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MISSISSIPPI
STATEDEPARTMENTOFHEALTH
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT COMMUNITY:What does it mean to me?
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Pose the question:“What does community mean to you?”
• Students should think about their communities of…
o Residence – neighborhoods, developments, school
districts, towns, or counties.
o Relationships– the people that make up these
communities.
• Most of your students will probably list their neighborhood
as their community and their family as the basis of this
community because they are the people they feel most
connected to.
• Define community and kinship.
2) Explain to students that today we will be developing
“a circle of community.”
3) Display your“Circle of Community”example.
•	 Explain the levels of community to your students. For
example:
4) Have students create their own circles of community.
• Allow 5 minutes: Students brainstorm their own list of
communities and the different groups of people they feel a
kinship with.
• Pass out blank handout“Circles of Community.”
o Students will organize their lists to create their own circles.
oThey can use your diagram as a model.
o They can put multiple groups in one circle. But the group(s)
they feel the strongest sense of community with should go
in the inside circle, then the next closest group(s), and so
on.
• Next, ask them to put the names or initials of two or three
people, in each level of their community, in the circles.
  5) Read aloud the following situations common to
teenagers. Have students identify on their diagrams
which people they would most likely share the situation
with.
Question/Answer:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
Closing Summary:
Today, we developed our own circles of community and now have a
better understanding of the people and relationships that define these
communities.
Relationship Examples
Work together Fellow workers
LiveTogether Neighborhood, apartment complex
Fellowship/Friendship Friends, social, or religious groups
Common culture Gender, racial/ethnic group
Common history Family members, long-time friends
Common interest or concern Sports, hobbies, or political
Situation Write onYour Circle
Tell a secret about a friend “secret”
Cry over something that hurts “cry”
Ask for help with schoolwork “schoolwork”
Borrow money “loan”
Talk about problems with parents “parent”
Ask for advice about sex “sex”
Talk about using drugs “drugs”
Discuss serious family troubles “family”
Ask advice about a medical problem “medical”
What did you learn about your own community? Is it larger or
smaller than you thoughts?What connects you to others in your
community?
Why do most people talk or ask about certain things with some
people, but not with others?
Are there people in any circle for whom you would risk your
personal health and safety? In which circle?Why?
Are there any parts of your community that you want to build
closer relationships with?
6
ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT COMMUNITY:What does it mean to me?
7
Name: ________________________________ Date: ________________
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
LESSON ACTIVITIES:
Instructional Sequence:
1) Have students share what they wrote down for their
icebreaker.Thank them for sharing, and then explain that
many people do not feel proud or confident about some of their
attributes or how they look. Some people are uncomfortable
with their body’s appearance.
2) Form small, same-sex groups of 3-5 students. Give each
group two pieces of flipchart paper and a marker.
• Have students brainstorm different body parts of their gender
that people often feel dissatisfied with, and record on one piece of
flipchart paper. Label your list either“Men often do not like…”or
“Women often do not like…”
• Distribute magazines, scissors, and tape to each group.Tell
students to find pictures of people of their gender that they
believe to be attractive. Have students make a collage of these
pictures on their second piece of flipchart paper. Students
should add words or phrases that describe an attractive member
of their gender.
• Showcase the finished lists and collages on the wall when groups
are finished.
3) Give each student several sticky-notes. Instruct students to
rotate around the room silently, and leave comments on other
groups’lists and collages. Examples of comments your students
may write:
• I agree because…
• I disagree because…
• This picture is infuriating because it portrays men/women…
• I believe…
4) Ask students to take a seat. Make mental notes about
commonalities in each list. Summarize what you saw on the
lists, collages, and sticky-notes to your students.
Example:
•	 I see that several male lists included
height as one thing men often dislike
about their own body.
•	 I see that many female lists include
weight as one thing women often
dislike about their own body.
Possible Questions to Discuss:
•	 What does that say about men who
are short or medium height? Can
they still be attractive?
•	 Why do you think that only tall men
are attractive?
•	 What do you think contributes the
most to girls’unhappiness about
their weight?
•	 Why do we only think girls of certain
weight are attractive?
Question/Answer:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
	 Do you think that women or men are in general more satisfied 	
	 with their own appearance?What gives you this impression?
	 Where/from whom do we get our ideas about what is
	 attractive and what is not?
	 Did you find pictures that coincided with your ideas about 		
	 what is attractive? If not, what were you looking for that you 	
	 couldn’t find?
			
	 Can we change some parts of our body?Which ones and how? 	
	 Have we really changed when we change these parts of our 	
	 bodies? Does this make us better people?
	 What parts of us can we not change? Does our inability to 		
change some parts of our body mean that we are unattractive?	
	 Why or why not?
	 What are some things about us that make us attractive, but 	
	 that do NOT rest on our appearance?
POINTSTO EMPHASIZE: humor, intelligence, friendliness, kindness,
tact, consideration, patience, determination, compassion, ability to love
and be loved, to be a good parent, student, employee/employer, friend,
or neighbor.
	 What specific things can adolescents/teens do to feel better 	
	 about their bodies?
SUGGESTIONS: being supportive friends, finding supportive friends,
paying less attention to media images, talking to a counselor, being
active/involved in school, talking to parents.
Closing Summary:
Today, we discussed body image and how the media can often influence
how we feel about our own bodies. Although we often associate
physical appearance with beauty, we also possess other qualities that
make us attractive. Remember, there are many people you can talk to
when you start to develop negative feelings about your body.
BODY IMAGE
9
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Introduce the concept of self-esteem.
• Explain the importance of having a positive self-esteem.
o Healthy self-esteem serves as‘armor’for kids against the challenges of the world.
o Kids that feel good about themselves are generally optimistic and have a positive outlook in the face of challenges.
• Explain the potential damaging nature of having a negative self-esteem.
o Disappointing life experiences may contribute to an unhealthy self-esteem.
o Kids that are highly critical of themselves are frustrated easily and tend to immediately say“I can’t”in the face of
challenges.
2)WHOLE CLASS ACTIVITY:The IALAC Story
• Explain to students that you will be reading the story aloud to them about a person’s developing self-esteem.
• Tell students to listen carefully to determine when negative life events occur.
o When students identify that a negative life event has occurred, have them rip off a piece of the IALAC sign.
• Read story slowly. Prompt the class with questions as needed if they are not catching on as to when negative life
events are occurring.
3) PARTNER ACTIVITY: Follow-Up Questions
• After reading the story, pass out“The IALAC Story: Discussion Questions”handout.
• Have students work with partners to answer questions.
• Discuss questions as a whole group.
4) INDEPENDENT ACTIVITY: Individual Reflection
• Have students reflect on personal questions about their own IALAC signs.
• Tell students that this activity is a personal reflection opportunity. Nobody else will see their answers.
• Instruct students to keep their handouts as a reminder for fun activities they can do to boost their self-esteem.
Closing Summary:
Today, we discussed how our self-esteem is affected by events that occur throughout our lives.We also learned about the
impact that self-esteem can have on our decisions.
SELF-ESTEEM
11
SELF-ESTEEMADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT SELF-ESTEEM
Leader’s Resource:Teacher should read this out loud to students.
This is a story about Michaela and one of her most prized possessions – her IALAC sign.When Michaela was born, she was just like the rest of us. She came equipped with a sign
called her IALAC. IALAC stands for“I Am Loveable And Capable.”
Because it was invisible, no one – not her parents, relatives, or the doctor who delivered her – knew it was there. Nevertheless, it was shiny and new and in the earliest days of
Michaela’s life when her young mother and father were happily married and gave her kisses every day, her IALAC sign actually grew a little bit larger and stronger.
The IALAC sign is an indication that children come into this world free of self-doubt, feelings of shame, inferiority, or anything negative.They must learn those things from the
people and the world around them.
At age five, Michaela did a lot of fun things with her parents.They had fun on the playground and watched cartoons on Saturdays. Michaela spent time with both of her grand-
parents and was showered with attention and gifts. One day at the playground, she heard her mom and dad yelling at each other. Michaela immediately felt scared. She went
over to give her dad a hug, and her father frowned and told her to go back to the swings. Her father’s face looked so mean that Michaela started to cry. Michaela’s mom came
over and hugged her, but she was still not consoled.
A very small piece of Michaela’s IALAC sign fell off. Michaela didn’t feel so loveable and capable at that moment.
On her 9th birthday, Michaela was excited because she was having a birthday sleepover. Six girls were at her house, four of her best friends, and two other popular girls from her
class.They had played games and had just sung Happy Birthday. It was finally time for the cake. As Michaela cut herself a big slice, she heard her two classmates giggle under
their breath. Michaela looked down and saw her stomach protruding over her jeans. She immediately felt self conscious and ashamed.
Time passed and before you knew it, Michaela was starting sixth grade in a new middle school. Her body was changing so much – she still thought she was“too fat,”but she now
had breasts and a big behind that got a lot of comments from the boys at her school. Michaela liked the attention, but it was scary at the same time. Sometimes boys would ask
her to go in a vacant room and have sex. She always just laughed and waved them away, but it was exciting.
By 7th grade, Michaela’s mother had started giving her lectures about boys and sex. She seemed worried that Michaela was going to have sex soon. Her typical speech went like
this,“I hope you’ve learned something by being in this house.Your daddy hasn’t done right by me or you, so I hope you’ve learned that you can’t count on a man. I know you
think you’re grown and all, but you aren’t. Please don’t let some stupid boy sweet talk you and get you to have sex with him.You can’t believe anything guys say to you.They’re
just out for what they can get.”
At first, those conversations really bothered Michaela because she felt like her mother didn’t know her and didn’t trust her. Soon, she just began to tune her mother out. She also
had a sort of wound inside her when she thinks about her father. Sometimes, she thinks her mother is right – her dad is just a loser. And other times she thinks that there’s just
something about herself that her dad can’t completely love. Michaela misses him and wishes he would come visit her more often.
Later that year, Michaela and her mom had to move to a less expensive apartment.That meant Michaela had to attend a new school and make all new friends. Her classes were
bigger, and the teacher’s didn’t seem as helpful. Michaela’s grades started to fall.What she hated worst was the time after school. In her new neighborhood, there was nothing to
do – no recreation center, no fun activities. It was so boring. She felt down because she had nothing to do to interest or challenge her.
Then this 8th grader, DeShawn, started talking to Michaela. He was nice, and it made Michaela feel good to spend time with him and have him care about her.When he started
making a move to have sex with her, Michaela agreed. She called him every day, and they had good conversations. But then DeShawn started pulling away from her.When she
tried to talk to him, he said nothing was wrong, but she could tell it was. One day she saw DeShawn with his arm around another girl.When she walked over to him, he said,“Hey
Michaela, I want you to meet my new girlfriend, Shana.”Michaela was so hurt.
By the time Michaela graduated high school, her IALAC sign had done a lot of mending. Michaela started to work harder at school and brought her grades up. She also developed
a closer relationship with her father and had a great group of friends that she loved spending time with.Young people are resilient, but are still affected by different events in
their lives that can cause cracks in their IALAC signs.
 
The IALAC Story
Resource: Courtesy of ETR ReCAPP – written by PamelaWilson
12
ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT SELF-ESTEEM
1)	 What are your first impressions/reactions to Michaela’s IALAC Story?
2)	 How do you think Michaela’s relationship with her father affected her self-esteem?What about her 		
	 relationship with her mother?
3)	 How do you think Michaela’s feelings of self-esteem affected her decision to have sexual intercourse?
4)	 What do you think attracted Michaela to DeShawn?
5)	 Why do you think DeShawn pulled away from Michaela?
6)	 What parts of the story could you relate to and why?
7)	 If you were Michaela’s friend, what would you advise her to do now to increase her self-esteem?
The IALAC Story:
Discussion Questions
13
Name: ________________________________ Date: ________________
ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
What kinds of things have happened in your life that might have damaged your IALAC sign?
What kinds of activities make you feel good about yourself? How often do you get to do these things? How do
you think these activities would affect your IALAC sign?
PERSONAL REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
SELF-ESTEEM
14
Name: ________________________________ Date: ________________
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Explain to students that an important part of adolescent
development is to prepare for your future. One way to plan
ahead is to have and outline clear goals for oneself.
• Tell students that when we have a strong vision of what we
want, we are more likely to be successful at achieving our goals.
2) Pass out the“Envisioning My Future”handout.
• Explain to students the two sides of the handout.
o This is me now: Students should use magazine pictures,
personal drawings, words, phrases or song lyrics that best
describe them as an individual.
	 Topics students should think about: special skills,
strengths, hobbies, activities, interests, physical
traits, and achievements.
o This is my future: Students should similarly use magazine
pictures, drawings, words, phrases, or song lyrics to create
an image of the future they envision.
	 Topics students should think about: education,
career, awards, family, home, travel, and lifestyle.
• Remind students that they can be as creative as possible
when doing this activity. Encourage outside-the-box thinking
and imagination. Avoid stifling creativity. Instead of critiquing
goals or future plans, invite your students to explain more
about their dreams.
3) Allow students approximately 15 minutes to work on their
composite visualizations.When they begin wrapping up, ask
every student to tape their picture on the wall.
• Instruct students to walk around the classroom and observe
each others’work.
• Tell students to make a mental note of certain pictures or
words that they either find interesting or can identify with
• Explain to them that you want to hear their impressions of what
other students think their futures will look like.
Question/Answer:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
	 Was it easy or difficult to find pictures that could represent 		
	 you?What additional images would you have liked 	 	
	 to include, but could not find?
	
	 What did you learn about yourself as you did this activity?
	
	 When you looked at everyone’s composites, did any of them 	
	 remind you of yourself?
	
	 Did you notice major differences between some composites 	
	 and others? If so, what differences did you notice?
	
	 How difficult was it to imagine your future?
Closing Summary:
Today, we completed some self-exploration and strengthened our own
understanding of who we are as a person.We also reflected on our
skills and interests to envision how these could play out in our future.
ENVISIONING MY FUTURE
16
ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
“THIS IS ME ANDTHIS IS MY FUTURE”HANDOUT
Name: ________________________________ Date: ________________
THIS IS ME
...THIS IS MY FUTURE
ENVISIONING MY FUTURE
17
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
HEALTHY SKILLS BODY LANGUAGE
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Explain the difference between normal communication and
nonverbal communication.
• Remind students that clear communication is vital for healthy
relationships with family, friends, coworkers, and romantic
partners.
• Explain that problems often occur in communicating when a
sender’s actions in some way will contradict what he or she is
saying.
2) Whole Class Activity: Body Language Charades
• Explain to students that this activity will give participants a
chance to practice communicating through body language.
• Give students the following information on the activity.
o It will work similar to charades.
o There are several“feelings”written on index cards
and placed in a container.
o Invite students one-at-a-time to participate by
selecting a card at random and using various body
gestures to convey the feelings written on the card
to the class.
o The rest of the class will guess what feeling is being
communicated. Once someone correctly guesses the
feeling, the next person in line will draw a card and
act out what is written on it.
	 Remind students that they are to only act out the
feelings and should not use any words.
o As each feeling is correctly identified, write it in the
left column of the chart and ask the group to list the
behaviors that helped them identify that feeling.These will
be written in the right column.
EXAMPLE
Question/Answer:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
•	 Can you give examples of when someone’s body language
communicated a different message from what he/she actually
said?
