Bridge session2

What are the
characteristics
of Christian
leadership?
Wednesday, 28 August 13

What does a
church leader
look like?

Characteristics of
Christian Leadership
With due credit to:
John Piper, Jack Hayford, J Oswald Sanders,
Bob Gordon…and a few others

• What do you think are the
essential characteristics of a
leader in the Kingdom of God?
• What should a man of God
look like in the way he / she
lives their life each day?

1. What is this?

1. What is this?Change is here to stay!

Watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmwwrGV_aiE

1. Restless
Leaders know the world is
changing rapidly - they
know they need to
understand change and
where to adapt because of
change, where to adopt
new things and where to
ignore it (due to its lack of
relevance to their arena).

• Spiritual leaders have a holy
discontentment with the status quo
• They are unhappy to let things
remain the same
• Non-leaders have inertia
• Leaders want change, movement,
growth - new dimensions of
ministry

• Can you think of
biblical examples
of restless people?
• Are there any
speciﬁcally gifted
people who
would be less or
more likely to
accept / welcome
change?

Rogers Bell Curve
Likelihood of acting / changing
High Low
• This is called the Rogers Bell Curve and
it represents the rate of taking up new
ideas / innovations within a “typical”
society / group
• Look at it and consider what if any are
the implications for church leaders

Rogers Bell Curve
Likelihood of acting / changing
High Low

Philippians 3
12Not that I have already obtained all this, or
have already been made perfect, but I press on
to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took
hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider
myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one
thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and
straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on
toward the goal to win the prize for which God
has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

2. Optimistic
• Spiritual leaders are
optimistic because God is
in control
• Their conﬁdence is based
upon the goodness of God
manifested in Jesus Christ
• Without optimism
restlessness becomes
despair

2. Optimistic
• Spiritual leaders are
optimistic because God is
in control
• Their conﬁdence is based
upon the goodness of God
manifested in Jesus Christ
• Without optimism
restlessness becomes
despair
What Biblical verses
and situations show
us the need to be
optimistic due to
God’s sovereignty?

Romans 8
28And we know that in all things God
works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his
purpose...32, He who did not spare his
own Son, but gave him up for us all—
how will he not also, along with him,
graciously give us all things?

3. Intense

3. Intense
• Romans 12:8 …if your gift is
leadership, “do it with zeal.”

3. Intense
• Romans 12:11 … “Never ﬂag in
zeal, boil in the spirit!”

3. Intense
• Romans 12:11 … “Never ﬂag in
zeal, boil in the spirit!”
• Jesus cleansing the temple, "Zeal for
your house has consumed me" John
2:17

Jonathan Edwards
wrote a list of approx.
seventy resolutions.
One of which says:
“To live with all
my might while I
live.”

Jonathan Edwards
wrote a list of approx.
seventy resolutions.
One of which says:
“To live with all
my might while I
live.”
1. Resolved, That I will do whatsoever I think to be most
to the glory of God, and my own good, profit, and
pleasure, in the whole of my duration; without any
consideration of the time, whether now, or never so
many myriads of ages hence. Resolved, to do whatever I
think to be my duty, and most for the good and
advantage of mankind in general. Resolved, so to do,
whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and
how great soever.
2. Resolved, To be continually endeavouring to find out
some new contrivance and invention to promote the
forementioned things.

Count Zinzendorf of the
Moravians said,
“I have one passion.
It is He and He
alone.”

“If I had 1,000
lives, I'd give
them all for
China”
Hudson Taylor
(1832-1905)

“Expect
great things
from God;
attempt
great things
for God”
William Carey

4. Self-controlled
• Gal. 5:23 – a fruit of the Spirit not mere
willpower
• Allowing the power of God to master
your emotions, appetites etc.
• Master of our desires and drives
• Spiritual leaders ruthlessly track down
bad habits and break them by the
power of the Spirit

1 Cor. 6:12,
“Everything is permissible for
me”—but not everything is
beneﬁcial. “Everything is
permissible for me”—but I will not
be mastered by anything.”

•Jeremiah 18 I went
down to the potter's
house, and I saw him
working at the wheel. 4
But the pot he was
shaping from the clay was
marred in his hands; so
the potter formed it into
another pot, shaping it as
seemed best to him.

