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Mindful and agile leadership Session 2

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Mindful and agile leadership Session 2

  1. 1. Mindful & Agile Leadership Rafael Cobo Calleja 2019 Training for the Future Day2
  2. 2. 2 Inner Weather Check-In Use it at the check-in of any team meeting. Its a tool for being collectively aware of the mood of each team member, and treat him accordingly, separating the person from the problem, showing care. At the same time, makes each oneperson aware of their own mood.
  3. 3. Last weeks exploration (25/06-19/07) 3 1. Home practice: relaxation (body scan or yoga-20 min) and attention to the breath (20 min) 2. Mindful attention to daily routines at home and work: scape from automatic pilots! Explore also your emotional challenges: digest your emotions in the here and now. 3. Mindful listening; practice at any opportunity. 1. Stakeholder Interview. The purpose of a stakeholder dialogue interview is to see your work from the perspective of your stakeholders. It answers the questions: What do my stakeholders want from me? What do they need me for? Procedure: make an appointment with one of your key stakeholders (boss, peers, clients..). Before you meet the interviewee allow for some quiet preparation or silence. During the interview, listen with your mind and heart wide open and take notes. Ask questions spontaneously: feel free to deviate from your questionnaire if important questions occur to you. The questionnaire is designed to serve you and your work—not the other way around. Questions: 1) What is your most important objective, and how can I help you realize it? (What do you need me for?); 2) What are the criteria that you use that help you to assess whether or not my contribution to your work has been successful or not? 3) If I could change two areas in my area of responsibility over the next six months, which two things would create the most benefit for you? 4) What were some of the barriers and issues that may have prevented people earlier in my role to collaborate effectively? Listen mindfully. Appreciate the feedback. 4. Reflective action: explore the tool with any other work issue that you wish: how would it be to behave from a higher level of consciousness and intention? Explore the in the moment reactions…
  4. 4. Remembering… 4 Expert 45% Agile 10% Achiever 35% Fuente: Leadership agility. Bill Joiner y Stephen Josephs Level of awareness Level of intent Modest reflective capacity. To improve and acomplish things. A roboust reflective capacity, but after the event has occurred. To achieve desired outcomes in a way consistent with self-chosen values. Ability to step back in the moment or be in the here and now processing your senses,thought processes, intuitions and emotional responses. To engage in life in all its fullness. Create contexts that are experiential and meaningful in deep collaboration with others. To be of benefit to others as well to yourself. DoingmodeBeingmode
  5. 5. 10 high impact tools 5 1. Switching from doing to being mode: stress management. 2. Focus atention. 3. Open attention and presence. 4. Emotional intelligence. 5. Reflective action and SMART goal setting. 6. A culture of dialogue: active listening, generative conversations, effective meetings and sales. 7. Conflict management and coaching. 8. Project effectiveness: eliminate hidden blocks. 9. Resonance with purpose. 10. Energy management and joy at work.
  6. 6. 5. Reflective action and SMART goal setting 6 A four step cycle that enhances the natural process of learning from experience. We move through it many times per day, but unconsciously… Assess situation and results Diagnose Set Intention Take action
  7. 7. 7 Practice 5 Use the level of awareness and intent that corresponds to your desired new level of leadership: the “achiever” and the mindful/agile/ being mode. How? First you step back from your current “automatic pilot”. Try to gain new insight: diagnose the situation. This corresponds to the first two steps of the reflective action cycle. The result will depend on your current level of awareness (that which you are training with the 1-2-3-4 skills of this course). Then set your SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely –as possible-) intention and engage in what needs to be done. Task: start appliying it at your everyday work initiatives. What is a challenge now? From what level of awareness and intent are you approaching it? How could you approach it from the next level of awareness and intent?
