or short response as a chance
to tell a new story and to share your core qualities.
I recommend three sheets.
 1. Major deadlines and needs. Break it down by the four
application types
 2. Core essays-Color code all the similar or overlapping essays.
 3. Supplemental essays. Each college has extra requirements
on the common application. Again color code similar types:
Why are you a good match for us? How will you add to the
diversity of our campus?

21. Write the Fewest
Yet Most Effective Essays…
Tip 4.
Find patterns
between colleges
essay requirements.
Use essays more
than once.
UC 1 or 2=Common
App =Scholarship
Essay

22. Where to Begin: Brainstorm

23. Positive Personality Traits

24. 5. Other Brainstorming Tips
Help them brainstorm
1.Make a resume.
2.Write about three of your major activities.
3.Reading model essays from actual college websites
4.Looking at other college’s essay prompts-U Chicago, Tufts
5.Creating a letter to future roommate or an amazing list of
what makes you you.
6.Looking at 5 top FB and Instagram Pictures
7.Reading models from other students
8.Do culture bags

25. Individual and Collaborative

26. Nathan-UC 2
Vest, check. Backpack, check. Goggles, check. Helmet, check. Duffel, check. Team
members ready, check. I never felt more ready. After hearing the P.A.
announcement that I trained for for five weeks, I felt nervous, excited, and
prepared. Even though it was a drill, I felt my heart beating at an unprecedented
pace. I ran out to where the team was to meet and began putting on my gear. Two
years ago I helped students get involved in our school Search and Rescue Team. I
vividly remember the night before I decided to introduce the CERT program at our
school. It all began while watching Doomsday Preppers on National Geographic;
stunned by the extremities people went to in order to prevent/control the effects
of a natural disaster, I wanted to bring both sides to a compromise. So I convinced
four schoolmates to complete a five week training program with me, where we
learned how to do CPR, search buildings, extinguish fires, triage victims, and
become school site leaders.

27. I'm extraordinarily proud of my ability to defend my school's exquisite reputation
and demonstrate the positive changes it can reap in students. While thankfully our
school's search and rescue team rarely gets called into action other than safety
drills, I am dedicated to keeping my campus safe. I've also found different ways to
serve my school community through student activities and efforts to reform the
structure of the school. My participation in ASB as well as the Family and
Community Long Term Strategic Planning Committee have nearly perfected my
skills and attributes as a leader. Whether announcing the day's event to over
2,000 students, saving a girl's life, or attending lengthy meetings, I'm honored and
proud to serve my school. My work on our Family and Community Committee
specifically stresses the importance of partnering with all three stakeholder
groups- students, faculty, and parents. We are currently planning how to change
the school's bell schedule to include an advisory period, where students would
have the same peer group for their four years throughout high school-to develop
community and hopefully efficiency in school.

28. I have been frequently told that one's actions have a
larger effect than his or her words, and I believe that
my contributions to Palisades Charter High exemplify
this statement neatly. The extraordinary amount of
pride and satisfaction I receive from defending,
supporting, and advancing my school is incredible.
And I am always ready-should any siren go off.

29. What Did You Do Last Summer?

30. Cameron
The heat from the frying machine scorches my back as I fill countless glasses of
water, slice lemons, and scrub the fridges. Next I place pans with sizzling chicken,
steamers filled with soup dumplings, and plates of scallion pancakes atop the
counter. For the next six hours, my co-workers and I frantically bustle about our
tasks at ROC, the popular, new Chinese restaurant where I worked for two months
last summer.
Originally, my summer plans had included a summer internship at my uncle's
investment company, but rather than sit in his cushy office and file papers, I
decided to get my first real job. Responding to a help-wanted ad for a runner in a
restaurant that my family and I eat at frequently, I applied for and got the job. As
the new guy in the restaurant, I did whatever they told me to do and quickly
learned all the different roles in the restaurant.

