A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder sucks the life and shatters the soul out of the caring person in the relationship. Healing from Narcissistic Abuse is a long and painful process. To move on from this toxic and hopeless situation seems insurmountable. This PowerPoint was created to address the question I am most commonly asked: ‘Why Can’t I Move On?’ I hope it helps. Jeni Mawter
3. What happened when you met your
narcissist?
The narcissist mirrored your needs, desires,
fears and insecurities. They mirrored your
ideals, beliefs and value systems. They shared
your ethics and human compassion. They
were the whole package.
Mind + Body + Spirit + Soul = Soul Mate
You’d found your Soul Mate!
5. Narcissistic Relationships
are mutually
addictive
The Narcissist
wants to be:
Loved
Adored
Admired
Cherished
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/x/chain-hearts-
17930342.jpg
You want to
be:
Loved
Adored
Admired
Cherished
6. A Relationship with a
Narcissist
comes at a cost
Mental Cost = Sanity/Self-
esteem/Confidence
Physical Cost = Energy/Safety/Health
Psychological Cost =
Fear/Depression/Anxiety
Spiritual Cost = Lose your ‘Self’/Soul/Spirit
Social Cost =
Reputation/Networks/Supports
Sexual Cost = Relationships/Pleasure/Trust
22. Why are you stuck
in this perpetual cycle?
Stuck in the aftermath of
Narcissistic Abuse?
Some thoughts
…
23. Have you become
dehumanized?
As human beings we:
- have essential needs to be accepted,
loved and respected by ourselves and
others.
- have dreams and hopes for meaningful
and productive futures.
- need to feel connected with others.
24. Society Let You Down? - Myths
http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
25. Society Let You Down? – Family
http://real.fstatuses.com/cards/hearts/642154.jpg
26. Society Let You Down? –
Religious Leaders
http://images.3aw.com.au/2012/12/19/3901153/191212-Religious-Symbols.jpg
27. Society Let You Down? –
Health Professionals
http://www.paulkiritsis.net/drugabuse.jpg
28. Society Let You Down? -
Counselors
http://image.slidesharecdn.com/7mythsaboutnarcissism-110215075316-phpapp02/95/7-myths-about-narcissism-4-
728.jpg?cb=1411737172
29. Society Let You Down? –
Law Enforcement
http://d3thflcq1yqzn0.cloudfront.net/022416038_prevstill.jpeg
30. Society Let You Down? –
Legal System
Narcissists
love
Courtroom Drama
http://storytweetblog.com/2014/09/13/
narcissistic-repercussion/
31. Society Let You Down? –
You
ME?!!!
http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/111/3/d/what_do_you_mean_meme_by_jasperseidel-d4x2gtr.jpg
32. Maybe you won’t believe
the abuse is deliberate
https://www.pilkington.com/~/media/Platform/Icons/Pilkington%20Product%20Categories/BLC%20Safety%20Securi
ty.ashx?mw=200
33. You’re keeping up a façade
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/231/4/b/behind_the_mask_by_kaizoku_hime-d6it0f3.jpg
34. You feel ashamed …
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Society/Pix/pictures/2011/7/6/1309962558124/Young-black-man-with-
head-007.jpg
35. You’ve been in denial
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/thumb/msid-22175182,width-310,resizemode-4/poke-me-shouldnt-we-
stop-being-in-denial-over-the-health-of-our-leaders-people-readers-react.jpg
36. You’ve been living with the
false hope that things will
change
http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs14/f/2007/043/0/7/false_hope_by_feelmefromtheINSIDE.jpg
37. It feels like you’ve got
too much to lose
http://www.jobboardscripts.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/stay-or-leave.jpg
42. When you Dissociate to
Disappear,
http://metaphoricalmarathons.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/20121115-143310.jpg
43. it feels like you’ve lost your
soul
http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/a-lost-soul-brian-graybill.jpg
44. You’ve become a “Missing
Person”
in a body
http://pixelsatanexhibition-com.zippykid.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/michelle-
robinson_uselessness-project-365-looking-for-the-lost-self_130201-1024x768.jpg
45. You don’t know who you are
anymore
http://www.pastortullian.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/identity_crisis-291x3001.jpg
46. Your assumptions about
yourself
have been shattered. You now
feel:- Vulnerable
- Unlovable
- Irrational
- Immoral
- Unworthy
- Unforgiving
- Irrelevant
- Weak
- A poor judge of
character
- Shameful
- Not Safe
- Undeserving
- Lack confidence
- Gullible
- Desperate
- Bitter
- Angry
- Naïve
- A failure
- Traumatized
- Powerless
51. Maybe you’ve been betrayed
too many
times!