  8. 8. 6. A culture of dialogue. Active listening and generative conversations. Effective meetings /sales. 8 Film: Invictus-Clint Eastwood (director); Morgan Freeman y Matt Damon Directing attention is what communication is all about…
  9. 9. 9 Observable data and experiences (as a video recording might capture them) I select data from what I believe and my mental frames I add meanings (personal and cultural) I make assumptions (based on the meanings I added) I draw conclusions I adopt beliefs about the world I take actions based on my beliefs Loop: will affect the data I select next time Culture of comunication How do we attend the world: ladder of inference or open mind?6
  10. 10. 10 Culture of comunication6 Be aware of these 4 levels of communication Field: Structure of Attention Conversing (group) Attending (individual) I-in-me I-in-it I-in-you I-in-now Listening 1: the autopilot. Fixed world view. Downloading habits of thought. You only need half word to know what you must do, or to confirm to yourself how the other is. Listening 3: Empathic Listening. You leave your own world view, and try to imagine how something feels for the other. Listening 4: Generative listening. From what is going to come- without a worlds view. Discover the story behind the story. Listening 2: Factual, object-focused. Directed mainly to noticing differences, (“this is wrong”). Used in legal environments… Downloading: Talking nice, politeness Debate: Talking tough, rule-revealing. Dialogue: Inquiry, rule-reflecting. Collective Creativity: Presencing, flow rule-generating. Source: MIT_Presencing Institute
  11. 11. 11 A key practice to build strong communication. When you listen, focus all your attention on just listening. If you let your thoughts, judgments get into your mind, several things happen: • You lose key elements of the conversation. • You traduce the message to your own past experience. • The speaker detects you are thinking a response and becomes defensive, stressed, losing part of his creativity. The conversation ends in known territories. The real “Dialogue” happens when you hold your judgments, thoughts until it´s your time to talk. So when you listen, just acknowledge that you are listening. Allow also your body posture to express that you are listening. Observe your emotions, reactions… what happens? Its miraculous how conversations become much richer and efficient just with this simple (but not easy) practice. Practice 6 5 Mindful listening
  12. 12. 12 Communication culture6 Welldoing by wellbeing with yourself Your real personality is what you show in your relationships, and usually its different to the ideal you have in your mind. So be aware about how you show up and interact with others: you show up with fear or anger? Do you show care for your peers or do you manipulate? Are you kind? Are you reliable? Warm, open? Embody the qualities of your conscious base mind as you attend yourself in open attention, with ease: be aware of the qualities of acceptance, harmony, collaboration, benefit for all beings, meaning-purpose, joy… let them drive your life. When we feel centered, in internal wellbeing, we can start asking to ourselves: How can I be of value in this moment? Listen to your heart, not your conditionings. And even more: when your are mindfuly centered in your heart, you realice that at a given moment there are no two subjets, but a relationship, a verb. Maybe expresions as the african Sawabona-Shikoba: “I see you, I recognize you” which is answered as “Then, I exist for you”, connects with this idea.
  13. 13. 13 Communication culture6 Effective meetings: the art of hosting conversations. What is best? • State in advance the meeting goal: Obtain input, make decisions, build capacity, build community, improve communication… • Facilitator skills: Paraphrasing, clarifying, gathering ideas, encouraging-balancing, making space for all, acknowledging feelings, linking/ visual thinking. • Artifacts: Post its, flipcharts, circle, breaking into small groups, brainstorming. • Agenda-topics and Time management. • Check in, conduction and check out. • Reporting- To do´s. Reading: facilitators guide to participatory decision-making. Sam Kaner
  14. 14. 14 Communication culture6 Assertiveness Self-steem Relationship Goal to achieve Can you identify in yourself any of these barriers to ask? • I show a weaknesses, a need (humilliation) • They can tell me “no”, and I see as personal (rejection) • I become in debt, and I don´t want to owe favors (betrayal) • There is already a conflict with this person…
  15. 15. 15 Communication culture6 Sales communications: how do we unleash all the potential of the present moment?
  16. 16. 7. Conflict management and coaching 16 1. What is that I cannot control in this situation? 2. What am I trying to control? 3. What can I control, that I am not controlling right now? Exercise. Think about a real life situation that is conflicting you. Ask yourself the three questions and write down the answers.
  17. 17. 17 Conflict and coaching7 Non violent communication: don’t put more fire into a conflictive relationship! evidences / facts feelings needs request/ action plan Source: Marshal Rosenberg-Non Violent Communication When I see your socks under the kitchen table and your sport clothes thrown around the living room floor…. …I feel irritated… …because I need more order in the spaces we live together …could you leave them in the laundry room every time you are done with them? Exercise in pairs: what difficult conversation are you postponing?
  18. 18. 18 Conflict and coaching7 Coaching for transformation: moving from limitations to full creativity and expression. Source: John Whitmore-Coaching Our beliefs about others capacity influences performance. Coaching requires trust in the hidden potential. Let go the desire to control and the judgment. Be in the now. As coach ask yourself: What matters most to this person? What is the deepest expression of this person greatness? GROW Model (Goal-Reality-Options-What) • Establish the final goal and the performance goals to achieve it (or other critical variables). Focus. How much are we willing to invest in the process? • Exam the reality. Be objective. When we are conscious, we have more degree of control. Ask: what actions have you realized until now? What were the effects? • Contemplate the options • Determine the what, when, with whom and the will to act. Consciousness (what is happening) conducts to skill: “natural correction” when feedback focus on attention. This is activated trough powerful questions: what else? If you know the answer, what would be? How does it make you feel?
