1. crushed
I’ve officially been

2. I work in marketing.
It’s my job to keep tabs on what’s popular these days.
I’ve totes got to stay young and hip. YOLO.

3. So sometimes I find myself doing things
(like reading the entire shades of grey trilogy)
in the name of “research.”

4. More recently
this research involved a crush.

5. to be more specific, I’m talking about a candy crush.

6. that has since turned into a saga.

7. i simply wanted to know why everyone is playing this stupid candy game with the ugly font.
an innocent curiosity.

8. so I started playing.
(And obviously this is what I looked like.)

9. at first my candy crush exploration was just a fling.
we kept it casual.
and hung out when we had some time to spare.

10. Then things started to move to the next level(s).
i was playing during my favourite shows.
and ignoring my cat.
(ok well if i had a cat, i would have ignored him.)

11. I played until my hearts ran out.

12. and then I’d count down the 18:02 minutes until the next heart came.

13. in a moment of weakness, when i actually considered
buying a bundle of imaginary hearts
it hit me:
genius
1. I had an addiction
2. the strategy behind candy crush saga is pure

14. it’s free.
(but you quickly find yourself amassing a “practical” list of
reasons why buying a lollipop hammer is a good idea.)

15. (until you find yourself waiting for a new life, which
feels akin to swimming a mile through mud.)
it’s quick.

16. it’s easy.
(but tricky enough that when you beat a tough
level you want nothing more than to post it for
all of your facebook friends to see.
seriously.)

17. Its got explosions. (And schools of swedish fish) And Explosions.

18. it’s a never-ending saga.
(The levels keep going, So you do the same.)

19. i can feel this game
pulling me
further
and
further
into a
brightly colored,
sugar-coated
rabbit hole.

20. they say curiosity killed the cat.
well, now i know.

21. But really, i did this for you.

22. so you won’t be fooled by
its innocent candy coat.

23. this is no normal game, my friends.

24. this is a game.
that will chew you up.
and spit you out.

25. i warn you now,
if you choose to play
Prepare to be
crushed