14. Good Luck … " A good beginning makes a good ending." - English Proverb “ Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” - Clarence Thomas (1948 - )
Editor's Notes
Business Etiquette is not something a you can ignore in the work field today. It is a must! If an Etiquette course in not in your college coursework, buy a book on the topic and keep for a reference.
Presenting yourself in the best light possible is key to business etiquette. This involves practicing good manners, being courteous and respectful of others. Treat others the way you would want to be treated. If you practice the above then you will be comfortable around others and they will be comfortable around you. Business etiquette is the same for both genders. There is not one rule for women and one for men.
Being on time is extremely important and is a courtesy to others. Time is money. This also applies to any reports or tasks that are due. Budget extra time for travel or getting work done. It usually always takes us longer to complete a task than we expect, so add approximately 25 to 30% more to whatever time you think you will need. Constantly making excuses for being late to meetings or with reports will not help you get ahead. Keeping confidential information confidential is an essential principle of business etiquette. Anything you overhear should not be repeated. Whatever someone tells you, keep it with you. Find out what the dress code is where you are going for an interview, or a company that your are going to intern or accept a job with. You only have one chance to make a first impression. John Molloy’s book on New Dress for Success is a recommended read or other such book. Many people today do not know what proper attire is and do not know what professional dress is. Research. Communication involves both written and oral skills. All correspondence should be well written; all names should be spelled correctly. Do not use slang or foul language. Have someone to check your memos, reports, etc. for grammar errors, spelling and sentence structure. In one of my intern prep classes, every day our motto was “Attitude is everything”. Elsie de Wolfe, the first interior designer/decorator, had a saying that I use a lot. It is “Never complain, never explain”. No matter what the task is or how impossible it seems, if you maintain a positive attitude, that is 90% of the battle. No one likes to be around people who are constantly complaining or whining. This energy could be spent in getting work done. Be sensitive to the needs of others and not just interested in your own career path. When you extend empathy to all those who you work with or interact in school, and try to understand where others are coming from, then you are on your way to success. Be open to constructive criticism; avoid defensiveness; show an openness to the ideals and suggestions of others. You can be humble and self assured at the same time. Motivation speaker Sid Ziglar said, “If you help enough people to get to where they need to, you will get to where you need to be”. Whether in school serving on a committee, working on a group project, a ASID officer or in an internship or job setting, do your best work. Be committed to what you are doing in the now. Stay out of the past and the future.
Planning saves time and money. Have your office or work space organized. Avoid clutter in your work environment as this space is a reflection of you. One efficiency expert says that one should take everything off the desk except what is the current task. Respect the flow of authority and go through the proper channels. If you have a problem with a co-worker or a supervisor, talk to that person to try to resolve the problem. Study the organization of your company and who does what. Then you will know how the whole organization works and you will also have a clearer picture of your position. Efficiency involves knowing the work basics and standards of your work or school. It is important to be efficient in work habits; strive for excellence not perfection. If you are efficient, you are able to judge the relative value of tasks when measured in the standards of time, energy, etc. Integrity relates to honesty and character. If you are a person of integrity, you will work just as hard when the supervisor is not with you as when he is present. Give your complete attention to your job or school task. Forget daydreaming on the job. Do not make personal phone calls on work time. There are many who think that anything they use in the office to work with is theirs. Do not take office supplies for personal use. Do the right thing. Taking responsibility for actions is a key ingredient that employers are looking for. When you say you will do something, do it. Dependability goes hand in hand with being responsible.
A person has to practice at being a good conversalist and developing listening skills. Focus on the other person(s) rather than on oneself. Conservation should be a matter of equal give and take; too frequently it is all take.
The worst mistake of all is to make no introduction; never use terms such as “Mr. Jones, shake hands with Mr. Brown” or “Mr. Smith, meet my cousin Sam”. Proper examples are 1. “Mrs. Smith, I’d like you to meet Mr. Brown” or “Dr. Avery, may I introduce you to my professor, Mrs. Robinson”; 2. “Professor Avery, I’d like you to meet my niece, Marcia Brown”; 3. “Bishop Barney, may I present Miss Patton”. Using only first names is often confusing and may even seem as if the introducer did not know the person’s last name. Take the time to know the person you introduce.
