1. Solo Parenting:
A Situationer
Presented by Herald Cruz
family

2. My Family
oitline

3. Outline of the Seminar
I.I.Solo Parenting: A SituationerSolo Parenting: A Situationer
II.II.OFW PhenomenonOFW Phenomenon
III.III.Solo Parenting: Victim… Victor!Solo Parenting: Victim… Victor!
definition

4. Introduction
““The family is theThe family is the HeartHeart and theand the CenterCenter
of the Filipinos. It is where faith, theof the Filipinos. It is where faith, the
Christian doctrine and the Gospel valuesChristian doctrine and the Gospel values
are learned and lived… where love,are learned and lived… where love,
justice, fraternity and equality arejustice, fraternity and equality are
experienced, nourished and cultivated.”experienced, nourished and cultivated.” --
(ECMI, “Organizing The Migrants’ Families,” The Pastoral and Social Care(ECMI, “Organizing The Migrants’ Families,” The Pastoral and Social Care
of Migrants and their Families, (Manila: CBCP-ECMI, 1995) p. 6)of Migrants and their Families, (Manila: CBCP-ECMI, 1995) p. 6)
3
3
consciousness

5. Happiness Index
““According to a recent survey conductedAccording to a recent survey conducted
by the by the NSCBNSCB, both Filipino men and, both Filipino men and
women rankedwomen ranked familiesfamilies as their primaryas their primary
source of happiness. Health rankedsource of happiness. Health ranked
second and religion ranked third. Incomesecond and religion ranked third. Income
or financial security only ranked 9th andor financial security only ranked 9th and
politics…”politics…”
(http://thelivingrice.blogspot.com/2010/11/survey-says-family-is-no-1-source-(http://thelivingrice.blogspot.com/2010/11/survey-says-family-is-no-1-source-
of.html)of.html)
3Lotto 3

6. I. Definition of Solo-Parenting
1.1.““Somebody who raises child alone:Somebody who raises child alone:
a parent who brings up a child ora parent who brings up a child or
children alone, usually because he orchildren alone, usually because he or
she isshe is UnmarriedUnmarried,, WidowedWidowed, or, or
DivorcedDivorced.”.”
(http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_1861734979/single_parent.html)(http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_1861734979/single_parent.html)
Expand 3 U’s 3

7. I. Definition of Solo-Parenting
2.“Single-parent families can be2.“Single-parent families can be
defined as families where a parentdefined as families where a parent
lives with dependent children, eitherlives with dependent children, either
alonealone or in a larger household,or in a larger household,
without a spouse or partnerwithout a spouse or partner.”.”
(http://family.jrank.org/pages/1581/Single-Parent-Families.html)(http://family.jrank.org/pages/1581/Single-Parent-Families.html)
Alone more with dep 3

8. I. Definition of Solo-Parenting
3.3. “Solo-parent families are now a vital“Solo-parent families are now a vital
subculturesubculture that will have to bethat will have to be
accepted as a legitimate andaccepted as a legitimate and VitalVital
unit of society.”unit of society.”
(The Solo-Parent Experience: A Growing Social Phenomenon, 1996 p. 9)(The Solo-Parent Experience: A Growing Social Phenomenon, 1996 p. 9)
Not unusual 3 barney

9. My Family’s Just Right For Me
• I have a friend who
lives with his mom and
dad, with his brother
and his sister too.
• They have a cat and a
dog and a pet bullfrog,
and I am really glad
they do.

10. My Family’s Just Right For Me
• There's a girl I know
who lives with her
mom, and her dad
lives far away.
• Although she sees her
parents just one at a
time, they both love
her everyday.

11. My Family’s Just Right For Me
• I know a boy whose
new he just moved in,
he moved from
Alabama.
• And the person who’s
the head of his family,
is his loving, dear ole
grandma.

12. My Family’s Just Right For Me
• A family is people and
a family is love, that's a
family.
• They come in all
different Sizes and
different kinds, but
mine is just right for
me, yeah, mine is
Right for me.
Not the typical 3

13. II. Reasons for Solo-Parenting
• There are a number of reasons
why we have this growing social
phenomenon and it is crucial that
we understand these so that we
may be able to Empathize with
them with the intention of
helping.
Enter the world
compassion 3

14. Reasons
• Death of a spouse
• Divorce/Separation/
Annulment
• Mutual agreement to
separate
• Abandonment
• Giving birth and not
choosing to marry
• Adoption
• Raising the child of
Relative
• Temporary solo-
parenting
• Solo parenting by
unusual situation
• Celibate parents
• Stereotyped roles
• Surrogate parenting
Expanded solo care giver

15. Summary
•Choice
•Circumstance
•Chance
passage

16. John 10:10
•“… He came that we
might have life and
live it to the fullest.”

17. III. Challenges of Solo-
Parenting
• “Everything occurring in
the family, regardless of
how carefully hidden,
impacts the children.
Everything.”
(R. Hemfelt and P. Warren, Kids Who Carry Our
Pain, p.70.)
Children cabatu

18. Grief
• 1. Dealing
with
• loss/death
Ask which

19. Which is more painful?
• ““ In death you know they areIn death you know they are
gone and you will never be withgone and you will never be with
them again. In divorce (especiallythem again. In divorce (especially
if you still love the person)if you still love the person) It ripsIt rips
your heart out every second ofyour heart out every second of
every dayevery day..... In death you can let..... In death you can let
them go.”them go.”
(http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/451851(http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/451851))
Case to case resiliency

20. Alone
• 2. Raising the
child/children Alone
2 jobs

21. Nurture and Control
balance

22. Outcast?
• 3. Facing
social
acceptability
.
Pressure intra inter meta
Quote

23. Negative Perception
• ““The reality I have seen over theThe reality I have seen over the
years is usually a stressed out,years is usually a stressed out,
overworked, debt stricken womanoverworked, debt stricken woman
who really had no idea childrenwho really had no idea children
cost so much in time, effort andcost so much in time, effort and
money.”money.”
http://outcastsuperstar.blogspot.com/2010/04/rough-guide-to-shttp://outcastsuperstar.blogspot.com/2010/04/rough-guide-to-s
))
Sweeping statements

24. Money Matters
• 4. Confronting economic
concerns
Economic difficulties

25. Stress Multiplied
• “Whether you are among thatWhether you are among that
number because of divorce, or death,number because of divorce, or death,
or teen pregnancy, by choice, or otheror teen pregnancy, by choice, or other
reasons,reasons, the life of a single parent isthe life of a single parent is
one of stress.one of stress. And when you considerAnd when you consider
the statistics, that stress is oftenthe statistics, that stress is often
multiplied by financial concerns”multiplied by financial concerns”
• http://www.suite101.com/content/single-parenting----a-new-kind-of-family-a305074http://www.suite101.com/content/single-parenting----a-new-kind-of-family-a305074
Stress multiplies

26. Family as a System
• Everybody
affects every
body
.
Bowen

27. Stress Multiplied
• “…“… By definition, a family systemBy definition, a family system
functions because it is a unit, andfunctions because it is a unit, and everyevery
family member plays a critical, if notfamily member plays a critical, if not
unique, role in the systemunique, role in the system. As such, it is. As such, it is
not possible that one member of thenot possible that one member of the
system can change without causing asystem can change without causing a
ripple effect of change throughout theripple effect of change throughout the
family system.”family system.”
• (H. Dan Smith, EdD, MFT)
Affecting each other
discuss

28. Discuss
• In your opinion andIn your opinion and
experience in the field, whatexperience in the field, what
do you think are the commondo you think are the common
challenges facing solo-parentschallenges facing solo-parents
today?today?