•	 When you are trying to send a message, which is more
effective: body language or verbal communication?
•	 Sometimes one person is offended by another person’s body
language.What are some specific suggestions that you can
think of to prevent that from happening?
•	 What are some nonverbal body language messages that are
particularly positive?What about particularly negative?
Closing Summary:
Today, we learned the difference between verbal and nonverbal
communication. It is important to clearly communicate with others to
establish a healthy relationship.When we are not clear with our body
language, we might be sending mixed messages.
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
Feeling Behavior
“disappointed” Shrugging the shoulders
Sighing
Shaking or hanging the head
19
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
HEALTHY SKILLS
LESSON ACTIVITIES:
Instructional Sequence:
1) Explain the importance of assertive refusals to class.
• It’s not only important to ask for what you want, but to also know how to turn others down assertively when they ask for something you
don’t want to give or offer you something you don’t want to receive.
• Saying“no”is not terribly hard. But very few people are good at it.The idea is to not give in, and still not lose your friends.
• There are 3 main steps that you should remember when being assertive in your refusal. Reference the“Assertive Refusal in 3 Steps”handout.
• Model the 3 steps to the class.
• Provide handout to the entire class.
2) Instruct students to form pairs. Give each group a single
scenario card and a“Blank Scenario Role Play”handout.
• Have each group read their scenario in their group.
• Have each group write out their 3 responses on their“Blank Scenario Role Play”handout.When they are confident about their answers,
instruct them to practice their responses with their partners.
• Rotate around the room and observe group progress. Make comments and suggestions as necessary to help students.
• Remind students that the most important step of the refusal is definitively saying“NO!”
3) Group Practice:
• Tell students that you want the class to observe each group practicing refusal skills by having each group demonstrate their scenario to the
class.
• Have the class offer praise or suggestions for each group.
4) Independent Activity:
• If students are enjoying the role-plays and want more practice, create additional scenarios for them to work on.
• If students are ready to move on, you may have them work on a written assignment. (This can also be used as a homework assignment).
• Have students complete the“Dear Abby”scenarios by having them write their 3 responses out. Have them share answers with partner or
finish for homework.
Question/Answer:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
• When you were doing the role-plays with your partner, which step was the hardest to remember or follow-through with?
• How does body language play a role in an assertive refusal?What specific things can you do with your body to strengthen your refusal?
• Even if you follow the 3 steps outlined, what might be some alternative options for a successful refusal?
Closing Summary:
Today, we learned about the importance of saying“no”and practiced making assertive refusals following the 3-step method.
COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!”
21
HEALTHY SKILLS COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!”
ASSERTIVE REFUSAL IN 3 STEPS
The most important step isTHE REFUSAL and making sure that you definitively include the word“NO”!
 
1) SAY SOMETHING CARING
	 That’s flattering, but…
	 It’s nice of you to offer, but…
	 Thanks for asking, but…
	 I’m glad you trust me to ask, but…
	 I love you, but…
	 I care about you, but…
	 I’m sure you have a good reason for asking, but…
2) REFUSE
No.
No, sorry.
No thanks.
No, I’m OK.
No, that’s alright.
3) STATEYOUR DECISION
I’d rather
I’d prefer
I don’t believe in
I’ve decided to
22
HEALTHY SKILLS COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!”
Scenario #1
Your brother asks you for $5, and you don’t want to give it to
him.You’re saving it for a concert ticket.
Scenario #2
Your friend asks you to spend the night, but you want to stay
home.You have to get up early for your soccer game.
Scenario #3
Your boyfriend or girlfriend wants you to go camping with
his or her family.You wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that.
Scenario #4
Your uncle offers to let you drive his truck all by yourself.
You’re too young; you know it’s against the law and don’t feel
right about it.
Scenario #5
Somebody you’ve just met says,“Why don’t you give me your
number? I’ll call you.”You aren’t sure that it’s safe.
Scenario #6
Your boyfriend or girlfriend asks to“come over.”Your folks
aren’t home and it’s against family rules.
Scenario #7
Your friend wants to“borrow”your homework.You don’t
want to get in trouble for cheating. Plus, you worked really
hard on the homework all by yourself!
Scenario #8
Your friend offers to massage your sore feet.They smell and
you would feel embarrassed.
Scenario #9
You are at your friend’s house, and his/her parents are out
to dinner.Your friend offers you a beer, but you don’t feel
comfortable drinking it. But you don’t want to seem like a
baby because everyone else is doing it.
Scenario #10
A man outside the grocery store says,“Hey, I’ll buy you some
wine if you let me keep the change.”You don’t drink.
Scenario #11
Your friend’s dad invites you over for dinner.They’re having
liver.You don’t like liver.
Scenario #12
Your friend wants you to take a few dollars off your mother’s
dresser to go to the movies.You don’t feel right about it.
23
HEALTHY SKILLS COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!”
“Blank Scenario Role-Play”Handout
Say Something Caring:
Refuse:
StateYour Decision:
Say Something Caring:
Refuse:
StateYour Decision:
Say Something Caring:
Refuse:
StateYour Decision:
Say Something Caring:
Refuse:
StateYour Decision:
24
Name: _________________________________		 Date: ________________
HEALTHY SKILLS COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!”
“DEAR ABBY”HANDOUT
Dear Abby,
My best friend smokes cigarettes. So far he hasn’t offered me any, but what if he does? I’ve been
avoiding hanging out with him because I’m afraid he might ask me to smoke, but I don’t want to
lose him as a friend.What should I say to him?
- Gum Breath
Dear Abby,
Am I crazy? One of my friends shoplifts all the time. I don’t.Well this person offered to give me a
$100 watch. It must be stolen. I said I’d think about it.What should I do?
-Timeless
25
Name: _________________________________		 Date: ________________
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
HEALTHY SKILLS CHANGING SOCIAL NORMS
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Explain the difference between a myth and reality.
2) Explain to students the following:
• It usually seems that many young people are making bad choices, but the truth is that many of you share the same views about making good
decisions.
• But when we assume incorrectly about things going on around us, we might feel pressured to make poor decisions for ourselves.
• When we make a mistake about what we think is going on around us (the myth that most kids are smoking or having sex, for example), it can
make it hard to see or believe what’s really going on (most kids do not smoke or are not having sex in reality).
o If Megan thinks her friends are smoking, she might feel pressured into smoking to fit in.
o If Megan knows that her friends are not smoking, she will stick to her decision not to smoke.
3) Explain to students that in the next activity, they will evaluate how knowing what’s really going on with their friends and
classmates can help them make good, informed decisions.
• Divide participants up into 4 groups. Each group will work on one of the numbered cases within the“WhatWill He/She Do”handout.
• Have students discuss what they think the character in the scenario should do and try to come to an agreement within their group.
• Each group will then present their individual scenario to the class and give a brief report on what they discussed.
4) Review each case with students.
• Use the following questions to elicit a better discussion with your students if they seem to be struggling.
o Jasmine:
 Even though Jasmine says she wants to wait until she gets married, why might she feel pressure to have sex?
 If you personally believe it is best to wait, but you think everyone else thinks it’s okay to do it now, how might that affect your
decision to have sex?
o Deisha:
	 Why do you think Deisha will stick to her decision to wait despite her fears about Jay breaking up with her?
	 How might knowing that your friends are making good decisions help you to stick to your own choices?
o Victor:
	 Even though Nikki isVictor’s friend, why might he feel pressure to join in?
	 If you personally felt that you wanted sexual harassment to stop, but you think that everyone else thinks it’s funny, how might
that affect whether or not you make sexual comments?
o Carlos:
	 Why do you think Carlos will stick to his decision not to make sexual comments even though Derek is his friend?
	 How will knowing the reality that most kids do not think sexual harassment is funny help you to stop making sexual comments
to a classmate?
Closing Summary:
Today, we learned that when you know the truth about what your friends are doing and thinking, you are more likely to uphold your own values
and make good decisions.
27
HEALTHY SKILLS CHANGING SOCIAL NORMS
WhatWill He/She Do?
1) Jasmine has been seeing Alberto for almost a year. She has always said she was going to wait until she got married before
having sex. She has heard rumors that other girls her age had sex.
What do you think Jasmine will do?Why?
2) Deisha has been seeing Jay for almost a year. She’s thinking about having sex with him because she is afraid he will break up
with her if she doesn’t. Her girlfriends tell her they all felt the same way, but none of their boyfriends broke up with them.
What do you think Deisha will do?Why?
 
3) Alfonso makes a rude comment about Nikki’s skirt in front of the class.Victor is Nikki’s friend. Most of the kids in the class are
laughing and trying to getVictor to join in.
What do you thinkVictor will do?Why?
4) Derek makes a rude comment about Janet’s shirt in front of the class. Carlos is Derek’s friend. Carols feels pressure to make a
comment, but knows that the other kids, despite their laughter, are hoping it never happens to them.
What do you think Carlos will do in this situation?Why?
28
Name: _________________________________		 Date: ________________
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
HEALTHY SKILLS SEX INTHE MEDIA
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Have students take initial“Sex andTV Quiz.”
2)WHOLE CLASS ACTIVITY: Reaction to the“Sex andTV Quiz”
• Invite students to share their answers to the Icebreaker and how they think those relate to the quiz.
• Share with the class the answers to the“Sex andTV Quiz.”
• The following are suggested questions you may use to facilitate conversation regarding the“Sex andTV Quiz”:
o What kinds of sexual messages do we receive fromTV shows and commercials?
o From theTV Smarts Quiz, we learned that approximately 76% of Americans believe thatTV contributes to teen pregnancy.Why do you
think that is?
o Do you believe that television contributes to teen pregnancy for some youth?
o How do you feel when you see sexual behavior on television?
3) GROUP ACTIVITY: Brainstorming Possible Solutions
• Use Flipchart paper to brainstorm possible solutions to the following two questions in the box below.
• Divide the class in half and assign each group one of the questions below.
• Allow students time to work in their groups and develop possible solutions.
• Have students write their answers on the flipchart paper.
• Have one student from each group present their ideas.
• Discuss similarities between the two questions and see if there are any overlapping solutions between the two lists.
Closing Summary:
Television is a major source of information for youth today and often can contribute both positively and negatively to your opinions and mindsets of
certain topics. Recall some of the strategies that we listed in class today about how to beTV smart when watching your favorite show. Continue to
remind yourself that television is not real, but your life is. Do not be negatively influenced by fictional characters and relationships that do not exist.
o What can producers ofTV shows do differently to help decrease teen pregnancy or at least avoid contributing to
teen pregnancy?
o What can you and your friends do so you are not negatively influenced byTV’s sexual messages?
30
HEALTHY SKILLS SEX INTHE MEDIA
Sex andTV Quiz
1.	 In 1950, only 10% of homes in the U.S. had aTV.What percent of homes now have at least oneTV?
	a. 85%			b. 95%			c. 99%
2.	 What percent of youth haveTVs in their bedrooms?
	a. 31%			b. 54%			c. 75%
3.	 Youth who watchTV four or more hours a day are more likely to believe advertising claims.
	True			False
4.	 Youth see about	 TV commercials a year.
	a. 700			b. 9,000			c. 50,000
5.	 How manyTV shows include sexual content (talking about sex, kissing, intimate touching, sexual intercourse implied or depicted)?
	 a. one quarter (1/4)	 b. two thirds (2/3)		 c. three quarters (3/4)
6.	 Sexual intercourse is depicted or strongly implied in one out of __________ shows onTV.
	a. 10			b. 20			c. 30
7.	 What percent of shows with sexual content include references to safer sex (i.e. using condoms or abstinence) or the possible risks or
	 responsibilities of sex (i.e. unplanned pregnancy, STIs, etc.)?
	a. 10%			b. 20%			c. 30%
8.	 Of the programs that depict teen characters in sexual situations, how many have no reference to the risks and responsibilities of sex?
	a. 41%			b. 68%			c. 92%
9.	 Which type of show makes the least reference to safer sex and risks or responsibilities?
	a. sitcoms			b. dramas			c. talk shows
10.	 What percent of Americans believeTV contributes to teen pregnancy?
	a. 28%			b. 52%			c. 76%
11.	 Youth receive information about sex from peers, parents, school and the media. How much of their information and ideas about sex come
	 fromTV?
	a. 30%			b. 45%			c. 60%
Reprinted from ReCAPP — ETR Associates’Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention www.etr.org/recapp	Copyright©2004 ETR
Associates
31
Name: _________________________________		 Date: ________________
HEALTHY SKILLS SEX INTHE MEDIA
Answer Sheet
Sex andTV Quiz
1.	 In 1950, only 10% of homes in the U.S. had aTV.What percent of homes now have at least oneTV?
	 c. 99% 1
2.	 What percent of youth haveTVs in their bedrooms?
	 b. 54% 1
3.	 Youth who watchTV four or more hours a day are more likely to believe advertising claims.
	True 1
4.	 Youth see aboutTV commercials a year.
	 c. 50,000 1
5.	 How manyTV shows include sexual content (talking about sex, kissing, intimate touching, sexual intercourse implied or depicted)?
	 b. two thirds (2/3) 2
6.	 Sexual intercourse is depicted or strongly implied in one out of _________ shows onTV.
	 a.10 2
7.	 What percent of shows with sexual content include references to safer sex (i.e. using condoms or abstinence) or the possible risks or 	
	 responsibilities of sex (i.e. unplanned pregnancy, STIs, etc.)?
	 a. 10% 2
8.	 Of the programs that depict teen characters in sexual situations, how many have no reference to the risks and responsibilities of sex?
	 b. 68%2
9.	 Which type of show makes the least reference to safer sex and risks or responsibilities?
	 a. sitcoms 2
10.	 What percent of Americans believeTV contributes to teen pregnancy?
	 c. 76% 2
11.	 Youth receive information about sex from peers, parents, school and the media. How much of their information and ideas about sex come 		
	 fromTV?
	 c. 60% 2
1 Rosen E.Y., Quesada A.P., and Lockwood Summers S. (1998). Changing theWorldThrough Media Education: A Media Literacy Curriculum by the
JustThink Foundation. Fulrum Publishing.
2 Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. (2001). Sex onTV2: A Biennial Report of the Kaiser Family Found
32
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IDENTIFYING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Discuss icebreaker.
• Ask students to stand next to the sign of their #1 Quality.
• Have students share reasoning with others in the group about their written explanation.
• Facilitate classroom discussion with debrief questions.
• Teacher should look for why students chose top-scoring items and what those qualities would look like in a healthy relationship.
2) Pass out“Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships”handout.
• Distribute handouts to students. (Additional blank“Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships”copies can be given to students to help them observe
their own relationships.)
• Ask them to review/reflect on each of the qualities.Tell them they will be identifying these behaviors in a role-play activity.
• Select students to read the role-play scenarios.The audience will determine if scenarios are healthy or unhealthy by making observations and
denoting these on their checklist.
• Facilitate classroom discussion with debrief questions following each role-play.
	 MAIN POINTSTO EMPHASIZETO CLASS:
		 Mark and Erica: Even though Mark exhibits qualities from the healthy relationship list (trust and love), his actions are 		
	 unacceptable, and Erica does not deserve to be treated this way. It would be unhealthy for her to remain in this relationship.
