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Hockey Feature: New
Class Level, Same Goal
Cheap Clothes for Broke
People -- Like Me
Student Work Featuring Art
Photo by Reid Elattrache
Volume 3 Issue 3
Peters Township High School
264 East McMurray Road
McMurray, PA 15317
Meet the Staff
Special Features Editor
Life & Style Editor
Layout Editor-in -Chief
Online Editor-in- Chief
Smoke Signals Staff
Smoke Signals is produced six times a
school year by Media II, III, and IV Journalism students. The staff adviser is Mrs.
Sitler. Commentaries, reviews, and opinion columns are the expressed opinion of
the author and not of Smoke Signals, its
advisor, or the Peters Township School
4-5 PT Focus
Hockey: New Class Level,
AP Images Martin Mejia
10-11 Life and Style
AP Images Julie Jacobson
14-15 People Features
16-17 Valentine’s Day
A Day in the Life of Cupid
20-21 News Features
Movie: The Woman in Black
22-23 Student Work
AP Images LionsGate
Table of Contents
Language Trips: Peru
Will The Hard Work Pay Off?
Junior Lauren Thomas is the current alternate for the
PTHS Varsity Dance Team. With the Universal Dance Association (UDA) National Dance Team Championship (NDTC)
quickly approaching, Lauren must juggle long, grueling practices with both Junior Varsity and Varsity.
Since the beginning of the school year, both teams have
been practicing three times a week with random “all-day practices” to prepare for various competitions. Being the alternate,
Lauren had to attend all practices for both teams. She learned
each routine and was prepared to fill in at any given moment for
an injured Varsity dancer, while still dancing regularly with her
teammates on JV.
There was no guarantee that Lauren would get the
chance to dance with the Varsity team at a local competition, let
alone at Nationals in February. However, at the regional UDA
competition in early December, Varsity dancer Liz Hall injured
her knee and Lauren was called-up.
“I was nervous because I didn’t want to let the team
down. It was a big opportunity and I was excited and happy,”
She learned all of Liz’s parts and spots in the routine
and was able to fabulously execute the dance just as a Varsity
member would. This occurred for the next competition, Steel
City Cup, as well. Both times, Lauren danced with the JV girls,
then ran off stage and made a quick change into the Varsity costume just in time to perform with the team. Lauren helped contribute to the first place medals that JV and Varsity earned.
At the start of the New Year, Varsity started to pick up
more and more practice time. Out of the thirty-one days in January, the girls danced for twentyfour of them. They had intense
practices and performed at various boys basketball games and
wrestling matches. JV also performed at these events and had
practices, both alternating with
“It’s really hard to balance. I have to plan my time
wisely and stay up late to do
school work,” said Lauren.
Nationals is the biggest
event of Dance Team’s year. EvSubmitted photo
erything they do throughout the
year relates back to the common goal: winning. Lauren would be
thrilled with the opportunity to dance with the other girls on the
Nationals floor in Disney World’s Wide World of Sports. However,
with the opportunity comes an unfortunate injury to one of her
“As bad as I would like to dance for Varsity, I wouldn’t
want anyone to get hurt,” said Lauren.
Either way, Lauren will be dancing at the UDA NDTC
with one of the teams. Whether it be Varsity or JV, she is willing to
work hard to achieve the common goal, winning.
New Class Level, Same Goal
The Peters Township Indians bumped up
class levels from Double-A
to Triple-A this year. That
puts Peters’ hockey in the
same league as rivals CanonMac, Upper St. Clair, Bethel
Park, and Mt. Lebanon. Although the Indians are facing different competition
this year, the goal remains
“Every year we only
have one goal: to win the
Penguin Cup. Anything else
is considered a failure,” said
senior captain Cole Snyder.
The road to this
year’s Penguin Cup definitely
will not be an easy one. With
the class level change, the
competition level increases.
Defeating teams such as the
Big Macs or the Blue Devils
will undoubtedly be a dif-
ficult feat. Canon-Mac looks
dominant right now, with
a threatening offense and a
tough goal tender.
“There are plenty of
good teams in the league this
year, but we are still confident
we have the ability to defeat
any opponent,” said junior
Predicting the future
of the Indians in the playoffs
is certainly a challenge, mainly
because of some inconsistencies on the ice. Sometimes PT
plays to the level of fierce opponents such as Mt. Lebanon and
Canon-Mac. On other days,
the team looks entirely out of
sorts against weaker competition such as Bethel Park. Once
the Indians can find a way to
consistently gel on the ice, the
team may find themselves in
contention for the Penguin
If the Indians are to
win the Penguin Cup this year,
a couple factors must be in order. First, sophomore goalie
Brian Baker has to be on top
of his game all postseason. Statistically, Baker ranks as one
of the best goalies of the 20112012 PIHL AAA season. However, it will be interesting to see
how he matches up against consistently strong shooters.
(Continued on page 7)
Photo by Austin Chapell
Senior Davan Groom backhands the puck to the net against the Seneca Valley
February 2012 7
Under Review: Should Sidney Crosby Return or Retire?
JohnGalatic.PrintEditor-in-Chief & TaylorCox.StaffWriter
AP Images Gene J. Puskar
JG: Sidney Crosby
should retire early and enjoy
the rest of his life in style after
being absent for the better part
of last year. His playing time
has been inconsistent this season. After numerous concussions throughout his whole life,
Sid’s brain cannot withstand
much more damage. Obviously, the game of hockey becomes
exponentially more exciting
when one of the best players of
all time is out on the ice. It is
truly amazing how well Crosby has performed in the few
games he was healthy enough
to play. However, at a certain
point, the physical well-being
of the individual must overrule
the impact of the player. Everyone knows Crosby wants to see
From page 6
“I will have to play with high
intensity and fight to the finish,
and as long as the team makes
the smart and simple plays we
can beat anyone,” said Baker.
Second, the Indians
are going to need a dark horse.
On any winning team, one player really needs to step-up during the postseason. My guess
for the position is senior Davan
Groom. Groom possesses great
speed and agility on the ice and
has an impressive mental aspect
of the game. He seems to know
the game very well and rarely
ends up in the penalty box. In
addition, he can fire a quick
wrist shot towards the net, and
is able to set up scoring plays.
himself play for the Penguins
again, but his judgment may be
clouded by his passion for the
game and his recent. Any fan
who wants to see Sidney Crosby
out on the ice is selfish and uncaring.
