1.
PRE-RECOMMENDATIONS INTRO
FOR BETTERMEANS.COM

2.
Meet the Conversion Sequence
• Developed by MarketingExperiments
• Breaks down the key elements for
crafting copy on the web
• All my feedback will be based largely
on this sequence
C = Conversion
M = Motivation
People come to your site with a particular motivation in mind. The motivation to visit BetterMeans may be to learn
about a cool new tech company or (preferably) to find a great new project management solution. You cannot influence
motivation on your site; you can only reflect your users’ motivations in your copy.
V = Value proposition
A value proposition is, potentially, the most important copy on your website (especially for new users). It should be
placed early on in the funnel on your site – at least on your home page and on your key landing pages (e.g., PPC
landing pages). NOTE: Value props are not necessarily taglines, though they can be.
I = Incentive
An incentive – like a promo – is too often used by new companies to get people in… but it should really be a last resort
(i.e., if value prop, motivation, and anxiety-busters aren’t working).
F = Friction
Fiction is simply how difficult it is for users to make sense of your messages and/or use your site. It’s usability.
A = Anxiety
Visitors may come to your site with anxiety visitors have about choosing your solution (e.g., anxious about switching
from current project management solution; anxious about signing up for new product). Down the road, you may want
to speak to users in greater detail about their anxieties so you can overcome them at key points on your site.

3.
Big Opportunity: Refining the
BetterMeans Value Proposition
A WELL-FORMED VALUE PROPOSITION:
1. Highlights the benefits or values of the BetterMeans
offering that are MOST DESIRABLE to customers
2. Is stated in a single, succinct, meaningful and clear
statement
3. Applies only to your brand/offering (i.e., EXCLUSIVE to
you; your competitors can’t claim the same)
4. Survives the test of time (is unchanging)
Your current
value
proposition

4.
Sample Strong Value Props
COMPANY/BRAND VALUE PROP TAGLINE
Fresh, quality, great-tasting
fast food made with real
ingredients.
Where’s the beef?
Quality Is Our Recipe
The milk chocolate melts in
your mouth, not in your
hands.
The milk chocolate melts in
your mouth, not in your hands.
The world’s leading diamond
company with unrivalled
expertise in the exploration,
mining and marketing of
diamonds.
A diamond is forever
Compare hundreds of travel
sites at once to find the deal
that’s right for you.
Search One and Done

5.
COPY ASSESSMENT FOR
BETTERMEANS.COM

6.
SUMMARY
• Biggest opportunities are on home page
• Navigation copy challenges  too simple?
• “Why” feels like an unnecessary page
• No clear calls to action on any pages
• Heavy paragraphs on some pages

7.
Overview: Home
• Copy is very sparse
• Copy does not sufficiently explain in text:
– What this product is
– Whom this product is ideal for
– What pain you will solve for me & my team
– Why I should click to learn more
• Value proposition is complex, difficult to grasp
• Video does all the talking… but it’s 3+ minutes long (so it’s
not ‘scannable’)
• No social proof (i.e., anxiety-reducers):
– Which company that I trust is using this product already?
– What do existing users have to say about this product?
– What newspapers, bloggers, etc are writing about this product?
• See APPENDIX for more about your key messages here

8.
Overview: Why
Play button
gets lost on
grey video
Why bettermeans… what?
What is this solution?
GRAMMAR:
Cut comma
in this line
The Einstein quote to the side
explains all of the copy I’m
now covering. Although this
copy is good, it’s “warmup”
text that may lose the reader.Break up
paragraphs
of text with
bullets, links
and
headlines.
No call to action in
this important area
It’s not clear what the value of this page is. The “how” page seems to do what this
page does, but better.

9.
Overview: How
• Fantastic long-form page that clearly breaks
out what’s great about the bettermeans
approach to decision-making, prioritization,
and project management
• The section “Order Derived from…” is a bit too
overwhelming/intimidating to read with its
multiline copy blocks.
• The FAQs at the bottom of the page seem to
be strong enough to warrant their own page.

10.
Overview: What
• Another great page
– Strong headline for the page
– Great headlines to describe the screenshot
– Great bullet lists of what you can do
• The ‘blue cloud’ areas between sections on
the longer pages create a false bottom –
several times, I stopped scrolling, thinking I
was at the bottom of the page, only to look at
my scrollbar and see that there’s more to go

11.
Overview: Pricing
• The 3 reasons to believe at the top (i.e., setup
in 60, no credit card, free trial) get lost in text
• The pricing FAQs are good here… but they
might also be great with the other FAQs
• The tone for the copy on this page is the best
tone of any page on the site

12.
Overview: Navigation
• Short words are great
• Unclear what the difference is between “why”,
“how” and “what”
– Little indication as to what a user will find inside
each page… so no reason to click
• Could just as easily name them 1, 2, 3 or A, B, C

13.
ASSESSMENT: Your Value Prop
• Too many large words
– Pretend your site visitors are in grade 6, even if they’re PhDs;
simple, clear language is easier to read for everyone in
stimulating computer environments
• I have no idea what it means
– Needs to be clear… which means the average visitor to your site
should be able to ‘get it’ the first time they read it
• Tries to cram in everything
– Your value prop needs to focus on what’s important for
customers about your offering
Your current
value
proposition

