1. 3/31/12 Top 5 things that drive women crazy Match.com
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Top 5 things that drive women crazy
By Laura Schaefer
Sha e:
How many times have you heard a woman say, “Can t live with em, can t live without em!”
when it comes to men? Ten? Twenty? A thousand times? No matter how much women love
men (and vice versa, of course), they drive them crazy sometimes! Here are the top five
things that make gals bonkers when it comes to guys.
1. Trying to fix things instead of listening. The terrific show Modern Family
Check It Out! addressed this common point of contention between the sexes when Phil Dunphy went to
the spa and his wife Claire called him with a problem. He tried to fix it, but fortunately, the
Get 72 hours free to contact spa ladies set him straight. All she really needed (and wanted) was a sympathetic ear and
Match.com members
Find love in 6 months or get 6
some recognition for all the things that she did for her family.
months free
There are no shortcuts when it comes to being a good listener — and women can tell the
difference if a man is faking it. If you re a man who wants to be a better listener, try
maintaining eye contact, reframing what she s said to make sure you understand it, and uttering affirming statements, such
as: “That must ve been really hard,” “It sounds like you handled it very well,” or asking, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Browse Local Singles at Match.com
I am a: Man Seeking a: Woman Near: ZIP code
What should you do if your partner is a perennial “fixer” instead of simply listening to you? Chances are, you ve already
tried to explain why his fixation on fixing things doesn t work for you. The next step might be to remind yourself that, despite
this annoying habit, your man isn t all bad. When it comes to dealing with his shortcomings, “the key is to focus on what
you like about the person, not what you don t like,” counsels Marc Muchnick, Ph.D., author of No More Regrets! 30 Ways
to Greater Happiness and Meaning in Your Life. “What about this person is unique and special? The answers should help
minimize the [impact of] annoying behaviors.”
2. Behaving in a way that could be perceived as lazy or indecisive. “Women are made crazy by men that don t man
up, ” says Marni Battista, expert dating coach and founder of DatingWithDignity.com. “From saying they will call and not
following through to texting instead of picking up the phone to make a date, women are learning that it is less common to find
a man who embodies chivalry and good, old-fashioned alpha male energy.” Women hate it when men are lazy with
maintaining their personal appearance, forgetful about making plans, or avoid making decisions. And they particularly
dislike it when men are emotionally passive by saying things like “I m sorry you feel that way” instead of really apologizing
yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/cppp/magazine/article.html&articleid=12467&ER=sessiontimeout 1/3
2. 3/31/12 Top 5 things that drive women crazy Match.com
when it s called for during an argument. Ask yourself: Do I take the path of least resistance when it comes to dealing with
women and with my life? If the answer is “yes,” chances are good you re guilty of this one. Try a little harder to impress
her and make her feel valued, and you might be surprised at how much happier and more fulfilling your relationship
becomes.
And if you re a lady who s dealing with a lazy dude? Pick your battles wisely. You re not going to turn a hoodie-wearing
Xbox addict into James Bond overnight. By being clear about what you expect (and by asking for realistic things, like the
occasional fancy date night), you ll see some progress. If you don t, tell your man-child to take a hike.
3. Not paying attention to her feelings. Women are emotional beings. They notice things — like stand-offish body
language or the time a guy paid more attention to other women on their date — and they don t like it. Why do men
sometimes act so callously? “These [behaviors] persist because people don t work on dealing with their issues as much as
they should, and they simply leave a relationship when they re frustrated, even though the same problems often rear their
heads in the next relationship,” says Dr. Seth Meyers, a Los Angeles-based psychologist and author of Dr. Seth s Love
Prescription. In a society rich with dating options, men might think they can get away with unkind behavior; it s up to women
to tell them that they can t. “If he drives you crazy because he s inconsistent, uses language that puts down women, is
secretive about himself after months of dating, or prefers his time alone over time with you, you re probably better off
moving on,” advises Linda R. Young, Ph.D., a psychologist and relationship coach who blogs for Psychology Today.
4. Paying too much attention to technology toys. We get it; smartphones and their attendant text messages, Twitter
feeds and Facebook status updates are fascinating. But when a man spends more time looking a tiny screen instead of the
face that s right in front of him, there s a problem. “Tell your partner what effect his behavior has on you and be specific
about what you want to see [him doing] instead,” says Young. “For example: When you keep texting other people while
we re having dinner, it sends the message to me that I am not your priority when we re out together. I understand your
needing to stay in touch at work during off-hours, but I think not using the phone while we re eating dinner (barring
emergency calls) is reasonable. What do you think is reasonable? ”
5. Taking her for granted. A good relationship is not one in which the male half is spending most of his free time with his
buddies in dives, playing video games or watching sports. If this is how you d prefer to spend all your time, why even bother
having a girlfriend? Obviously, women need to give their partners space to socialize outside of their relationship, but the key
is finding a good balance. Communicate with your partner about what she feels is reasonable when it comes to deciding
how you ll both spend your time. If her expectations are completely different than yours about the amount of quality time she
requires, you may not be a good match. “Overall, for a relationship to work long-term, your partner s personality has to be
one that yours meshes smoothly with,” explains Meyers. It s the same with setting expectations.
Laura Schaefer is the author of The Teashop Girls and The Secret Ingredient, two novels for young readers. For the other
side of the story, read Top 5 things that drive men crazy.
Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.
Sha e:
About Match.com Online Dating Safet Tips Help/FAQs Match.com Guarantee
Terms of Use** Dating Articles & Advice Contact Us Mobile
Your Privacy How Online Dating Works Site Map
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![3/31/12 Top 5 things that drive women crazy Match.com
Mail
Yahoo!