TC: Sidney Crosby
should not retire after this
season. Although Crosby has
only played in a few games,
he has had a major impact
on the team. Playing in only
eight games this year, Crosby
recorded twelve points compiling two goals and ten assists. He is one of the premier
superstars of today. The NHL
obviously does not want to
lose their golden child; the
popularity of hockey has rested on Crosby’s shoulders since
he was drafted. Crosby has
likely made more than enough
money from both his playing
salary and endorsement deals
with Reebok, Bell, Tim Hortons and Gatorade. It’s obvious that Crosby’s retirement
would have a huge impact on
the game of hockey and would
leave people wondering if he
could have been the best hockey player of all-time. There has
yet to be a doctor to tell him
to retire. Crosby, being only
twenty-four years old, has
plenty of time to recover from
JG: Oh, that’s right. I
seem to have forgotten that we
live in a world where personal
desires come before the life of
a badly injured young man.
My bad. I wish there was a font
for sarcasm. Crosby has had
incredible success throughout
his career. He has already won
a Stanley Cup. Does he really
need to risk his livelihood in
order to do more than that?
What Sidney Crosby has done
in his career so far is what most
hockey players never accomplish in their lifetimes. Also, the
unbelievable amount of money
he has made is just another reason why he should retire. Crosby could start living his golden
years early and enjoying life
instead of constantly worrying
about how another hard hit to
his head could destroy his mental stability. I simply hope Sidney Crosby carefully weighs his
options: live it up on a beach in
Jamaica, or possibly die. Wow.
What a tough decision.
TC: Concussion specialists who have been treating
Crosby since he was knocked
out of action in early January
of last year said they do not
believe he will suffer any longterm effects from the injuries,
but they are taking a cautious
approach in terms of a return
to play. Even if he doesn’t play
Next, the Indians
need their Rowdy Red student
section. The fans recharge the
team when things look bleak.
Although the student section
sometimes gets slightly out of
control, the players need to
hear their loyal fans to motivate
them to play harder.
to help the team on and off
the ice. On the ice, the trio
has to work on setting up
plays and keeping the team
in check. Off the ice, they
need to work on keeping the
team focused and motivated.
There is nothing worse than
an unmotivated team.
“A major thing to
do is make sure everyone is
focused during practices,
because it will lead to focus
during games. Also, we need
to spend more time together
as a team to promote chemistry on and off the ice,” said
“I think it really means
a lot to the players that I would
show up to cheer them on,” said
senior Park Bogan.
Lastly, the Indians
must receive assistance from
their playmakers. Senior leaders Cole Snyder, Taylor Cox,
and Aaron McDonough need
the rest of the year, Crosby
will always be remembered
in Pittsburgh. Penguin’s fans,
NHL fans, and anybody who
loves sports should be hoping that Crosby returns. The
money factor is irrelevant;
Crosby loves to play hockey.
He would rather play then
have to retire, and think of
what he can accomplish if he
plays. You are right, he does
have a Stanley Cup ring and a
gold medal, but just like every
other hockey player, and he is
not satisfied with just one. I
say let him keep playing and
whatever happens to him happens. Crosby retiring would
be one of the worst moments
in sports history.
AP Images Alan Diaz
Photo by Reid Elattrache
Or Police Brutality?
JG: It is a policeman’s job to protect the public, which was potentially in
danger when Jamie Gonzalez
brought a gun into school.
After requesting that he drop
his weapon, the young man
refused to back down.
“He had the weapon
in his hand and he pointed
the weapon at the officers,”
explained Brownsville Police
Detective Jose Trevino (ABCNews.com).
In a world where
school ground shootings are
becoming more frequent, assuming the best in an armed
youth is not an option. Maybe
Gonzalez had not shot the gun
yet, but the police men had no
clue what his next move would
What most people do
not understand is that police
officers are trained to shoot
and kill, not simply injure the
culprit. When an entire school
is in danger, a policeman must
put the safety of the school
before the life of a dangerous
delinquent. No matter what
the situation, when a gun is
pointed at a cop, that police
officer is required to react.
Perhaps three shots may seem
a bit like overkill, but when the
heart is beating rapidly and
the adrenaline is flowing, defense becomes a priority. The
policemen are not to blame
here. Blame the inattentive
parents who allowed their kid
to bring a pellet gun to school.
Student Jamie Gonzalez
CM: Although Jamie
Gonzalez initially made the
wrong decision to bring in the
pellet gun to school, his death
is not justified. This fifteen year
old boy was fatally shot and
he never even pulled the trigger. Gonzalez refused to put
the gun down, so he was shot
three times: one to the back of
the head which fatally wounded him. Although he refrained
from giving up the weapon, the
two police officers wrongly decided to fire their guns and kill
the young boy. If in fact shots
were necessary, one was more
“Why was so much
excess force used on a minor?
Why three shots? Why not one
that would bring him down,”
said Gonzalez Sr. according to
the Associated Press.
As the parents and so
many others are left with questions, it has been confirmed
that the shots were legally justified. Lingering is the question
of why both the officers fired
their guns when one shot from
a single officer would have been
enough to wound and bring
“I think it’s terrible
that the boy was shot in the
head. He was fifteen and never
even fired the gun. Death was
definitely not the answer for
Gonzalez Jr.,” stated senior Erica Gretz.
The police officer
who fired the bullet that killed
Gonzalez should be punished
for his actions. Numerous people including his parents and
friends continue to fight to defend Gonzalez’s death, and as
this occurs, it raises question
as to what factors justify police
Broncos’ quarterback Tim Tebow might possibly be the
most criticized player in the NFL. But does he really deserve all of
this criticism? Since taking over for Kyle Orton after the fifth game
of the season, Tebow has posted an 8-4 record and already has one
playoff victory under his belt. In that playoff game, he set a franchise record for highest passer rating in a game and an NFL record
for yards per completion in a contest. If those do not contribute to
the making of a successful quarterback then I don’t know what will.
Tebow has struggled in the beginning of most games, but
his performance at the end of each game makes up for it. Tebow has
a handful of fourth quarter comebacks and has given his team the
opportunity to win in overtime. Great quarterbacks have always
performed at their best in the final moments of the game; we can
compare Tebow to some of the all time greats like Joe Montana
and John Elway because of his ability to perform well during clutch
time. Tebow has found a way to channel all of his critic’s sour words
The Broncos’ quarterback feeds off of negativity and uses
it to motivate him and his teammates. This is another sign of a great
NFL signal caller. He inspires his teammates to go out every week
and do whatever it takes to get the win. Defeating the Pittsburgh
Steelers in the first round of the playoffs who arguably have the
best defense in the league also contributes to his reputation. Sure,
the game did go into overtime, but he threw an eighty yard touchdown pass on the first play to win the game and leave Steeler Nation heartbroken.
Tebow is quite vocal about his faith. He can be found
kneeling and praying, referred to now as “Tebowing,” multiple
times during a game. He also credits his success to God and he
makes that point well known. However, his openness about his beliefs has led to numerous people bashing him. However, I frankly
do not understand why he deserves all of this criticism. He stands
behind what he believes in and does not care what people think.
His faith is a major part of his life, and according to him, a major
part of his success. He even spends his summer vacations going on
mission trips to third world countries. Tebow is a genuinely good
person and he does not deserve to be bashed in the way that he is.
