Marriage is a fertile ground for conflicts. It is also one of the best relationships one can have in life. I believe there are certain ingredients that are necessary in marriage.

1. 5 ‘C’s NECESSARY
IN MARRIAGE
Marriage is a fertile ground for conflicts. It
is also one of the best relationships one
can have in life. I believe there are certain
ingredients that are necessary in marriage.
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2. • Many times couples are destroying their
marriage and, most times, it’s not
intentional and they didn’t even know it
was occurring.
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3. • Here are ways you may be destroying your
marriage:
• Other interests come between you.
• Unresolved conflict
• The couple stops dreaming together.
• Boredom.
• Living separate agendas.
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4. • In order to bring life into this kind of situation
in marriage there is the need to carefully
consider the following 5’C’s in your marriage.
I believe they are so necessary to bring back
vitality in any situation in our marriages.
• 1. Clarity
• 2. Commitment
• 3. Confession
• 4. Community
• 5. Consequences
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5. 1. Clarity
• When someone can’t admit wrong, take
personal responsibility, or see what their part
of the problem is, don’t blame them but
assist them. Make it clear. It’s always easier
to blame others or make excuses than to see
clearly our own part of the problem.
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6. • Matthew 6:22-23
• "The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore
your eye is good, your whole body will be full
of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole
body will be full of darkness. If therefore the
light that is in you is darkness, how great is
that darkness! (NKJV)
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7. • Jesus tells us when our eye is healthy,
our whole body is full of light. But he
also goes on to warn those who think
that they see clearly but really don’t. He
tells them that they are in grave danger
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8. • If someone’s sorrow is genuine, he stops
lying to himself that it’s everyone else’s
fault that he behaves the way he does.
He stops telling himself that what he
does isn’t that bad or that he can’t
change.
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9. • Change only begins when a person sees
clearly he needs to change and that
means taking responsibility for himself
and his own destructive behaviors.
He/she stops blaming, no more excuses,
even if provoked.
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10. 2. Commitment:
• There are things that people see quite clearly
yet they are not committed to changing
them. They feel too hard or they’re not yet
willing to give up the temporary good
feelings they receive from overdoing,
overeating or overspending.
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11. • Some spouses want to change but do not
want to do the work involved to actually
change. Change is not easy. It takes total
commitment to change and also takes time.
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12. • For change to actually happen one must
make the commitment to do the work to
change so that these same sins that have
broken trust in his/her marriage don’t
continue to repeat themselves.
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13. • A verbally abusive man may need to learn
how to handle his frustrations,
disappointments, and negative feelings when
his wife upsets him or doesn’t do what he
wants her to do. In the past he’s blamed her,
insisting that if only she changed and didn’t
upset him, he wouldn’t have acted that way.
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14. • He must be committed to learning how to
manage his own negative emotions when it
actually happens and he feels furious.
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15. 3. Confession:
• Confession is a major necessity in marriage.
No one changes overnight, but when he/she
messes up and repeats old behavior, he/she
must now do something differently than
he/she has in the past. Now he/she
confesses. One no longer hides, lies,
minimizes, or blames someone else for
his/her bad behavior.
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16. • Practicing confession humbles us. It helps us
put into practice the new attitudes and
actions that we want to grow in. Repentance
isn’t just saying I’m sorry; confession is
turning from your sins and learning not to
repeat them.
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17. 4. Community:
• We don’t grow in isolation. We grow in a
community. God did not intend people to
mature all by themselves. From birth he put
infants into families to help them learn, grow,
and mature.
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18. • Hebrews 3:13
• ‘but exhort one another daily, while it is
called "Today," lest any of you be hardened
through the deceitfulness of sin’. (NKJV)
• We need one another so that we don’t stay
deceived about our own selves .
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19. 5. Consequences:
• Choices have consequences. God has given
us freedom to choose. We can choose right
or wrong, love or hate, good or bad, to
change or not to change. Closely linked to our
choices are the consequences of our choices.
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20. • An important part of growing up is being able
to see ahead to the consequences of our
choices, both positive and negative.
• Spouses must see ahead to the results of
their choices.
• It’s important to accept that when a spouse
sins against his/her spouse there are always
negative consequences.
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21. • The 5 ‘C’s are crucial in our marriages.
• Clarity, commitment, confession,
community, and consequences are five
stepping stones that lead to greater
growth and maturity, which can lead to
lasting changes in our marriages.
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