		 Blake and Kelly: Blake and Kelly share a supportive, honest, and trusting relationship. Although they have different interests, 		
they value the importance of each other’s individual activities.With effective communication, they were able to come
to a compromise that both of them were happy with.
Closing Summary:
Today, we identified several important qualities for a healthy relationship. As a class, you agreed that (list the top qualities you discussed with
your students) were the most important for you in a relationship.You also observed several role-plays and learned how to identify the differences
between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
• Why did you all choose honesty?
• In what ways can you show your dating partner that you are honest?
• What are some dishonest things a boyfriend or girlfriend might do?
• Do you think this is a healthy or an unhealthy relationship?
• Which behaviors did our characters exhibit?
• Is it possible for a relationship to exhibit both healthy and unhealthy behaviors?
34
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IDENTIFYING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships – Observation Checklist
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
In a healthy relationship, people… Observer’s Checklist
Mark & Erica Blake & Kelly
Treat their partner with respect
Support and encourage each other
Treat each other as equals
Are honest
Earn their partner’s trust
Have shared interests
Also have separate interests and identities
Try hard to have honest and clear communication
Enjoy being with each other
Never hurt their partner physically or sexually
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
In an unhealthy relationship, people… Observer’s Checklist
Mark & Erica Blake & Kelly
Treat their partner disrespectfully
Frequently argue or fight
Have no shared interests
Have no separate interests or friends
Cheat on their partner
Don’t care about their partner’s wants or feelings
Don’t enjoy spending time together
Might throw or break things during an argument
Might put the other person down or try to control them
Are at times overly jealous of their partner
Vs.
35
Name: _____________________________________ Date: _________________
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IDENTIFYING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Narrator: Mark and Erica have been going out for about 6 months. Mark feels like he is really in love with Erica.
Mark: “Erica, I love you.You are the prettiest girl I have ever dated, and you are so smart.”
Erica: “Aww, that’s so sweet of you Mark. I really like you too.”
Narrator: But, Mark feels nervous that he might lose her to another guy, since she is so pretty and smart. He doesn’t think she would ever cheat on
him, but he does see her talking with other guys sometimes.
Mark:“I know you would never cheat on me, but it makes me upset when you talk to other guys.”
Erica: “I’m just talking to them.You know I wouldn’t cheat on you.”
Mark:“But I don’t like it. Are you trying to make me mad?”
Erica:“Aw, come on Mark. I think you’re just being jealous.”
Mark:“No, I’m not.You’re my girl, so I only want you talking to me.”
Narrator: Erica got upset with him, and they got in a huge fight. As they were arguing, Mark felt so mad that he grabbed her by the arms to get
her to listen to him and then threw his cell phone across the room. Mark immediately apologized.
Mark:“I’m really sorry, Erica! I didn’t mean to do that; it was just an accident. I promise it won’t ever happen again.”
Scenario #1:	MARK & ERICA
Scenario #2:	BLAKE & KELLY
Narrator: Blake and Kelly have also been dating for about 6 months. Blake just made the varsity soccer team, after putting in many hours of
practice throughout the entire summer. He excitedly calls his girlfriend Kelly to tell her the news and to tell her all about the team.
Blake: “Hi, Kelly. I have some exciting news. I just made the varsity soccer team!”
Kelly: “Wow, that’s awesome, Blake! I know how much you have been practicing, so I am so excited for you.”
Blake: “Thanks for listening to me. It means a lot, especially because I know you don’t really like soccer that much.”
Narrator: Blake invites Kelly to his first game, but Kelly tells him that she can’t come because she has a Student Council meeting that night. Blake
is disappointed and wishes Kelly would just forget about her meeting and come to the game anyway. But he knows that Student Council is just as
important to her as soccer is to him.
Blake:“It would really mean a lot to me if you came to the game.”
Kelly: “I want to see you play. My meeting shouldn’t last that long. I should be able to come to the second half once my meeting is over.”
36
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
LESSON ACTIVITIES:
Instructional Sequence:
1) Explain to students that some of the most damaging stereotypes are related to gender. Brainstorm with students these
stereotypes that they have heard about males and females. Refer to the comprehensive list of stereotypes below that you
should look for in students’responses.
GENDER ROLES & RELATIONSHIPS
Males:
Stereotypical Beliefs About Masculinity
Females:
Stereotypical Beliefs About Femininity
Be in control and appear unemotional Be emotionally sensitive and vulnerable
Be the dominant partner in a relationship Submit to the wishes and demands of a sexual partner
Exert pressure or force on their sexual partners Have children
Become sexually active early and have many partners Meet the needs of others before their own
Work in careers that are mechanical or analytical Choose careers in the“helping”professions
Assume responsibility as the“breadwinner”of the family Be physically attractive
Achieve status by earning lots of money Tolerate sexually harassing behavior without complaint
Take risks to prove their manhood Be nurturing and take care of the household
Resolve conflicts with violence Be docile
Avoid traditionally“female”work in the arts or human services Avoid nontraditional careers in math or the sciences
2) Explain to students that stereotypes about gender roles can often affect our actions and relationships with others.The next
activity will help explore situations where gender roles and stereotypes could affect goals, decisions, and relationships for
teens.
3) Divide students into 7 small groups and distribute a different Gender Role Case Study to each group.
• Students should examine their case study and analyze how stereotypical beliefs affect how we might initially respond to these situations.
• For each scenario, students should address the following questions (write on board for class):
o Which stereotypical belief does the scenario address?
o How do you/your group personally feel about the situation?
o Do you agree with the traditional/contemporary response?
o What advice would you give to the people involved in the situation?
Question/Answer:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
• Is it easy or hard to look at male and female roles in a nontraditional way?
• How do men or women accept changes in gender roles?Why?
• What are some of the ways changing gender roles have affected relationships between men and women (a) in social settings, (b) in families,
and (c) in the workplace?
• Do you think your parents would reach the same or different solutions?
• Which case study did you find to be the most difficult?Why?
• If you could make one change in men’s gender roles, what would it be? In women’s gender roles?
Closing Summary:
Stereotypes often contribute negatively to gender roles. Men and women often feel that they have to act a certain way because society has defined
certain expectations for us based on our gender. Unfortunately, this can hinder the authenticity of our relationships and cause miscommunications.
It is important for us to be open about behaviors typically assigned to men and women and be open about how we can be flexible in our
relationships.
40
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS GENDER ROLES & RELATIONSHIPS
Gender Role Case Studies
Gender Role Case Study #1
Leo is about to ask Gloria out for the first time when she walks over to him and says,“Leo, there’s a new movie in town, and I really want to see it. I
was hoping you would go with me. Are you busy Saturday night?”Leo has no plans, and he was hoping to take Gloria to the movie, but he wants to
do the asking. He’s thinking he’ll say he’s busy.What should he do?
Gender Role Case Study #2
Charlene has been offered a special grant to apprentice with a master plumber after graduation. She’s excited and she rushes to tell Lloyd.They’ve
been planning to get married in the fall, and this way, she’ll be able to start earning some good money. Lloyd is very quiet after Charlene tells him,
then finally says,“I don’t think I could marry a plumber Charlene.You’re going to have to make a choice.”What should she do?
Gender Role Case Study #3
Sam wants to buy a doll for his nephew’s birthday but his buddy Jay says,“No way!”Sam explains that dolls help teach little boys to take care of
someone else and be loving, but Jay argues that they just teach boys to be sissies. Sam is concerned about what Jay might say to their friends if he
buys a doll for his nephew.What should Sam do?
Gender Role Case Study #4
Susan and Fred have been going out for months, and things have been good. Her parents approve of him and the word is out at school that she is
his girl. But lately Fred has been putting a lot of pressure on Susan to fool around more than she wants to.When she says“no,”he says that it’s her
job as a woman to please him.What can she say to him?
41
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE?
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) As a whole class, go through the answers to the“Adult-Teen Relationships:What AreThe Facts?”true or false quiz.
• Explain to students that incorrect assumptions about teenage relationships have made it difficult for our nation to reduce the number of
teenage pregnancies.
o Many people assume that teen pregnancies are the result of relationships between partners close in age when many adult men are the
fathers of teen births.
o This lesson evaluates the dangers of an adult-teen relationship.You will be asked to evaluate these relationships and give advice about
them.
2) Draw on the board/flipchart paper a continuum of OK -------------to-------------NOT OKAY.
• Ask students to think about a sexual relationship between a high school sophomore and a 22-year-old.
o How do you feel about the fact that the adult is 7 years older than his/her teen partner? Have students place an‘X’on their own
continuum to describe their feelings toward this relationship.
o Invite students to share their answers to this question. Make notes on the continuum as needed to facilitate classroom discussion.
3) Divide the students into 4 groups and give each group a piece of the prepared flipchart paper with one of the statements
written out. Instruct each group to list all the reasons they can think of in response to the statement on their sheet.
• After ten minutes, invite each group to post their response sheets on the wall and share their ideas with the rest of the class.
• Facilitate a classroom discussion based on what types of answers students developed. Follow-up their answers with the discussion questions
listed below.
Question/Answer:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
•	 What observations can you make from viewing these lists?
•	 Do you agree with adults who are concerned about these relationships? Explain.
•	 What is your advice to older men/women?To teens?
4) After you feel satisfied with the discussion, distribute the handouts“Unhappy Girl”to half the class and the“Advice to my
Friend’s Friend”handout to the other half.
• Instruct students to write an advice column for the scenarios listed on the handout.
• You may collect these handouts either at the end of class, or assign them for homework.They should provide your students extra practice
analyzing situations involving adult-teen relationships.
Closing Summary:
Today, we examined the issue of relationships between teens and older romantic partners.We discussed the reasons for why teens might find
adults more attractive than their peers.We also looked at why older men/women might be interested in younger partners and how differences in
age can contribute to an unhealthy relationship.
44
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE?
Name: __________________________________ Date: ___________________
Worksheet:
Adult-Teen Relationships:What are the Facts?
Directions: Mark each statement belowT forTrue or F for False.
______ 1.The majority of sexually active teenagers have sexual intercourse with partners close to their own age.
______ 2. Many babies born to 15-year-old teens are fathered by males 20 or older.
______ 3.The younger a girl is when she first has sexual intercourse, the more likely it is that she does not agree to it, and does not want to do it.
______ 4.The“age of consent”to sexual intercourse is the same in every state.
______ 5.The closer in age a teen girl and her sexual partner are, the more likely she is to use contraception the first time she has sexual
intercourse.
______ 6. A teen girl is less likely to be exposed to a sexually transmitted infection (like HIV/AIDS) by a partner 3 or more years older than by a
partner closer to her own age.
______ 7.The younger a teen mother is, the greater the age gap is likely to be between her and her baby’s father.
______ 8. Half of fathers aged 20 or older whose infants are born to 14- to 17-year-old girls have completed fewer years of school than is
expected for their age.
______ 9. In our state, teenagers cannot legally consent or agree to sexual intercourse until they reach 16 years of age.
______ 10. In our state, it is against the law for a person 15 years old to have sexual intercourse with a person 18 years old (or: 3 or more years
older) even if the younger person consents to it.
Reprinted from: Montfort, S., Brick, P. (2000). Unequal Partners:Teaching about Power and Consent in Adult-Teen and Other Relationships, 2nd ed.
Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, Inc., 33-40.
Reprinted from ReCAPP — ETR Associates’Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention
http://www.etr.org/recapp/ Copyright ©2004 ETR Associates
45
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE?
Worksheet:
Adult-Teen Relationships:What are the Facts?
Directions: Mark each statement belowT forTrue or F for False.
T 1.The majority of teenagers have sexual intercourse with partners close to their own age.
T 2. Many babies born to 15-year-old teens are fathered by males 20 or older.
T 3.The younger a girl is when she first has sexual intercourse, the more likely it is that she does not agree to it, and does not want to do it.
F 4.The“age of consent”to sexual intercourse is the same in every state.
T 5.The closer in age a teen girl and her sexual partner are, the more likely she is to use contraception the first time she has sexual intercourse.
F 6. A teen girl is less likely to be exposed to a sexually transmitted infection (like HIV/AIDS) by a partner 3 or more years older than by a partner
closer to her own age.
T 7.The younger a teen mother is, the greater the age gap is likely to be between her and her baby’s father.
T 8. Half of fathers aged 20 or older whose infants are born to 14- to 17-year-old girls have completed fewer years of school than is expected for
their age.
T 9. In our state, teenagers cannot legally consent or agree to sexual intercourse until they reach 16 years of age.
T 10. In our state, it is against the law for a person 15 years old to have sexual intercourse with a person 18 years old (Or: 3, or more years
older) even if the younger person consents to it.
Sources: Abma, J. (1998);The Alan Guttmacher Institute (1994); Darroch, J. (1999); Donovan, P. (1997); Kirby, D. (1996); Lindberg, L. (1997); Males,
M. (1993, 1996); Miller, K. (1997); State Code of Criminal Justice;Taylor, D. (1997); Zierler, et. al. (1991).
Reprinted from: Montfort, S., Brick, P. (2000). Unequal Partners:Teaching about Power and Consent in Adult-Teen and Other Relationships, 2nd ed.
Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, Inc., 33-40.
Reprinted from ReCAPP — ETR Associates’Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention
http://www.etr.org/recapp/ Copyright ©2004 ETR Associates
46
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE?
What’sYour Advice to“Unhappy Girl?”
Dear Abby,
I’m 14 and I’m going out with a 21-year-old man. I think he loves me, and I know I really love him. He treats me really nice. But my
parents don’t want me to go out with him – just because he’s older!They want me to stop seeing him.What should I do?
Unhappy Girl
Dear Unhappy Girl,
47
Name: _______________________________________ Date: _______________
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE?
What’sYour Advice to“My Friend’s Friend?”
Dear Abby,
My roommate is dating a 16-year-old boy. It makes me very uncomfortable because she’s 21. I think it may be illegal for an adult
to have intercourse with someone under 18. Can she be arrested? Anyway, I don’t know what she sees in such a young kid. Do you
think there’s something wrong with her? Should I do anything about this?
My Friend’s Friend
Dear My Friend’s Friend,
48
Name: _______________________________________ Date: _______________
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Discuss the difficulties of the icebreaker. Facilitate a classroom discussion with the following questions.
• What was difficult about this activity?
• For students who were successful at the Icebreaker activity, what tactics or skills did you use to make it easier for you and your partner?
• How do you think this activity relates to communication?
2) GROUP ACTIVITY:
• Explain to students that they will work in groups to evaluate a scenario that many students will face in their relationships.
• Split classroom into two separate groups.
• Explain to students that it will be their job to analyze the scenario and determine the position of each character in the story.
o There are two versions of the scenario. Give each group a different version. Instruct groups to work separately and only to share their
answers when directed.
3) CLASSROOM DISCUSSION:
• Once students have had the opportunity to work through the scenarios, go over them as a class.
• Specifically, address the slight differences between the scenarios.
• Students should be aware that males are not the only ones that pressure their partners to have sex. Females can also be the aggressor in the
relationship.You might ask students:
o “How did you feel when you read the scenario whereTina was pressuring Justin to have sex?”
o “What do you think this might say about gender roles and stereotypes in our society?”
Question/Answer:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
• How is Justin andTina’s story like real life?
• What“reasons to wait”might have the most impact on your friends and peers?