Tim Tebow is someone that we can all look to as a role model.
AP Images Julie Jacobsen
Tebow prays before the start of a game. “Tebowing is a huge Phenomenon,” stated senior Grant Taylor.
Senioritis Strikes Back
As the first semester
winds to a close, teachers and
parents of high school students
are carefully preparing for the
epidemic. No, not Bieber Fever
or Swine Flu which have both,
thankfully, been eradicated save
for a few freshmen victims. The
disease that is closing in on
upperclassmen is much more
dangerous. It’s Senioritis.
The illness affects
seniors--and some especially
lethargic juniors--every year.
It’s a rare pandemic that
scientists and over-achievers
alike struggle to explain. Signs
of Senioritis start off small, a
missed homework assignment
here, a tardy there. However,
before the word “graduation”
even occurs to most faculty
already claimed its victims.
Symptoms include wearing
sweatpants and/or tracksuits
four days a week, excessive trips
to Taco Bell, glazed eyes, the
rationalizing of failing grades
and an overuse of the phrase, “I
just don’t really care anymore.”
This crippling disease
can take hold of even the
brightest of students. Many
become so infected that
they try to blame others for
their sickness.Shouts of, “My
the government are such Dick
Cheneys for making me go to
school!”, are frequently heard in
the halls. While some methods
may alleviate the disease such
as, long-term groundings,
college rejections and parental
threats of Guantanamo Bay
imprisonment, there is but one
true cure: graduation.
I personally have
been a victim of this horrifying
illness since around October.
Not a day passes in which I
don’t ask myself questions like,
“Why am I here?”, “Have they
ever reconsidered renaming the
school Peters Township Juvenile
Detention Center?”, “Who can
I copy that homework from?”,
and “Why can’t we wear pajama
pants/Snuggies/ Forever Lazys
Senior McKenzie Fritz jumps for joy in her Forever Lazy, on the senior
benches. “I think the Forever Lazy gives me a touch of casual elegance. I su
gest everyone invest in one,” stated Fritz.
on casual Fridays?”. I think the severity of my ailment truly struck
me after watching a weekday twenty-four hour marathon of The
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in which I only moved from my
sprawled position on the couch twice. The fact that I even had the
will to count my movements astounds me.
At such an advanced stage of the disease, I believe it is fair
to say that even Stevie Wonder can see that I’m a goner. Now as
spring approaches and the faint light at the end of the tunnel grows
ever closer, twelfth graders will be itching in anticipation. While
many dream of that fateful day when they finally get to throw
their caps into the air, for most it is still just a far off mirage. While
graduation is only four months away, there’s still a lot of Senioritis
to sift through.
The Entertainment Must List
With the Entertainment Must List, you can easily keep
up with the best in pop culture—the movies, sports, music, food,
books, etc. that should not be overlooked, even if they do not top
the charts on iTunes or at the box office. Look for a new issue of
the list in every news magazine article and you can become a pop
Mylo Xyloto by Coldplay: In Coldplay’s most upbeat
and cheerful album to date,
Chris Martin, the band’s front
man, sings lyrics that strike the
soul. The most popular single
“Paradise” features a hypnotizing chorus, but the less popular
songs do wonders for the album
and show how much Coldplay
has progressed. Check out:
“Hurts like Heaven,” “Up With
the Birds,” and “Don’t Let it
Break Your Heart.”
The Descendants: Nominated
for five Oscars, the recent film
set in Hawaii is surprisingly not
overrated at all. Every amount
of praise the cast—including
The Secret Life of the American
AP Images Mark J. Terrill
Teenager’s Shailene Woodley—
and director Alexander Payne have received is much deserved.
Woodley’s performance was stunning, and George Clooney did not
disappoint; with his opening monologue about paradise, he captured audiences for the entire picture.
Suburgatory on ABC: This new show on ABC is a great
comedy about a city girl moved to the suburbs—and hating the
switch. The show’s portrayal of the suburban town is so ridiculous
it’s funny. In addition, the show is strangely relatable…
Moe’s Southwest Restaurant and Grill: Welcome to
Moe’s! That’s a sentiment that never gets old. The South of the
border themed restaurant has excellent tacos, enchiladas, burritos,
tortillas, quesadillas, etc. There are locations in both Washington
and Market Square.
ChildishGambino: Donald Glover on
Community=amazing. Donald Glover as a rapper= even more
amazing (if possible). He just released his album Camp back in
November. Buy it now, you will not regret it!
Zumba: This fun new dance style is an option for those
who are sick of yoga. You can go to Alexander’s Gym on Mondays
at 7:30 PM and be taught by Mrs. Degnan. Only $10 a class!
James Neal: Without much of Sidney Crosby, this season
for the Penguins has been pretty rough. Luckily though, the second
year player James Neal is fun to watch and improving all the time.
Neal recently played in the NHL All-Star game, and even managed
to score a goal.
Life & Style
From the Runway, to the Hallway
fashionistas catch the
eye of girls and
guys alike while
making our hallways into their
own personal runways. With their
sense and style,
our fellow classmates can look to
these girls for their
Must Have Item?
Item to Splurge
Shopping Survival Guide
Broke People, Like Me
Let’s face it,
one trip to the mall can
result in your wallet or
bank account becoming
completely empty. With
the steep prices at most
designer stores, it is easy
to overlook the cash you
have spent until you are
completely broke. If you
are like me, stopping the
spending craze can be difficult, but luckily, there
are a few tips to make it
#1: Go shopping
with a friend that is also
into saving money. If you
both set a goal of minimizing spending, it will
be easier to resist buying
everything in sight. A perk of
this tactic is a good number of
stores have two for one deals, or
buy one get one fifty percent off.
Split the final price with your
friend and you both get the
clothes for less. Also, if you tend
to shop with cash, only take a
small amount to the mall. If you
take all of your money, it will be
gone by the time you leave. If
possible, lean towards shopping
with cash. Studies show that
shoppers that use cash spend
eight to twelve percent less than
those that shop with some type
of card (wisebread.com).
#2: An additional tip
is to shop with a purpose or list
the items you are shopping for.
This limits the amount of un-
necessary clothes purchased.
Furthermore, do not buy the
same types of clothes you already have. For example, I have
way too many striped tops in
my closet so I try to steer clear
of them so I do not waste my
money on more.
#3: Online shopping
is another option that replaces
the typical mall shopping spree.
Websites like Forever 21, Body
Central, Macy’s, and numerous others always have a larger
clearance section that includes
many more styles than those
that can be found in stores. The
only downside to this option is
the cost of shipping, but some
websites do not require fees
if you spend more than a set
amount. Ebates is a phenomenal website that offers cash back when shopping online. Before you
begin your shopping, visit
the Ebates website, signup,
and navigate to the store. It
is definitely a worthwhile
internet search. The only
downside is not all stores
are offered on this site.
