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Men’s Weekend 2009 Love, marriage and break-up in the media Brothers in Arms Love, marriage & break-up  in the media Talk 1
“ Imagine if you will, a flat territory that is deeply cut by a ravine or a canyon.  On the one side of the ravine is the  biblical world , and on the other side is the  modern world .  Between these two territories lies a deep gulf – two thousands years of changing culture.  Evangelical people live in the  biblical world , on one side of the divide.  We believe the Bible, meditate on the Bible, and love the Bible.  We are essentially  biblical people .  But we are not so comfortable in the  modern world , on the other side of the divide Those who think themselves as liberal often make the opposite mistake.  They live in the  modern world .  People listen to them because they seem to resonate with modernity, or post-modernity.  But in reality they have jettisoned biblical revelation.  They may be contemporary, but they are decidedly un-biblical.  Their preaching lands squarely in  contemporary reality .
…  Evangelicals are biblical, but not contemporary, while liberals are contemporary but not biblical. We need  ‘double listening’   Listening to the voice of God in Scripture, and listening to the voices of the modern world, with all their cries of anger, pain and despair…”
Media as  agent of socialisation Socialisation is the process whereby individuals are made aware of the  behaviour  that others  expect of them  regarding norms and values
Total broadcast  TV  viewing (average UK) in Q3 of 2009 was  23.2  hours a week Total broadcast  Radio  listening (average UK) was  22.1  hours a week
Internet consumption in 2010 will average  32  hours per week Research shows that for some  18-24 year olds   the PC is the only television screen To this generation, TV frequently means video delivered on demand,  with one in seven  18-24 year olds now watching no live TV at all.
“ Their preaching lands squarely in  contemporary reality ”
Media literacy ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Love ... and the media
Clip 01 The Wedding Singer
Clip 02 Love Actually
Clip 02 When Harry Met Sally
“ To love someone, when there is no chance of that love ever thriving, that is romance.” Dawson's Creek
“ We should all be so lucky to have someone who will never let us go. The ultimate legacy is to leave behind someone who will love you forever.” Ally McBeal
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (1-5) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (1-5) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (1-5) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
“ Through movies and television I’ve become accustomed to seeing how mass media couples act and react to each other. They always know how to say the most unbelievably romantic thing at the right time. They also have some weird from of telepathy where they’re always thinking the same thing as the other person. These kinds of portrayal have made my own relationship almost impossible at times.”   Jason, 21 year old student
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (1-5) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (1-5) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (6-10) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (6-10) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (6-10) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
“ The classic sitcom  Cheers  is one of my all-time favourites. Like Same and Diane I was in a rocky relationship, except ours wasn’t always peppered with great one-liners. Nevertheless, I thought that constant fighting was how an exciting couple communicated their intense feelings for each other, like in  Cheers . Turns out constant fighting is part of relationships – dysfunctional ones! We broke up, but first we wasted a lot of time and energy trying to live up to what looked so exciting and romantic of television.”   T Darren, 24
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (6-10) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Golden Rules of Love on TV (6-10) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
The study found that mass media images in television, movies, and advertisements affect or reinforce  unrealistic ideals about romantic relationships .  Furthermore, the study discovered that mass media images affect children's perceptions of romance. They noted that from watching media, children associated romance with excessive or  grandiose expectations about relationships .
Mass media, specifically television images influence romantic partners to have  negative perceptions  about their own romantic relationships, possibly to the point of  terminating their relationships .
Most people are aware that movies are fictional, yet movies still have an  influence on our moods .  Women, especially, wish their husbands were more like the  romantic heroes  in their favourite movies.
Clip 04 Pretty Woman
Glimpses of biblical truth At mealtime Boaz said to her, “Come over here. Have some bread and dip it in the wine vinegar.” When she sat down with the harvesters, he offered her some roasted grain. She ate all she wanted and had left some over. As she got up to glean, Boaz gave orders to his men, “Even if she gathers among the sheaves, don’t embarrass her. Rather, pull out some stalks for her from the bundles and leave them for her to pick up, and don’t rebuke her”  Ruth 2: 14-16
Marriage ... and the media
Clip 05 Fawlty Towers
Clip 06 Sex In The City
[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Marriage  is often portrayed by TV and magazines as something you  endure  rather than enjoy.