• Looking at the reasons we have developed, what are the strongest reasons for you to wait to have sex when you are in a relationship.
o NOTE:This final question can be used to personalize the lesson for the individual student.You may assign this as an independent home
work activity or a journal assignment if you feel students are uncomfortable to share.
Closing Summary:
Effective communication is necessary in any relationship.Today, we identified how this can play a key role in making important decisions about sex.
POSTPONING SEXUAL ACTIVITY
Further QuestionsTo Consider:
• Am I being clear with what I am saying?
• Am I getting my point across?
• Does my partner understand what I am saying? How is he/she reacting to the situation?
50
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS POSTPONING SEXUAL ACTIVITY
Postponing Sexual Activity Scenario Handout
Scenario A:
QuestionsTo DiscussWithinYour Group:
1)What does Justin want to do?
2)What doesTina want to do?
3) In your opinion, what do you think Justin andTina will do in this situation?
Justin andTina have been seeing each other for seven months.Tina’s a seventh grader, and Justin is in eighth grade. Last Saturday night
after a movie, things went pretty far.Tina got scared and told Justin to stop. Justin said that he lovedTina a lot and wanted to go all the
way with her.Tina said she wanted to think about things first and asked to talk about whether or not to have sex later.What should Justin
andTina do?
51
Name: _______________________________________ Date: _______________
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION INITIATING CONVERSATION WITH A PARENT/GUARDIAN
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Pose initial question to students:
• Raise your hand if you feel comfortable going to your parent(s)/guardian(s) for help when you have a problem.
• Keep your hand raised if you feel comfortable talking to your parent(s)/guardian(s) about dating and relationships.
• Finally, keep your hand raised if you have ever talked to your parent(s)/guardian(s) about dating or sex before.
*You might need to modify exact word choice depending on students’responses.
2) Explain to students that effective communication with parents creates safe and strong family relationships. Even though
talking about dating, puberty, and sex can be awkward and uncomfortable, our parent(s)/guardian(s) can be a valuable
resource.
3) Initial Exercise:
• Have students brainstorm reasons why they might find it difficult to talk to their parent(s)/guardian(s) about sex. Record their responses on
flipchart paper.
• Have students brainstorm possible solutions for their answers to the previous exercise. Record these on a second piece of flipchart paper.
4) Pass out the“Getting the Conversation Started”handout.
• Students will practice different phrases/techniques for having uncomfortable conversations with their parent(s)/guardian(s).
• Have students work in pairs and use handout to role-play different scenarios.
• Observe students carrying out role-plays. Move around the room and offer suggestions as needed to help facilitate more effective
conversations.
5) Pass out the“Back in the Day Homework Assignment”handout.
• Instruct students that, for this assignment, they are to interview their parent(s)/guardian(s) about their experiences with sex education and
relationships when they were teenagers.
Closing Summary:
Emphasize the importance of effective communication with a parent/guardian or trusted adult. Remind students to use their tips worksheet
as a reference when initiating a conversation.
Possible answers might be:
o It’s embarrassing.
o They might think you are having sex.
o They will get mad at you.
o They are too busy to have a conversation.
o You don’t want them to know you are having sex (if you are).
Possible solutions may include:
o Write your questions, feelings, or desire to talk in a letter instead of asking in person
o Use something you saw onTV or in a movie as a starting point
o Remind them that you are just asking questions – you want to be informed.
o Wait for a time when they are calm and not busy.
o Tell them ahead of time that you need some time to talk about something important.
54
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION INITIATING CONVERSATION WITH A PARENT/GUARDIAN
Getting the Conversation Started Handout
ThingsYou Might Do:
• Find a time when your parent(s)/guardian(s) is/are not distracted or busy. It might be helpful to tell them ahead of time that you want to
have a conversation.
SUGGESTION: Make a date, set a time, and put it on your calendar.
• Think about an activity that you really enjoy doing with your parent(s)/guardian(s). Participating in a fun activity can relieve some of the
anxiety and stress of having an uncomfortable conversation.
SUGGESTION: cooking, watching a movie, playing a game, exercising, or shopping.
• Give your parent(s)/guardian(s) the handout“Back in the Day”, and have them complete it.When they are finished, you can discuss their
answers and use them as a starting point for your own discussion.
PhrasesYou Might Use:
• “Hey Dad, I would like more information about…”
• “Mom, can you tell me more about…”
• “I have some questions I’d like to ask you about sex. It doesn’t mean I’m having sex; I just want to talk to you about it.”
• “I saw this scene in a movie, and I was wondering what you thought of it.”
• “We’ve been talking about __________ in school, and I was just wondering how you feel about this.”
• “Hey Grandma, I love that we can talk about anything. Do you think you could answer some of my questions about sex?”
Just Remember:
• Be honest. Being completely open will help you develop trust and have confidence in asking your parent(s)/guardian(s) questions in the
future.
• Start out with some of your easier questions to get conversation flowing, and then ask your harder questions.
• It’s okay to feel nervous.Your parent(s)/guardian(s) are probably nervous, too!
• Be a good listener, too.You probably have a lot of questions, but remember to listen to your parent(s)’/guardian(s)’answers.
• Don’t be discouraged if your first conversation doesn’t go perfectly. Effective communication is not a science, and developing comfort and
ease when talking about sex takes time. Keep trying!
• If your parent(s)/guardian(s) starts to lecture or yell, gently remind them that you’re just asking questions.
 
55
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION INITIATING CONVERSATION WITH A PARENT/GUARDIAN
Back in the Day Homework Assignment
Directions: For this assignment, you will be interviewing your parent(s)/guardian(s) about their experiences with sex education and relationships
when they were your age. Ask your parent(s)/guardian(s) each question, and then record their responses in the space provided.
1) What did you do in your free time when you were my age?
2) What did you want to become when you grew up?
3) What was your relationship like with your parent(s)/guardian(s)?
4) What did your parent(s)/guardian(s) teach you about puberty and body changes?
5) Did you have sex education or family life education in school?
6) How old were you when you fell in love?
7) What age do you think is the right age to have sex?
8) At what age do you think it would be best for me to get married? Have kids?
9) What do you want me to know about men/women?
Parent/Guardian’s Signature: ___________________________________ Date: ________________ 56
Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
QUESTION/ANSWER:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
• Which behaviors were easiest to assign to a particular age?Which
were the hardest?Why do you think this was so?
• Why do you think there were such differences in the ages listed
next to some behaviors?
• How would you react if your parent(s)/guardian(s) listed a
different age from one you gave?
• Does gender affect the age you think is appropriate for certain
behaviors?
4) Pass out the“Talking About Sexuality andValues – Parent/
Guardian Copy”handout to each student.
• Instruct students to take handout home to his/her parent.
• Students should save their answers from class (the teen copy
handout).
• Parents should complete this handout separately from their child.
• When finished, parent(s)/guardian(s) and child should discuss
their answers and responses to the questions.
CLOSING SUMMARY:
Today, we discussed many of our own family values. Having a clear idea
of our personal values will help us to make good choices throughout
our lives. Oftentimes, our values are closely aligned with our parent(s)’/
guardian(s)’values because we typically model our behavior after them.
Continue this conversation about age-appropriate behavior at home
with your parent(s)/guardian(s) to see how closely your values align
with theirs.
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION
LESSON ACTIVITIES:
Instructional Sequence:
1) Introduce the concept of values and mention the following
points:
• Values are learned, first from parent(s)/guardian(s), and then
from others such as peers and friends.
• Not everyone has the same values.
• Adolescents will often challenge, question, or test the limits of the
values that they have learned from their family.
2) Assemble small groups of 4-5 students, and instruct them to
make a list of values they may already have.
• For example, your parent(s)/guardian(s) have taught you that it’s
unacceptable to cheat on a test, to be dishonest, or to take things
that are not yours.
• Have small groups share their lists with the rest of the class.
Comment on similarities and differences between the lists.
3) Pass out“Talking About Sexuality andValues –Teen Copy”
handout to each student.
• Have students estimate the age at which they feel each listed
behavior is age-appropriate and answer the reflection questions.
• Have students share with the rest of the class the ages which they
deem appropriate for certain activities.
TALKING ABOUT SEXUALITY &VALUES
*Modification option: If students are apprehensive
about sharing certain information, you can have them
anonymously complete the worksheet.Then, collect
the handouts and redistribute randomly to classmates.
Students volunteer saying answers written on their
sheets.
58
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION TALKING ABOUT SEXUALITY &VALUES
Talking About Sexuality andValues –TEEN COPY
Directions:Completethisformbywritingtheageatwhichyouwouldbecomfortableengaginginthelistedbehavior.Youwilldiscussyourresponses
with the class, and later your parent(s)/guardian(s).
REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
Which behaviors were the easiest to assign an age to?
Which behaviors were the hardest to assign an age to?
When do you believe it is okay to…
BEHAVIOR AGE
Hold hands
Kiss on the lips
French kiss
Go out in a group of friends
Date
Undress in front of a boyfriend/girlfriend
Have sexual intercourse
Live with someone without being married
Marriage
59
Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION TALKING ABOUT SEXUALITY &VALUES
Talking About Sexuality andValues – PARENT/GUARDIAN COPY
Directions:Completethisformbywritingtheageatwhichyouwouldbecomfortableifyourpreteenorteenengagedtheactivity.Yourpreteen/teen
has already filled in the ages at which he/she think the behavior is appropriate in class. Share and discuss your responses.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
Which behaviors were the easiest to agree on?
Which behaviors were the hardest to agree on?
By doing this activity, what have you learned about your teenager?
When do you believe it is okay to…
BEHAVIOR AGE
Hold hands
Kiss on the lips
French kiss
Go out in a group of friends
Date
Undress in front of a boyfriend/girlfriend
Have sexual intercourse
Live with someone without being married
Marriage
Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________
60
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION RESPONDINGTOYOUR ADOLESCENT
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Explain to students that often times teenagers experience many confusing emotions and feelings as they mature into
adulthood.This is an indication of them growing up and transitioning from childhood into responsible young adults.
2) Say to students that many common teen behaviors, such as feelings of angst, sexual desires, or disobedience, can be sources
of confusion and frustration for many parent(s)/guardian(s). Furthermore, the way that parent(s)/guardian(s)s respond to these
situations can negatively impact your parent-child relationship and further alienate you from the elders in your life.
3) Distribute the“Evaluating Reasonable Adolescent Behavior”handout.
• Explain to students that both their behavior and parent(s)’/guardian(s)’reactions will affect parent-child connectedness (PCC).
• Inform students that they will be analyzing three different situations as a class.
o Invite one student to read the first situation.
o Paraphrase the situation, and discuss the following questions as a class.
 Do you think the adolescent’s behavior is reasonable?
 Do you agree or disagree with his parents’response?
 How do you think the parents’response to the situation will affect the closeness between parent and teenager?
What are some positive, realistic ways that the parents could have responded differently?
 Conversely, how could the teenager have reacted differently?
o Invite another student to read the second situation. Paraphrase the situation, and go through the above questions again.
o Tell students that they have now completed two situations as a class. Instruct them to individually read the third situation. Have
students find a partner and answer the same questions as you previously modeled for them. Project questions onto the board or write
them on flipchart paper to remind students what they should be discussing with their partner.
4) Explain to students that all parent(s)/guardian(s) want the best for their children and are doing the best they can with what
they currently know and understand about their children.
• Keeping the conversation open with your parent(s)/guardian(s) will strengthen your relationship and allow them to gain a better
understanding of you as a teenager.
• Understand that your parent(s)/guardian(s) have difficult decisions to make as well. Be mindful of their perspectives.When you disagree with
your parent(s)/guardian(s), invite them to have an honest conversation about the decisions they make that involve you.
Question/Answer:
Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class.
• What are the most important things you have learned today?
• What are your goals for your relationships with your parent(s)/guardian(s)?
• What specific things are you going to do to respond better to your parent(s)’/guardian(s)’questions and behavior?
• What possible suggestions could you make to your parent(s)/guardian(s) for them to respond to your behavior in a more understanding way?
Closing Summary:
Today, we looked at adolescent behavior and differentiated between“normal”adolescent behavior and irrational teenager decisions.We also
examined how the different ways that parent(s)/guardian(s) react to situations can negatively affect our relationships with our elders. It can cause
teenagers to be less likely to share information with their parents and likewise influence greater rebellious behavior.
62
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION RESPONDINGTOYOUR ADOLESCENT
EVALUATING REASONABLE ADOLESCENT BEHAVIOR:
Situation 1:Tyree and his Parents
Tyree never likes to go to bed when he’s supposed to. He’s now 15 and his parents have told him that he’s got to be in bed by 11:00 pm.Tyree thinks
this rule is ridiculous! He says that a lot of the goodTV shows are just coming on at 11:00 pm.Tyree used to oversleep sometimes, but in the last
three months he has gotten up on time and his last report card was very good. He did this to prove that he’s responsible. He asked his parents if he
could just go to sleep when he gets tired. He said he would take responsibility for getting up on time and keeping his grades up.They told him that
they would not be responsible parents if they let him stay up after 11:00 pm on school nights. However, they told him he could stay up as late as he
wanted on Friday and Saturday night.
Situation 2:Tamika and her Grandmother
Tamika is 14. She has lived with her grandmother since she was five years old. Her grandmother is very strict and expectsTamika to follow her rules.
They argue a lot about this.Tamika’s grandmother has told her that she is not to walk down to the corner store.Today, whenTamika’s grandmother
got home from running errands,Tamika was nowhere to be found.Tamika came home a half an hour later with a bag of chips and a soda from the
corner store. Her grandmother grounded her for a week and fussed the entire evening.
Situation 3: Dad’s Law
Robert will be 13 years old in a few months. His dad has always been very concerned about the way Robert dresses – especially for school. He
has never bought Robert any baggy clothes and insists that he keep his shirts tucked in his pants neatly. Robert hates the way his dad makes him
dress because the other kids are always teasing him. So when he gets to school, Robert pulls his shirt out. His dad goes crazy when Robert comes
home looking sloppy. All Robert can say is,“It’s not fair. It’s not fair.”His dad replies,“Life isn’t fair.”One day after dinner Robert’s dad says,“I’ve
been thinking that I’ve been kind of hard on you, son.You’re getting older and I know you want to make more of your own decisions. On your 13th
birthday, I’m going to take you to the mall and let you buy some things you like.When we get to the store, I’m going to leave you completely alone
while you pick out what you want and try it on.Then, you let me know when you’re ready to pay and I’ll meet you at the cash register.The only rule
is that you can’t spend more than $70.”
63
Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION
LESSON ACTIVITIES
Instructional Sequence:
1) Briefly discuss students’answers to Icebreaker question.
• Explain to class that today’s topic of discussion is about parent-child connectedness (PCC).
• Provide definition for parent-child connectedness.
2) Facilitate whole-class group activity:“What does PCC look like?”
• Ask students to brainstorm different factors that represent what a strong PCC might look like.
• List students’ideas on flipchart paper.
3) Pass out“My RelationshipWith My Parent(s)/Guardian(s)”Handout.
• Have students complete handout.
• Facilitate classroom discussion with student answers.
• Instruct students to determine what they can do to strengthen their parent-child connectedness within their own family.
Closing Summary:
Today, we learned about the importance of parent-child connectedness and developed a list of your suggestions for increasing
PCC.The more open we are to having conversations with our parent(s)/guardian(s), the stronger our connection will be with
our parent(s)/guardian(s).
