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1. Why Sucks.

5. Twilight is the story of the so-called “average” new girl Bella Swan (Ha, ha, get it? Beautiful Swan?), who finds herself as the object of not one, not two, but a total of five boys’ romantic designs (because she’s so “plain”, see?). The most important of these is the mysterious, hilariously-Byronic Edward Cullen. Bella plays the pitiful damsel in distress a few times and after 200 pages of thinly written suspense, we learn that Edward is in fact a vampire. Never fear, though, because Bella’s “Adonis-like” admirer with a “pefectly sculpted chest” is no Dracula. Instead, he and his vampire family are so-called “vegetarian” vampires, feeding off of animals instead of humans and inexplicably attending high school (during lunch periods they buy trays of food and stare at each other so that Bella can conveniently get a glimpse of Edward from across the cafeteria). The first novel deals with Bella and Edward’s romance and is capped off by a hastily tacked-on plot designed to shove Bella into the damsel in distress role yet again so that her vampire lover can save her.

7. In New Moon , Bella enters a self-described “zombie” state when Edward leaves her. In fact, the author oh-so-cleverly inserts blank pages with the months’ names as a poorly conceived plot device for showing the depths of her heroine’s pain and also to avoid having to write the “hard stuff.” Bella turns near-suicidal; she purposely puts herself in harm’s way-going so far as to jump off a cliff-to hear her lover’s imagined voice in her head. The sole bright spot of New Moon is the lovable Jacob Black, a member of the nearby La Push reservation and newly-turned werewolf. It is in Bella’s scenes with Jacob that readers see a glimpse of actual personality, and the burgeoning romance is certainly much more true to real-life teen romances than the lofty ideals of the star cross’d lovers Edward and Bella. But add another half-forgotten plot into the mix and Edward and Bella are reunited, with Jacob left by the wayside like a kicked puppy.

11. Word Usage Reason #4 as to why Twilight is the worst series ever... oops, I mean the consistently most unfavorable consecution... Stephanie Meyer makes her writing way more complicated than it should be. I guess this was in an attempt to make her sound intelligent or something, but the end result is just pathetic. It's as though she used a thesaurus to replace every. single. word. "Small town" becomes "diminutive municipality", and it just sounds ridiculous. And don't think for a second that this sort of thing is just here-and-there - it's on nearly every single page.

12. Reason #3: Character Development: These characters are NOT like onions - they have one-layer personalities! First of all, there is far too much character development, and not enough character to develop, if that makes sense. I mean to say that the characters are flat and predictable and there is zero mystery remaining past the initial paragraph of their introduction. All of the characters can be summed up in whole in one or two words. Bella is clumsy. Edward is sparkly. Bella's dad is quiet. So on and so forth. The end. No more development of character. Don't think there's some hidden traits to these characters that you'll discover in later books... there's not.

13. Reason #2 Boring Plot Really, eye-gougingly, fall-asleep-reading-it boring. When it comes to the plot of the book, THERE IS NONE! One sentence summary of the entire series: A girl falls in love with a vampire, who she winds up with together forever despite a few minor discrepancies.That's it, really. The rest is fluffy, boring filler. The "climax" takes place in the last two chapters of the books and has nothing to do with the preceding 400 pages. The "conflict" is resolved far too easily.

19. Reason #1 why I hate Twlight: Bella Swan: The World's Worst Role Model Submission and insecurity does NOT make for a character that we should encourage young girls to look up to. Bella Swan is the main character of the series. Somehow, despite being horribly plain and clumsy (and not to mention a new student at her high school in a really small town), she manages to have several guys fawning all over her without any effort at all. So, okay, she's a completely unrealistic character. How does that make her a poor role model, you ask?

20. Well, throughout the series, Bella becomes completely dependent on the "love of her life," a vampire. She is insecure and thrives on his attention When she finds out that he had been watching her sleep, she is delighted, rather than being understandably freaked out. By the end of book one, she is more than ready to give up any ambition to go to college or pursue a normal life, and strongly wishes to be a vampire so she can become immortal and spend the rest of her life with a boy she basically just met. And how does Stephanie Meyer continue this sickening teenage codependent affair? By making Bella continually more and more submissive to "her man" throughout the series. By the time she's eighteen, she's a vampire mom. Great, awesome. Thanks for trying to inspire our youth, Stephanie Meyer.