• Examine your life to see
whether you are enslaved by
leisure: television, alcohol,
coffee, cricket, computer games:
people, crises, meetings, your
work and call
• 1 Cor. 9:25ff

• A work
matrix
developed by
Stephen
Covey - used
to assess and
prioritise
work

5. Thick-skinned
• In leading others you will be
criticised
• You cannot aim to please others and
seek their approval. Gal 1:10
• If criticism disables us, we will never
make it as spiritual leaders - we
might be hurt, but must not be
disabled by it

•Criticism is one of
Satan's favourite
weapons to try to get
effective Christian
leaders to quit
•Being thick skinned
does not mean being
closed to legitimate
criticism - humbly accept
and apply just criticism

Look for the truth in every
criticism that comes your way
Criticism can either be just or
unjust, objective or unfounded –
the motive behind the criticism
is almost immaterial, your
response is most important

1. Consider the Source
What is their motivation for criticising?
Constructive criticism (loving) or habitual
complaining.
Experience will help you discern the
difference. Are they people who tear
down rather than build up?
Matthew 12.34...out of the overﬂow of the
heart the mouth speaks

2. Consider the Observation
See beyond and consider the truth
behind the criticism
Will it develop my leadership style or
sharpen my effectiveness as a leader?
Proverbs 12.1 speaks plainly:
"…he who hates correction is stupid."

3. Practice Forgiveness
Don’t hit back at the person defending
yourself or by reciprocating with even
harsher criticism.
Exercise grace, mercy and forgiveness

6. Energetic
• Lazy people cannot be leaders
• Eph. 5:16 making the best use of the
time, because the days are evil.
• 1 Cor. 15:58, Therefore, my dear
brothers, stand ﬁrm. Let nothing move
you. Always give yourselves fully to the
work of the Lord, because you know that
your labour in the Lord is not in vain

• ‘The world is run by tired men’
• Learn to live with pressure – such
as deadlines, demands for your
time
• Don’t waste time in excess leisure

Promises like Matt. 11:28 and Php 4:7,
Isaiah 64:4 prevent pressure becoming
a worry
28 Come to me, all who labour and are heavy
laden, and I will give you rest...7 And the peace
of God,which surpasses all understanding, will
guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
Jesus...From of old no one has heard or perceived
by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides
you, who acts for those who wait for him.

7. A hard thinker
• "Be babes in evil, but in thinking be
mature!" 1 Cor. 14:20
• It is not easy to be a leader of people
who can outthink you!
• A leader must be one who, when he
sees a set of circumstances, thinks
about it
Who do you think of as
the “great thinkers” in the
Bible?
What do you think of
most?

7. A hard thinker
• "Be babes in evil, but in thinking be
mature!" 1 Cor. 14:20
• It is not easy to be a leader of people
who can outthink you!
• A leader must be one who, when he
sees a set of circumstances, thinks
about it

• Leaders are critical (analytical) -
not gullible or faddish or
trendy, weighing things and
considering pros and cons
• Having a signiﬁcant rationale
for the decisions that he makes

• What are the current areas affecting
society that you need to be thinking
about as a church leader
• What changes are most affecting the
day-to-day lives of your people?
• In what areas do you as a pastor need
to be thinking ahead of your people?
• What should you think about politics,
the price of onions, the LOC in
Kashmir?

8. Articulate - speak clearly
and well
• ar·tic·u·late
• (of a person or a person's words)
Having or showing the ability to
speak ﬂuently and coherently.
• Express (an idea or feeling) ﬂuently
and coherently
• Stating your thoughts clearly

• Paul persuaded men 2 Cor. 5:11
• Colossians 4:4 Paul asked the people
to pray for him, “that I might make it
clear, as I ought to speak.”
• Do you complete sentences?
• Is there a progression in your
discussion / argument

9. Able to Teach
1 Timothy 3:2 -
anyone who aspires
to the ofﬁce of
overseer in the
church should be
able to teach
Who was the
best teacher
you ever had?
What made
them a good
teacher?

9. Able to Teach
1 Timothy 3:2 -
anyone who aspires
to the ofﬁce of
overseer in the
church should be
able to teach

•What is a good
teacher? A few
suggestions from John
Piper
•Asks himself hard
questions, works
through to answers,
frames provocative
questions for his
learners to stimulate
their thinking

•Sees the problems
learners will have with his
subject matter and
encourages them and gets
them over the humps of
discouragement
•Foresees objections and
thinks them through so
that he can answer them
intelligently

•Explains hard things
in terms that are clear
•Is concrete, not
abstract, speciﬁc, not
general, precise, not
vague, vulnerable, not
evasive

•Asks, "So what?" –
relating all issues /
discoveries to life
•Aims for
transformation of life

Focus on what Scripture has
to say, not your own ideas
and opinions.
And allow the Holy Spirit to
make application according to
each members need

Maintain an atmosphere of love
and acceptance.
Leads to open discussion.
Never put down a person’s
comments or contributions
Ask simple, clear, open-ended
questions.