Shows like  Friends   glorify the single life and show marriage as a last resort. They become anti-marriage advertisements.  - Marriage is a trap - Children are a nuisance - Live it up while you can
It’s predicted that a  third  of today’s teenagers will cohabit rather than ever marry. Only one in ten of their grandparents lived this way. Source: ONS/Guardian, 2007 Less than a  fifth  of cohabiting unions survive 5 years or more. Less than a tenth survive ten years or more. Source: Families in Britain, Cabinet Office Strategy Unit 2008 The number of children born outside marriage rose from 27.9% in 1990 to  42.9%   in 2006. Source: Mintel, 2007 In 2006,  39%  of UK weddings involved someone who was getting married for at least the second time. Source: ONS, 2008 The Civil Partnership Act came into force December 2005. Since then  18,000  civil partnerships have been formed. Almost all are in England and Wales; only 1% took place in Northern Ireland. Source: ONS, 2007
In the 1950s and '60s it used to be that you would  never see married couples in bed together
... when you turn the television on now you still  never see married couples in bed together , but for entirely different reasons…  ...You'll see teenagers in bed with prostitutes, men in bed with their mistresses, and teachers in bed with their students .... such practices appear on screen  2.7 times   as often as marital sex does
Even children and teens who seldom watch TV can easily come across references to or depictions of abnormal sex, and suffer long-lasting effects on how they think and feel about sex and marriage.   Washington Times , November 2008
Glimpses of biblical truth Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  Ephesians 5: 25-28
Split-up ... and the media
In reality,  today's marriages   are more like the Hollywood stars' marriages, who play the heroes.  Many in Hollywood marry out of  infatuation , instead of love and end up in unhappy divorces.  Instead of being prepared for the work, they give up and claim  irreconcilable differences .
On TV sex within marriage is either a burden or nonexistent, while adultery and  extramarital sex   are  exciting  and  positive  experiences for the people involved.  Across hundreds of hours of programming, references to non marital sex outnumbered references to marital sex by  three to one   There were  twice  as many references to adultery as to married sex. When references to  marital sex  did crop up, they were usually  negative .
 
Clip 07 What Katie Did Next
 
Clip 08 Peter - The Next Chapter
Whilst attitudes to premarital sex have become more liberal; they have remained unchanged with regards to extramarital sex.  85%  of people disapprove.  The same percentage disapproved back in  1985 . Source: BSA 24th report, 2008
Questions for discussion ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

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All Souls Mens Weekend - Love, marriage and break-up in the media

  • 1. Men’s Weekend 2009 Love, marriage and break-up in the media Brothers in Arms Love, marriage & break-up in the media Talk 1
  • 2. “ Imagine if you will, a flat territory that is deeply cut by a ravine or a canyon. On the one side of the ravine is the biblical world , and on the other side is the modern world . Between these two territories lies a deep gulf – two thousands years of changing culture. Evangelical people live in the biblical world , on one side of the divide. We believe the Bible, meditate on the Bible, and love the Bible. We are essentially biblical people . But we are not so comfortable in the modern world , on the other side of the divide Those who think themselves as liberal often make the opposite mistake. They live in the modern world . People listen to them because they seem to resonate with modernity, or post-modernity. But in reality they have jettisoned biblical revelation. They may be contemporary, but they are decidedly un-biblical. Their preaching lands squarely in contemporary reality .
  • 3. … Evangelicals are biblical, but not contemporary, while liberals are contemporary but not biblical. We need ‘double listening’ Listening to the voice of God in Scripture, and listening to the voices of the modern world, with all their cries of anger, pain and despair…”
  • 4. Media as agent of socialisation Socialisation is the process whereby individuals are made aware of the behaviour that others expect of them regarding norms and values
  • 5. Total broadcast TV viewing (average UK) in Q3 of 2009 was 23.2 hours a week Total broadcast Radio listening (average UK) was 22.1 hours a week
  • 6. Internet consumption in 2010 will average 32 hours per week Research shows that for some 18-24 year olds the PC is the only television screen To this generation, TV frequently means video delivered on demand, with one in seven 18-24 year olds now watching no live TV at all.
  • 7. “ Their preaching lands squarely in contemporary reality ”
  • 8.
  • 9. Love ... and the media
  • 10. Clip 01 The Wedding Singer
  • 11. Clip 02 Love Actually
  • 12. Clip 02 When Harry Met Sally
  • 13. “ To love someone, when there is no chance of that love ever thriving, that is romance.” Dawson's Creek
  • 14. “ We should all be so lucky to have someone who will never let us go. The ultimate legacy is to leave behind someone who will love you forever.” Ally McBeal
  • 15.
  • 16.
  • 17.
