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A workshop I developed for Resident Assistants at Stonehill College to help them identify Bullying in the residence halls, and provide them with tools to help promote a safe living and learning environment.
ChristinaA LOT of the bullying we hear about isn’t physical or even verbal abuse…Its this stuff we call relational aggression – a type of bullying/aggression where the goal is to destroy friendships and social standing – happens online and in personExclusion, rumors, gossip, ganging up, etc. RUMORS are the big one….
Always remember – people will say anything about anyoneThis girl is a model in AustraliaThey called her fat - obviously NOT TRUE..People and bullies will make up anything to make you feel badDon’t buy it!!!
So now let’s talk about bystanders…The audience that says/does nothingIt’s not easy but it’s really important that you stand up against this stuffWhen you don’t you only help the bully and their friendsWhat to do???Walk away – bullies LIKE audiencesHelp the victim get away – “I need your help.” “ I have a question for you.” “Come here for a second.”Show the victim support – maybe they’re not your BFF, but you can be nice and not just pretend you don’t know what’s happeningCall the bully out – “that’s not cool” – not always easy – don’t want bully to turn on you, maybe they are your friend, but it will make a big difference to the person being targeted
ChristinaAnd let’s be real… it’s not all cyberbullying, and sometimes what starts as CB can morph into conflict Probably because like CB’s may feel more powerful online, so do other people (victims)almost half of the students we talk to say cyberbullying usually starts as bullying but turns into a fightIt is a LOT EASIER to confront online!
Christina – Options to resolving conflict.... (Mediations, Floor Meetings, Get Support, etc...)So, before you let it turn into a fight – online or off…What are other ways you can deal with it??Talk to the person – “what’s up”If you think you got a nasty text, thought a status update was about you, or someone told you someone said something about you – ask yourself what else could it mean? (hackers, they gave pw or login to someone, misinterpreted, maybe someone made up them talking about you…)Write about it – get it out on paperWait 24 hours before you text, post, or flip outAsk yourself, is it actually worth fighting over?Vent about it – talk to someone about it, exercise, play with the dog, punch a pillow
We have to talk about the web….
You need to start thinking about your profile like your billboard – can you control who sees it?? NOSo, what do you want on it? GOOD STUFF – good grades, involved in activities, help old ladies across street w/ groceries, volunteer at the animal shelter…How would this make you look?? Maybe your friends think you’re tough, but what do other people think when they see it?
- How many friends do you have? Average on FB is 130- Do you know them all?- How easy is it to right click, copy, & paste?Your friends can join you into any group they want without your knowledge or permission – what if that got you in trouble?In January 2010, 28 middle school students in Seattle were suspended for joining a Facebook page dedicated to harassing one of their classmates. They can show it to anyone or share it… to other people they know, marketers, etc.They can geotag you – anyone could know where you areThey can tag you in photosMeet Josh – he injured a woman driving drunk, but it was his 1st offense and he was supposed to get probation. Then he dressed up as a jailbird at a party and he was tagged in this photo on FB. Prosecutor sees the photo, gets mad, and the boy gets 3 years in jail. They could show it to anyone they want!FRIENDS HAVE A LOT OF POWER – think when friending!
Girl on the left was assumed by her boss to be drinking beer in this photo and she was fired. (she said it was diet coke.)
Criminal harassment – stalking, harassing, bothering more than once can be considered criminal harassment – this law is often applied in bullying casesBullying CAN be a civil rights violationYou CANNOT take a picture of someone in a place where they can expect privacy (bathroom, locker room, etc.)They have to KNOW that you are videoingIf bullying could be a crime, the school HAS to report it
- And if you are sharing your tooth brush, that’s nasty and you need to stop
Bullying & The Role of the Resident Assistant
Bullying, Cyberbullying & CyberSecurity:
THE ROLE OF THE RA
Information you NEED to know!
Define Bullying & the difference between
Identify Helping Skills you can use with your
Provide you with resources and ways to be an
Understand the “publicness” of the Internet and
Understand that privacy does not exist on the
can learn a lot...
can learn A LOT about you!!!
do you want them to know???
Stuff that makes you
What about your “friends”???
What about your “friends”???
He was tagged can join you
They can tag
in a photogroup they want - &
without your permission.
you in photos
A STRONG password:
What do your apps know
Check them at 8 you?ever week
At online is
NOTHINGleast least once a really
Upper case, lower case, numbers, and
Which is more secure??
Offering Advice ???
• Being Empathetic
• Being Open
• Being Real
• Having High Integrity
• Being an Experiencer of Life
• Having Good Emotional Health
• Being an Alliance Builder
• Being Competent
Is it fair for
adults to judge
really get in
you on your
• Invasive? Maybe.
• Fair? It’s public information. The
person who posts it is making it public.