“I never expected to find so many cute
clothes and good deals on
the Forever 21 and Body
Central websites. I was so
surprised and I will definitely be online shopping
there more often,” stated
senior, Kristen Jacobs.
Snack Sense: Trade up for
In our culture, snacking is often frowned upon and
viewed as unhealthy. This can be accurate if the only snacks you
ever reach for are chips, cookies, and chocolate. However, eating
small meals throughout the day regulates the body’s metabolism
and helps to avoid overeating at meals. The key to smart snacking is to fuel your body with nutrient rich foods that will keep
you full for longer. Foods that are processed or high in sugar may
seem satisfying at first, but will leave you wanting more. Adding
a periodic eating plan to your daily routine, consisting of five to
seven small meals, will result in a healthier lifestyle.
Fruits and veggies are obvious smart choices when it
comes to snacking. Using peanut butter is an easy way to jazz
this snack up, as long as it is kept to about two tablespoons. Also,
a handful of mixed nuts is a more savory way to satisfy mid–day
hunger. However, be sure to grab the unsalted option to keep
excess sodium intake down. Almonds are an especially great
choice as they are packed with fiber and heart healthy fats. Furthermore, low-fat yogurt is another smart snack that will keep
you full. Throwing in granola is a good way to add crunch, flavor,
and fiber. Finally, hummus spread on pita chips or crackers is a
flavorful substitute for chips and dip.
Photos by Carly Beck
Although Giant Eagle is typically the go-to for groceries, Trader Joe’s, a new specialty grocery store, was put in on
Washington Road just up from the Galleria. While it is small in
size, the store is packed with interesting items and numerous organic options. Trader Joe’s offers a large amount of frozen and
dried fruits, great for cereal toppings. A display filled with a vast
selection of protein/power bars will fulfill that on-the-go breakfast need. Also, the store has an entire aisle full of nut and trail
mix assortments, in which everyone is assured to find a combination they will love. The trip to Trader Joe’s may take a bit
longer than to the local Giant Eagle, but stocking up on healthy
snacks every month or two is worth the time.
The average nail painting styles can be boring and too simple at times. To spice up your nails, try
the four following techniques and your nails will look
amazing without even visiting a salon.
After adding drops of nail polish to a bowl
of luke warm water, swirl the nail polish into a design
and dip your finger into it, nail face down. Be sure to
put scotch tape around, underneath, and on the sides
of your nail to keep nail polish off your finger. Hold
your finger in the water for two to three seconds then,
with a toothpick, remove the excess nail polish from
The base coat for this type
needs to be a white, tan or light
pink. Let the nails dry then soak
each individual nail in rubbing alcohol for five to ten seconds. Lay a
piece of newspaper on the nail for
about a minute after soaking it in
the alcohol. The words on the newsPhoto By Michelle paper will transfer over to your
nails. Be sure to use a clear top coat.
To start off, paint the nails white and get as
many bright colored nail polishes as you can. Pour a
small amount of the colored nail polishes separately
onto a palette and add some polish thinner to them.
(Thinner can be purchased at a drug store.) Wrap
scotch tape around your finger. Dip a small paint
brush into one of the colors and splatter it into your
nails. When you get the amount of splatters you desire, switch to the next color and do the same thing.
Begin with a base coat
of any color you like. After putting on a base coat and letting it
dry, cut pieces of scotch tape to
whatever thickness you prefer.
Paint over the tape with a thinner polish to make the stripes.
Carefully pull the tape off and
apply a top coat.
Photo By Katie Finn
The Steel City Becomes the “In” City
Although some may not believe it, Pittsburgh’s complexity stretches past the Steelers and the Penguins. It not only has
set the scene for some major Hollywood film productions, but it has been named the “most livable city” in the United States in
2011, as it was in 1985. The city also took tenth place for the most livable cities in 2009. The 2011 Global Livability Rankings
ranked each city on 30 factors in the categories of stability, health care, education, infrastructure and culture, and environment.
Pittsburgh claimed the top spot with a solid 92.3 score. Pittsburgh was one of only two U.S. places to be included in National
Georgraphic’s “The Best Trips of the World 2012.” According to National Geographic, Pittsburgh is “one reinvented city” and
has a “wealth of fine art and architecture.” The Steel City is also the new “In” city of 2012. According to the Washington Post,
Pittsburgh has that honor due to its breathtaking scenery, artwork, walking and biking trails, the reasonable rent, food, and,
most importantly, the people.
It’s a (ADJECTIVE) Sunday morning in the ‘Burgh and
(ADJECTIVE) Stiller fans are getting aht of the house and getting
As Pittsburgh begins to evolve into the new “Hollywood,” stars have taken to the streets of our beloved ‘Burgh.
Tom Cruise and his family have been spotted multiple times
walking around downtown, as well as Emma Watson. Anne
Hathaway was seen exercising and some lucky people got a
glimpse of Christian Bale filming the up and coming movie,
“The Dark Knight Rises.” Pittsburgh is becoming the fresh,
new movie capital and star sightings will gradually become
more common to “yin’s Pittsburghers.” The following movies were filmed in Pittsburgh:
their gear together for the big game at 1 o’clock. After everyone puts
on their (PLAYER) jerseys, they are either rushing Dahntahn to
(VERB) and tailgate or to the store to fill their buggys with (PLURAL NOUN) and (PLURAL NOUN). Flooding into Heinz Field,
Pittsburghers claim their seats and whip out their Terrible Towels.
On the first drive of the game, Ben gets sacked (NUMBER) times and
throws a total of (NUMBER) completed passes for a total of (NUMBER) yards. The Stillers lose by a score of (NUMBER) to (NUMBER)
and they end their season in the playoffs once again. Fair-weather
One Shot- 2013
Love and Other Drugs- 2010
The Perks of Being a Wallflower- 2012
I Am Number Four- 2010
they have the (ADJECTIVE) team in the NFL. Others know they will
always have the (ADJECTIVE) Penguins to turn to and get a win. So
The Next Three Days- 2010
as fans (VERB) the Liberty Bridge and head back to the (PLACE)
Inspector Gadget- 1998
to have a sammich and worsh their jerseys for next season, they are
Silence of the Lambs- 1991
thinking one thing: “Yinz better win next year!”
The Dark Knight Rises- 2012
She’s Out of My League- 2010
fans (VERB) their teams kellers for losing, and convince themselves
Photo by Sarah Yoest
JohnGalatic.PrintEditor-In-Chief & CarlyBeck.Life&Style Editor
Pittsburgh has a certain uniqueness to it that no other city in America can match. From food to sports to celebrities, there
is plenty to be found in the Steel City that can be considered quite extraordinary. Here are just a few of the unusual and unbelievable
statistics Pittsburgh has to offer.