IMPROVING PARENT-CHILD CONNECTEDNESS
Students might say:
o Parent(s)/guardian(s) and child spend enjoyable time together.
o They communicate freely and openly.
o They trust each other.
o Family conflict is at a low level.
o They support each other and make an effort to accommodate one another’s needs.
65
PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION IMPROVING PARENT-CHILD CONNECTEDNESS
MY RELATIONSHIPWITH MY PARENT(S)/GUARDIAN(S) - HANDOUT
1) How would you describe your relationship with your parent(s)/guardian(s)? Do you get along, or do you feel as if you are
constantly fighting?
2) What kinds of activities do you enjoy doing with your parent(s)/guardian(s)?
3) Do you spend a lot of one-on-one time with them?
4) Do you feel closer to your mom or dad?Why do you think this is so?
5) Who would you talk to if you had a question about sex or dating?Your mom, dad, sibling, or friend?
6) What are some specific ideas that you have to increase your PCC with your own parent(s)/guardian(s)?
7) Pick one of the suggestions above, and give a concrete example of how you will make this happen and when.
66
Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7
APSTToolkitComplete 11 7

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APSTToolkitComplete 11 7

  • 9. ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT COMMUNITY:What does it mean to me? LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Pose the question:“What does community mean to you?” • Students should think about their communities of… o Residence – neighborhoods, developments, school districts, towns, or counties. o Relationships– the people that make up these communities. • Most of your students will probably list their neighborhood as their community and their family as the basis of this community because they are the people they feel most connected to. • Define community and kinship. 2) Explain to students that today we will be developing “a circle of community.” 3) Display your“Circle of Community”example. • Explain the levels of community to your students. For example: 4) Have students create their own circles of community. • Allow 5 minutes: Students brainstorm their own list of communities and the different groups of people they feel a kinship with. • Pass out blank handout“Circles of Community.” o Students will organize their lists to create their own circles. oThey can use your diagram as a model. o They can put multiple groups in one circle. But the group(s) they feel the strongest sense of community with should go in the inside circle, then the next closest group(s), and so on. • Next, ask them to put the names or initials of two or three people, in each level of their community, in the circles.   5) Read aloud the following situations common to teenagers. Have students identify on their diagrams which people they would most likely share the situation with. Question/Answer: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. Closing Summary: Today, we developed our own circles of community and now have a better understanding of the people and relationships that define these communities. Relationship Examples Work together Fellow workers LiveTogether Neighborhood, apartment complex Fellowship/Friendship Friends, social, or religious groups Common culture Gender, racial/ethnic group Common history Family members, long-time friends Common interest or concern Sports, hobbies, or political Situation Write onYour Circle Tell a secret about a friend “secret” Cry over something that hurts “cry” Ask for help with schoolwork “schoolwork” Borrow money “loan” Talk about problems with parents “parent” Ask for advice about sex “sex” Talk about using drugs “drugs” Discuss serious family troubles “family” Ask advice about a medical problem “medical” What did you learn about your own community? Is it larger or smaller than you thoughts?What connects you to others in your community? Why do most people talk or ask about certain things with some people, but not with others? Are there people in any circle for whom you would risk your personal health and safety? In which circle?Why? Are there any parts of your community that you want to build closer relationships with? 6
  • 10. ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT COMMUNITY:What does it mean to me? 7 Name: ________________________________ Date: ________________
  • 12. ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT LESSON ACTIVITIES: Instructional Sequence: 1) Have students share what they wrote down for their icebreaker.Thank them for sharing, and then explain that many people do not feel proud or confident about some of their attributes or how they look. Some people are uncomfortable with their body’s appearance. 2) Form small, same-sex groups of 3-5 students. Give each group two pieces of flipchart paper and a marker. • Have students brainstorm different body parts of their gender that people often feel dissatisfied with, and record on one piece of flipchart paper. Label your list either“Men often do not like…”or “Women often do not like…” • Distribute magazines, scissors, and tape to each group.Tell students to find pictures of people of their gender that they believe to be attractive. Have students make a collage of these pictures on their second piece of flipchart paper. Students should add words or phrases that describe an attractive member of their gender. • Showcase the finished lists and collages on the wall when groups are finished. 3) Give each student several sticky-notes. Instruct students to rotate around the room silently, and leave comments on other groups’lists and collages. Examples of comments your students may write: • I agree because… • I disagree because… • This picture is infuriating because it portrays men/women… • I believe… 4) Ask students to take a seat. Make mental notes about commonalities in each list. Summarize what you saw on the lists, collages, and sticky-notes to your students. Example: • I see that several male lists included height as one thing men often dislike about their own body. • I see that many female lists include weight as one thing women often dislike about their own body. Possible Questions to Discuss: • What does that say about men who are short or medium height? Can they still be attractive? • Why do you think that only tall men are attractive? • What do you think contributes the most to girls’unhappiness about their weight? • Why do we only think girls of certain weight are attractive? Question/Answer: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. Do you think that women or men are in general more satisfied with their own appearance?What gives you this impression? Where/from whom do we get our ideas about what is attractive and what is not? Did you find pictures that coincided with your ideas about what is attractive? If not, what were you looking for that you couldn’t find? Can we change some parts of our body?Which ones and how? Have we really changed when we change these parts of our bodies? Does this make us better people? What parts of us can we not change? Does our inability to change some parts of our body mean that we are unattractive? Why or why not? What are some things about us that make us attractive, but that do NOT rest on our appearance? POINTSTO EMPHASIZE: humor, intelligence, friendliness, kindness, tact, consideration, patience, determination, compassion, ability to love and be loved, to be a good parent, student, employee/employer, friend, or neighbor. What specific things can adolescents/teens do to feel better about their bodies? SUGGESTIONS: being supportive friends, finding supportive friends, paying less attention to media images, talking to a counselor, being active/involved in school, talking to parents. Closing Summary: Today, we discussed body image and how the media can often influence how we feel about our own bodies. Although we often associate physical appearance with beauty, we also possess other qualities that make us attractive. Remember, there are many people you can talk to when you start to develop negative feelings about your body. BODY IMAGE 9
  • 14. ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Introduce the concept of self-esteem. • Explain the importance of having a positive self-esteem. o Healthy self-esteem serves as‘armor’for kids against the challenges of the world. o Kids that feel good about themselves are generally optimistic and have a positive outlook in the face of challenges. • Explain the potential damaging nature of having a negative self-esteem. o Disappointing life experiences may contribute to an unhealthy self-esteem. o Kids that are highly critical of themselves are frustrated easily and tend to immediately say“I can’t”in the face of challenges. 2)WHOLE CLASS ACTIVITY:The IALAC Story • Explain to students that you will be reading the story aloud to them about a person’s developing self-esteem. • Tell students to listen carefully to determine when negative life events occur. o When students identify that a negative life event has occurred, have them rip off a piece of the IALAC sign. • Read story slowly. Prompt the class with questions as needed if they are not catching on as to when negative life events are occurring. 3) PARTNER ACTIVITY: Follow-Up Questions • After reading the story, pass out“The IALAC Story: Discussion Questions”handout. • Have students work with partners to answer questions. • Discuss questions as a whole group. 4) INDEPENDENT ACTIVITY: Individual Reflection • Have students reflect on personal questions about their own IALAC signs. • Tell students that this activity is a personal reflection opportunity. Nobody else will see their answers. • Instruct students to keep their handouts as a reminder for fun activities they can do to boost their self-esteem. Closing Summary: Today, we discussed how our self-esteem is affected by events that occur throughout our lives.We also learned about the impact that self-esteem can have on our decisions. SELF-ESTEEM 11
  • 15. SELF-ESTEEMADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT SELF-ESTEEM Leader’s Resource:Teacher should read this out loud to students. This is a story about Michaela and one of her most prized possessions – her IALAC sign.When Michaela was born, she was just like the rest of us. She came equipped with a sign called her IALAC. IALAC stands for“I Am Loveable And Capable.” Because it was invisible, no one – not her parents, relatives, or the doctor who delivered her – knew it was there. Nevertheless, it was shiny and new and in the earliest days of Michaela’s life when her young mother and father were happily married and gave her kisses every day, her IALAC sign actually grew a little bit larger and stronger. The IALAC sign is an indication that children come into this world free of self-doubt, feelings of shame, inferiority, or anything negative.They must learn those things from the people and the world around them. At age five, Michaela did a lot of fun things with her parents.They had fun on the playground and watched cartoons on Saturdays. Michaela spent time with both of her grand- parents and was showered with attention and gifts. One day at the playground, she heard her mom and dad yelling at each other. Michaela immediately felt scared. She went over to give her dad a hug, and her father frowned and told her to go back to the swings. Her father’s face looked so mean that Michaela started to cry. Michaela’s mom came over and hugged her, but she was still not consoled. A very small piece of Michaela’s IALAC sign fell off. Michaela didn’t feel so loveable and capable at that moment. On her 9th birthday, Michaela was excited because she was having a birthday sleepover. Six girls were at her house, four of her best friends, and two other popular girls from her class.They had played games and had just sung Happy Birthday. It was finally time for the cake. As Michaela cut herself a big slice, she heard her two classmates giggle under their breath. Michaela looked down and saw her stomach protruding over her jeans. She immediately felt self conscious and ashamed. Time passed and before you knew it, Michaela was starting sixth grade in a new middle school. Her body was changing so much – she still thought she was“too fat,”but she now had breasts and a big behind that got a lot of comments from the boys at her school. Michaela liked the attention, but it was scary at the same time. Sometimes boys would ask her to go in a vacant room and have sex. She always just laughed and waved them away, but it was exciting. By 7th grade, Michaela’s mother had started giving her lectures about boys and sex. She seemed worried that Michaela was going to have sex soon. Her typical speech went like this,“I hope you’ve learned something by being in this house.Your daddy hasn’t done right by me or you, so I hope you’ve learned that you can’t count on a man. I know you think you’re grown and all, but you aren’t. Please don’t let some stupid boy sweet talk you and get you to have sex with him.You can’t believe anything guys say to you.They’re just out for what they can get.” At first, those conversations really bothered Michaela because she felt like her mother didn’t know her and didn’t trust her. Soon, she just began to tune her mother out. She also had a sort of wound inside her when she thinks about her father. Sometimes, she thinks her mother is right – her dad is just a loser. And other times she thinks that there’s just something about herself that her dad can’t completely love. Michaela misses him and wishes he would come visit her more often. Later that year, Michaela and her mom had to move to a less expensive apartment.That meant Michaela had to attend a new school and make all new friends. Her classes were bigger, and the teacher’s didn’t seem as helpful. Michaela’s grades started to fall.What she hated worst was the time after school. In her new neighborhood, there was nothing to do – no recreation center, no fun activities. It was so boring. She felt down because she had nothing to do to interest or challenge her. Then this 8th grader, DeShawn, started talking to Michaela. He was nice, and it made Michaela feel good to spend time with him and have him care about her.When he started making a move to have sex with her, Michaela agreed. She called him every day, and they had good conversations. But then DeShawn started pulling away from her.When she tried to talk to him, he said nothing was wrong, but she could tell it was. One day she saw DeShawn with his arm around another girl.When she walked over to him, he said,“Hey Michaela, I want you to meet my new girlfriend, Shana.”Michaela was so hurt. By the time Michaela graduated high school, her IALAC sign had done a lot of mending. Michaela started to work harder at school and brought her grades up. She also developed a closer relationship with her father and had a great group of friends that she loved spending time with.Young people are resilient, but are still affected by different events in their lives that can cause cracks in their IALAC signs.   The IALAC Story Resource: Courtesy of ETR ReCAPP – written by PamelaWilson 12
  • 16. ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT SELF-ESTEEM 1) What are your first impressions/reactions to Michaela’s IALAC Story? 2) How do you think Michaela’s relationship with her father affected her self-esteem?What about her relationship with her mother? 3) How do you think Michaela’s feelings of self-esteem affected her decision to have sexual intercourse? 4) What do you think attracted Michaela to DeShawn? 5) Why do you think DeShawn pulled away from Michaela? 6) What parts of the story could you relate to and why? 7) If you were Michaela’s friend, what would you advise her to do now to increase her self-esteem? The IALAC Story: Discussion Questions 13 Name: ________________________________ Date: ________________
  • 17. ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT What kinds of things have happened in your life that might have damaged your IALAC sign? What kinds of activities make you feel good about yourself? How often do you get to do these things? How do you think these activities would affect your IALAC sign? PERSONAL REFLECTION QUESTIONS: SELF-ESTEEM 14 Name: ________________________________ Date: ________________
  • 19. ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Explain to students that an important part of adolescent development is to prepare for your future. One way to plan ahead is to have and outline clear goals for oneself. • Tell students that when we have a strong vision of what we want, we are more likely to be successful at achieving our goals. 2) Pass out the“Envisioning My Future”handout. • Explain to students the two sides of the handout. o This is me now: Students should use magazine pictures, personal drawings, words, phrases or song lyrics that best describe them as an individual.  Topics students should think about: special skills, strengths, hobbies, activities, interests, physical traits, and achievements. o This is my future: Students should similarly use magazine pictures, drawings, words, phrases, or song lyrics to create an image of the future they envision.  Topics students should think about: education, career, awards, family, home, travel, and lifestyle. • Remind students that they can be as creative as possible when doing this activity. Encourage outside-the-box thinking and imagination. Avoid stifling creativity. Instead of critiquing goals or future plans, invite your students to explain more about their dreams. 3) Allow students approximately 15 minutes to work on their composite visualizations.When they begin wrapping up, ask every student to tape their picture on the wall. • Instruct students to walk around the classroom and observe each others’work. • Tell students to make a mental note of certain pictures or words that they either find interesting or can identify with • Explain to them that you want to hear their impressions of what other students think their futures will look like. Question/Answer: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. Was it easy or difficult to find pictures that could represent you?What additional images would you have liked to include, but could not find? What did you learn about yourself as you did this activity? When you looked at everyone’s composites, did any of them remind you of yourself? Did you notice major differences between some composites and others? If so, what differences did you notice? How difficult was it to imagine your future? Closing Summary: Today, we completed some self-exploration and strengthened our own understanding of who we are as a person.We also reflected on our skills and interests to envision how these could play out in our future. ENVISIONING MY FUTURE 16
  • 20. ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT “THIS IS ME ANDTHIS IS MY FUTURE”HANDOUT Name: ________________________________ Date: ________________ THIS IS ME ...THIS IS MY FUTURE ENVISIONING MY FUTURE 17