10. A Good Judge of Character
• Jesus knew the hearts of men Jn. 2:24,
But Jesus would not entrust himself to
them, for he knew all men. He did not need
man’s testimony about man, for he knew
what was in a man.
• Jesus urged us to be perceptive in
assessing others Matt. 7:15ff

15"Watch out for false prophets. They come to
you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are
ferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you will
recognize them. Do people pick grapes from
thornbushes, or ﬁgs from thistles? 17Likewise
every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree
bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad
fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.
19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut
down and thrown into the ﬁre. 20Thus, by their
fruit you will recognize them.

21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,'
will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he
who does the will of my Father who is in
heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day,
'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name,
and in your name drive out demons and
perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them
plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you
evildoers!'

• Know who is ﬁt for what kind of work
• Detect potential
• Quickly hear the echoes of pride and
hypocrisy and worldliness
• Is careful not to pigeonhole people

11. ??

11. Tactful - sensitive,
understanding thoughtful
• Colossians 4:5, 6, Be wise in the way you
act toward outsiders; make the most of
every opportunity. Let your conversation
be always full of grace, seasoned with salt,
so that you may know how to answer
everyone.

•Proverbs 25:11- A word
aptly spoken is like apples of
gold in settings of silver.
•Tact wins peoples
conﬁdence
•Do people hang their
heads in embarrassment
at the inappropriate or
insensitive things you say
or do?

•Tact is needed in
confrontation – are you
unwilling to approach a
person who needs
correction or rebuke?
•There is a big difference
between saying, "Your
foot is too big for this
shoe" and "This shoe is too
small for your foot"

12. ??

12. Theologically Oriented
• God centred focussed - all of life has to
do with God
• Colossians 3:17
• 1 Corinthians 2:16
• If we are to lead people to see and reﬂect
God's glory, we must think theologically
about everything

• Work toward a synthesis of all things -
see how things ﬁt together…war sports,
pornography, birthdays, literature, space
travel, disease etc.
• How do they relate to God and his
purposes?
• Knows about God and his ways - so that
things generally ﬁt into a pattern and
make sense even when they are
unpleasant - Eph 5:10
• I worship in a church that announces
birthdays and wedding anniversaries each
week during the service - what is a biblical
perspective on this ‘celebration’
• Does God have any interest in sport? Does
he care if India wins the cricket world
cup? Should we?

• Work toward a synthesis of all things -
see how things ﬁt together…war sports,
pornography, birthdays, literature, space
travel, disease etc.
• How do they relate to God and his
purposes?
• Knows about God and his ways - so that
things generally ﬁt into a pattern and
make sense even when they are
unpleasant - Eph 5:10

13. ??

13. A Visionary
• Prov. 29:18
• Joel 2:28 – dreamer
• Acts 26: 19
• The positive counterpart to
restlessness. We must not only be
discontent with the present but also
dreaming dreams of what could be in
the future

• 2 Kings 6:15-17
• Leaders can see the power
of God overshadowing the
problems of the future
• Most people are experts at
seeing all the problems
and reasons not to move
forward in a venture

No significant life can be lived
for God, nor can any significant
work be done for God, unless it
is grounded firmly on the reality
of spiritual vision. God-given
vision is what lifts the Christian
from the level of the ordinary…

…and enables them to achieve
great things for God…the
spiritual vision (these) people get
from God takes hold of them and
sets them up for life - all they can
do is serve the vision God has
given to them
Bob Gordon

When God gives a vision by His
Spirit through His word of what
He wants, and your mind and
soul thrill to it, if you do not walk
in the light of the vision, you will
sink into servitude to a point of
view which our Lord never had...

…You can never be the same
after the unveiling of a truth.
That moment marks you for
going on as a more true disciple
of Jesus Christ, or for going back
as a deserter
Oswald Chambers

• A survey of young leaders found
the following responses to the
question, “Why do you follow the
man who heads up the work in
your area?”

• The Availability of the
leader.
• When help or counsel was
needed the leader was
there

• The Commitment of the
leader.
• The knowledge that the leader
was committed to the people
to help them grow and
develop as people kept them
joyfully engaged in the task

• The Vision that the man was
able to impart to them.
• In this he communicated a plan
by which their lives became
signiﬁcant

Effects of Vision
These will be shown in the life of the leader
but then as they cast the vision the people
will show them too

1. It gives life
I am called
It provides a life-changing thrust with
new direction and purpose to our lives

• Examples:
• Jacob / Israel
Genesis 32:22–32
• Jerubaal / Gideon
Judges 6,7
• Abram / Abraham
Genesis 17:1–27

"Dissatisfaction and
discouragement are not caused by
the absence of things but the
absence of vision."
Anonymous