Home Search Matches
Top 5 things that drive women crazy
By Laura Schaefer
Sha e:
How many times have you heard a woman say, “Can t live with em, can t live without em!”
when it comes to men? Ten? Twenty? A thousand times? No matter how much women love
men (and vice versa, of course), they drive them crazy sometimes! Here are the top five
things that make gals bonkers when it comes to guys.
1. Trying to fix things instead of listening. The terrific show Modern Family
Check It Out! addressed this common point of contention between the sexes when Phil Dunphy went to
the spa and his wife Claire called him with a problem. He tried to fix it, but fortunately, the
Get 72 hours free to contact spa ladies set him straight. All she really needed (and wanted) was a sympathetic ear and
Match.com members
Find love in 6 months or get 6
some recognition for all the things that she did for her family.
months free
There are no shortcuts when it comes to being a good listener — and women can tell the
difference if a man is faking it. If you re a man who wants to be a better listener, try
maintaining eye contact, reframing what she s said to make sure you understand it, and uttering affirming statements, such
as: “That must ve been really hard,” “It sounds like you handled it very well,” or asking, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Browse Local Singles at Match.com
I am a: Man Seeking a: Woman Near: ZIP code
What should you do if your partner is a perennial “fixer” instead of simply listening to you? Chances are, you ve already
tried to explain why his fixation on fixing things doesn t work for you. The next step might be to remind yourself that, despite
this annoying habit, your man isn t all bad. When it comes to dealing with his shortcomings, “the key is to focus on what
you like about the person, not what you don t like,” counsels Marc Muchnick, Ph.D., author of No More Regrets! 30 Ways
to Greater Happiness and Meaning in Your Life. “What about this person is unique and special? The answers should help
minimize the [impact of] annoying behaviors.”
2. Behaving in a way that could be perceived as lazy or indecisive. “Women are made crazy by men that don t man
up, ” says Marni Battista, expert dating coach and founder of DatingWithDignity.com. “From saying they will call and not
following through to texting instead of picking up the phone to make a date, women are learning that it is less common to find
a man who embodies chivalry and good, old-fashioned alpha male energy.” Women hate it when men are lazy with
maintaining their personal appearance, forgetful about making plans, or avoid making decisions. And they particularly
dislike it when men are emotionally passive by saying things like “I m sorry you feel that way” instead of really apologizing
yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/cppp/magazine/article.html&articleid=12467&ER=sessiontimeout 1/3](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/top5thingsthatdrivewomencrazy-120331215040-phpapp01/85/Top-5-things-that-drive-women-crazy-1-320.jpg)
![3/31/12 Top 5 things that drive women crazy Match.com
when it s called for during an argument. Ask yourself: Do I take the path of least resistance when it comes to dealing with
women and with my life? If the answer is “yes,” chances are good you re guilty of this one. Try a little harder to impress
her and make her feel valued, and you might be surprised at how much happier and more fulfilling your relationship
becomes.
And if you re a lady who s dealing with a lazy dude? Pick your battles wisely. You re not going to turn a hoodie-wearing
Xbox addict into James Bond overnight. By being clear about what you expect (and by asking for realistic things, like the
occasional fancy date night), you ll see some progress. If you don t, tell your man-child to take a hike.
3. Not paying attention to her feelings. Women are emotional beings. They notice things — like stand-offish body
language or the time a guy paid more attention to other women on their date — and they don t like it. Why do men
sometimes act so callously? “These [behaviors] persist because people don t work on dealing with their issues as much as
they should, and they simply leave a relationship when they re frustrated, even though the same problems often rear their
heads in the next relationship,” says Dr. Seth Meyers, a Los Angeles-based psychologist and author of Dr. Seth s Love
Prescription. In a society rich with dating options, men might think they can get away with unkind behavior; it s up to women
to tell them that they can t. “If he drives you crazy because he s inconsistent, uses language that puts down women, is
secretive about himself after months of dating, or prefers his time alone over time with you, you re probably better off
moving on,” advises Linda R. Young, Ph.D., a psychologist and relationship coach who blogs for Psychology Today.
4. Paying too much attention to technology toys. We get it; smartphones and their attendant text messages, Twitter
feeds and Facebook status updates are fascinating. But when a man spends more time looking a tiny screen instead of the
face that s right in front of him, there s a problem. “Tell your partner what effect his behavior has on you and be specific
about what you want to see [him doing] instead,” says Young. “For example: When you keep texting other people while
we re having dinner, it sends the message to me that I am not your priority when we re out together. I understand your
needing to stay in touch at work during off-hours, but I think not using the phone while we re eating dinner (barring
emergency calls) is reasonable. What do you think is reasonable? ”
5. Taking her for granted. A good relationship is not one in which the male half is spending most of his free time with his
buddies in dives, playing video games or watching sports. If this is how you d prefer to spend all your time, why even bother
having a girlfriend? Obviously, women need to give their partners space to socialize outside of their relationship, but the key
is finding a good balance. Communicate with your partner about what she feels is reasonable when it comes to deciding
how you ll both spend your time. If her expectations are completely different than yours about the amount of quality time she
requires, you may not be a good match. “Overall, for a relationship to work long-term, your partner s personality has to be
one that yours meshes smoothly with,” explains Meyers. It s the same with setting expectations.
Laura Schaefer is the author of The Teashop Girls and The Secret Ingredient, two novels for young readers. For the other
side of the story, read Top 5 things that drive men crazy.
Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.
Sha e:
About Match.com Online Dating Safet Tips Help/FAQs Match.com Guarantee
Terms of Use** Dating Articles & Advice Contact Us Mobile
Your Privacy How Online Dating Works Site Map
Gift Subscriptions
Media Room Success Stories Match International
yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/cppp/magazine/article.html&articleid=12467&ER=sessiontimeout 2/3](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)