  • 22. HEALTHY SKILLS BODY LANGUAGE LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Explain the difference between normal communication and nonverbal communication. • Remind students that clear communication is vital for healthy relationships with family, friends, coworkers, and romantic partners. • Explain that problems often occur in communicating when a sender’s actions in some way will contradict what he or she is saying. 2) Whole Class Activity: Body Language Charades • Explain to students that this activity will give participants a chance to practice communicating through body language. • Give students the following information on the activity. o It will work similar to charades. o There are several“feelings”written on index cards and placed in a container. o Invite students one-at-a-time to participate by selecting a card at random and using various body gestures to convey the feelings written on the card to the class. o The rest of the class will guess what feeling is being communicated. Once someone correctly guesses the feeling, the next person in line will draw a card and act out what is written on it.  Remind students that they are to only act out the feelings and should not use any words. o As each feeling is correctly identified, write it in the left column of the chart and ask the group to list the behaviors that helped them identify that feeling.These will be written in the right column. EXAMPLE Question/Answer: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. • Can you give examples of when someone’s body language communicated a different message from what he/she actually said? • When you are trying to send a message, which is more effective: body language or verbal communication? • Sometimes one person is offended by another person’s body language.What are some specific suggestions that you can think of to prevent that from happening? • What are some nonverbal body language messages that are particularly positive?What about particularly negative? Closing Summary: Today, we learned the difference between verbal and nonverbal communication. It is important to clearly communicate with others to establish a healthy relationship.When we are not clear with our body language, we might be sending mixed messages. NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Feeling Behavior “disappointed” Shrugging the shoulders Sighing Shaking or hanging the head 19
  • 24. HEALTHY SKILLS LESSON ACTIVITIES: Instructional Sequence: 1) Explain the importance of assertive refusals to class. • It’s not only important to ask for what you want, but to also know how to turn others down assertively when they ask for something you don’t want to give or offer you something you don’t want to receive. • Saying“no”is not terribly hard. But very few people are good at it.The idea is to not give in, and still not lose your friends. • There are 3 main steps that you should remember when being assertive in your refusal. Reference the“Assertive Refusal in 3 Steps”handout. • Model the 3 steps to the class. • Provide handout to the entire class. 2) Instruct students to form pairs. Give each group a single scenario card and a“Blank Scenario Role Play”handout. • Have each group read their scenario in their group. • Have each group write out their 3 responses on their“Blank Scenario Role Play”handout.When they are confident about their answers, instruct them to practice their responses with their partners. • Rotate around the room and observe group progress. Make comments and suggestions as necessary to help students. • Remind students that the most important step of the refusal is definitively saying“NO!” 3) Group Practice: • Tell students that you want the class to observe each group practicing refusal skills by having each group demonstrate their scenario to the class. • Have the class offer praise or suggestions for each group. 4) Independent Activity: • If students are enjoying the role-plays and want more practice, create additional scenarios for them to work on. • If students are ready to move on, you may have them work on a written assignment. (This can also be used as a homework assignment). • Have students complete the“Dear Abby”scenarios by having them write their 3 responses out. Have them share answers with partner or finish for homework. Question/Answer: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. • When you were doing the role-plays with your partner, which step was the hardest to remember or follow-through with? • How does body language play a role in an assertive refusal?What specific things can you do with your body to strengthen your refusal? • Even if you follow the 3 steps outlined, what might be some alternative options for a successful refusal? Closing Summary: Today, we learned about the importance of saying“no”and practiced making assertive refusals following the 3-step method. COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!” 21
  • 25. HEALTHY SKILLS COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!” ASSERTIVE REFUSAL IN 3 STEPS The most important step isTHE REFUSAL and making sure that you definitively include the word“NO”!   1) SAY SOMETHING CARING That’s flattering, but… It’s nice of you to offer, but… Thanks for asking, but… I’m glad you trust me to ask, but… I love you, but… I care about you, but… I’m sure you have a good reason for asking, but… 2) REFUSE No. No, sorry. No thanks. No, I’m OK. No, that’s alright. 3) STATEYOUR DECISION I’d rather I’d prefer I don’t believe in I’ve decided to 22
  • 26. HEALTHY SKILLS COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!” Scenario #1 Your brother asks you for $5, and you don’t want to give it to him.You’re saving it for a concert ticket. Scenario #2 Your friend asks you to spend the night, but you want to stay home.You have to get up early for your soccer game. Scenario #3 Your boyfriend or girlfriend wants you to go camping with his or her family.You wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that. Scenario #4 Your uncle offers to let you drive his truck all by yourself. You’re too young; you know it’s against the law and don’t feel right about it. Scenario #5 Somebody you’ve just met says,“Why don’t you give me your number? I’ll call you.”You aren’t sure that it’s safe. Scenario #6 Your boyfriend or girlfriend asks to“come over.”Your folks aren’t home and it’s against family rules. Scenario #7 Your friend wants to“borrow”your homework.You don’t want to get in trouble for cheating. Plus, you worked really hard on the homework all by yourself! Scenario #8 Your friend offers to massage your sore feet.They smell and you would feel embarrassed. Scenario #9 You are at your friend’s house, and his/her parents are out to dinner.Your friend offers you a beer, but you don’t feel comfortable drinking it. But you don’t want to seem like a baby because everyone else is doing it. Scenario #10 A man outside the grocery store says,“Hey, I’ll buy you some wine if you let me keep the change.”You don’t drink. Scenario #11 Your friend’s dad invites you over for dinner.They’re having liver.You don’t like liver. Scenario #12 Your friend wants you to take a few dollars off your mother’s dresser to go to the movies.You don’t feel right about it. 23
  • 27. HEALTHY SKILLS COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!” “Blank Scenario Role-Play”Handout Say Something Caring: Refuse: StateYour Decision: Say Something Caring: Refuse: StateYour Decision: Say Something Caring: Refuse: StateYour Decision: Say Something Caring: Refuse: StateYour Decision: 24 Name: _________________________________ Date: ________________
  • 28. HEALTHY SKILLS COMMUNICATION: SAYING“NO!” “DEAR ABBY”HANDOUT Dear Abby, My best friend smokes cigarettes. So far he hasn’t offered me any, but what if he does? I’ve been avoiding hanging out with him because I’m afraid he might ask me to smoke, but I don’t want to lose him as a friend.What should I say to him? - Gum Breath Dear Abby, Am I crazy? One of my friends shoplifts all the time. I don’t.Well this person offered to give me a $100 watch. It must be stolen. I said I’d think about it.What should I do? -Timeless 25 Name: _________________________________ Date: ________________
  • 30. HEALTHY SKILLS CHANGING SOCIAL NORMS LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Explain the difference between a myth and reality. 2) Explain to students the following: • It usually seems that many young people are making bad choices, but the truth is that many of you share the same views about making good decisions. • But when we assume incorrectly about things going on around us, we might feel pressured to make poor decisions for ourselves. • When we make a mistake about what we think is going on around us (the myth that most kids are smoking or having sex, for example), it can make it hard to see or believe what’s really going on (most kids do not smoke or are not having sex in reality). o If Megan thinks her friends are smoking, she might feel pressured into smoking to fit in. o If Megan knows that her friends are not smoking, she will stick to her decision not to smoke. 3) Explain to students that in the next activity, they will evaluate how knowing what’s really going on with their friends and classmates can help them make good, informed decisions. • Divide participants up into 4 groups. Each group will work on one of the numbered cases within the“WhatWill He/She Do”handout. • Have students discuss what they think the character in the scenario should do and try to come to an agreement within their group. • Each group will then present their individual scenario to the class and give a brief report on what they discussed. 4) Review each case with students. • Use the following questions to elicit a better discussion with your students if they seem to be struggling. o Jasmine:  Even though Jasmine says she wants to wait until she gets married, why might she feel pressure to have sex?  If you personally believe it is best to wait, but you think everyone else thinks it’s okay to do it now, how might that affect your decision to have sex? o Deisha:  Why do you think Deisha will stick to her decision to wait despite her fears about Jay breaking up with her?  How might knowing that your friends are making good decisions help you to stick to your own choices? o Victor:  Even though Nikki isVictor’s friend, why might he feel pressure to join in?  If you personally felt that you wanted sexual harassment to stop, but you think that everyone else thinks it’s funny, how might that affect whether or not you make sexual comments? o Carlos:  Why do you think Carlos will stick to his decision not to make sexual comments even though Derek is his friend?  How will knowing the reality that most kids do not think sexual harassment is funny help you to stop making sexual comments to a classmate? Closing Summary: Today, we learned that when you know the truth about what your friends are doing and thinking, you are more likely to uphold your own values and make good decisions. 27
  • 31. HEALTHY SKILLS CHANGING SOCIAL NORMS WhatWill He/She Do? 1) Jasmine has been seeing Alberto for almost a year. She has always said she was going to wait until she got married before having sex. She has heard rumors that other girls her age had sex. What do you think Jasmine will do?Why? 2) Deisha has been seeing Jay for almost a year. She’s thinking about having sex with him because she is afraid he will break up with her if she doesn’t. Her girlfriends tell her they all felt the same way, but none of their boyfriends broke up with them. What do you think Deisha will do?Why?   3) Alfonso makes a rude comment about Nikki’s skirt in front of the class.Victor is Nikki’s friend. Most of the kids in the class are laughing and trying to getVictor to join in. What do you thinkVictor will do?Why? 4) Derek makes a rude comment about Janet’s shirt in front of the class. Carlos is Derek’s friend. Carols feels pressure to make a comment, but knows that the other kids, despite their laughter, are hoping it never happens to them. What do you think Carlos will do in this situation?Why? 28 Name: _________________________________ Date: ________________
  • 33. HEALTHY SKILLS SEX INTHE MEDIA LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Have students take initial“Sex andTV Quiz.” 2)WHOLE CLASS ACTIVITY: Reaction to the“Sex andTV Quiz” • Invite students to share their answers to the Icebreaker and how they think those relate to the quiz. • Share with the class the answers to the“Sex andTV Quiz.” • The following are suggested questions you may use to facilitate conversation regarding the“Sex andTV Quiz”: o What kinds of sexual messages do we receive fromTV shows and commercials? o From theTV Smarts Quiz, we learned that approximately 76% of Americans believe thatTV contributes to teen pregnancy.Why do you think that is? o Do you believe that television contributes to teen pregnancy for some youth? o How do you feel when you see sexual behavior on television? 3) GROUP ACTIVITY: Brainstorming Possible Solutions • Use Flipchart paper to brainstorm possible solutions to the following two questions in the box below. • Divide the class in half and assign each group one of the questions below. • Allow students time to work in their groups and develop possible solutions. • Have students write their answers on the flipchart paper. • Have one student from each group present their ideas. • Discuss similarities between the two questions and see if there are any overlapping solutions between the two lists. Closing Summary: Television is a major source of information for youth today and often can contribute both positively and negatively to your opinions and mindsets of certain topics. Recall some of the strategies that we listed in class today about how to beTV smart when watching your favorite show. Continue to remind yourself that television is not real, but your life is. Do not be negatively influenced by fictional characters and relationships that do not exist. o What can producers ofTV shows do differently to help decrease teen pregnancy or at least avoid contributing to teen pregnancy? o What can you and your friends do so you are not negatively influenced byTV’s sexual messages? 30
  • 34. HEALTHY SKILLS SEX INTHE MEDIA Sex andTV Quiz 1. In 1950, only 10% of homes in the U.S. had aTV.What percent of homes now have at least oneTV? a. 85% b. 95% c. 99% 2. What percent of youth haveTVs in their bedrooms? a. 31% b. 54% c. 75% 3. Youth who watchTV four or more hours a day are more likely to believe advertising claims. True False 4. Youth see about TV commercials a year. a. 700 b. 9,000 c. 50,000 5. How manyTV shows include sexual content (talking about sex, kissing, intimate touching, sexual intercourse implied or depicted)? a. one quarter (1/4) b. two thirds (2/3) c. three quarters (3/4) 6. Sexual intercourse is depicted or strongly implied in one out of __________ shows onTV. a. 10 b. 20 c. 30 7. What percent of shows with sexual content include references to safer sex (i.e. using condoms or abstinence) or the possible risks or responsibilities of sex (i.e. unplanned pregnancy, STIs, etc.)? a. 10% b. 20% c. 30% 8. Of the programs that depict teen characters in sexual situations, how many have no reference to the risks and responsibilities of sex? a. 41% b. 68% c. 92% 9. Which type of show makes the least reference to safer sex and risks or responsibilities? a. sitcoms b. dramas c. talk shows 10. What percent of Americans believeTV contributes to teen pregnancy? a. 28% b. 52% c. 76% 11. Youth receive information about sex from peers, parents, school and the media. How much of their information and ideas about sex come fromTV? a. 30% b. 45% c. 60% Reprinted from ReCAPP — ETR Associates’Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention www.etr.org/recapp Copyright©2004 ETR Associates 31 Name: _________________________________ Date: ________________
  • 35. HEALTHY SKILLS SEX INTHE MEDIA Answer Sheet Sex andTV Quiz 1. In 1950, only 10% of homes in the U.S. had aTV.What percent of homes now have at least oneTV? c. 99% 1 2. What percent of youth haveTVs in their bedrooms? b. 54% 1 3. Youth who watchTV four or more hours a day are more likely to believe advertising claims. True 1 4. Youth see aboutTV commercials a year. c. 50,000 1 5. How manyTV shows include sexual content (talking about sex, kissing, intimate touching, sexual intercourse implied or depicted)? b. two thirds (2/3) 2 6. Sexual intercourse is depicted or strongly implied in one out of _________ shows onTV. a.10 2 7. What percent of shows with sexual content include references to safer sex (i.e. using condoms or abstinence) or the possible risks or responsibilities of sex (i.e. unplanned pregnancy, STIs, etc.)? a. 10% 2 8. Of the programs that depict teen characters in sexual situations, how many have no reference to the risks and responsibilities of sex? b. 68%2 9. Which type of show makes the least reference to safer sex and risks or responsibilities? a. sitcoms 2 10. What percent of Americans believeTV contributes to teen pregnancy? c. 76% 2 11. Youth receive information about sex from peers, parents, school and the media. How much of their information and ideas about sex come fromTV? c. 60% 2 1 Rosen E.Y., Quesada A.P., and Lockwood Summers S. (1998). Changing theWorldThrough Media Education: A Media Literacy Curriculum by the JustThink Foundation. Fulrum Publishing. 2 Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. (2001). Sex onTV2: A Biennial Report of the Kaiser Family Found 32
  • 37. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IDENTIFYING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Discuss icebreaker. • Ask students to stand next to the sign of their #1 Quality. • Have students share reasoning with others in the group about their written explanation. • Facilitate classroom discussion with debrief questions. • Teacher should look for why students chose top-scoring items and what those qualities would look like in a healthy relationship. 2) Pass out“Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships”handout. • Distribute handouts to students. (Additional blank“Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships”copies can be given to students to help them observe their own relationships.) • Ask them to review/reflect on each of the qualities.Tell them they will be identifying these behaviors in a role-play activity. • Select students to read the role-play scenarios.The audience will determine if scenarios are healthy or unhealthy by making observations and denoting these on their checklist. • Facilitate classroom discussion with debrief questions following each role-play. MAIN POINTSTO EMPHASIZETO CLASS: Mark and Erica: Even though Mark exhibits qualities from the healthy relationship list (trust and love), his actions are unacceptable, and Erica does not deserve to be treated this way. It would be unhealthy for her to remain in this relationship. Blake and Kelly: Blake and Kelly share a supportive, honest, and trusting relationship. Although they have different interests, they value the importance of each other’s individual activities.With effective communication, they were able to come to a compromise that both of them were happy with. Closing Summary: Today, we identified several important qualities for a healthy relationship. As a class, you agreed that (list the top qualities you discussed with your students) were the most important for you in a relationship.You also observed several role-plays and learned how to identify the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. • Why did you all choose honesty? • In what ways can you show your dating partner that you are honest? • What are some dishonest things a boyfriend or girlfriend might do? • Do you think this is a healthy or an unhealthy relationship? • Which behaviors did our characters exhibit? • Is it possible for a relationship to exhibit both healthy and unhealthy behaviors? 34
