1. Selection of evidence on the adoption of siblings and the need
sometimes to separate brothers and sisters in their interests
Kosonen (1994) identified several factors in the birth family which
can negatively influence the relationship between siblings. These
include:
poor attachments to parents which can result in intense
sibling conflict;
a conflictual relationship between parents which can result
in poor sibling relationships with boys particularly affected;
neglect and parental absence resulting in strong
compensatory sibling relationships, often where an older
sibling provides some parenting of a younger child. Such
bonds can become abusive.
Burnell, Vaughan and Williams (2007) argue that, in their
experience, children who have suffered very poor attachments
need to develop a secure attachment to a safe adult or adults. That
sometimes requires the separation of siblings because, if placed
together they may inhibit the formation of healthy adult
attachments.
Gerrilyn Smith, has identified six indicators of where keeping
siblings together may be damaging for them

2. when there is intense rivalry and jealousy between children;
where there is child on child exploitation often with boys
dominating and exploiting girls;
when there is chronic scapegoating of one child by others;
where there are unhelpful hierarchical positions with one
child stuck in the role of victim or bully;
where there is highly sexualized behavior between children;
and
where children can trigger trauma in one another, often
unconsciously.
Lord and Borthwick(„Together or Apart‟ 2001) listed the following
conditions which may indicate that siblings should be placed
separately:
• intense rivalry and jealousy, with each child totally pre-
occupied with, and unable to tolerate the attention their
sibling(s) may be getting;
• exploitation, often based on gender, e.g. boys may have been
seen and see themselves as inherently superior to their sisters,
with a right to dominate and exploit them;
• chronic scapegoating of one child;
• maintaining unhelpful alliances in a sibling group and family
of origin. Sibling patterns of behaviour may be strongly
entrenched and may prevent re-parenting or learning new
cultural norms;

3. • maintaining unhelpful hierarchical positions e.g. the child
may be stuck in the role of victim or bully;
• highlysexualised behaviour with each other;
• acting as triggers to each others traumatic material potentially
re-traumatising each other. The triggers may well be
unconscious, unintentional and mundane.
Quotes:
FAMILY FUTURES:
“Children placed for adoption today have in the vast majority of
cases been removed from birth parents by the courts because of
„significant harm‟. The „significant harm‟ leaves these children
developmentally traumatised with all aspects of their
development impacted by the early poor parenting. Therefore the
task of adoptive parents of „developmentally re-parenting‟ these
children is more demanding than normal parenting. Having to do
this with a sibling group makes the task extremely difficult.
We need to change custom and practice from a presumption that
siblings should be kept together at all costs to prioritising the
potential for children to form a secure attachment to adoptive
parents which may require them to be parented as „onlys‟ rather
than siblings.”

4. BARNARDO‟S
“Children, particularly young children have an overwhelming
need for stable secure loving homes if they are to grow into
healthy resilient adults. This need must be allowed to take
precedence over a desire to have contact or to be placed with their
siblings. If they can be placed together, well and good, but if the
needs of the sibling group are too great for any one set of adoptive
parents to realistically meet them, or the search for such „super
adopters‟ delays their placement, then the individual needs of each
child must come first.
BAAF:
The decision whether or not to place siblings together or apart for
adoption is one of the most profound decisions that a local
authority can take. It is a decision that will impact upon a child
and their siblings for the rest of their life… For some children we
agree that separate placements will be the right decision. It is a
decision that must always be taken with great care and on the
basis of sound assessment evidence.