Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com PRESENTATION
HORRORS: DON’T DO THESE THINGS

NEW BOLD COLOR!Hi. I’m Ian
Lurie. CEO of an overflowing-with-awesome internet marketing agency called Portent. @portentint

NEW BOLD COLOR! This presentation
is every bad thing I’ve ever done when creating a presentation. Read, learn, and avoid my embarrassing moments. @portentint

NEW BOLD COLOR!It’s actually TWO
presentations: First, the bad presentation. Then the same presentation, annotated. @portentint

CATCHY TITLEWITH SQUARED FONTS Ian
Lurie @portentint www.portent.com WHICH IS WONDERFUL, BUT NOW YOU NEED A SUBTITLE SIMPLY TO EXPLAIN THE TITLE

SELF-PROMOTION
@portentint

SELF-PROMOTION
@portentint

SELF-PROMOTION
@portentint

SELF-PROMOTION
@portentint

WITTY ANECDOTE!
@portentint

NEW BOLD COLOR!
@portentint

SUMMARY OF WHAT YOU’LL HEAR
@portentint

LIST
@portentint

OF
@portentint

POINTS
@portentint

BUT NO BULLETS
@portentint

• Now I’m going to
use bullets • So I can string stuff together • And because I got really tired • And because I didn’t rehearse, so I’m going to read this to you @portentint

• OK but now •
I’m using bullets because • I know people will • want to read this later and remember • what I talked about @portentint

COLORS USED
RANDOMLY
@portentint

COLORS USED
RANDOMLY

COLORS USED
RANDOMLY
@portentint

F-BOMB!!!! SWEARING! AUDIENCE LAUGHS, SO
I’LL DO IT MORE!!! @portentint

OOOOH, AAAH, ANIMATED TEXT @portentint

SELF-PROMOTION
@portentint

ACCIDENTAL
@portentint

ANIMATION
@portentint

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint

Look! Drop shadows!!!
@portentint

JOKE ABOUT HOW IT’S JUST
BEFORE/AFTER LUNCH/COFFEE/A BIG PARTY LAST NIGHT @portentint

OBLIGTORY TYPO
@portentint

HEY, LET’S GET POLITICAL!!!!! @portentint

LAST YEAR’S SLIDE
@portentint

ANOTHER LAYOUT AT RANDOM @portentint

STOCK PHOTO TO
‘HUMANIZE’ PRESENTATION

BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS

BETCHA CAN’T READ THISI PAID
GOOD MONEY FOR THIS IMAGE SO I’M GOING TO USE IT DAMMIT. @portentint

I FORGOT YOU USE 4:
@portentint

0 10 20
30 40 50 60 1 2 3 4 5 Foobly stuff Foobly stuff

SELF-PROMOTION
@portentint

OHGODI’MOUTOFTIME SOIWILLRUSHTHROUGH THELASTPARTSSOFAST YOULEARNNOTHING @portentint

TANGENT RANT THING
@portentint

@portentint

LOW-CONTRAST. IT’S ARTISTIC AND STUFF.
@portentint

DIFFERENT FONTS BECAUSE IT’S ARTISTIC
TOO @portentint

WTF??! THIS ISN’T KNOCKOUT BOLD!!!
@portentint

LOOK! I GOT ALL DESIGNY
AND STUFF.

Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com logo
here phone address first-born male child’s name CONTACT ME! PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE

@portentint Let’s analyze this
presentation, shall we?

CATCHY TITLEWITH SQUARED FONTS I’m
guilty of this. Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com WHICH IS WONDERFUL, BUT NOW YOU NEED A SUBTITLE SIMPLY TO EXPLAIN THE TITLE

SELF-PROMOTION OK, no problem @portentint

SELF-PROMOTION OK, no problem @portentint

SELF-PROMOTION
Wait…
@portentint

SELF-PROMOTION K now it’s becoming
a problem. 5 minutes of self- promotion in a 30-minute presentation? Not OK. @portentint

WITTY ANECDOTE! Please, make it
relevant And not offensive I once cracked a joke making fun of economists and their fashion choices. At an economics conference. Guess what? They didn’t laugh. I felt like an idiot for the rest of my talk. Oh, see that? That was an anecdote. @portentint

NEW BOLD COLOR! GAAAH My
eyes!!!! Try a natural color palette for starters

SUMMARY OF WHAT YOU’LL HEAR
I actually don’t suggest a summary Try going naturally from one point to the next, instead @portentint

LIST
@portentint

OF You’re avoiding bullets. That’s
great!!!! But there is a place for bullets in presentations @portentint

POINTS Bullets are meant for
lists If you have a real list @portentint

BUT NO BULLETS So use
bullets for lists @portentint

Oy. This is bloody awful.
Don’t use bullets as punctuation, or to string thoughts together • Now I’m going to use bullets • So I can string stuff together • And because I got really tired • And because I didn’t rehearse, so I’m going to read this to you @portentint

Still no. Consider doing a
separate annotated version (like what you’re reading now) instead. • OK but now • I’m using bullets because • I know people will • want to read this later and remember • what I talked about @portentint

COLORS USED
RANDOMLY
@portentint

COLORS USED
RANDOMLY
@portentint

COLORS USED RANDOMLY Why? Use
colors to delineate sections or different ideas @portentint

F-BOMB!!!! SWEARING! AUDIENCE LAUGHS, SO
I’LL DO IT MORE!!! Not recommended,unless you can really pull it off and have the right audience. The audience often laughs because they’re uncomfortable with you swearing like a sailor.