  • 38. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IDENTIFYING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships – Observation Checklist HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS In a healthy relationship, people… Observer’s Checklist Mark & Erica Blake & Kelly Treat their partner with respect Support and encourage each other Treat each other as equals Are honest Earn their partner’s trust Have shared interests Also have separate interests and identities Try hard to have honest and clear communication Enjoy being with each other Never hurt their partner physically or sexually UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS In an unhealthy relationship, people… Observer’s Checklist Mark & Erica Blake & Kelly Treat their partner disrespectfully Frequently argue or fight Have no shared interests Have no separate interests or friends Cheat on their partner Don’t care about their partner’s wants or feelings Don’t enjoy spending time together Might throw or break things during an argument Might put the other person down or try to control them Are at times overly jealous of their partner Vs. 35 Name: _____________________________________ Date: _________________
  • 39. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IDENTIFYING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Narrator: Mark and Erica have been going out for about 6 months. Mark feels like he is really in love with Erica. Mark: “Erica, I love you.You are the prettiest girl I have ever dated, and you are so smart.” Erica: “Aww, that’s so sweet of you Mark. I really like you too.” Narrator: But, Mark feels nervous that he might lose her to another guy, since she is so pretty and smart. He doesn’t think she would ever cheat on him, but he does see her talking with other guys sometimes. Mark:“I know you would never cheat on me, but it makes me upset when you talk to other guys.” Erica: “I’m just talking to them.You know I wouldn’t cheat on you.” Mark:“But I don’t like it. Are you trying to make me mad?” Erica:“Aw, come on Mark. I think you’re just being jealous.” Mark:“No, I’m not.You’re my girl, so I only want you talking to me.” Narrator: Erica got upset with him, and they got in a huge fight. As they were arguing, Mark felt so mad that he grabbed her by the arms to get her to listen to him and then threw his cell phone across the room. Mark immediately apologized. Mark:“I’m really sorry, Erica! I didn’t mean to do that; it was just an accident. I promise it won’t ever happen again.” Scenario #1: MARK & ERICA Scenario #2: BLAKE & KELLY Narrator: Blake and Kelly have also been dating for about 6 months. Blake just made the varsity soccer team, after putting in many hours of practice throughout the entire summer. He excitedly calls his girlfriend Kelly to tell her the news and to tell her all about the team. Blake: “Hi, Kelly. I have some exciting news. I just made the varsity soccer team!” Kelly: “Wow, that’s awesome, Blake! I know how much you have been practicing, so I am so excited for you.” Blake: “Thanks for listening to me. It means a lot, especially because I know you don’t really like soccer that much.” Narrator: Blake invites Kelly to his first game, but Kelly tells him that she can’t come because she has a Student Council meeting that night. Blake is disappointed and wishes Kelly would just forget about her meeting and come to the game anyway. But he knows that Student Council is just as important to her as soccer is to him. Blake:“It would really mean a lot to me if you came to the game.” Kelly: “I want to see you play. My meeting shouldn’t last that long. I should be able to come to the second half once my meeting is over.” 36
  • 43. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS LESSON ACTIVITIES: Instructional Sequence: 1) Explain to students that some of the most damaging stereotypes are related to gender. Brainstorm with students these stereotypes that they have heard about males and females. Refer to the comprehensive list of stereotypes below that you should look for in students’responses. GENDER ROLES & RELATIONSHIPS Males: Stereotypical Beliefs About Masculinity Females: Stereotypical Beliefs About Femininity Be in control and appear unemotional Be emotionally sensitive and vulnerable Be the dominant partner in a relationship Submit to the wishes and demands of a sexual partner Exert pressure or force on their sexual partners Have children Become sexually active early and have many partners Meet the needs of others before their own Work in careers that are mechanical or analytical Choose careers in the“helping”professions Assume responsibility as the“breadwinner”of the family Be physically attractive Achieve status by earning lots of money Tolerate sexually harassing behavior without complaint Take risks to prove their manhood Be nurturing and take care of the household Resolve conflicts with violence Be docile Avoid traditionally“female”work in the arts or human services Avoid nontraditional careers in math or the sciences 2) Explain to students that stereotypes about gender roles can often affect our actions and relationships with others.The next activity will help explore situations where gender roles and stereotypes could affect goals, decisions, and relationships for teens. 3) Divide students into 7 small groups and distribute a different Gender Role Case Study to each group. • Students should examine their case study and analyze how stereotypical beliefs affect how we might initially respond to these situations. • For each scenario, students should address the following questions (write on board for class): o Which stereotypical belief does the scenario address? o How do you/your group personally feel about the situation? o Do you agree with the traditional/contemporary response? o What advice would you give to the people involved in the situation? Question/Answer: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. • Is it easy or hard to look at male and female roles in a nontraditional way? • How do men or women accept changes in gender roles?Why? • What are some of the ways changing gender roles have affected relationships between men and women (a) in social settings, (b) in families, and (c) in the workplace? • Do you think your parents would reach the same or different solutions? • Which case study did you find to be the most difficult?Why? • If you could make one change in men’s gender roles, what would it be? In women’s gender roles? Closing Summary: Stereotypes often contribute negatively to gender roles. Men and women often feel that they have to act a certain way because society has defined certain expectations for us based on our gender. Unfortunately, this can hinder the authenticity of our relationships and cause miscommunications. It is important for us to be open about behaviors typically assigned to men and women and be open about how we can be flexible in our relationships. 40
  • 44. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS GENDER ROLES & RELATIONSHIPS Gender Role Case Studies Gender Role Case Study #1 Leo is about to ask Gloria out for the first time when she walks over to him and says,“Leo, there’s a new movie in town, and I really want to see it. I was hoping you would go with me. Are you busy Saturday night?”Leo has no plans, and he was hoping to take Gloria to the movie, but he wants to do the asking. He’s thinking he’ll say he’s busy.What should he do? Gender Role Case Study #2 Charlene has been offered a special grant to apprentice with a master plumber after graduation. She’s excited and she rushes to tell Lloyd.They’ve been planning to get married in the fall, and this way, she’ll be able to start earning some good money. Lloyd is very quiet after Charlene tells him, then finally says,“I don’t think I could marry a plumber Charlene.You’re going to have to make a choice.”What should she do? Gender Role Case Study #3 Sam wants to buy a doll for his nephew’s birthday but his buddy Jay says,“No way!”Sam explains that dolls help teach little boys to take care of someone else and be loving, but Jay argues that they just teach boys to be sissies. Sam is concerned about what Jay might say to their friends if he buys a doll for his nephew.What should Sam do? Gender Role Case Study #4 Susan and Fred have been going out for months, and things have been good. Her parents approve of him and the word is out at school that she is his girl. But lately Fred has been putting a lot of pressure on Susan to fool around more than she wants to.When she says“no,”he says that it’s her job as a woman to please him.What can she say to him? 41
  • 47. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE? LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) As a whole class, go through the answers to the“Adult-Teen Relationships:What AreThe Facts?”true or false quiz. • Explain to students that incorrect assumptions about teenage relationships have made it difficult for our nation to reduce the number of teenage pregnancies. o Many people assume that teen pregnancies are the result of relationships between partners close in age when many adult men are the fathers of teen births. o This lesson evaluates the dangers of an adult-teen relationship.You will be asked to evaluate these relationships and give advice about them. 2) Draw on the board/flipchart paper a continuum of OK -------------to-------------NOT OKAY. • Ask students to think about a sexual relationship between a high school sophomore and a 22-year-old. o How do you feel about the fact that the adult is 7 years older than his/her teen partner? Have students place an‘X’on their own continuum to describe their feelings toward this relationship. o Invite students to share their answers to this question. Make notes on the continuum as needed to facilitate classroom discussion. 3) Divide the students into 4 groups and give each group a piece of the prepared flipchart paper with one of the statements written out. Instruct each group to list all the reasons they can think of in response to the statement on their sheet. • After ten minutes, invite each group to post their response sheets on the wall and share their ideas with the rest of the class. • Facilitate a classroom discussion based on what types of answers students developed. Follow-up their answers with the discussion questions listed below. Question/Answer: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. • What observations can you make from viewing these lists? • Do you agree with adults who are concerned about these relationships? Explain. • What is your advice to older men/women?To teens? 4) After you feel satisfied with the discussion, distribute the handouts“Unhappy Girl”to half the class and the“Advice to my Friend’s Friend”handout to the other half. • Instruct students to write an advice column for the scenarios listed on the handout. • You may collect these handouts either at the end of class, or assign them for homework.They should provide your students extra practice analyzing situations involving adult-teen relationships. Closing Summary: Today, we examined the issue of relationships between teens and older romantic partners.We discussed the reasons for why teens might find adults more attractive than their peers.We also looked at why older men/women might be interested in younger partners and how differences in age can contribute to an unhealthy relationship. 44
  • 48. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE? Name: __________________________________ Date: ___________________ Worksheet: Adult-Teen Relationships:What are the Facts? Directions: Mark each statement belowT forTrue or F for False. ______ 1.The majority of sexually active teenagers have sexual intercourse with partners close to their own age. ______ 2. Many babies born to 15-year-old teens are fathered by males 20 or older. ______ 3.The younger a girl is when she first has sexual intercourse, the more likely it is that she does not agree to it, and does not want to do it. ______ 4.The“age of consent”to sexual intercourse is the same in every state. ______ 5.The closer in age a teen girl and her sexual partner are, the more likely she is to use contraception the first time she has sexual intercourse. ______ 6. A teen girl is less likely to be exposed to a sexually transmitted infection (like HIV/AIDS) by a partner 3 or more years older than by a partner closer to her own age. ______ 7.The younger a teen mother is, the greater the age gap is likely to be between her and her baby’s father. ______ 8. Half of fathers aged 20 or older whose infants are born to 14- to 17-year-old girls have completed fewer years of school than is expected for their age. ______ 9. In our state, teenagers cannot legally consent or agree to sexual intercourse until they reach 16 years of age. ______ 10. In our state, it is against the law for a person 15 years old to have sexual intercourse with a person 18 years old (or: 3 or more years older) even if the younger person consents to it. Reprinted from: Montfort, S., Brick, P. (2000). Unequal Partners:Teaching about Power and Consent in Adult-Teen and Other Relationships, 2nd ed. Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, Inc., 33-40. Reprinted from ReCAPP — ETR Associates’Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention http://www.etr.org/recapp/ Copyright ©2004 ETR Associates 45
  • 49. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE? Worksheet: Adult-Teen Relationships:What are the Facts? Directions: Mark each statement belowT forTrue or F for False. T 1.The majority of teenagers have sexual intercourse with partners close to their own age. T 2. Many babies born to 15-year-old teens are fathered by males 20 or older. T 3.The younger a girl is when she first has sexual intercourse, the more likely it is that she does not agree to it, and does not want to do it. F 4.The“age of consent”to sexual intercourse is the same in every state. T 5.The closer in age a teen girl and her sexual partner are, the more likely she is to use contraception the first time she has sexual intercourse. F 6. A teen girl is less likely to be exposed to a sexually transmitted infection (like HIV/AIDS) by a partner 3 or more years older than by a partner closer to her own age. T 7.The younger a teen mother is, the greater the age gap is likely to be between her and her baby’s father. T 8. Half of fathers aged 20 or older whose infants are born to 14- to 17-year-old girls have completed fewer years of school than is expected for their age. T 9. In our state, teenagers cannot legally consent or agree to sexual intercourse until they reach 16 years of age. T 10. In our state, it is against the law for a person 15 years old to have sexual intercourse with a person 18 years old (Or: 3, or more years older) even if the younger person consents to it. Sources: Abma, J. (1998);The Alan Guttmacher Institute (1994); Darroch, J. (1999); Donovan, P. (1997); Kirby, D. (1996); Lindberg, L. (1997); Males, M. (1993, 1996); Miller, K. (1997); State Code of Criminal Justice;Taylor, D. (1997); Zierler, et. al. (1991). Reprinted from: Montfort, S., Brick, P. (2000). Unequal Partners:Teaching about Power and Consent in Adult-Teen and Other Relationships, 2nd ed. Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, Inc., 33-40. Reprinted from ReCAPP — ETR Associates’Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention http://www.etr.org/recapp/ Copyright ©2004 ETR Associates 46
  • 50. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE? What’sYour Advice to“Unhappy Girl?” Dear Abby, I’m 14 and I’m going out with a 21-year-old man. I think he loves me, and I know I really love him. He treats me really nice. But my parents don’t want me to go out with him – just because he’s older!They want me to stop seeing him.What should I do? Unhappy Girl Dear Unhappy Girl, 47 Name: _______________________________________ Date: _______________
  • 51. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ADULT-TEEN RELATIONSHIPS:WHAT’S APPROPRIATE? What’sYour Advice to“My Friend’s Friend?” Dear Abby, My roommate is dating a 16-year-old boy. It makes me very uncomfortable because she’s 21. I think it may be illegal for an adult to have intercourse with someone under 18. Can she be arrested? Anyway, I don’t know what she sees in such a young kid. Do you think there’s something wrong with her? Should I do anything about this? My Friend’s Friend Dear My Friend’s Friend, 48 Name: _______________________________________ Date: _______________
  • 53. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Discuss the difficulties of the icebreaker. Facilitate a classroom discussion with the following questions. • What was difficult about this activity? • For students who were successful at the Icebreaker activity, what tactics or skills did you use to make it easier for you and your partner? • How do you think this activity relates to communication? 2) GROUP ACTIVITY: • Explain to students that they will work in groups to evaluate a scenario that many students will face in their relationships. • Split classroom into two separate groups. • Explain to students that it will be their job to analyze the scenario and determine the position of each character in the story. o There are two versions of the scenario. Give each group a different version. Instruct groups to work separately and only to share their answers when directed. 3) CLASSROOM DISCUSSION: • Once students have had the opportunity to work through the scenarios, go over them as a class. • Specifically, address the slight differences between the scenarios. • Students should be aware that males are not the only ones that pressure their partners to have sex. Females can also be the aggressor in the relationship.You might ask students: o “How did you feel when you read the scenario whereTina was pressuring Justin to have sex?” o “What do you think this might say about gender roles and stereotypes in our society?” Question/Answer: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. • How is Justin andTina’s story like real life? • What“reasons to wait”might have the most impact on your friends and peers? • Looking at the reasons we have developed, what are the strongest reasons for you to wait to have sex when you are in a relationship. o NOTE:This final question can be used to personalize the lesson for the individual student.You may assign this as an independent home work activity or a journal assignment if you feel students are uncomfortable to share. Closing Summary: Effective communication is necessary in any relationship.Today, we identified how this can play a key role in making important decisions about sex. POSTPONING SEXUAL ACTIVITY Further QuestionsTo Consider: • Am I being clear with what I am saying? • Am I getting my point across? • Does my partner understand what I am saying? How is he/she reacting to the situation? 50