2. It is Motivating
I will, I can
Vision has goals
implicit within it
Vision carries the
seed of God's
purpose for our
lives

• The revelation Moses received at the
burning bush contained more than
merely a personal word for Moses, it
carried within it the seed of God's
purpose for His people

• God would not have called us to go
this way, if we did not have what it
takes in Him to fulﬁl our part of His
vision

3. It is Constraining
I must only
• People with God's
vision in their
hearts from then
on can only do
things that are in
line with it

• Life is moulded and shaped by it
• Cut themselves off from their old
life
• Moses’ vision was speciﬁc
• It had outline and content

• He was not free to
go beyond that
• Moses was told by
God, ‘See that you
make them
according to the
pattern shown you
on the mountain.’
Ex 25:40

4. It is Sanctifying
I will not
• Get their act together
• Discipline their life in order to
serve God

• No longer want to please
themselves, but now want to set
their lives apart for God and His
service
• Moses was told, ‘Put off your shoes
from your feet, for the place on
which you are standing is holy
ground’ Ex 3:5

• God cut Moses off;
• from his old life
• from any other plans or ideas
he might have had
• He could not live for anything
else ever again

Some Qualities of Visionary
Leaders
• Prayerful - seeking God's leading
• Aware of God's prompting
• Able to translate vision into action -
a capacity for working to make the
vision a reality

• Personally committed - even if it is
not an easy task, the need to remain
committed despite opposition
• Able to communicate the vision -
the needed to enlist the support of
the people, and share the vision with
their people so that they became
committed to it.
• Persevering

"Vision is essential for survival. It is
spawned by faith, sustained by hope,
sparked by imagination and
strengthened by enthusiasm. It is
greater than sight, deeper than a dream,
broader than an idea. Vision
encompasses vast vistas outside the
realm of the predictable, the safe, the
expected. No wonder we perish without
it!”
Charles Swindoll

14. ??

14. Decisive
• In 1 Kings 18:21 Elijah cries out, "How
long will you go limping with two
different opinions: if the Lord is God follow
him; but if Baal then follow him."
• A leader cannot be paralysed by
indecisiveness
• He will take risks rather than do
nothing

•Leaders soak in
prayer and the Word
and then rest in God's
sovereignty, knowing
that he will very
likely make some
mistakes

15. Restful
• Ps. 127:1,2 - Ultimately productivity rests
in God
• Jesus said to his busy disciples, "Come
away by yourselves to a lonely place and
rest a while” Mk. 6:31 – also Matt 11:28ff
• Ex. 20:9,10
• Not so addicted to work that he is unable
to rest
• A good steward of his life and health

“Psalm 23 Antithesis”
The clock is my dictator; I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when exhausted.
It leads me to deep depression.
It hounds my soul.
It leads me in circles of frenzy for activity’s sake.
Even though I run frantically from task to task,
I will never get it all done,
For my “ideal” is with me.

Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand performance from me, beyond the
limits of my schedule.
They anoint my head with migraines.
My in-basket overﬂows.
Surely fatigue and time pressure shall follow me all
the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever.
Marcia K. Hornok

16. Anointed
• Acts 10:38
• Isaiah 10:27
• Jesus is called the
Christ
• The Anointed One
• Matt 16:13ff

The Anointing

Our relationship with [the]
Holy Spirit
• Baptised Acts 1:5
• Comes on 1:8
• Filled 2:4
• Received 8:17
• Poured out 10:45

• Lied to 5:3
• Tested 5:8
• Resisted 7:51
• Grieved Eph 4:30
• Quenched 1Th 5:19
• Insulted Heb 10:29

• Antioch Acts
11:26...For a whole
year they met with the
church and taught a
great many people.
And in Antioch the
disciples were ﬁrst
called Christians.
• What does this
imply for us

• OT
background is
physical &
spiritual
• Exodus
30:22-25

•The goodness of the
constituents is
released in the
crushing and mixing
• Perfume, fragrance
• Taste
• The need for
brokenness

• Jacob – Genesis 32
• Isaiah – Isaiah 6
• Jesus – on the cross
• David – rebellion of Absalom,
death of Bathsheba's child
• 1 Corinthians 1:26-29
• 2 Corinthians 4:7ff

•It is a holy anointing oil
• Set apart for God
• People – Aaron Ps 133
• Things Ex. 30:26ff
• Same physically but spiritually
different! 1 Cor 4:9

• 2 Samuel 6
• David feared God – verse 9
• Feared to touch the anointed
men of God
• 1 Sam 24:4, Ps 105:15, 1 Sam
26:9ff, Heb 10:31

