2. 70%of our waking hours are spent in different
forms of communication
3. Of this percentage:
9% is spent on writing.
16%is spent on reading.
30%is spent on talking.
45%is spent on listening.
4. Researchers claim that 75%of oral communication is ignored,
misunderstood, or quickly forgotten.
5. The Communication Process:
There must be at least 2 people involved in any communication:
1. SENDER- the person speaking or sending
the message to another person or group of people.
2. RECEIVER- the person being spoke to or
receiving the message being sent.
6. Communication Styles
There are three types of communication styles, one of them is far more
effective than the other two.
ASSERTIVE - communication that is honest, direct
expression of self which does not put down or ignore other person
in the relationship. Assertiveness happens as part of a
relationship rather than an individual act and is an example of win /
win communication where both individuals are winners.
7. Communication Styles
PASSIVE - communication that either ignores
experience of self or dishonest expression in a
relationship. Passive occurs in relationships rather
than individual acts and is an example of win/lose
communication where the passive person is the
loser.
8. Communication Styles
AGGRESSIVE – communication that may be
dishonest but is expressed in a way that hurts, puts
down, ignores or controls other people and their
experience. Aggressiveness occurs in relationships
rather than as an individual act and is an example of
a win/lose communication where the non aggressor
loses.
10. Effective Communication
The things we say, the responses we make, set the tone
for every conversation we are involved in.
Positive communication involves door
openers (constructive)
11. Door Opener Examples:
“It sounds like you’re sad about...”
“It seems unfair that...”
“You look worried about...”
13. Door slammer examples
“You don’t know anything”
“Who do you think you are”
“If you had any sense at all...”
Why do you think they called “door openers and slammers”?
14. Barriers:
These things can get in the way when you
communicate:
1. Body Language – what is your body saying when
talking to someone. Is your arms crossed? This means
you are closed to ideas. You will learn more about this
in the next lesson.
2. Noise, distractions – It can be hard to have a
serious conversation in a loud restaurant or while the
TV is on. When communicating, think about the
environment around you.
15. Barriers:
These things can get in the way when you communicate:
3. Multiple meanings – Have you ever said something and
someone took it the wrong way? A perfect example of
multiple means is Amelia Bedelia:
“In Merry Christmas, Amelia Bedelia, Amelia is making
cakes and pies for the family to eat. On the list is a date cake.
After a moment of pondering where to get dates on such
short notice, Amelia finds a calendar, clips out all of the
dates and dumps them into her cake batter. That's a
lawsuit waiting to happen, Amelia Bedelia!
"10 Amelia Bedelia-isms." Mental Floss. Web. 19 Aug. 2014.
16. Barriers:
These things can get in the way when you communicate:
4. Mixed signals – your words might be saying one
thing, but your body language is conveying
something else. This also includes the saying, “do as
I say, not as I do”.
5. Stereotyping – doing and saying things based on
assumption or an oversimplified conception or
belief. For example, someone might speak really
loud to someone who does not speak English as their
first language.
6. Prejudice – making assumptions and having an
attitude about people based on race, culture, gender,
or physical appearance.
17. Barriers:
These things can get in the way when you communicate:
7. Accusations – when accusing someone it makes
them feel guilty without being able to say their side
of the story
8. Poor timing - think about timing when wanting
to talk to someone. When is it a good time to talk
to your parents about something serious?
9. Attitude – Have you ever heard your parents say,
cut out the attitude? Think about HOW you say
something.
18. Techniques for Communicating Effectively
We know what not to do when communicating, let’s learn what to
do!
1. Use I messages
2. Keep responses short
3. Slow down, verbally
4. Deepen your voice - do not whine
5. Monitor tone of voice
6. Watch non-verbal messages
19. I - Messages
I – messages are used during those difficult times
when you must assert yourself and confront
someone about his/her unacceptable behavior so
that a solution to the problem can be negotiated.
20. I-Messages Allow You To:
Confront people in a positive way.
Be open, honest, and straightforward about a
person’s unacceptable behavior.
Avoid putting people on the defensive.
Appeal for help in solving the problem.
Communicate ownership of the problem.
23. YOU MESSAGE
YOU MESSAGES are ineffective because they
concern language that sounds abrasive, judgmental,
condescending, or injurious to the self esteem of the
person being confronted
24. YOU MESSAGES
Make people feel guilty
Interpreted as blame, put downs, criticism, and
rejections
Show a lack of respect
Damages self esteem to the recipient
Makes a person feel hurt and resentful
25. How would this make you feel?
“You lazy bum! All you ever want to do is watch football.
Take the trash out this minute”
“You kids are acting like wild animals”
“You are such a slob. I will never let you do a project in
the kitchen again”