14.
ASSESSMENT: Your Value Prop
• Need to simplify
– From what I can surmise, bettermeans is a project
management tool that lets you vote on what you
want to work on
• Yes, there’s much more to it than that… but you have to
choose a small number of important points and state
them clearly… or users won’t get it
• Says nothing about your target market
– It doesn’t have to say anything about your ideal
customer… but that could really help

15.
COPY RECOMMENDATIONS FOR
BETTERMEANS.COM

16.
Summary
• Add more social proof (e.g., companies using
this product, testimonials, media reviews)
• Let headlines work harder
• Use more ‘scannable’ text (e.g., bullets,
button calls-to-action)
• KEY: Refine value proposition

17.
RECOMMENDATIONS: General
• List the kinds of companies this solution is ideal for
– List the companies who are already using it
– In your FAQs section, you list the types of organization this
solution is best for… but I’d recommend you get more
specific; “knowledge-based collaboration” could mean
“tech startups”, couldn’t it? Use clearer keywords that
users are looking for… and don’t be afraid to show an
actual bullet list of org types that this solution’s made for.
• Reconsider interruptive ‘blue clouds’; link in more
traditional ways, or make the clouds look like buttons
you can click
• Consider putting top reasons to believe (e.g., setup in
60) into graphical form so they get noticed

18.
RECOMMENDATIONS: General
• Where possible, use bullet lists
• Avoid paragraphs that are longer than 3 lines
• Let headlines work harder:
– Elevate great statements like “Be 10x as productive as
traditional companies” to headlines
– Example changes:
• “New Team Structure” becomes “Goodbye, Boss Man”
• “Full Transparency” becomes “No More Secrets”
• “Distributed Leadership. Not Management” becomes “Let Great
Leaders Rise to the Top”
• Include more obvious calls to action
– Currently lacking traditional buttons and text links, which,
although ‘traditional’, really help people make decisions

19.
RECOMMENDATIONS: Your Value Prop
SAMPLE VALUE PROPS FOR BETTERMEANS:
Vote up the best project ideas –
and make every team member a key contributor
The innovative project management solution
for innovative small businesses
The smart, affordable – and democratic – way
to tackle complex problems in your org
Rethink command & control in your organization

20.
RECOMMENDATIONS: Nav
• Delete the “why” page entirely
– Other pages cover this content better
• Rename “how” something clear (e.g., How It Works,
How It’s Different, Work Smarter, Get Details, Open
Philosophy)
• Rename “what” something clear (e.g., Tour, Features)
• Turn FAQs sections into FAQs page in nav
how it’s better features faqs
Current
Proposed

21.
OPPORTUNITY: HOME PAGE
RECOMMENDED COPY

22.
Current Home Page

23.
Recommended Copy on Home Page

24.
APPENDIX & MISCELLANEOUS

25.
DESIRE
EXCLUSIVITY
Rank 0 1 2
0
1
2
Value Proposition Assessment Matrix
Desire
0 – No interest
1 – Possible interest
2 – High interest
Exclusivity
0 – Anywhere else
1 – Somewhere else
2 – Nowhere else
Steps:
1. Rank the ideal customer’s desire level for the value proposition.
2. Rank the exclusivity of the value prop.
3. Multiply the two integers.
4. If the total is less than 2, re-craft your value prop.
Value Proposition
< insert proposed value prop
here >
Copy page &
complete for
each VP

26.
Faster, better decision-making
Smarter project management &
prioritization
Promotes openness
Emphasizes efficiency
Works democratically
WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH BM
HOW DOES BM
CHANGE THINGS?
WHY YOU SHOULD USE BM
1. No command & control – everyone’s equal, everyone’s voice is heard
2. New, faster, more efficient ways of making decisions (especially about what your team will
work on – great for prioritizing)
3. Smart teams that move quickly: Choose what you want to work on… so ideas that don’t
have group support don’t happen (voting)  work environment becomes driven by profit +
exciting projects that get voted up (= team engagement)
4. Transparent activity stream – both internal and to public groups (if you want)
5. Promote compensation for contributions
6. Standard collab tools like wikis, discussion boards, document storage
Social entrepreneurs
WHO SHOULD USE BM
Rethink
Command &
Control

27.
RECOMMENDATIONS: Messages
• CHANGE THE WORLD: This message, though
nice, feels too lofty and overwhelming for the
average person.
– We all want to change the world, but we need to
have that change broken down for us – like
“recycle every Tuesday” or “use green cleaning
products”.
– From a messaging perspective, I would
recommend subordinating the “change our world”
message.

28.
RECOMMENDATIONS: Messages
• REINVENT HOW WE WORK TOGETHER: This
message is brilliant, succinct, and reflective of
what many social entrepreneurs already think
they’re doing: reinventing something.
– Speaks well to your audience of ‘inventors’ (i.e.,
innovators).
– Possibility to push this message further to remind
users that innovative people wouldn’t consider doing
something the old way… so why should their project
management & decision-making processes be old?
– From a messaging perspective, I would recommend
keeping this message high in the messaging hierarchy.