• Holiness becomes a dynamic
principle
• Not simply a moral attribute
• God’s anointing brings the value
• Ps 51:10-12
• Heb 12:14

“[in holiness] The basic idea
is not that of separation ... but
the positive thought of
encounter which inevitably
demands certain modes of
response.”
H. Seebas

• It brings a fear of the Lord
• A sense of the personal presence of
God
• Seen in David 1 Samuel 6
• Acts 2:43
• 1 Samuel 11:6-7
• Prov. 1:7, 8:13, 9:10, 10:27,
14:27,15:33, 16:6, 19:23

Man does not
possess the
anointing – the
anointing possesses
man

The example of Jesus - Luke 4
•Anointing can attract or repel
• Luke 4:1, 14, 18ff
• 4:14 – attraction – power of Sp.
• 4:22ff – repels
• Recognition
• Demons Lk 4:33ff, Mk 5:9
• By men Jn 19 – Pilate recognised
Jesus’ authority, Matt 8:8ff

•Spirit of the Lord is upon…
• Coming on of HS – frequent in OT
• Judges 6:34 – Gideon
• Judges 13:25 – Samson
• Acts 2
• Acts 4
• Acts 7:55

•Anointing to preach / proclaim
• God – His visions, values, Word
• The prophets – OT & NT

•An apostolic spirit – an impetus to
send
• Apostle – from Greek for sent one
• 2 Corinthians 2:17
• Matt 28:18ff
• Acts 13

•A dynamic spirit
• Real, active power
• Acts 10:38
• Acts 2:22 – Gods accreditation –
Matt 3:16, 17 – accredited by/ to
God ﬁrst
• 1 Cor 2:4
• Acts 1:8

17. Full of Faith
• Heb 11:6
7 principles of faith
1. Relationship - Matt.6:9
2.Openness - 1 Sam. 3, Speak Lord
3.Memory – Ebeneezers /
Thanksgiving

4.Spiritual gifts (Enabling) - 1 Cor. 12:7, 1
Peter 4:10, Rom. 12:6
5.Struggle - self - Rom. 8:7 – mind -
circumstances - Jer. 32:17
6.Simplicity - Luke 11:9 – Ask - James 1:6
7.Perseverance - Heb. 12:1

18. Persevering
•Matthew 24:13
•Galatians 6:9…Let
us not become weary
in doing good, for at
the proper time we
will reap a harvest if
we do not give up.

•Today immediate gratification is
usually demanded – so very few people
excel in the virtue of perseverance and
keep on in the same ministry when
there is significant difficulty
•Vision without perseverance results in
fairy tales not fruitful ministry
•The long haul is hard, but it pays - the
big tree is felled by many, many little
chops

Biblical
Qualifications
of a Pastor
Adapted from an original idea by:
Pastor Scott Thomas

Qualiﬁcations for Overseers
3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone
aspires to the ofﬁce of overseer, he desires a
noble task.2 Therefore an overseer[a]must be
above reproach, the husband of one wife,
[b]sober-minded, self-controlled,
respectable,hospitable, able to teach,3 not a
drunkard, not violent but gentle, not
quarrelsome,not a lover of money.
What does the
Bible say?
2 key passages:
1 Timothy 3:7-13
Titus 1:5-9

Qualiﬁcations for Overseers
3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone
aspires to the ofﬁce of overseer, he desires a
noble task.2 Therefore an overseer[a]must be
above reproach, the husband of one wife,
[b]sober-minded, self-controlled,
respectable,hospitable, able to teach,3 not a
drunkard, not violent but gentle, not
quarrelsome,not a lover of money.

4 He must manage his own household well,
with all dignity keeping his children
submissive, 5 for if someone does not know
how to manage his own household, how will
he care for God's church? 6 He must not be a
recent convert, or he may become puffed up
with conceit and fall into the condemnation
of the devil.7 Moreover, he must be well
thought of by outsiders, so that he may not
fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

Qualifications for Deacons
8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not
double-tongued, not addicted to much wine,
not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They must
hold the mystery of the faith with a clear
conscience.10 And let them also be tested first;
then let them serve as deacons if they prove
themselves blameless.

11 Their wives likewise must be digniﬁed, not
slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all
things. 12 Let deacons each be the husband of
one wife,managing their children and their
own households well.13 For those who serve
well as deacons gain a good standing for
themselves and also great conﬁdence in the
faith that is in Christ Jesus.

Qualiﬁcations for Elders
5 This is why I left you in Crete, so that you
might put what remained into order, and
appoint elders in every town as I directed you
— 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband
of one wife, and his children are believers and
not open to the charge of debauchery or
insubordination.

