Hamlet is the prince of Denmark whose father, the king, has recently died. His uncle Claudius seized the throne and married Hamlet's mother, while also having murdered Hamlet's father. Hamlet's girlfriend dumps him at her father's command. His father's ghost appears and tells Hamlet that Claudius was the murderer and commands Hamlet to avenge him. Hamlet acts mad to investigate Claudius's guilt as no one else knows of the murder. Meanwhile, Claudius grows suspicious of Hamlet and tries to have him spied on. In the end, both Hamlet and Claudius die after poisoning each other in their quest for revenge and the throne.

1. You’re Hamlet

2. FOR NOW
You're smart.
You're handsome & athletic.
You're prince of Denmark.
Pretty girlfriend, loving parents
-- you had it all.

3. But, now it’s gone
Your father, the king, dies.
Your uncle Claudius seizes throne over
your more legitimate claim.
Claudius marries Queen Gertrude, your
mother -- whom you love
immoderately.

4. Your girlfriend
dumps you. (At
her father's
command.)

5. Your father's ghost appears. Tells you
his brother Claudius murdered him.
Tells you to avenge it. That's your
Task.
No one else knows it was murder.
Claudius's reign smooth & secure.

6. You suffer anguish. You act mad. Joy
departs your life.
Claudius summons old buddies of
yours to spy on you. You're not fooled.
Claudius uses your ex-girlfriend to spy
on you. You're not fooled.

7. You put on a play.
It reveals Claudius's guilt (you were
doubting the ghost).
But it also reveals you to Claudius
(he thought no one knew).
King now knows, you’re not fooled

8. You have it out with Mom in an
emotional bedroom scene.
You hear noise behind tapestry.
Thinking it's Claudius, you stab
Polonius.

9. Oops.
Claudius sends you to England (to be
killed). You come back safely.
Claudius arranges rigged sword fight.
You're fooled.
Stabbed by poison tip, you stagger on
unaware.

10. Your mother drinks poisoned wine
Claudius meant for you.
She dies.
You wise up about poison.

11. You stab Claudius.
Pour poison down his throat,
just to be sure.

12. He You
dies. die.

13. So Whatta we got
here?
Two guys living on knife edge
-- stalking each other.

14. Hamlet
Hot-headed young guy wants
back his girlfriend, mom, &
kingdom.
And revenge for his father.

15. Claudius
Powerful dude hanging on to queen
& kingdom he killed brother for.
But here comes this pup home
from school, feeling all grown up.
And not buying company line.

16. Living a Lie
Courtiers don't know about murder, but
they know Claudius's succession to the
throne is not right.
Yet, they accept it.
They talk amongst themselves, but eye
Hamlet & Claudius fearfully.

17. Hamlet’s mom, Gertrude
On some blissed-out
honeymoon trip of her own.
Trying to help Claudius against
Hamlet, without seeming to
notice.

18. Polonius-Ophelia-Laertes:
Family unit
Muddying
Mirroring main action.

19. All expressed in most beautiful
language ever.