  19. 19. 19 Conflict and coaching7 Transformational coaching skills: achievement Challenging Requesting your client stretch beyond perceived limitations. Example; “I challenge you to give up doing this task alone” Clarifying Articulate needs and values in order to verify understanding. Example; “I sense you are looking for security and autonomy in this new move. What else is important? Establishing accountability Create structures to verify the action plan is on track. Example: What will you do? When will you do it? How will I know? Moving into action Co-creating or requesting movement toward goals that are aligned with values, vision and desires. What will you do this week? Will you…? Source: Coaching for transformation_Martha Lasley Interrupting Its done in service of getting back to exploring what matters most. Example: Katia, stop. What is the essence of what you are saying? What is important here?
  20. 20. 20 Conflict and coaching7 Transformational Coaching Skills (II): agility. Asking empowering, open questions Source: Coaching for transformation_Martha Lasley What do you want? What is important about that? What are you overlooking? What do you care about in this situation? What value does this experience have to you? What are you commited to? How can you play the bigger game? What´s the big picture? What are your choices? What do you need help with? Who can help you with that? What can you delegate? What request can you make? How do you plan to achieve that? How can you break this down into smaller steps? Is there anything else that you need to do? In a scale 1-10, how commited are you to this plan? What is stopping you? What would motivate you to change? Pretend you know the answer… What can you stop doing to get room to what is important? What are you doing that its working? If you only focused in one thing, what will be? What might you do differently next time? What does your heart tell you about this? When you are at your best, what is different? Are you going to be able to fix it? Can you get more resources? Do you have any influence? Why didn´t you take action? Why did you do that?
  21. 21. 21 Conflict and coaching7 Exercise: generative conversation and coaching questions. Source: Coaching for transformation_Martha Lasley Who speaks: • Attend how do you feel, what emotions come to you, your thoughts… accept them, breathe and center yourself. • Speak from the heart: what should be said now? Connect in resonance with the other person. • Attend your words, your silences, your body language… Who listens: • Attend with all your attention to the here a and now (internal and external), suspending judgements (don’t identify with them). • Show that you are following: acknowledge, body language… • After listening, ask powerful questions. • Don´t expect, dance with the moment. Exercise in pairs: what is challenging you now? Can you put it in a GROW model?
  22. 22. 8. Project effectiveness 22 TRUST Ask for an action Declaration of acceptance Declaration of end Declaration of satisfaction Negotiation • Specifcations • Time and form • Milestones • Propose-inquiry in balance Realization Evaluation • What has worked • Learnings • Recognitions Creating the context • Why? • For what? petitioner executor Commitment management Source: ISAVIA-programa Liderando el Futuro
  23. 23. 23 And apply Pareto rule; a 20% of actions bring up 80% of the results Source: Eisenhower Matrix Urgency Importance + - - + Most important and urgent (ABSOLUTE PRIORITY- DO IT NOW) Important but less urgent (ANALYSIS AND PLANNING) Neither important nor urgent (QUESTION OR ELIMINATE) Less important but urgent (DELEGATE, PRIORITIZE) Project effectiveness8 Time management
  24. 24. 24 Project effectiveness8 Improvement goal Observed behaviours against the goal Hidden commitments Hidden assumptions Example: delegate more I accept more tasks that what I can work on, and many are not my responsibility. I fear to abandon my team. If I put myself first, I feel guilty and selfish, when my internal commitment is generosity. If I put myself first, I become what I don´t like from others. And I don´t feel necessary. Observe when your assumptions activate. Do you know the story of your assumption? When and how started? These assumptions are still valid today? Invisible barriers to success Source: Robert Kegan-Harvard University Test yourself how these assumptions might not really be valid. See what happens
  25. 25. 25 Project effectiveness8 Goals: dealing with the subconscious mind 11 Mill bits/seg 7 bits/seg Our conscious mind process information slowly: 7 bits/per second. Our subconscious is much faster: 11 millon bits per sec. The subconscious is taking its own decissions. Create goals that the subconscious mind understands: • Positive statement • Specífic • Use symbolic language • Put them in visible places • Feel them as achieved And refute objection through test
  26. 26. 9. Resonance with purpose. 26 Biggest electromagnetic field in the body Conection between heart rythm, emotions and balance
  27. 27. 27 Resonance with Purpose9 Listen to the values that make your “heart sing” Ask yourself: • When was a time when you felt passionate about your life or work? • Tell me about a movie that you love. What about that makes it special for you? What values were being honored? How much are you honoring each of your top values on a scale 1-10?