7 For an overseer, as God's steward, must be
above reproach. He must not be arrogant or
quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or
greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of
good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and
disciplined. 9 He must hold ﬁrm to the
trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be
able to give instruction in sound doctrine and
also to rebuke those who contradict it.

Above Reproach
(Titus 1:6, 7; 1 Tim 3:2)
This is the summarising characteristic.
“Guiltless, blameless,
having clean hands, sinless”
In the lists in 1Timothy and Titus living a life above
reproach is the ﬁrst requirement in both lists.
Thomas suggests that the other items on the list
explain what “above reproach” means.

Above Reproach
(Titus 1:6, 7; 1 Tim 3:2)
This is the summarising characteristic.
“Guiltless, blameless,
having clean hands, sinless”
In the lists in 1Timothy and Titus living a life above
reproach is the ﬁrst requirement in both lists.
Thomas suggests that the other items on the list
explain what “above reproach” means.
“as a leader you are supposed to be
above reproach, and what that
means is that you can’t even give
the appearance that you’re going to
do something wrong”
Kevin Thomas

Rob Wilkerson
http://www.robwilkerson.net/2010/05/what-is-character-of-gospel-
driven_06.html

1. A Pastor must be
devoted to his wife
One-woman man (Titus 1:6; 1
Tim 3:2).
The pastor’s marriage
illustrates Christ’s love for
His church—His bride (Eph.
5:22 ff.). A Pastor must love
his wife exclusively with his
mind, will and emotions and
not just his body.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in
an understanding way, showing honour to
the woman as the weaker vessel, since they
are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that
your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7
...in an understanding way - that means that
we need to know our wife, not just women in
general.
[http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/this-beautiful-mess-called-marriage/]

•It isn't what you get out of
marriage but what you put
into it that brings glory to
God.
•Do you know your wife's
needs? Have you discussed
them with her? Have you
asked her what kind of
husband she wants you to
be?

CJ Mahaney suggests three ways
that husbands can nourish and
cherish their wives (particularly
in the context of ministry).
1. Care for her soul.
Care for the children in the
morning - she can have a
devotional time and get ready for
the day.
Help with her spiritual diet -
share good books etc.
Give her half of your day off

Protect your wife re
her involvement in the
church. Your wife is not the
associate pastor
Identify her gifts, her capacity
Protect her from
discouragement
Encourage her and her
personal example as wife and
mother of our children.

2. Cultivate consistent
communication.
Your wife wants to and
needs to talk - do both of
you talk, do you have
time to talk?
Many pastors have a
weekly date night to
cultivate their
relationship and
romance.

Do you take an interest in her world and ask her
about what she is doing?
Tell her about your world and your heart - she is
probably your number 1 prayer support.
You need to relate to each other, not just relax
together.

3. Create romantic memories.
Husbands, it is our privilege and responsibility to
romance our wives.
Be intentional about being romantic
Study your wife so that you know what would be
romantic for her.
When is the last time you planned and executed a
romantic memory for your wife?
If you don’t know what to do ask her.

Immaturity – age doesn’t
mean development.
Lack Of Spiritual Maturity To
Judge Character Of Your
Mate – You marry reality, not
a dream.
Selﬁshness
Passive Men Without Much
Drive.
Reasons why marriages
fail - by Crawford Loritts

Inability For Meaningful Communication
Fear And Lack Of Intimacy
Lack Of Connectedness With Desire For Two
Separate Lives
Lack Of Purposeful Family Development.
Technology Hinders Ability To Communicate Face-
To-Face.
Not Accepting Responsibility For Problems

Questions to get to
know your wife better
•How can I demonstrate my love to you in a
meaningful way?
•When do you feel most appreciated?
•How can I pray for you?
•How can I help you to know God better?
•In what ways have I sinned against you?

•How could I help us to reconcile our
misunderstandings better?
•What is one way I could really serve you?
•How do I make you feel emotionally?
•What would help you to be more satisﬁed
sexually?
•In what ways could I help relieve physical
stress?

2. A Pastor’s children
must be in submission
...though not perfect (Titus 1:6; 1 Tim 3:4-5).
If a man does not know how to manage his
own family, he will not know how to take
care of God’s church.
A Pastor’s qualiﬁcation for the church starts
in his home management as he leads them
up in the discipline and admonition of the
Lord (Eph. 6:4).

10 Strategies for Raising Healthy
Kids that Most Parents Ignore
Prioritize family
responsibilities over
extracurricular activities.
Eat together as a family.
Let kids begin to solve their
own problems.
Let kids fail when the
consequences are small.

