The document is a script that follows three friends, Brent, Zach, and Neal, at a college bookstore. Brent tries unsuccessfully to sell back his textbooks, angering him. Zach believes he sees a vampire in the store and obsessively follows her. Neal gains popularity by lecturing students in the fantasy section. Brent then harasses other students trying to sell his books directly, getting him and Zach banned from the store. Neal is forced to escort them out while still attracting admiration from others in the store.

1. Mature
"Bookstore"
Written by
Bryan Kett
episode 007

2. Mature
"Bookstore"
1.
INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - EARLY AFTERNOON
ZACH, NEAL, and BRENT enter a bookstore. Brent is holding a
stack of books.
ZACH
Okay, I’m gonna go browse.
BRENT
Self-help section?
Brent sneers.
NEAL
Don’t be rude.
ZACH
No, he’s right. Have fun returning
those to get money to help you open
that bar.
BRENT
Not opening a bar, taking the bar. As
in the law exam. As in, preparing for
something ahead of time. As in,
something you’d know nothing about.
Zach glazes over, nods his head, and exits. Brent and Neal
stare at each other. Brent shakes his head.
NEAL
You cool here?
Yep.
BRENT
Brent gets in a long line. Neal exits.
INT. BACK OF BOOKSTORE - SELF-HELP SECTION - EARLY AFTERNOON
Zach drags his finger along the spines of the different books
on the shelves.
ZACH
(to himself)
Drywall, engine repair, bonsai.
(beat)
Oh, understanding your inner you!
He reaches for a book, flips through it, and looks down the
aisle. His jaw drops.

3. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED:
Oh my God.
2.
ZACH (CONT’D)
He turns and runs.
INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - LINE - MOMENTS LATER
Zach stands in line holding his stack of used textbooks. Next
to him, MANDY (20s) is holding one of the same books he is.
BRENT
I see you’re also selling back
Johnson’s “Professional Conduct.”
Didn’t you think it was a total waste
of time?
MANDY
(cold)
I’m buying it. And I’m really looking
forward to it.
BRENT
Yeah, it’s really good. Glad we agree.
I’m jealous that you haven’t read it
yet. Wish I could take it all in for
the first time again.
MANDY
Do you even go here? Or are you just
one of those guys who hangs out in
bookstores for shelter or whatever?
BRENT
No, no. I go here part time. Studying
for the bar now.
MANDY
(warm)
Really? That’s so cool.
BRENT
I’d be happy to give you any advice. I
almost became a teacher, too, you
know.
(beat)
I love kids.
Zach bursts in, out of breath.
ZACH
Brent, listen to me.

4. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED:
3.
BRENT
(trying to keep his cool)
Do I know you?
ZACH
(panting)
There’s a girl...over there...I think
she’s...a vampire.
Brent turns to Mandy and smiles.
BRENT
Excuse us for one moment.
He grabs Zach’s arm.
BRENT (CONT’D)
What is wrong with you?
ZACH
Listen man, she’s pale. Like, real
pale.
BRENT
Pale people aren’t vampires, Brent. I
don’t know how many times we have to
go over this.
ZACH
No, but all vampires are pale. It’s
like the rectangle and the square.
BRENT
I don’t care.
(beat)
Wait, what?
ZACH
You know, a square can be considered a
rectangle, but a rectangle can’t be
considered a square. Same thing here.
Can’t believe you don’t know that. And
you want to be a doctor? Eeesh.
What? No-
BRENT
ZACH
She’s got a real dark vibe to her.
BRENT
Maybe she’s just gothic or something?

5. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED: (2)
4.
ZACH
Vampires, goths. Good point. But
again, rectangle and square. I’m after
it.
Zach runs away. Brent, speechless, turns back to Mandy.
BRENT
Where were we?
INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - FANTASY NOVEL SECTION - THAT MOMENT
Neal stands, idly browsing some of the titles. He turns to
see an undergraduate, GABBY (18), browsing. Neal leans over
to him.
NEAL
If you’re looking for something
worthwhile, I’d recommend The Crystal
Sword. You’re welcome.
Smug, Neal goes back browsing.
GABBY
I’ve read it.
NEAL
Ah, very good then. Sorry to intrude.
I’ve just always thought of it as a
cornerstone to all things magical
realism.
Really?
GABBY
NEAL
I mean, sure. Look at its sense of
mystery, its fantastical elements, and
not to mention its political
commentary.
(beat)
Sorry, I’m babbling. Enjoy.
GABBY
(in awe)
What else do you know?
INT. BACK OF BOOKSTORE - SELF-HELP SECTION - THAT MOMENT
Zach casually walks over to the VAMPIRE GIRL (early 20s, dark
clothing).

6. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED:
5.
ZACH
(not making eye contact)
Nice weather we’re having. Overcast.
I guess.
VAMPIRE GIRL
ZACH
I imagine if it was sunnier, you
wouldn’t be here.
VAMPIRE GIRL
I guess I’d be out doing something
else?
ZACH
Right, right.
Zach, trying too hard to be casual, reaches for a book.
ZACH (CONT’D)
Hey, check it out. Cookbook.
VAMPIRE GIRL
Looks like it.
She turns away. He runs in front of her.
ZACH
You like to cook?
VAMPIRE GIRL
Um, I guess?
ZACH
No garlic, though. Right?
He winks at her.
INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - LINE - THAT SAME MOMENT
Brent stands in front of a small crowd of students, all
watching him in admiration and holding stacks of textbooks.
BRENT
I mean, I wouldn’t say “expert” or
anything, but I know my law texts.
Watch.
(pointing to the texts in
each person’s hand)
Dumb, dumb, important, dumb, dumb,
important, important, dumb, dumb.

7. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED:
6.
MANDY
Wow, Brent. You know so much.
BRENT
I know. And once I sell these back,
maybe I use those proceeds to buy you
a cup of coffee.
Mandy smiles. Brent steps to the front of the line, face to
face with the CASHIER (30s).
BRENT (CONT’D)
Hi, I’d like to sell these back.
The cashier takes the books and scans them.
CASHIER
That comes to $1.34.
BRENT
Whoa, a hundred and thirty four bucks?
Sounds like the cost of lunch when I’m
a big time lawyer.
He turns back to see if Mandy is impressed.
CASHIER
No, one dollar and thirty four cents.
You missed the sell-back window.
BRENT
I think you’re misunderstanding me:
The courses still use these texts. The
information hasn’t changed.
CASHIER
And I think you’re misunderstanding
me: while the information hasn’t
changed, the price has.
BRENT
This is unjust.
MANDY
It’s okay, Brent.
She puts her hand on his shoulder. So does a random NERD IN
LINE.
NERD IN LINE
Yeah, it’s okay Brent.

8. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED: (2)
7.
He puts his hand on Brent’s other’s shoulder. Brent
immediately takes his arm off.
BRENT
(to cashier)
This is an excellent example of
culpability.
The crowd behind him “oohs” and “aahs.”
BRENT (CONT’D)
And it’s an example of double
jeopardy. And maybe even triple
jeopardy.
CASHIER
You’re welcome to sell them elsewhere.
BRENT
You just did yourself in. Checkmate.
Dug your own grave, grave digger.
He violently rings the bell at the checkout counter and
storms away. Mandy follows.
INT. BACK OF BOOKSTORE - SELF-HELP SECTION - LATER
Zach stands uncomfortably close to the Vampire Girl.
ZACH
So you want to get together sometime?
Grab a bite?
She stares blankly at him.
VAMPIRE GIRL
No, I’m fine. Thanks.
You sure?
ZACH
He pulls down a flyer for a blood drive that’s pinned to a
bulletin board nearby.
ZACH (CONT’D)
Why don’t we make a day of it? Blood
drive?
She starts to edge away.
ZACH (CONT’D)
No? Not into it? Don’t run.

9. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED:
8.
She walks away. He follows her.
ZACH (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Come over here and let me see your
reflection.
(beat)
Or lack there of.
INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - LINE - MOMENTS LATER
Brent stands off to the side, stewing. Mandy approaches.
MANDY
So, about that coffee?
BRENT
Not thirsty.
(beat)
If I sell the book directly to the
consumer, that’ll show them, right?
MANDY
(losing interest)
Okay?
BRENT
That way, we’ll both get more money
than we would have.
MANDY
So that’s a no on the coffee?
BRENT
Eliminate the middle man, yeah.
Mandy storms away. Brent sees LAW STUDENT #1 (mid 20s)
browsing a bookshelf. He approaches and tries to get his
attention through the bookshelf.
BRENT (CONT’D)
(whispering)
Psssst.
Law Student #1 looks around, pulls out a book, and sees
Brent’s face in the opening.
BRENT (CONT’D)
Here’s a riddle: what’s expensive and
rectangular, and read all over?
Answer: the books here. Right?
Law Student #1 puts the book back, covering up Brent’s face.
Brent comes from around the corner.

10. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED:
9.
BRENT (CONT’D)
What can I do to interest you in
something cheaper?
Law Student #1 quickly shuffles away.
INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - FANTASY NOVEL SECTION
Neal stands before a large crowd.
NEAL
And the thing is, yeah, it’s a bit
over the top with its depiction of
goblins. I’ll be the first to admit
that, but it gets the job done.
The crowd murmurs in agreement.
VOICE IN THE CROWD (O.S.)
What’s your take on hobbits?
NEAL
Oh, great question.
The crowd leans in.
INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - LAW SECTION - EARLY AFTERNOON
Brent casually approaches LAW STUDENT #2 (early 20s) looking
at the same book Brent tried to sell back earlier.
BRENT
You gotta buy that for class?
Mhmmm.
LAW STUDENT #2
BRENT
What about this one? I’ll knock 20
bucks off of whatever they’re
offering.
LAW STUDENT #2
Seriously? I don’t know...
BRENT
Come on, man. Don’t be a baby. Live a
little.
LAW STUDENT
Okay, I guess.

11. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED:
10.
Law Student #2 goes to get his wallet. At that moment, a
SECURITY GUARD puts his hand on Brent’s shoulder. Brent spins
around.
SECURITY GUARD
Is this the guy that was harassing
you?
Brent turns, behind the security guard is Law Student #1.
SECURITY GUARD (CONT’D)
(to Law Student #1)
Was he also harassing you, sir?
He nods. The security guard directs Brent towards the door.
BRENT
(turning, yelling)
Come on, we were street. Not cool.
Don’t be a snitch.
(beat)
I’m sorry. I’ll knock thirty bucks
off? Forty?
(yelling)
Neal! I need you! Where are you?
INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - FANTASY NOVEL SECTION - THAT MOMENT
Neal stands before his adoring crowd.
NEAL
And sometimes it’s like, science
fiction? I’d like to see that peer
reviewed.
The crowd laughs heartily.
GABBY
How does someone so cute know so much?
Neal!
BRENT (O.S.)
Neal stands up and looks into the distance.
What is it?
GABBY
NEAL
I need to go. My skills are needed
elsewhere.

12. Mature
"Bookstore"
CONTINUED:
11.
He looks longingly at her and then darts away. Gabby sits
speechless.
INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - FRONT DOOR - MOMENTS LATER
Neal approaches to see Zach and Brent detained by the
Security Guard. Zach stands calmly while Brent thrashes.
BRENT
Gotta bring down the entrepreneur,
huh? Typical. Squashing the little
guy.
ZACH
I’m just saying, there’s a real threat
here. You’re all going to be super
sorry when you get bitten and turn
into the undead.
BRENT
You’re banning me with this guy? You
know how humiliating this is?
ZACH
(to Brent)
It’s cool. We’re banned brothers, now.
SECURITY GUARD
These two belong to you?
Neal nods.
SECURITY GUARD (CONT’D)
They gotta go.
He starts marching them out. Neal follows. Two nerdy girls
look at Neal in admiration. He winks. They giggle.
BRENT
Stop it, Zach. Banned brothers isn’t
even a thing.
ZACH
If we can send Neal back in to buy it
for us, there’s a book I found that
you should read about understanding
your inner you.
END OF ACT