  28. 28. 28 Resonance with Purpose9 Your mandala What do I want to achieve? What do I need to learn and develop? What diminishes my energy to achieve it? What brings me energy to achieve it? Exercise: use photos, texts, drawings… Complete and share with your team
  29. 29. 29 Resonance with Purpose9 The courage and life fulfilling of Acceptance Acceptance is opposite to Resignation. You accept what has already happened, so you don´t lose energy against what cannot be changed. And then, you listen to your inner voice: what needs to be done now? And you act instantly –in acceptance- listening to your true inner voice. Courageous authenticity.
  30. 30. 10. Energy management and Joy at work 30 “All the things you truly matter –beauty, love, creativity, acomplishment, joy, inner peace- arise from beyond the mind” (Eckhart Tolle)
  31. 31. 31 Energy and Joy10 Work-life balance: How are you doing with…? Appropiate nutrition for your type and season Nature Creative work Breathing Sports Massage Rest Friedship
  32. 32. 32 Energy and Joy10 Routinary tasks… • Present attention. Aceptance. • Breath, anchor yourself in the body. • Be for the other person and honor your commitment.
  33. 33. 33 Energy and Joy10 Acknowledging Its different from complimenting, which implies evaluation and judgment (example: you are amazing!) Acknowledge the growth, learning actions, and what you see. Source: Coaching for transformation_Martha Lasley Championing You help them see things that might not be obvious to them. You can point to their strengths and values, and help them raise the bar in their personal expectations. Celebrating What milestones has the team to celebrate? Don´t wait until goals are complete. Look for opportunities to celebrate the small successes along the way… Appreciating Implies you as leader. Has three parts: 1) the observable behavior of your team member; 2)the emotional impact; 3) which needs are satisfied in you.
  34. 34. 34 Communication culture6 Energy and Joy10 An organization is a complex living system. You are responsible to nurture it to maintain it in its full aliveness, in wellbeing. 4 Dimensions: Connecting Caring Contexting/spaces Capacity building Source: Marilyn Hamilton-Integral Cities Series
  35. 35. 35 Some reminders on building your leadership capacity… • Whenever you find yourself in “automatic pilot”, Stop, bring your attention to your diaphragm, and without trying to change anything attend your breath, as if your attention is radiating from the heart. Allow that attention to extend to everything inside and outside. From this centering, ask yourself: from what level of intent I want to deal with this situation? • Relax daily your body through body scan, hatha yoga or any other conscious discipline. Release this way accumulated tensions. Breath deeply. Put your attention in your perceptions as they arise in any routinely task. Be aware of the difference between what you think about the world (abstraction) and how the world -as it is- comes to you. • Digest your emotions just by bringing your physical attention to where you feel them most, disconnect the thoughts associated with the emotion –specially old stories in the subconscious-, or any effort to label or control them. Don´t fear them: start by digesting the fear. Then put your self in an emotion of confidence / trust. Feel it in all your body. • Be aware of your judgments and of your agenda to manipulate others. Listen with all your self. Be present for what the moment requests from you. And be brave, compassionate, engaged.. • Do your tasks with love and all your fullness. Be trustful. Its all you are in that moment. • Don’t interfere with the possibility of others to do the best of themselves. How can you be of service to them in this present moment? • Engage with life in all its fullness.
  36. 36. 36 Bibliography • Links to explore: The wellbeing project; Emzingo; Bcorp; Presencing Institute-MIT; Tendrel; Instituto Relacional; Trika method. • Leadership Agility- Five levels of Mastery for Anticipating and Initiating Change. B. Joiner & S. Josephs. Goes through dozens of examples of the leadership model seen in class 1. . • Coaching for Transformation-Pathways to Ignite Personal and Social Change. Authors: Martha Lasley, others.. Beautiful coaching book full of tools with a quite holistic perspective to help in your coaching role with your peers at work. • Training from the back of the room. Sharon L. Bowman. Amazing book full of tips for facilitating effective learning sessions. • Facilitators guide to participatory decision-making. Sam Kaner. Great book to learn how to facilitate participative meetings. • The Mindful Leader-Michael Carroll. Specially for developing a personal practice of meditation that helps your leadership role. The author is a recognized coach for senior leaders, and this is the approach of the book, but its very human and inspirative. • Non violent communication- Marshall Rosenberg. • Search Inside Yourself. This is the Google approach to mindfulness. Its a best seller and serves to apply many mindfulness tools at work. Also a business perspective in the implementation of mindfulness at work is the book One Second Ahead. • True Meditation- Adyashanti. If you want to go deeper into the personal practice of meditation.
  37. 37. 37 Thanks rafael@yogamindful.net www.yogamindful.net 659739617