In 2009, the Steelers won their sixth NFL Super Bowl, and the Penguins defeated Detroit for their third Stanley Cup victory.
Not since 1969 has a city won two major sports championships in the same year.
Pittsburgh is home to Primanti’s Brothers, makers of the most famous sandwich in town. This classic combines grilled meat,
cole slaw, tomato, and French fries between two pieces of Italian Bread.
Musical artists originally from the ‘Burgh: Christina Aguilera, Wiz Khalifa, Bret Michaels, and Mac Miller.
The Consol Energy Center, built in 2010, seats exactly 18,087 fans in honor of number 87, Sidney Crosby.
Although a Polish tradition, pierogies, potato dumplings covered in butter and onions, are a staple.
Actors that got their start in our town range from Fred Rodgers, to Jeff Goldblum and Sharon Stone, and even Michael Keaton
and Zachary Quinto.
Pittsburgh is the only city where all major sports teams wear the same colors: the beloved black and gold.
Banashefski Takes Down the Boys
You may think that the sport of wrestling only involves
boys, but think again. Sophomore, Haley Banashefski defied
all odds by being the only girl to join the wrestling team.
When you see her in the halls, Banashefski appears
as your average teenage girl. However, if you take a deeper
look, you will learn that she is proud to be the only girl on the
varsity wrestling team.
Haley’s interest in the sport started the summer after
her eighth grade year. Banashefski’s father, a former wrestler
himself, asked her if she would like to join him in going to
“open mats.” Her love for the sport flourished from there.
“I quickly realized I loved it. The coach said I looked
like I was born to wrestle and I had a lot of potential. He
asked if I was joining the high school team and I accepted the
offer without a second thought,” said Banashefski.
Banashefski is currently out with an ankle sprain.
It is still not strong enough for the running, shooting, and
sprawling that the sport involves.
“Taking a shot and sprawling are two major things in
wrestling - it would be best to not have an injured ankle to do
them,” said Banashefski.
She is in the same weight class as Ty Buckiso. However,
Buckiso is one of the best wrestlers on the team, she is his
back up. There is no bias when it comes to who Banashefski
wrestles. She takes on guys but gets time on the mat against
other girls as well.
Most people would
assume that since
Banashefksi is a girl,
the boys would take it
easy on her. She says
that is not always the
hold your own or you
get destroyed” said
In the future,
wrestling on a side
burner due to the
fact that lacrosse has
caught her eye. If lacrosse becomes a sport that she plays at
the high school level, wrestling will become a hobby rather
than a team sport.
Since wrestling is so competitive, Banashefski must
never fall behind. She is ready to hit the mats hard when she
returns from her ankle sprain and she hopes to eventually
win a tournament.
Honored and Commended
Four Peters Township High School students have been recognized as SemiFinalists in the annual National Merit Scholarship Program. These four students are
among 34,000 of the highest scorers on the PSAT/NMSQT and will receive letters of
commendation in recognition of their scholastic achievements. Seniors Kierra Falbo,
Valerie Gobao, Alexandra Hussey and Daniel Ketyer are now competing for the
opportunity to earn a portion of $36 million dollars in scholarship money, which will
be offered next spring, within the National Merit Scholarship organization. In addition,
Taylor Young was honored by the National Achievement Scholarship Corporation as a
Semi Finalist, recognizing outstanding Black American high school students. Young is
one of 1,600 students across the nation to earn this honor.
”I was so surprised and was unsure that I would even get the opportunity. I’m so
honored- money is good,” said Young as she gave a thumbs up.
Congratulations students, it’s an honor to have you in the school.
All photos submitted
Justice for Christine Guenther
On a cold, rainy day in
October of 1981, a fifteen year
old student of Peters Township
named Christine Guenther left
the high school on an early
dismissal from her tennis class
to catch a bus to her doctor’s
appointment in Pittsburgh.
The bus stop was on Rt. 19 by
Donaldson’s Crossroads, but
she never got on that bus. Five
days later, on Halloween, her
body was found under a pile
of leaves. Police said that she
had significant trauma to the
skull from a blow by an ax or a
hatchet. The case stirred quite
a commotion among Peters’
residents. However, despite the
publicity, Guenther’s murderer
was never found. Now, thirty
years later, Guenther’s friends
and family are working
together to reopen the case and
hopefully solve it once and for
accounts, Police have been able
to piece together a possible
story about what happened
that dreadful day. Guenther,
on her way to her doctor’s
appointment, had picked up
the wrong schedule and missed
the bus. She stood out in the
rain for a while before, as stated
by a witness, entering a phone
booth nearby, if it was for either
shelter or to make a call, no one
knows. Both staff and students,
along with the community as
a whole, grew very concerned
with the case as the mystery
surrounding it deepened.
“In many ways it was
very frightening, almost like a
slap in the face for us all,” said
Ms.Hamilton, a teacher here
when Guenther disappeared.
friend, Chris Patrizzio Wallace,
has never stopped hoping that
Guenther’s murder will be
solved. Wallace and a few other
friends started the “Justice for
Gu e nt h e r”
may be able to add information
to solving the case. There are
now 44 members consisting
of friends, family members,
teachers, and other supporters.
Another firm supporter of
solving Guenther’s murder
is her cousin, Nicole Mayor.
Collectively, both Wallace and
Mayor are working along with
the help of others to gain some
insight and leeway on the case.
“We were young and
couldn’t do anything about it at
the time, but now, thirty years
later, we have the money and we
have social media to help us get
information out to people,” said
Diane Postrech, spokeswoman
of the friends of Guenther,
to TRIB Local Media. “We’re
pretty certain that someone out
there knows something.”
Mayor, and Postrech raised
$3,000 to set up a billboard on
Route 19. Seventy-five other
smaller signs were scattered
over the township and nearby
areas and state ‘unsolved murder’ along with the date and
address of the murder itself.
The signs also contain contact
information on how to notify
the police of any tips or insight.
Several memorial services have
been held recently, including
one at Saint Benedicts the Abbot Church. There was also
an automobile caravan from
Pizzaz Italian Restaurant to
Guenther’s burial site at Queen
of Heaven Catholic cemetery
where purple balloons were
released (Guenther’s favorite
color). Remembrance speeches
were made and a former PTHS
graduate and friend of the
Guenther’s, Mary Larkin, sang
a hymn in her honor. Finally,
a gathering was convened underneath the billboard on Rt.
19 at the exact date and time
that her body was found thirty
years ago, where more balloons
were released and speeches
were made. Since the publicity,
25 tips have come in the police
This case should be a
lesson to us all that bad things
can happen to anyone, even in
a place like Peters Township.
With current technology and
resources, both Guenther’s
supporters and the police feel it
is possible to light a match under this cold case. In the end,
after all the interviews and investigations, Christine Guenther was just a fifteen-year old
girl who didn’t deserve murder, but now deserves justice.