Don’t reward kids for their
performance.
Allow kids to experience
consequences to their actions.
Don’t become a kid-centric
family.
Set boundaries and use
appropriate discipline.
Be real and be vulnerable.
Make healthy marriage a
priority.

Praying for your children
JD and Kim Crowley
For their Faith
Grant them a heart of repentance from sin.
Give them faith in Christ from an early age.
Fill them with your Holy Spirit, and may they
bear the fruit of the Spirit.
Lead them to be baptized into your church.
Make them members of a strong church with
godly elders.
Sometimes it is easy to repeat the
same (good) prayer requests for
your children. I thought these
suggestions were excellent and
help bring freshness into your
praying.

Praying for your children
JD and Kim Crowley
For their Faith
Grant them a heart of repentance from sin.
Give them faith in Christ from an early age.
Fill them with your Holy Spirit, and may they
bear the fruit of the Spirit.
Lead them to be baptized into your church.
godly elders.

godly elders.
Give them spiritual gifts for use in the church,
and help them faithfully use them.
Lead them always to increase in holiness.
Keep them within the orthodox faith of Christ
and the apostles.
Protect them from false teachers/teaching.
Make them fruitful proclaimers of the gospel,
ﬁlled with love for all.

Make them humbly committed to daily prayer.
Give them hunger for daily Bible reading.
Fill them with love and forbearance toward
others.
Help them endure trials with faith and joy.
Help them guard their conscience.
May their lives be like the sun that rises stronger
and stronger until the full of day.

For their Wisdom
Give them hearts that constantly overﬂow with
thankfulness.
Make them peacemakers.
Give them a vocation/skill/work that provides for
their family and is useful to society.
Give them a sense of purpose and joy in their work.
Rescue them from the fear of man.
Provide for them a good education.
Help them apply themselves diligently to their
studies and other work.
Rescue them from laziness and dishonesty.

For their Influences and Relationships
May they be quick to forgive.
Give them godly friends all their lives who will
influence them to love God.
Give them godly influences from “uncles and
aunts” and “substitute parents,” especially as our
influence wanes.
Don’t let them go through a time of teenage
rebellion.
Help them remain pure and enter marriage as
virgins.

May they marry only strong believers.
Save, sanctify, and bless their future spouse.
Keep divorce away from their lives and their
children’s lives for many generations.
Give them the gift of children and the grace to raise
them up in the faith of Christ.
If they are to remain single, make them unusually
fruitful for God’s kingdom.
Protect them from predators.
Protect them from deviant sexual desires.

For their Physical Life
Heal and protect them from sicknesses and diseases.
Protect them from accidents.
Give their country peace in their lifetime.

3. A Pastor is a faithful
Steward (Titus 1:7)
Here the term used is overseer
(Greek episkopos). It is not
another ofﬁce, but a functional
title of the elder. It is what he
does.
He is a steward, a manager of
God’s resources and Jesus’ ﬂock.
He takes responsibility, but not
ownership.

4. A Pastor must be
humble - not arrogant
Titus 1:7
A pastor must constantly demonstrate the
gospel by admitting when he is wrong and
assuming responsibility and restoring
relationships.
“Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in the
light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness” CJ
Mahaney

•Thinking that what you do or say is better
than what others do or say
•Always wanting to get your own way
•Arguing when you are not right or —
when you are — insisting stubbornly or
with bad manners
Following is an excerpt from the writings of St.
Josemaria which can help us identify a lack of
humility in ourselves.
Saint Josemaría Escrivá de Balaguer was a
Roman Catholic priest from Spain who founded
Opus Dei, an organization of laypeople and
priests dedicated to the teaching that everyone
is called to holiness and that ordinary life is a
path to sanctity.
January 9, 1902 - June 26, 1975

•Thinking that what you do or say is better
than what others do or say
•Always wanting to get your own way
•Arguing when you are not right or —
when you are — insisting stubbornly or
with bad manners

•Giving your opinion without being asked
for it, when charity does not demand you
to do so
•Despising the point of view of others
•Not being aware that all the gifts and
qualities you have are on loan
•Not acknowledging that you
are unworthy of all honour or esteem,
even the ground you are treading on or
the things you own

•Mentioning yourself as an example
•Speaking badly about yourself, so that they
may form a good opinion of you, or contradict
you
•Making excuses when rebuked
•Hiding some humiliating faults from your
director, so that he may not lose the good
opinion he has of you
•Hearing praise with satisfaction, or being glad
that others have spoken well of you

•Being hurt that others are held in greater
esteem than you
•Refusing to carry out menial tasks
•Seeking or wanting to be singled out
•Letting drop words of self-praise
in conversation, or words that might show
your honesty, your wit or skill, your
professional prestige…
•Being ashamed of not having certain
possessions…

5. A Pastor must not be quick-
tempered Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3
No man will be of any use in
the kingdom that is quick-
tempered.
Jesus was angry at the abuse
of others in the name of
religion and the dishonouring
of God.
We get angry at how “things”
affects us.

