Recognize your talents and good qualities. No matter how down you feel, try
to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at.
Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws
and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks,
friendships, talents, and most of all, personality. Some people have certain
flaws for example, they tend to hold onto their stomach when they sing.
This can look awkward, but be sure to embrace it. If you're really at a high
level of confidence, for example, you can even make it your signature move
on stage. If you're struggling to come up with good qualities, try these tips:
• Think back on compliments from other people. Maybe
they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay
cool and collected in stressful situations. Be sure to
compliment them back!
Remember past accomplishments. It can be something
other people recognized, like being at the top of your class,
or something only you know about, like a quiet act of
service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how
great this was and consider doing it again, maybe at a
Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's
perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable,
good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact
that you think about bettering yourself at all says that
you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive
Make a list. Write down everything you can think of, and
refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as
you remember more things you can take pride in doing.
• Remember that everyone struggles with confidence.
Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every
person has struggled with his or her self-confidence
at one point. You're not alone! Try not to feel like all
eyes are on you, all the time. Most people are
probably too preoccupied with how they appear to be
constantly judging you. Breathe a sigh of relief and
recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the
• Build your confidence by helping others. Take time to
pay someone else a compliment, or do an
unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day,
and you'll feel better about yourself.
• Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not
everything is a competition, and viewing life that way
will wear you out. You don't have to be smartest,
prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy.
If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't
completely ignore, try competing with yourself
instead and strive to keep getting better.
Accept compliments gracefully. Don't just roll your eyes and
shrug it off — own it! Make eye contact, smile, and say "thank
you." Being nice about it when someone else wants to
compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that
you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth.
• Pay a compliment in return. If you're still
uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one
back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like
the score is "even" and you haven't been too prideful.
Don’t over-apologize.Being able to say you're sorry is a
good trait (and something too many people struggle with).
However, be careful to say it only when necessary.
Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced
someone is polite. Apologizing when you haven't done
anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate
and like you should be sorry. Before it slips out of your
mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that
actually needs an apology from you.Use workarounds. You
can express your sympathy or regret without actually
apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about
inconveniencing someone, you could say "I hope this hasn't
been too much trouble" instead of automatically reverting
to "I'm sorry."
Talk one notch louder than other person. That’s a
simple and an effective psychological technique to
become confident. When you are talking louder
your sub-conscious and unconscious mind is
recording your attitude towards the situation(you
are sending the signal that I m confident whether
you are with me or not) and as you make it as a
habit you will feel more self control and confident.
But don't be dominating.
Make a list of things that are obstacles to your confident.
Take a piece of paper or computer and write all the things
that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g.,
bad grades, introversion, not many friends or no friends. Now
write if the thing is valid or logical.Example. 'I didn't get a
good grade', Explanation: Ok, so it means I will feel confident
only when I will get good grades otherwise I will feel
miserable and unconfident(is this logical? and isn't that
extremely irrational), I thought confident means believing in
yourself, when nobody else does. am I doing it?
Look the part. Or, as the saying goes, "fake it 'til you make
it." If you know that you look like a confident, capable person,
eventually you'll start to feel it, too. Try these tricks:
Take care of yourself. Devote a little time each day to personal
hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. Shower
daily, brush and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair.
Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe
to feel better in your clothes. Instead, simply try to wear something
clean every day. Take it a step further by doing laundry often
enough that you feel like you have a choice about what to wear in
the morning, instead of settling for whatever isn't dirty.
Perfect your posture. How you carry yourself communicates a lot to
other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident
and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine straight, and
your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet,
and sit up straight.
Smile and make eye contact. It's a subtle change, but it can work
wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet
the gaze of someone else, and keep your grin in easy reach — both
of these things can disarm most social situations and make everyone
feel more comfortable
Embrace your interests. If there's a sport or hobby you've always wanted to
be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that
you are talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical
instrument or a foreign language, take up an art form like painting, start
building projects — whatever it is that catches your interest.
• Don't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning
is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation
time, not to be the best ever.
• Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share
your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look
around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow
See confidence as a process, not a singular
achievement. Having confidence isn't a finish
line you cross once, and the process won't
always move forward — there will be days
when you feel like you're starting from
square one. Take a deep breath, remember
the self-confidence hurdles you've already
cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the
toughest of times, it is good to make it your
duty to pat yourself on the back even if you
didn't do anything.