1. Dating and Marital Success
TASKS AND FACTORS AFFECTING
SATISFACTION

2. True or False?
 Research suggests that dating experience leads to greater
marital success.
 FALSE
 “Being in love” when you first get married is the greatest
predictor of marital success.
 TRUE
 Greater dating experience may make marital satisfaction
harder to achieve because it heightens an individual’s
expectations.
 TRUE

3. A Study ...
 Psychologist: Martin King Whyte
 Hypothesis: dating experiences lead to successful
marriages.
 Findings: No correlation between dating
experience, length of dating, engagement, degree of
pre-marital intimacy and marital success.
 Couples from Detroit were interviewed.

4. “Being in Love”
 According to Sternberg, couples who are deeply in
love:
#1 Strong sexual desire for each other
#2 Knew each other well and enjoyed each other’s
company
#3 Made the relationship a priority in their lives

5. Issues: “The Market Experience”
 Shopping for a partner, “test driving” is problematic
 In the realm of free-choice mate selection, we have to
say “yes” or “no” to one partner at a time.
 What if you want to return to an old partner and
they’re no longer available?
 Greater choices = increased expectations and
scrutiny of partners in marriage.

6. The Role of Negotiation
 Romanticizing “the day”, rather than the
commitment.
 Couples may not realize the shared roles, rules and
duties that need to be negotiated in their new life.
 Will the new roles be compatible? How can we
form a new life together without “ditching” our
independent selves?

7. 9 Psychological Tasks
 Psychologist: Judith Wallerstein
 Out to determine “what makes marriages succeed”.
 The pillars that hold up a marriage.

8. #1
 Separating from your own family, and
investing fully in the new one.
Redefining the lines of connection to
each.

9. #2
 Building togetherness based on mutual
identification, shared intimacy and
expanded conscience.

10. #3
 Establish a healthy sexual relationship
and maintaining it, despite work and
family obligations.

11. #4
 (For Couples with Kids)
 Take on the daunting roles of
parenthood! A baby’s impact is
challenging.

12. #5
 Confronting and mastering the
inevitable crises of life.

13. #6
 Maintaining the strength of marital
bond despite adversity. Marriage as a
safe haven.

14. #7
 Use humour and laughter to keep things in
perspective and avoid boredom.

15. #8
 Nurture and comfort each other. Offer
encouragement and support.

16. #9
 Keep alive the romantic, idealized
images of falling in love, even when
unpleasant realities hit.

17. Successful
Marriage
Scavenger Hunt!!
• Choose your partner.
• Get a piece of paper & write numbers 1-9.
• Can you find and match the “9 Psychological Tasks”?

18. The 6 R’s of Marriage
 Psychologist: Claude Guldner
 Influenced by Systems Theory
 Aims to summarize the negotiations required
in early marriage. What rules, roles and duties
need to be discussed?

19. The 6 R’s – pg 214
#1 Roots
#2 Rhythms
#3 Rules
#4 Roles
#5 Relationships
#6 Rituals

20. Questions
 What is the meaning/definition of your “R”?
 How could this “R” present challenges for a newly
married couple? What types of challenges?
 Can you think of a specific example of a challenge?
 How could this challenge be negotiated or resolved?