6. A Pastor must be sober - not a
drunkard(Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3)
This is at ﬁrst reading an
overindulgence in alcohol...
But we need to check
ourselves for any addictive
behaviour.
What are you addicted to?
Food, work, success, peoples
approval, prestige, your
phone...?

7. A Pastor must be peaceful -
not violent Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3
The words or carry power
to inﬂuence. Do you words
infuriate or embarrass? Are
you careful with your
words?
Are you a peacemaker (Not
a peace-keeper)...Does the
peace of God minister to
people through you?

8. A Pastor must have
financial integrity
Not greedy for gain (Titus
1:7; 1 Tim 3:3; 1 Peter 5:3)
A pastor is to be upright in
his ﬁnancial dealings
He must not be open to
any accusation of pursuing
money over the kingdom
of God.

9. A pastor must be
hospitable
Titus 1:8; 1 Tim 3:2
“A pastor’s home is to be
open for others to enjoy. A
pastor’s home is not a heaven
on earth, but rather a place of
ministry.”
Heb 13:2, 1 Peter 4:9, Matt
25:34ff, Rom 12:13

2 Do not neglect to show
hospitality to strangers, for
thereby some have
entertained angels
unawares.
9 Show hospitality to one
another without grumbling.
13 Contribute to the needs of
the saints and seek to show
hospitality.

2 Do not neglect to show
hospitality to strangers, for
thereby some have
entertained angels
unawares.
9 Show hospitality to one
another without grumbling.
13 Contribute to the needs of
the saints and seek to show
hospitality.
How can you use your
home for the glory of God
and still retain a proper
family life?
Should you home always
be open or can you say to
people they cannot come
at certain times?

10. A Pastor must be a
lover of good
Titus 1:8
A pastor genuinely loves
what is good.
He does not just think he
should love it.

11. A Pastor must be self-
controlled
Self-control is a characteristic of every area of a
pastor’s life:
Habits, diet, time, mouth, exercise,
relationships, sex, money...

12. A Pastor must be
upright
Titus 1:8
Being upright means that he has integrity in his
heart, his relationships and in how he treats others.

13. A Pastor must be holy
Titus 1:8
Holy = set apart.
His life is devoted
wholeheartedly to Jesus
externally and internally.
Hebrews 12:14

13. A Pastor must be holy
Titus 1:8
Holy = set apart.
His life is devoted
wholeheartedly to Jesus
externally and internally.
Hebrews 12:14
Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being
sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will
be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the
passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who
called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,
16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

14. A Pastor must be able
to teach
All of the other
qualiﬁcations are
character qualities. This
is the only ability-
based requirement.
He is to be able to teach
sound doctrine, not just
be able to communicate
well.

14. A Pastor must be able
to teach
His teaching can be to one
or two, to twenty, to a
hundred or to a thousand.
Most of the churches in
Crete were house
churches. The elders were
to defend the faith once
delivered to the saints
against the numerous
false teachers that arose.

spiritually Mature
1 Tim 3:6
Positions of authority without spiritual
maturity lead to the trap of pride. When pride
grows in a man, sin abounds.

The chief
occupational hazard
of leadership is
pride.
John Stott

respectable
1 Tim 3:7
That does not mean that
everyone must like him
or even appreciate him.
It means that there is no
credible witness to an
ongoing sinful behavior.

17. A Pastor must be an
example to the flock
1 Peter 5:3
Elders are examples of
Biblical expressions
conversations, time
management,
marriage, parenting,
worship,
relationships...

17. A Pastor must be an
example to the flock
1 Peter 5:3
Elders are examples of
Biblical expressions
conversations, time
management,
marriage, parenting,
worship,
relationships...
“A pastor should be
someone your sons could
pattern their life after and
the kind of man your
daughter should marry.”

What should you do if an elder violates one of
these requirements?
1 Timothy 5:19-20 warns us not to accuse an
elder ﬂippantly, “Do not admit a charge against
an elder except on the evidence of two or three
witnesses. 20 As for those who persist in sin,
rebuke them in the presence of all,so that the
rest may stand in fear.”
Matthew 18:15-18 then gives us the
appropriate steps to take.

The end...
For now at least

Bridge session2

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

Similar to Bridge session2

Similar to Bridge session2 (20)

More from Richard Chamberlain

More from Richard Chamberlain (20)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (20)

Bridge session2