  • 54. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS POSTPONING SEXUAL ACTIVITY Postponing Sexual Activity Scenario Handout Scenario A: QuestionsTo DiscussWithinYour Group: 1)What does Justin want to do? 2)What doesTina want to do? 3) In your opinion, what do you think Justin andTina will do in this situation? Justin andTina have been seeing each other for seven months.Tina’s a seventh grader, and Justin is in eighth grade. Last Saturday night after a movie, things went pretty far.Tina got scared and told Justin to stop. Justin said that he lovedTina a lot and wanted to go all the way with her.Tina said she wanted to think about things first and asked to talk about whether or not to have sex later.What should Justin andTina do? 51 Name: _______________________________________ Date: _______________
  • 56. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION INITIATING CONVERSATION WITH A PARENT/GUARDIAN LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Pose initial question to students: • Raise your hand if you feel comfortable going to your parent(s)/guardian(s) for help when you have a problem. • Keep your hand raised if you feel comfortable talking to your parent(s)/guardian(s) about dating and relationships. • Finally, keep your hand raised if you have ever talked to your parent(s)/guardian(s) about dating or sex before. *You might need to modify exact word choice depending on students’responses. 2) Explain to students that effective communication with parents creates safe and strong family relationships. Even though talking about dating, puberty, and sex can be awkward and uncomfortable, our parent(s)/guardian(s) can be a valuable resource. 3) Initial Exercise: • Have students brainstorm reasons why they might find it difficult to talk to their parent(s)/guardian(s) about sex. Record their responses on flipchart paper. • Have students brainstorm possible solutions for their answers to the previous exercise. Record these on a second piece of flipchart paper. 4) Pass out the“Getting the Conversation Started”handout. • Students will practice different phrases/techniques for having uncomfortable conversations with their parent(s)/guardian(s). • Have students work in pairs and use handout to role-play different scenarios. • Observe students carrying out role-plays. Move around the room and offer suggestions as needed to help facilitate more effective conversations. 5) Pass out the“Back in the Day Homework Assignment”handout. • Instruct students that, for this assignment, they are to interview their parent(s)/guardian(s) about their experiences with sex education and relationships when they were teenagers. Closing Summary: Emphasize the importance of effective communication with a parent/guardian or trusted adult. Remind students to use their tips worksheet as a reference when initiating a conversation. Possible answers might be: o It’s embarrassing. o They might think you are having sex. o They will get mad at you. o They are too busy to have a conversation. o You don’t want them to know you are having sex (if you are). Possible solutions may include: o Write your questions, feelings, or desire to talk in a letter instead of asking in person o Use something you saw onTV or in a movie as a starting point o Remind them that you are just asking questions – you want to be informed. o Wait for a time when they are calm and not busy. o Tell them ahead of time that you need some time to talk about something important. 54
  • 57. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION INITIATING CONVERSATION WITH A PARENT/GUARDIAN Getting the Conversation Started Handout ThingsYou Might Do: • Find a time when your parent(s)/guardian(s) is/are not distracted or busy. It might be helpful to tell them ahead of time that you want to have a conversation. SUGGESTION: Make a date, set a time, and put it on your calendar. • Think about an activity that you really enjoy doing with your parent(s)/guardian(s). Participating in a fun activity can relieve some of the anxiety and stress of having an uncomfortable conversation. SUGGESTION: cooking, watching a movie, playing a game, exercising, or shopping. • Give your parent(s)/guardian(s) the handout“Back in the Day”, and have them complete it.When they are finished, you can discuss their answers and use them as a starting point for your own discussion. PhrasesYou Might Use: • “Hey Dad, I would like more information about…” • “Mom, can you tell me more about…” • “I have some questions I’d like to ask you about sex. It doesn’t mean I’m having sex; I just want to talk to you about it.” • “I saw this scene in a movie, and I was wondering what you thought of it.” • “We’ve been talking about __________ in school, and I was just wondering how you feel about this.” • “Hey Grandma, I love that we can talk about anything. Do you think you could answer some of my questions about sex?” Just Remember: • Be honest. Being completely open will help you develop trust and have confidence in asking your parent(s)/guardian(s) questions in the future. • Start out with some of your easier questions to get conversation flowing, and then ask your harder questions. • It’s okay to feel nervous.Your parent(s)/guardian(s) are probably nervous, too! • Be a good listener, too.You probably have a lot of questions, but remember to listen to your parent(s)’/guardian(s)’answers. • Don’t be discouraged if your first conversation doesn’t go perfectly. Effective communication is not a science, and developing comfort and ease when talking about sex takes time. Keep trying! • If your parent(s)/guardian(s) starts to lecture or yell, gently remind them that you’re just asking questions.   55
  • 58. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION INITIATING CONVERSATION WITH A PARENT/GUARDIAN Back in the Day Homework Assignment Directions: For this assignment, you will be interviewing your parent(s)/guardian(s) about their experiences with sex education and relationships when they were your age. Ask your parent(s)/guardian(s) each question, and then record their responses in the space provided. 1) What did you do in your free time when you were my age? 2) What did you want to become when you grew up? 3) What was your relationship like with your parent(s)/guardian(s)? 4) What did your parent(s)/guardian(s) teach you about puberty and body changes? 5) Did you have sex education or family life education in school? 6) How old were you when you fell in love? 7) What age do you think is the right age to have sex? 8) At what age do you think it would be best for me to get married? Have kids? 9) What do you want me to know about men/women? Parent/Guardian’s Signature: ___________________________________ Date: ________________ 56 Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________
  • 60. QUESTION/ANSWER: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. • Which behaviors were easiest to assign to a particular age?Which were the hardest?Why do you think this was so? • Why do you think there were such differences in the ages listed next to some behaviors? • How would you react if your parent(s)/guardian(s) listed a different age from one you gave? • Does gender affect the age you think is appropriate for certain behaviors? 4) Pass out the“Talking About Sexuality andValues – Parent/ Guardian Copy”handout to each student. • Instruct students to take handout home to his/her parent. • Students should save their answers from class (the teen copy handout). • Parents should complete this handout separately from their child. • When finished, parent(s)/guardian(s) and child should discuss their answers and responses to the questions. CLOSING SUMMARY: Today, we discussed many of our own family values. Having a clear idea of our personal values will help us to make good choices throughout our lives. Oftentimes, our values are closely aligned with our parent(s)’/ guardian(s)’values because we typically model our behavior after them. Continue this conversation about age-appropriate behavior at home with your parent(s)/guardian(s) to see how closely your values align with theirs. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION LESSON ACTIVITIES: Instructional Sequence: 1) Introduce the concept of values and mention the following points: • Values are learned, first from parent(s)/guardian(s), and then from others such as peers and friends. • Not everyone has the same values. • Adolescents will often challenge, question, or test the limits of the values that they have learned from their family. 2) Assemble small groups of 4-5 students, and instruct them to make a list of values they may already have. • For example, your parent(s)/guardian(s) have taught you that it’s unacceptable to cheat on a test, to be dishonest, or to take things that are not yours. • Have small groups share their lists with the rest of the class. Comment on similarities and differences between the lists. 3) Pass out“Talking About Sexuality andValues –Teen Copy” handout to each student. • Have students estimate the age at which they feel each listed behavior is age-appropriate and answer the reflection questions. • Have students share with the rest of the class the ages which they deem appropriate for certain activities. TALKING ABOUT SEXUALITY &VALUES *Modification option: If students are apprehensive about sharing certain information, you can have them anonymously complete the worksheet.Then, collect the handouts and redistribute randomly to classmates. Students volunteer saying answers written on their sheets. 58
  • 61. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION TALKING ABOUT SEXUALITY &VALUES Talking About Sexuality andValues –TEEN COPY Directions:Completethisformbywritingtheageatwhichyouwouldbecomfortableengaginginthelistedbehavior.Youwilldiscussyourresponses with the class, and later your parent(s)/guardian(s). REFLECTION QUESTIONS: Which behaviors were the easiest to assign an age to? Which behaviors were the hardest to assign an age to? When do you believe it is okay to… BEHAVIOR AGE Hold hands Kiss on the lips French kiss Go out in a group of friends Date Undress in front of a boyfriend/girlfriend Have sexual intercourse Live with someone without being married Marriage 59 Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________
  • 62. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION TALKING ABOUT SEXUALITY &VALUES Talking About Sexuality andValues – PARENT/GUARDIAN COPY Directions:Completethisformbywritingtheageatwhichyouwouldbecomfortableifyourpreteenorteenengagedtheactivity.Yourpreteen/teen has already filled in the ages at which he/she think the behavior is appropriate in class. Share and discuss your responses. REFLECTION QUESTIONS: Which behaviors were the easiest to agree on? Which behaviors were the hardest to agree on? By doing this activity, what have you learned about your teenager? When do you believe it is okay to… BEHAVIOR AGE Hold hands Kiss on the lips French kiss Go out in a group of friends Date Undress in front of a boyfriend/girlfriend Have sexual intercourse Live with someone without being married Marriage Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________ 60
  • 64. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION RESPONDINGTOYOUR ADOLESCENT LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Explain to students that often times teenagers experience many confusing emotions and feelings as they mature into adulthood.This is an indication of them growing up and transitioning from childhood into responsible young adults. 2) Say to students that many common teen behaviors, such as feelings of angst, sexual desires, or disobedience, can be sources of confusion and frustration for many parent(s)/guardian(s). Furthermore, the way that parent(s)/guardian(s)s respond to these situations can negatively impact your parent-child relationship and further alienate you from the elders in your life. 3) Distribute the“Evaluating Reasonable Adolescent Behavior”handout. • Explain to students that both their behavior and parent(s)’/guardian(s)’reactions will affect parent-child connectedness (PCC). • Inform students that they will be analyzing three different situations as a class. o Invite one student to read the first situation. o Paraphrase the situation, and discuss the following questions as a class.  Do you think the adolescent’s behavior is reasonable?  Do you agree or disagree with his parents’response?  How do you think the parents’response to the situation will affect the closeness between parent and teenager? What are some positive, realistic ways that the parents could have responded differently?  Conversely, how could the teenager have reacted differently? o Invite another student to read the second situation. Paraphrase the situation, and go through the above questions again. o Tell students that they have now completed two situations as a class. Instruct them to individually read the third situation. Have students find a partner and answer the same questions as you previously modeled for them. Project questions onto the board or write them on flipchart paper to remind students what they should be discussing with their partner. 4) Explain to students that all parent(s)/guardian(s) want the best for their children and are doing the best they can with what they currently know and understand about their children. • Keeping the conversation open with your parent(s)/guardian(s) will strengthen your relationship and allow them to gain a better understanding of you as a teenager. • Understand that your parent(s)/guardian(s) have difficult decisions to make as well. Be mindful of their perspectives.When you disagree with your parent(s)/guardian(s), invite them to have an honest conversation about the decisions they make that involve you. Question/Answer: Facilitate the following discussion questions with your class. • What are the most important things you have learned today? • What are your goals for your relationships with your parent(s)/guardian(s)? • What specific things are you going to do to respond better to your parent(s)’/guardian(s)’questions and behavior? • What possible suggestions could you make to your parent(s)/guardian(s) for them to respond to your behavior in a more understanding way? Closing Summary: Today, we looked at adolescent behavior and differentiated between“normal”adolescent behavior and irrational teenager decisions.We also examined how the different ways that parent(s)/guardian(s) react to situations can negatively affect our relationships with our elders. It can cause teenagers to be less likely to share information with their parents and likewise influence greater rebellious behavior. 62
  • 65. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION RESPONDINGTOYOUR ADOLESCENT EVALUATING REASONABLE ADOLESCENT BEHAVIOR: Situation 1:Tyree and his Parents Tyree never likes to go to bed when he’s supposed to. He’s now 15 and his parents have told him that he’s got to be in bed by 11:00 pm.Tyree thinks this rule is ridiculous! He says that a lot of the goodTV shows are just coming on at 11:00 pm.Tyree used to oversleep sometimes, but in the last three months he has gotten up on time and his last report card was very good. He did this to prove that he’s responsible. He asked his parents if he could just go to sleep when he gets tired. He said he would take responsibility for getting up on time and keeping his grades up.They told him that they would not be responsible parents if they let him stay up after 11:00 pm on school nights. However, they told him he could stay up as late as he wanted on Friday and Saturday night. Situation 2:Tamika and her Grandmother Tamika is 14. She has lived with her grandmother since she was five years old. Her grandmother is very strict and expectsTamika to follow her rules. They argue a lot about this.Tamika’s grandmother has told her that she is not to walk down to the corner store.Today, whenTamika’s grandmother got home from running errands,Tamika was nowhere to be found.Tamika came home a half an hour later with a bag of chips and a soda from the corner store. Her grandmother grounded her for a week and fussed the entire evening. Situation 3: Dad’s Law Robert will be 13 years old in a few months. His dad has always been very concerned about the way Robert dresses – especially for school. He has never bought Robert any baggy clothes and insists that he keep his shirts tucked in his pants neatly. Robert hates the way his dad makes him dress because the other kids are always teasing him. So when he gets to school, Robert pulls his shirt out. His dad goes crazy when Robert comes home looking sloppy. All Robert can say is,“It’s not fair. It’s not fair.”His dad replies,“Life isn’t fair.”One day after dinner Robert’s dad says,“I’ve been thinking that I’ve been kind of hard on you, son.You’re getting older and I know you want to make more of your own decisions. On your 13th birthday, I’m going to take you to the mall and let you buy some things you like.When we get to the store, I’m going to leave you completely alone while you pick out what you want and try it on.Then, you let me know when you’re ready to pay and I’ll meet you at the cash register.The only rule is that you can’t spend more than $70.” 63 Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________
  • 67. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION LESSON ACTIVITIES Instructional Sequence: 1) Briefly discuss students’answers to Icebreaker question. • Explain to class that today’s topic of discussion is about parent-child connectedness (PCC). • Provide definition for parent-child connectedness. 2) Facilitate whole-class group activity:“What does PCC look like?” • Ask students to brainstorm different factors that represent what a strong PCC might look like. • List students’ideas on flipchart paper. 3) Pass out“My RelationshipWith My Parent(s)/Guardian(s)”Handout. • Have students complete handout. • Facilitate classroom discussion with student answers. • Instruct students to determine what they can do to strengthen their parent-child connectedness within their own family. Closing Summary: Today, we learned about the importance of parent-child connectedness and developed a list of your suggestions for increasing PCC.The more open we are to having conversations with our parent(s)/guardian(s), the stronger our connection will be with our parent(s)/guardian(s). IMPROVING PARENT-CHILD CONNECTEDNESS Students might say: o Parent(s)/guardian(s) and child spend enjoyable time together. o They communicate freely and openly. o They trust each other. o Family conflict is at a low level. o They support each other and make an effort to accommodate one another’s needs. 65
  • 68. PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION IMPROVING PARENT-CHILD CONNECTEDNESS MY RELATIONSHIPWITH MY PARENT(S)/GUARDIAN(S) - HANDOUT 1) How would you describe your relationship with your parent(s)/guardian(s)? Do you get along, or do you feel as if you are constantly fighting? 2) What kinds of activities do you enjoy doing with your parent(s)/guardian(s)? 3) Do you spend a lot of one-on-one time with them? 4) Do you feel closer to your mom or dad?Why do you think this is so? 5) Who would you talk to if you had a question about sex or dating?Your mom, dad, sibling, or friend? 6) What are some specific ideas that you have to increase your PCC with your own parent(s)/guardian(s)? 7) Pick one of the suggestions above, and give a concrete example of how you will make this happen and when. 66 Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ______________