OOOOH, AAAH, ANIMATED TEXT Please,
no. Ask: Does it serve a communications purpose? No? Forget it.

SELF-PROMOTION
…
@portentint

ACCIDENTAL @portentint Whereever possible,
keep text in the same position…

ANIMATION @portentint …from slide
to slide. Don’t disrupt chain of thought.

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE Don’t ‘plow through’ material.
Mix it up! Tell stories that support your point. Reinforce stuff. @portentint

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint I have
a habit of putting the cool stuff at the start and end, and then filling the middle with endless stuff. Don’t do that. Otherwise it goes on…

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint
…and on…

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint
…and on.

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint Your stretched,
blurred screen capture is not helpful. Be sure to get the original right.

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint Point out
one thing per slide, not 5.

DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint Use drop
shadows when they help, not because you can.

Look! Drop shadows!!! @portentint
Here, the drop shadow blurs the text. Ew.

JOKE ABOUT HOW IT’S JUST
BEFORE/AFTER LUNCH/COFFEE/A BIG PARTY LAST NIGHT Yeah, none of us have EVER heard that one before. Avoid it if you can. Again, I’m guilty of this one far too often.

OBLIGTORY TYPO Can’t avoid ‘em
all. But at least proofread.

HEY, LET’S GET POLITICAL!!!!! BE
CAREFUL. Especially in the US. I’m a lefty pinko liberal I only make political jokes after that disclaimer. And I poke fun at everyone.

LAST YEAR’S SLIDE Don’t do
100% exact repetition. Always bring something new to a repeat presentation. @portentint

ANOTHER LAYOUT Use alternate layouts
to delineate or emphasize ideas. Not to ‘make it interesting.’ AT RANDOM You make it interesting. Not your slides. @portentint

STOCK PHOTO TO ‘HUMANIZE’ PRESENTATION
Were all these people grown in vats? Your audience will not connect with this image unless they’re clones. Don’t use stock images unless they’re truly relevant and approachable.

BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS You’ve
already blinded your audience with the optic yellow background. Keep some contrast w/ a transparent fill, or something. Anything.

BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS Images
must serve a purpose: Elicit an emotional response, or illustrate a specific idea. Don’t use them just because. I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS IMAGE SO I’M GOING TO USE IT DAMMIT.

I FORGOT YOU USE 4:
Check your slide dimensions against your A/V setup. Otherwise, hilarity may ensue. @portentint

I have no words. Just
go read this presentation, instead. 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 1 2 3 4 5 Foobly stuff Foobly stuff

SELF-PROMOTION
…
@portentint

OHGODI’MOUTOFTIMES OIWILLRUSHTHROUGHT HELASTPARTSSOFASTY OULEARNNOTHING For
Heaven’s sake: Rehearse. Get your timing right. @portentint

TANGENT RANT THING Sometimes, this
is OK. I don’t suggest riffing on health care at a marketing conference, though. @portentint

Seriously?
@portentint

LOW-CONTRAST. IT’S ARTISTIC AND STUFF.
This might be invisible on a projector. @portentint

DIFFERENT FONTS BECAUSE IT’S ARTISTIC
TOO Don’t make your slide look like a ransom note. Unless that’s what you want. @portentint

WTF??! THIS ISN’T KNOCKOUT BOLD!!!
You used a special font, didn’t you? Now you get to read your presentation in poorly formatted Times. Bring copies of your fonts, or use a ‘safe’ font. A nice list here.

LOOK! I GOT ALL DESIGNY
AND STUFF. If you know how to do a good gradient, cool! Go for it. But it’s important to recognize your design limitations and stay within them. If you want, I’ll show you my presentation stick figures sometime…

Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com logo
here phone address first-born male child’s name CONTACT ME! PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE When you list 12 different ways for folks to contact you, it just confuses them, and maybe sounds a little desperate…? Keep it simple: E-mail, Twitter, maybe website.

NEW BOLD COLOR! Here’s my
point: Your presentation has a purpose. Everything you put in it should work towards that purpose. So be clear. Only use what you need. And create for your audience, not for you. @portentint

Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com HAVE
I COMMITTED OTHER PRESENTATION HORRORS? YES. PAY ME, AND I MIGHT TELL YOU. I ACCEPT PAYMENTS IN CHOCOLATE AND CASH. Oh, also: Don’t try to extort your audience.

Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com OTHER
PRESENTATIONS I’VE DONE (PRETTY MUCH HORROR-FREE)