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Throughout the presentation you’ll see
these clouds. These are the actual fears
that hit me while making this
presentation. I hope they resonate with
fears you have had and by watching
them change into activating thoughts
rather than limiting ones, it gives some
tools to allow you to do so as well.
Am I going to bomb this presentation?
What if I talk too fast?
What if they don’t get anything out of it?
What if they’re bored?

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Fakes &
Bullies:
Taming your impostor syndrome to find your inner thought leader
Agile PDX February 2019 Monthly meeting
an evening with Agile PDX and
Kat Daugherty

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Kat Daugherty
Enterprise Agile Coach
Business Agility
Enterprise Coach,
Speaker
Organizational Change
Management
Neurological Training
Methods
Expertise
Global Organization Design
Certified Scrum Alliance and Scaled Agile Training Providers
Enterprise Agile Transformation
Professional experience

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Jon Spurlock
Slalom Consultant
Applied Innovation
Marketing
Program Management
Expertise
Technology Leadership
Product Management
Operations
Professional experience
My Great and Many Thanks to
Jon Spurlock, without whom this
talk would not have existed.

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Shu Ha Ri Shu aHa Ri
Learn the Practice Understand the
Theory
Achieve Self-
Awareness
I can learn my way out of this!

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Shu ha ri
Learn the practices: Bullies,
Fakes, Imposters

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Sharing my bullying experiences

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Behavior that is:
1. Unwanted
2. Repeated
3. Intended to
establish power
Olweus Bullying
Prevention
Program
Clemson
University

9.
10Can they here my internal voice?
Do I sound like a complainer?

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How a bully made me feel like a fake,
And a talk on imposters inspired me to view myself differently.

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Micro-habit changes can feel
mechanical, but often no one is even
noticing but you.
Am I talking too fast?

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Natural Born
Genius
Feel shame
when it takes you
a long time to
learn something
Perfectionist
Setbacks crush your self
worth because people
expect you to be good at
things.
May avoid trying things
where you might fail.
Superhero
Feel guilty when
not working
Struggle with
work life balance
Soloist
Hesitate to ask
others for help or
work with them
because it could
appear you don’t
have the right
skills
Expert
Feel anxious
when someone
calls you an
expert
IMPOSTER
Syndrome
FACES OF

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Without vulnerability, we cannot be our authentic selves. It is
only through the courage to own our mistakes that we earn the
right to share our ideas with others.
This part is going to be so hard.

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Catching my reflection:
In sharing my ideas in ways that didn’t
take the feelings of others into account,
I’ve been a bully too?!
Let ye who has never valued their own ideas over others
be the first to shout bully.

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Shu ha ri
Learn the practices: Bullies,
Fakes, Imposters
Understand the theory: What
can we do about it?

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Goodbye, Imposter Syndrome.
Give the negative thoughts a name, a face, an identify and ask them to leave when
you don’t need them in your head space.
Name that voice “Felicia” And tell her BYE! Let’s give the mic to those positive voices!

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How to not be a
bully

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Empathy
Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Agile applies servant leadership to build empathy into our practices.
The single most important resolution to
every single human conflict is:

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Servant
Leadership in
Agile
When we teach agile, I find we’re usually
learning processes. Most training events
skip entirely over servant leadership, but
look where and how often you find it in
agile:

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Building in reminders to the habits I am trying to
develop is one Micro habit that works for me.
Smile.
Stand up tall.

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The very first line of the manifesto!
We are uncovering
better ways of
developing
software by doing it
and helping others
do it.

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First and most important value: People
Individuals and
interactions over
processes and tools

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Even if they’re not on our team: People!
The human experience brings the real
value, not the tool you’re building.
Customer
collaboration over
contract negotiation

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Yes, even business people are people.
We’re all in the same boat! Seek to
understand! Servants don’t compete.
Business people and
developers must
work
together daily
throughout the
project.

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Habits only change
with intention.
Show Calm Energy

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Consider the idea of INVITATION. Are
you sharing your ideas with someone
who has not confirmed they want to hear
them? How can you change that habit?
Ask their thoughts, or ask their
permission to share before sharing!
Build projects
around motivated
individuals.

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You mean if I email you and never speak
to you, you won’t be as likely to trust that
I care about your needs as well as mine?
Who would have guessed!
The most efficient and
effective method of
conveying
information to and
within a development
team is face-to-face
conversation.

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Be Welcoming
Warning, incredibly
difficult!
Frequently request feedback. Five times more
often than you give it. Be thankful when you get it
and don’t defend yourself instead of listening to
the feedback.

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To me, this means the only way to
“manage” a team is by servant leadership:
Getting things out of their way!
The best
architectures,
requirements, and
designs
emerge from self-
organizing teams.

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As a team member, how can you help the
others in your team to feel heard to
ensure the best outcome for the product?
How can they best help you to feel
heard? Isn’t that the entire reason we
have a retrospective?
At regular intervals, the
team reflects on how
to become more
effective, then tunes and
adjusts
its behavior accordingly.

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This is what Empathy
looks like as a verb.
Genuinely listen

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How do you
battle your
imposter
syndrome (Be a
Thought Leader)

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It’s about the person I’m talking to, not me
If someone doesn’t believe your advice or ideas will
benefit them, then why would you give it to them?
Ask – don’t assume – they might not want a new
idea.

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Thought leader:
Someone who Learned
something,
Tried something,
and Shared something.
Kat Daugherty, Me,
Person speaking.
Consultant, Slalom
Please stand up.
Sit if you have never learned something.
Sit if you have never tried something you learned.
Sit if you have never shared something you tried.
If you are standing, you are a thought leader in that idea!
When speaking to others, keep in mind they are experts in something you don’t know also. No matter how
far along they are in their journey.

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Explore their ideas before asking permission to share
what has worked for me.
What has helped you position
yourself in the community as a
thought leader? How do you help
others and gain confidence in your
value?

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Personal Branding
Do I have your permission to share some things that have worked for me?

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Thought
Leadership
Methods
Ways to share
what you learn
• Connect with me!
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kat-daugherty/
• Tag me and I’ll tag you back!
• Public Speaking
• Contact me if this is an interest for you.
• Forming Communities
• Volunteering
• Champion vs Mentor
• Sharing information is great.
Suggesting opportunities for someone
is better!
The best ideas I have found are “Thought” Leader AND “Servant” Leader
oriented. Let’s focus on making ourselves:
“Thought Servant Leaders”!

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Shu ha ri
Learn the practices: Bullies,
Fakes, Imposters
Understand the theory: What
can we do about it?
Achieve Self Awareness: How
will you share your growth with
others to lift them up?

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Goal
20%
• What’s on your mind?
• What’s your ideal
outcome?
• If you would wave a magic
wand?
“What Else?”
Reality
30%
• What’s the challenge for
you?
• What assumptions have
you made?
• How do you feel about it?
• Don’t ask why!
What/How NOT why!
Options
40%
• What have you already
done?
• What would you tell me if
you were coaching me?
• If you say yes to doing
something, what musts you
say no to?
• Can I offer alternatives?
(Wait!)
Way Forward
10%
• What’s a good first
experiment?
• What are others and can
you do many or just one?
• What has been valuable for
you in this conversation
and how can get better?
Coach Format
O WG R

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HABIT
• What is your new habit?
Your Habit
Plan
TRIGGER
• What are the triggers for the habit
you are breaking?
MICRO-HABIT
• What can you start tomorrow?
PRACTICE
• When and where will you start?

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Thank you