‘Glod’ to be back
It is senior night in the Peters
Township gymnasium. There is only one
player waiting to have his name called while
looking at the Rowdy Red cheering him
on as he walks onto the court. That player
is senior point guard Kevin Glod, and to
many people’s surprise, he is the lone senior
on the basketball team.
“It’s really not that bad, to be
honest. I don’t even think about being the
only senior,” said Glod.
Glod’s defensive play as the squads
starting point guard has earned him t
admiration from the players and coaches
alike. He has been counted on to lead a
young, ambitious team into opposing gyms
and to help maintain a calm environment
on and off the court. The tenacious senior
and his peers have been playing their
hearts out, orchestrating comeback after
comeback as they aspire to earn a trip to
the WPIAL playoffs.
“We have a couple of very
important games coming up. If we can
capture a few key wins in the next couple
of weeks, we will make the playoffs. I think
we can accomplish great things if we continue
to focus on the main goal, which is to win,” said
Although the game of basketball has
treated Glod well, he realizes that his favorite
pastime is not always going to be there for him.
He is already thinking about life after the court,
which includes going to a university to study
business and law. However, there is still one
thing he wishes to accomplish.
“I want to go out a champion,” said
Where is the best place to go?
aid, She ion
He S ate Edit
Taylor: “Somewhere that both of you will enjoy.”
Carly: “Somewhere casual like a pizza place.”
Who should pay?
Taylor: “The guy should always pay for her.”
Carly: “The girl should offer to pay half, but the
guy should not let her.”
What’s the worst thing your date
can do during the date?
with Taylor Cox & Carly Beck
What should your date do to keep
things from getting awkward?
Taylor: “Talk about random stuff.”
Carly: “Make a joke!!”
Taylor: “Playing games on their phone, texting
other people, and checking out someone else.”
Carly: “Play on their phone the whole time.”
What’s the best text you could get after?
Taylor: “I had a great night, let’s do it again? ;)”
Carly: “Let’s hang out again soon :)”
How Well Do you Know Meghan Fitzgerald?
Our Song by
I Love you
Our Song by
Love Story by
She’s the Man
A Day in the Life of Cupid
Roses are red, violets are blue, and Cupid is here to help love
struck little you. Now that it’s approaching Valentine’s Day, Cupid plans
to whisk love your way. Don’t forget your chocolates and candy hearts,
when you get hit by Cupid’s love-darts. So watch Cupid frolick in the
hall and bring love, joy, and mushiness to all!
1. Cupid’s a
and wants to
start music Friday with some
Endless Love . If it
doesn’t work out
though, his Heart
Will Go On.
2. When Cupid asked Justin
how he picked up Eleni, Justin
said he used the line, “Baby,
if you were words on a page,
you’d be what they call fine
3. “I hope they name
Baby Pinto after me!”
4. The only thing Cupid loves more
than Gossip Girl is books with Fabio
on the cover... so dreamy.
5. Shot through the heart, Cupid’s
to blame, Mark and Jared give
bromances a bad name.
Cartoons: It’s a 90’s Thing
“Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped,
turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute just sit right
there, I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called BelAir.” The Fresh Prince of Bel Air was at the top of the food chain
when it came to 90’s Television shows, along with many other forgotten programs in that iconic era. The 90’s was a comedic gold
mine when it came to cartoons and laugh out loud shows. However, shows today lack the humor that the 90’s possessed. They
now are not as light and humorous as they once were; they’re more
drama filled and try to keep you on the edge of your seat, as opposed to making you laugh.
From Catdog, to The Big Comfy Couch, the 90’s was a
great generation to grow up in. Shows such as, Aahh! Real Monsters, Rocket Power, and Animanics have always hit it big. Although those shows did not carry on to the 21st century, some of
the networks are still here today and flourishing. Cartoon Network
and Nickelodeon both remain today but are circulating drastically
different shows. These networks have been taken over with numerous dramatic sitcoms. However, some comedic shows have been
able to bridge this new era to carry on their legacy.
For example, SpongeBob is still one of the networks most
popular shows. It continues to come out with new episodes each
and every season. Another popular 90’s show that has succeeded
is Home Improvement. Just because some shows did not make it
through the year 2000 entertainment conversion, does not mean
they should be forgotten.
This generation of classic TV shows will never be forgotten, no matter how many times your life “gets flipped, turned upside down.”
AP Images Julie Markes
AP Images Krista Niles
Favorite 90’s Shows
The Wild Thornberry’s
The Angry Beavers
Boy Meets World
The Boy Who Lived Meets the
Woman in Black
tea, there’s a shift in the air, a
bone trembling chill that tells
you she’s there. There are those
who believe the whole town is
cursed, but the house in the
marsh is by far the worst. What
she wants is unknown, but she
always comes back. The specter of darkness; the woman in
Creeped out yet? It is hard not
to be while reading an excerpt
from, the bone chilling trailor
for The Woman In Black that
stars Daniel Radcliff, known
to most people as Harry Potter. No one knows quite what to
expect from Radcliff. It came to
theaters on February third, and
will either be a smash or a pass
for the fans of the Harry Potter
J.K. Rowling’s largerthan-life series, Harry Potter,
has defined a generation and
has been part of many peoples’
lives since the first copy of
(“Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”) was published in
the UK in 1997. After following
Potter (played by a young, Daniel Radcliff) for fifteen years,
we watched Harry, Hemione
(Emma Watson) and Ron (Rupert Grint) get past the life
threatening encounters while
attending school at Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Unfortunately, this past
year fans saw the series come
to a close, after a legendary finale in which Radcliffe battled
his biggest enemy Voldemort to
the death. After busting the box
office with over 6.1 billion dollars, this classic series was just
a prelude to Radcliffe’s award
winning acting career.
The greatest challenge
for The Woman in Black to beat,
of course, is winning the hearts
of the vast Harry Potter fan
base. However, that won’t be
easy. Hollywood writers are saying that this movie will be scarier than any Harry Potter movie.
This chilling film is about an attorney, Arthur Kipps, played by
Radcliffe, who goes to an isolated home in England that is sup-
AP Images Carlo Allegri
posedly haunted by a ghost that
still drifts through its walls. Although the large group of “Harry Potter” fanatics will probably
only see this movie because it is
Radcliff ’s comeback acting job,
this movie will be a far reach for
Radcliff ’s supporters to meet.
“Although I think the
Harry Potter movies are the
best movies ever, I’m really excited to see Daniel Radcliff appear in another movie, and I
hope he does as good as he did
throughout the Harry Potter
movies.” said, Erica Salizzoni.
Longtime Radcliff fans are hoping that The Woman in Black
will immensely portray Radcliffe’s award winning acting
ability. However, manxious fans
will have to wait until February
third to decide.