http://www.psychic-medium-readings.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/betrayal-240x300.jpg
52. You’ve lost all your trust
http://drewchial.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/trust-fall.jpg
53. Maybe there are too many
narcissists in your life?!
http://uploads0.wikiart.org/images/honore-daumier/meeting-of-thirty-five-heads-of-expression.jpg
54. Your boundaries are being
violated
http://musictherapyeolcare.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/fence.jpg?w=672&h=372&crop=1
55. You are in a permanent state
of
Hypervigilence
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NJ9wC5l-
8nE/Tqn6nW_3uzI/AAAAAAAABVk/PimfqmmjPX8/s400/Fight%2BOr%2BFlight%2BUncertainty.jpg
56. You can’t concentrate or
sleep
http://www.batte.com/images/figures/e.exhaustion.w.jpg
58. You’re bogged down with
negative self talk
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/image3.jpg
59. You’re confused by
mixed messages
http://www.9lenses.com/wp-content/uploads/The_Ultimate_Love-Hate_Relationship_–_Marketing__Sales.gif
60. You think you’re going
Crazy!
http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/357/e/5/i__m_not_crazy____am_i__by_maxkill300-d4k1m5d.jpg
61. The Pain is Physical and
Constant
http://kalabalu.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/22-649x627.jpeg
62. Yet your wounds are invisible
http://wwwassets.rand.org/content/rand/capabilities/solutions/addressing-the-invisible-wounds-of-
war/_jcr_content/par/solution/contextImage.aspectfit.0x0.jpg/1393779650822.jpg
63. Tactic: Reversal of Victim
Role
The Narcissist puts a huge amount of effort into their
public persona. Bystanders believe that they are
genuine, righteous and kind. If a victim attempts to
disclose their maliciousness The Narcissist makes
derogatory remarks about the target’s mental state,
character and motives.
They use role reversal, feigning moral indignation
and playing the role of victim. Believing the public
persona supporters see the real victim, attempting to
be heard, as the abusive one.
64. People don’t understand
the extent of your torment
http://media-cache-
ak0.pinimg.com/originals/9a/c1/25/9ac1255051f26cc63203a58ab14556a1.jpg
65. So there’s No Validation
We heal
when
we are
heard
and
validated
66. No Validation means No Justice
from
Legal Systems
Family
Friends
Work Colleagues
Peers
New Partners
Health Systems
http://www.wallpaperhere.com/System_Failure_6939/downloa
d_1024x768
67. It feels like it’s never over
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bI36yWhwDLw/UciMvOCoDuI/AAAAAAAAAaE/pWKyiAudbKI/s1600/spider.jpg
73. You keep re-living the pain
http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/imagecache/og/blogs/40875/2010/12/51578-41666.jpg
74. Your pain is your identity
http://www.imaginationstudio.com/images/digiart/damedium/Identity%20Crisis.jpg
75. You’re stuck on being ‘The
Victim’
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-
7C9UIz3JozU/Uw2BLvI3AvI/AAAAAAAAARE/eHZEDe4hgBU/s1600/
Steve+Maraboli+Quote+Victim+Mentality.jpg
76. You’re Stuck in the Past
http://images.psxextreme.com/wallpapers/ps3/lost_identity_1273.jpg
78. You’re too nice! In order to move on
you must reject what drives you
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jfUgrSCsIUI/TnJBF-
42xbI/AAAAAAAAANA/RgeO0vYQf_8/s1600/I+Face+Trials+with+an+Open+Mind%252C+Faith%252C+Love+
83. Why is it so easy
for an abuser
to get away with it
and so difficult
for an abuse victim
to be heard?
84. Unless others have experienced
Narcissistic Abuse they don’t
believe it
https://afternarcissisticabuse.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/1inexplicable.jpg?w=604
90. About Jeni Mawter
Jeni Mawter is an Australian
writer whose young adult
multi-text novel, Kiss Kill, is
about Narcissistic Personality
Disorder.
http://amzn.com/B00PIADCNY
www.jenimawter.com