  • 18. “ Through movies and television I’ve become accustomed to seeing how mass media couples act and react to each other. They always know how to say the most unbelievably romantic thing at the right time. They also have some weird from of telepathy where they’re always thinking the same thing as the other person. These kinds of portrayal have made my own relationship almost impossible at times.” Jason, 21 year old student
  • 19.
  • 20.
  • 21.
  • 22.
  • 23.
  • 24. “ The classic sitcom Cheers is one of my all-time favourites. Like Same and Diane I was in a rocky relationship, except ours wasn’t always peppered with great one-liners. Nevertheless, I thought that constant fighting was how an exciting couple communicated their intense feelings for each other, like in Cheers . Turns out constant fighting is part of relationships – dysfunctional ones! We broke up, but first we wasted a lot of time and energy trying to live up to what looked so exciting and romantic of television.” T Darren, 24
  • 25.
  • 26.
  • 27. The study found that mass media images in television, movies, and advertisements affect or reinforce unrealistic ideals about romantic relationships . Furthermore, the study discovered that mass media images affect children's perceptions of romance. They noted that from watching media, children associated romance with excessive or grandiose expectations about relationships .
  • 28. Mass media, specifically television images influence romantic partners to have negative perceptions about their own romantic relationships, possibly to the point of terminating their relationships .
  • 29. Most people are aware that movies are fictional, yet movies still have an influence on our moods . Women, especially, wish their husbands were more like the romantic heroes in their favourite movies.
  • 30. Clip 04 Pretty Woman
  • 31. Glimpses of biblical truth At mealtime Boaz said to her, “Come over here. Have some bread and dip it in the wine vinegar.” When she sat down with the harvesters, he offered her some roasted grain. She ate all she wanted and had left some over. As she got up to glean, Boaz gave orders to his men, “Even if she gathers among the sheaves, don’t embarrass her. Rather, pull out some stalks for her from the bundles and leave them for her to pick up, and don’t rebuke her” Ruth 2: 14-16
  • 32. Marriage ... and the media
  • 33. Clip 05 Fawlty Towers
  • 34. Clip 06 Sex In The City
  • 35.
  • 36.
  • 37. Marriage is often portrayed by TV and magazines as something you endure rather than enjoy.
  • 38. Shows like Friends glorify the single life and show marriage as a last resort. They become anti-marriage advertisements. - Marriage is a trap - Children are a nuisance - Live it up while you can
  • 39. It’s predicted that a third of today’s teenagers will cohabit rather than ever marry. Only one in ten of their grandparents lived this way. Source: ONS/Guardian, 2007 Less than a fifth of cohabiting unions survive 5 years or more. Less than a tenth survive ten years or more. Source: Families in Britain, Cabinet Office Strategy Unit 2008 The number of children born outside marriage rose from 27.9% in 1990 to 42.9% in 2006. Source: Mintel, 2007 In 2006, 39% of UK weddings involved someone who was getting married for at least the second time. Source: ONS, 2008 The Civil Partnership Act came into force December 2005. Since then 18,000 civil partnerships have been formed. Almost all are in England and Wales; only 1% took place in Northern Ireland. Source: ONS, 2007
  • 40. In the 1950s and '60s it used to be that you would never see married couples in bed together
  • 41. ... when you turn the television on now you still never see married couples in bed together , but for entirely different reasons… ...You'll see teenagers in bed with prostitutes, men in bed with their mistresses, and teachers in bed with their students .... such practices appear on screen 2.7 times as often as marital sex does
  • 42. Even children and teens who seldom watch TV can easily come across references to or depictions of abnormal sex, and suffer long-lasting effects on how they think and feel about sex and marriage. Washington Times , November 2008
  • 43. Glimpses of biblical truth Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5: 25-28
  • 44. Split-up ... and the media
  • 45. In reality, today's marriages are more like the Hollywood stars' marriages, who play the heroes. Many in Hollywood marry out of infatuation , instead of love and end up in unhappy divorces. Instead of being prepared for the work, they give up and claim irreconcilable differences .
  • 46. On TV sex within marriage is either a burden or nonexistent, while adultery and extramarital sex are exciting and positive experiences for the people involved. Across hundreds of hours of programming, references to non marital sex outnumbered references to marital sex by three to one There were twice as many references to adultery as to married sex. When references to marital sex did crop up, they were usually negative .
  • 47.  
  • 48. Clip 07 What Katie Did Next
  • 49.  
  • 50. Clip 08 Peter - The Next Chapter
  • 51. Whilst attitudes to premarital sex have become more liberal; they have remained unchanged with regards to extramarital sex. 85% of people disapprove. The same percentage disapproved back in 1985 . Source: BSA 24th report, 2008
  • 52.