AP Images Joel Ryan
Surviving the Ultimate Battle
yourself in a world where your
destiny could lie in an epic
battle to the death; that is exactly the case with the “Hunger
Games” series. In the ruins of
North America lies the nation
of Panem; a country consisting of a Capitol surrounded by
twelve outlying districts. Each
year, the twelve districts are
forced by the Capitol to send
one boy and one girl between
the ages of twelve and eighteen
to participate in the Hunger
Games. The book focuses on
a District 12 tribute, Katniss
Christy Burris’ iPod Playlist
Everdeen, who lives with her
younger sister, Primrose, and
widowed mother. Survival is
second nature for the sixteenyear-old, who struggles daily to
feed her mother and younger
sister. Katniss does everything
in her power to protect her family, which includes stepping in
to take her sister’s place in the
Hunger Games. She knows it
may be a death sentence, but
she sees no alternative. However, Katniss cannot afford to lose
the Hunger Games and will risk
everything to be the last one
1. My Heart Will Go On-Celine Dion
2. Lucky-Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat
3. Stereo Hearts-Gym Class Heroes
4. Love You Like A Love Song-Selena
5. Electric Feel-MGMT
AP Images Lionsgate
Who’s your “Hunger Games”
Have you ever wondered which “Hunger Games” character you would be most like? Now is your chance to discover which main
character you would resemble: Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark, or Gale Hawthorne.
Mostly A’s- Peeta Mellark. Mostly C’s- Katniss Everdee.
1.How would you describe your 4.If stranded in a forest, what
He is shy and tends to keep to She is an extremely opinioned
weapon would you use to obpersonality?
himself. Peeta enjoys express- person, who does everything
ing his creativity by baking and in her power to protect her
A. Nothing. You would just
decorating pastries. He isn’t the family. Her strongest skill is arC.Opinionated
gather plants, nuts, or berries
obvious choice to compete in chery, which greatly enhances
B. An animal trap
the Hunger Games, but with his her performance in the games.
C. A bow and arrow
2.Who are you closest to in
unique characteristics he has a
leg up on the competition.
5. Select your survival stratA. Your Father
B. Consider friends as family
C. Your brothers and sisters
3.Which elective would you
choose if offered in school?
A. Baking/ Cooking
egy if chosen for the Hunger
A. Team up with a few other
B. Stay true to your gut instinct and hope for the best
C. Try to avoid the other
competitors by climbing trees
to stay out of sight
Mostly B’s- Gale Hawthrone.
He is a rebellious character who
would rather be hunting than
doing anything else. His fate
does not involve the Hunger
Games, but he would definitely
stand a chance at winning.
AP Images Lionsgate
#FlyHighGaby Trends after PSU Student’s Death
A lot of times, people are immortalized through written word, but not usually written word on social networking sites.
However, that is exactly what friends and family did to memorialize nineteen-year-old Penn State freshman Gabriella Sicard after
she tragically died in a car accident on December 29th.
During her one semester at PSU, Sicard had an immediate impact on the campus. She had even joined the Women’s Club
Lacrosse Team and one of her teammates was Lauren Ray, a 2009
“Gaby loved to smile. Not to sound like a cliché, but Gaby
lit up any room when she smiled,” said Ray. “You could tell she was
the kind of person that did not have one enemy in the world.”
After her death, a large number of her teammates and
friends wanted to honor Sicard’s memory in some way. However,
it was through the efforts of her teammate, Michelle Gifford, and
roommate, Katie Milmoe, that the #FlyHighGaby movement began a few days after the accident.
“A couple of days after Gaby’s accident, my teammate
Michelle noticed on Facebook a comment about Gaby wanting to
one day trend on Twitter. She contacted Katie and they decided
that this would be the day. They came up with #FlyHighGaby and
started tweeting that evening,” said Ray.
Soon, the team and numerous other PSU students were
tweeting #FlyHighGaby on a regular basis and were persuading
others to join in. Two days after her death, #FlyHighGaby became
the number one global trend (ibtimes). Celebrities such as Taylor
Swift, Snooki, Ed Westwick, Ray Rice, Chad Ochocinco, Brooke
White, and the Kardashian clan tweeted to help Sicard trend on
Twitter. Even local athlete and Penguins player, James Neal retweeted #FlyHighGaby. Students at Penn State have also reached out in
the wake of the tragedy.
“We have only been on campus for a week, but we have received so many messages and people reaching out to help support
our team. A sorority who also recently lost a sister even reached
out to the team because they know what we are going through,”
By now the magnitude of people tweeting #FlyHighGaby
has dwindled. However, friends and family refuse to let Sicard’s
memory fade away.
“On Wednesday January 18th, the women’s and men’s club
lacrosse teams held a candlelight vigil honoring Gaby’s life,” said
Furthermore, Sicard’s father joined Twitter to help keep
the memory of his daughter alive. He recently tweeted “A shooting
star was seen in the sky at mile marker 107.2 this morning at 6:15
AM by a family member of Gaby… Love Dad.”
Photo by Lauren Ray
PT Alumni Lauren Ray celebrates her birthday with friend and PSU club lacrosse
teammate Gabriella Sicard a few months before her death. “Gaby lit up any room
when she smiled. She was one in a million and I am blessed for having met her,”
Dodgeball Tournament: Bringing the Community Together
Since 2001, a fundraiser
to benefit cancer research has
been held in the Peters Township School District. Prior to the
dodgeball tournament, there was
an annual student versus faculty basketball game from 2001
through 2004. Mrs. Kendrick
and the committee of teachers
that helped organize the basketball game were interested in raising money for a cancer patient
named Bill Kauffman. Kauffman
was a student who was battling
lymphatic cancer and was accepted into Penn State. Unfortunately, he lost his battle with cancer before he was able to attend
college. After four years of the
basket ball game, the idea for
a dodgeball tournament surfaced.
“The idea of dodgeball instead of basketball was
an idea I got from Mr. Peterson. He gave me some very
wise advice…he said to do an
event that included the elementary school kids. Being that the
movie Dodgeball just came
out and was a huge success, we
thought it would be fun,” said
Mrs. Kendrick . The proceeds of
the dodgeball tournament are
donated to the Make-A-Wish
Scholarship Fund, which helps
children with life-threatening
diseases receive money for col
“The event seems to
bring out the best in everyone.
Teachers donate their time and
energy, not only by participating in the event but by getting
their students excited about the
event,” stated Mrs. Kendrick.
The National Honor Society
sponsors the event.
“I also love watching
my NHS students. Society often portrays adolescents as being selfish and reckless. I wish
more people could see how truly wonderful these students are.
Without the help of the students
we could not possibly run this
event,” stated Mrs. Kendrick.