31. One Friday night, as I was filling hot sauce and soy sauce containers, the owner asked me to
help run food to the tables. A senior expediter (food runner), Joe, needed help because the
food counter was stacked high with dishes. I started to help Joe, who gestured for me to get
back to the kitchen. Choosing instead to listen to the owner, I took the food to the indicated
table on the receipt and crossed off each item as I left. After running dishes of scallion
pancakes and shrimp fried rice to a table and being frustrated to find out that the customers
had already received their dishes, I asked Joe to make sure he followed protocol and crossed
off each dish on the receipt after delivering it. Well known for being a very good expediter,
Joe, a man in his late 50s, tended to do things his own way. Joe exploded, yelling at me
where customers could see and hear. Not wanting to make a scene, I grabbed two dishes and
took off for a table on the other side of the restaurant.
A few days later, when I told my grandparents about my job and my encounter with Joe, my
grandfather grew quiet and pale. He slowly told me how, when he immigrated from Taiwan
to America forty years ago so his kids could have a better life, he took a job as a dishwasher in
a restaurant. Even though he had a professional degree, he couldn't find any other work. He
said he was mortified whenever young workers in the restaurant would yell at him or tell him
what to do. Feeling my grandpa's pain and great sacrifice, I realized that at ROC, I was that
young worker and Joe was like my grandfather.

32. Last summer I wanted to get a job, earn my own money, and feel more independent. For
eight weeks, I learned even more than I expected. I learned that everyone, from the busboy to
the cook to the expediters, affects the experience of the customers, who may not realize what
it takes to bring their meal to their table.
After speaking with my grandfather, I learned the most valuable lesson of all. While this job
was just a summer job for me, it was the main source of income for most of my co-workers,
including Joe. While he had just come from another job in another restaurant, I had come
from one of the most memorable experiences of my summer, a four week hands-on
engineering program at UCLA, where I realized that I want to study engineering in college.
While my educational journey is only beginning, my summer as a runner at ROC helped me
realize that no matter what job I have, we are all inevitably bound together by our personal
experiences that span the generations before and after us.

33. Into, Through, and Beyond Essay Approach
Tip 7. Follow Dr. Joseph’s Into, Through, and Beyond
approach.
It is not just the story that counts.
It’s the choice of qualities a student wants the college to
know about herself

34. Into,Through, and Beyond
Into
 It’s the way the reader can lead the reader into the piece—images, examples, context.
 Always uses active language: power verbs, crisp adjectives, specific nouns.
Through
 What happened…quickly…yet clearly with weaving of story and personal analysis
 Specific focus on the student
 Great summarizing, details, and images at same time
Beyond
 Ending that evokes key characteristics
 Conveys moral
 Answers ending prompts of two UC essays
 UC 1”and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.”
 UC 2 “What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it
relate to the person you are”

35. Goal of Into Through Beyond
Share positive messages and powerful
outcomes.
Focus on impact, leadership, and initiative.
If you want to include challenges, lead
quickly to who you are now.
Some states can use only socio-economic
status, but not race, in admissions, but in
your essays, your voice and background can
emerge.

36. Tip 8. Use active writing: avoid passive sentences and
incorporate power verbs. Show when possible; tell
when summarizing.
Tip 9. Have trusted inside and impartial outside
readers read your essays. Make sure you have no
spelling or grammatical errors.
Take the Time With These Essays

37. Final Thoughts
Tip 10. Most importantly, make yourself come alive
throughout this process. Write about yourself as
passionately and powerfully as possible. Be proud of your
life and accomplishments. Sell yourself!!!
Students often need weeks not days to write effective
essays. You need to push beyond stereotypes.
Admissions officers can smell “enhanced” essays.
You can find many great websites and examples but each
student is different.

38. Keep In Touch
Follow me on twitter @getmetocollege and
@allcollegeessay
Email me at getmetocollege.org
This powerpoint is on slideshare under my name
getmetocollege