1.
Resignation with and
Adaptation to the work place,
supervisors, roles, positions,
and expectations.
Change what we can, accept
what is

2.
Sources of Power
• Age
• Experience
• Authority
• Threats
• Ridicule
• Power to build
coalitions
• Power to Withhold
–cooperation
–benefits

3.
What’s Your
Super Power?

4.
Bullying
B is for Bully copyright 2010 Reason Press
• Irrational demands
• Belligerent refusals to cooperate
• Last minute requests
• Name calling
• Shunning
• Back Biting
• Misleading comments
• Obstruction

5.
Deliberate
and
repeated
abuse of
power
B is for Bully copyright 2010 Reason Press

6.
Deliberate & Repeated
Abuse of Power
• Extortion
– Quid pro quo
– threats
• Shunning
• Gamesmanship
• Shaming
V is for Victim copyright 2010 Reason Press

7.
Who Bullied you?
Who Have You Bullied?

8.
Bullying is
a
Behavior
Not a
Person

9.
Left out
Isolated
Unwelcome
Disconnected
Judged
Misunderstood
Targeted
Overwhelmed
Frustrated
Disappointed
Guilty
Embarrassed

10.
People who have
experienced
trauma will
reflexively play
out all the
trauma roles of
victim, predator
and savior.

11.
The Truth

12.
Tit for Tat?
Cooperate
Retaliate for Betrayal
Forgive
Return to Cooperation
Z is for Zen Master copyright 2010 Reason
Press

13.
conditional
cooperation is
more
effective than
threats, shaming,
shunning, back-
biting and the like
F is for Friend copyright 2010 Reason Press

14.
Tit for Tat is never
repeatedly
victimized &
never gets locked
into mutually costly
chains of mutual
betrayal

15.
Difficult People
D is for Drama Queen copyright 2010 Reason Press

16.
They are not irrational;
they have hidden
constraints
– Institutional
– Precedential
– Promises to others
– Deadlines
P is for Paranoid copyright 2010 Reason Press

17.
They’re not evil; they
have hidden interests
– Personal (unrelated
to you or deal)
– Relational (related to
you but not to the
deal, i.e., “face”)
– Political, social,
cultural
O Is for Outlaw copyright 2010 Reason Press

18.
• They’re not difficult, they are
uninformed
– Educate them about their
true interests,
consequences of their
actions
– Help them understand
what is in their best
interest
– May have misunderstood
or ignored a crucial piece
of information
I is for Idiot copyright 2010 Reason Press

19.
Be a
conflict hero
H is for Hero copyright 2010 Reason Press

20.
Form Circles of Four

21.
• Listen respectfully
• Focus on
understanding the
problem
• Separate the
problem from the
people
• No emotional
bullying
• Hopeful to find
solutions

22.
• What problems are
important enough to
address
• What problems do not
need resolving
• Address each problem
separately
• Encourage each member
to explain why a
suggested solution serves
their interests and the
group’s interests at the
same time
• Address all fairness issues

23.
Tell the Story• What happened
• Each member of each
circle tells their own part
of the conflict story
• Actively listen
• Keep an open-mind,
• Ask if anything has been
missed
• Identify
miscommunications or
incorrect assumptions
• One member shares
table’s story with the
rest of the group

24.
• What, if anything, did you
contribute to the conflict?
• What, if anything, did you
do to fix the problem?
• Did this conflict have any
negative effects on your
work life?
• Did this conflict have any
positive effects on your
work life?
• What would work be like if
this problem were solved?
Tell Your Part In it