The National Honor
Society sponsors the event every year. The students help out
with advertisements, refreshments, organization and cleaning. The dodgeball tournament
would not be complete without
its audience: the Peters Township community. People of all
ages attend the event and students especially love watching
their teachers battle against
each other. The tournament is
an awesome way to bring the
This year’s eighth annual
dodgeball tournament will be
held on February 9th from 6:00
to 8:00 pm.
of the Iraq
When the Iraq war
was declared over on December 18, 2011, US citizens all had
their own opinions on the purpose of the eight year war and
what it accomplished. Some
were thrilled it was over since
they had never supported it,
others felt the war left Iraq in a
worse state than prior to the occupation. In a random survey of
PTHS seniors, 55 percent think
going to war was a good idea
while 45 percent disagree.
Most students who
thought it was a bad idea had
various reasons. The main opinion was that it was a waste of
innocent American lives. The
supporters of the war mainly
believe that the threat of terrorism in Iraq was too much to ignore and that the US helped the
Iraqi people. Senior Andrew
Irwin, whose dad has been deployed to Iraq twice, supports
“I couldn’t imagine being prouder of my dad. He is the
main reason I will be attending
WestPoint Military Academy
after I graduate.”
Both sides have valid points.
The war did sacrifice numerous
American lives to protect its
citizens, but it was also necessary for many reasons. It is refreshing to see that normal high
school seniors have such strong
political views on these topics.
However, there was one troubling survey result.
In the midst of all
these strong viewpoints being
expressed, only 56 percent actually knew that the war was
not because of 9/11 but due to
weapons of mass destruction.
Furthermore, 83 percent of
students were unaware that the
war had ended.
are disturbing. This generation
should take more care to keep
track of current events because
it will be responsible for the
world soon. “Those who do
not know history are doomed
to repeat it” is a popular cliché
among adults to apathetic teenagers. Most teens just brush
it off as a way adults try to get
them to study history. However, the question to those teens
should ask themselves is do you
want to risk it?
Smoke Signals Uses AP Images
When most students
open Smoke Signals, they
immediately look for the spreads
of photos. For years, the news
magazine staff had to comply
with strict copyright guidelines
and was forced to fill spreads
with a limited range of stock
photos taken by students. The
Media Department has always
maintained a zero tolerance
policy regarding copyright
violation. However, instead of
having to take less entertaining
and often irrelevant images, the
Smoke Signals staff is now able
to publish interesting AP images
due to a partnership agreement
with AccWeather Sales and
Services Education Division
through Power Library.
“I spoke with Kelly
Minisale, our Power Library
sales representative, about
using the AP images in our
news magazine. She was so
impressed with our stance on
copyright that she agreed to let
us use the photos as long as we
cite them in a specific way and
do not use Photoshop to adjust
the images,” said Mrs. Sitler.
So say goodbye to
unsavory spreads and hello to
the Kardashian clan and the
rest of the entertainment world.
Photo by AP Images
What in the World?
Big surprise: North Korea’s absurd propaganda shenanigans have
continued with the death of their dear leader, Kim Jong Il. According
to the ever-accurate Korean Central News Agency, even Mother Nature herself has been mourning for the poufy-haired, “Guiding Sun
Ray.” Since his death on December 17th, temperatures in the country
have dropped drastically and the weather has become “depressed”
without its alleged master. Even the animals feel the dreadful pain.
In addition to flocks of mourning magpies spreading the “sad news”
to statues of Kim Il Sung (Kim Jong Il’s father), a family of bears has
come out of hibernation to lament the loss, reportedly seen “on the
road crying woefully.” It’s surprising that they haven’t reported heavy
rain; after all, shouldn’t the clouds be crying, too?
Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They get married and live happily
ever after, right? Well, this is not quite your typical love story; in
Barry and Anne’s strange tale, the boy got a sex change six years into
their marriage and became “Jayne.” Always uncomfortable with his
body, Barry had secretly dressed in women’s clothing since grade
school. But even though he wanted to be female, he fell in love with
Anne at first sight and married her six months later. Eventually, of
course, his inner woman got in the way. After the painful confession of Barry’s feminine aspirations, Anne decided to support her
husband, and helped “him” become her wife with hormone therapy.
They’re still married, and recently renewed their vows as loving
wives. Now, they “giggle and talk about hair, clothes, and makeup,”
go shopping together, and steal each other’s favorite outfits. True
love really knows no bounds.
Who is Iran’s public enemy number one? Right now, it’s not President
Obama, nor any real person for that matter; it’s Barbie. As part of
the “soft war” against western influence, Iran’s morality police have
recently begun to enforce a ban against Barbie, on the ground of her
un-Islamic, western indecency. In her place, a line of dolls named
Sara are sold wearing the traditional black burqa required of women by law. However, Barbie’s popularity with young girls remains,
prompting shopkeepers to sell them in secret in a Barbie black market. Yet, according to these same morality police, the sale of violent
toy spy drones to children is perfectly acceptable. Though I agree that
Barbie can get a bit racy, she doesn’t exactly create the “destructive
social consequences” that can occur with the violence a morbid toy
spy drone can promote. That’s real morality for you.
An Artist’s Touch
The Art Department has some of our most popular electives. In these Art classes students are taught different techniques
of painting and sketching while having the freedom to create
pieces that express themselves and their style. Here are just a few
examples of the talent found in the Art Department.
Ali Bianco, 12
Emily Corrigan, 11
Holly Hanna, 10
Sarah Yoest, 11
Layout Design by Denée Renz
Mandy Ho, 11
Rosa Winslow, 11
Angela Mikec, 12
Emily Warne, 10
John McGovern, 12 and
Lindsey Del Cotto, 12
Madi Mele, 11
Sarah Yoest, 11
Erica Gretz, 12
Casey Kirwan, 10
Katy Guadlip, 9
Ali Bianco, 12
What is the worst pickup line you
have ever heard?
“Do I know you from
“Hey, didn’t we go to
“If this was a library and
you were a book I’d check
“If I could, I would rearrange the alphabet
and put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together”
Do you like to have french
fries & gravy down at the
“What’s your sign?”
“Is your coefficient
high enough to stick
“Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my
knee falling for you.”
“Getting poked on
“Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the
only ten I see”
“Did it hurt when you fell
“How much does a
bear weigh? Enough
to break the ice”
“Are you an angel? Because you just swept
me off my feet”
“Can I have your phone
number? I lost mine”
“Are you a library book?
Cause I’m about to check
“Are you gonna kiss
me? Or do I have to lie
to my diary?”
“Are you from Hogwarts because I’d like
to hog your warts”
“If you were a
booger, I’d pick you
“Are you tired? Because
you’ve been running
through my mind all
“Can I have some of
your cheese please?”
“Can I have your phone
number; I’ve seemed to
have lost mine”
“Are you a speeding
ticket because you have
fine wirtten all over
“Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re
the only ten I see”
“Is it hot in here, or
is it just you?”
“Don’t listen to any
ones pick-up lines.”