(No one wants a limp handshake or a paralyzing grip A handshake can create a feeling of immediate friendliness or of instant irritation between strangers. The handshake is powerful and can set the stage for future interactions.) Appropriate greeting behavior involves eye contact. You should provide each person you meet with two or three seconds of unobserved eye contact directly after the handshake.
Some think that because they cannot be seen that they are anonymous. This can make some people rude and reckless. Emoticons include such symbols as “smiles” which are constructed with a colon, a dash and a parenthesis and look like this . When the “mouth” frowns, with the parenthesis facing the other way, it indicates that the sender is upset or in disagreement with the sender.
Most people use cell phones, as a time saver but driving and trying to talk may be dangerous. Also, there often times when the background noise interferes with conversation
It is not necessary to shout on the phone; talk in normal tone and voice. If you are not in your office, have the answering system tell the caller when you will be back and when they can expect a call back. With very busy people, set up a phone date and stick to it. If you are making a call, ask the person you are calling if it is a convenient time.
Another term for nonverbal communication is body language. This is very important. Accurate reading of body language is necessary because there is no second chance. Evaluation is important in order to separate information from expression and to identify the total message. Also, controlling nonverbal communication is essential because communication is an active process, whether people are listening or speaking. When one crosses one’s arms closely over the chest, that person is signaling, skepticism, suspicion or secretiveness. It also indicates a closed mind and defensiveness Gestures of stress involve: crossed arms with fists, hands in fists at sides, slouching, sighing frequently, wringing one’s hands, jiggling coins. What are some stress signs that you notice in others? Avoid these and other stress signals when in the presence of others. Signs of nervousness are fidgeting, tapping a pencil or other object on desk/table, doodling. Name some signs that you notice. Examples of gestures of superiority include: placing the hands above the shoulders, putting the hands over the head, placing hands on the hips, and placing fists on the hips. Leaders often used the hands behind the back position. When a professor tells a class how poorly they have done on a mid-term exam, what are this gestures. Chances are he will have his hands clasped behind him as he shifts back and forth from the heels to the balls of his feet.
Find out what is the dress code of the company you are interviewing for; it is okay to call the secretary and ask. Find out what are your best colors, styles for your body type and stick to these. Look at news anchors; their dress calls attention to them, not their outfits. On an interview do not wear dangling or flashy jewelry. Nothing should be worn that will take away from you. Every part of your outfit should make a whole from the shoes, pocketbook to the hairdo. Dress for the job you are applying for. The best business attire begins with a plan. Go through your closet, keep what will work and add new items to complete your business wardrobe. You will be judged by how you look next by how you speak and third by the office you work in. Image is composed of our appearance, speech, demeanor, and even our people skills. Some parts of our image we are born with such as our height, color of hair and eyes. Other parts of our image are under our control such as weight, fitness, wearing the right clothes, and our hairstyle, nails and make-up. The business of image consulting first appeared in the 80’s as corporations began to look for the right match for employees. Most of us do not know what image we project. Have a friend video tape you communicating or giving a talk, then review it and and try to look at it from the perspective of others.
Business meals provide an opportunity to interact socially while doing business. Whether you do breakfast, lunch or dinner, depends on which one of these meals bests fits the purpose of the business meal. The traditional business meal is lunch. The term “let’s do lunch” in inappropriate. The first consideration is with whom is it productive and appropriate for you to have a business meal with. The “who” is important, especially if you set up the meeting; and it is also appropriate for you to pick up the tab. Where the meal meeting is going to be held should be determined by your business needs. The restaurant should reflect the business level of the person you are meeting. You may ask your guest where he would like to meet; have a list of three places from which to choose. Invite your guest early, not at the last minute. A business dinner may last anywhere from 2-4 hours. One hour is not sufficient for a meeting so be prepared to allocate two hours in order to get anything accomplished. Tell your guest the nature of the business that you want to discus so he/she can bring appropriate materials. Reserve a table ahead of time; if you fail to reserve a table, the meeting will get off to a late start. Reconfirm with your guest. Call the day before to reconfirm. In your meeting stick to business. It is easy to get distracted in a pleasant environment. Table manners can be easily scrutinized so brush up on your etiquette. And remember that your first priority is business and eating is secondary. Choose familiar foods that are easy to eat. So not salt your food before you taste it. Put your napkin in your lap shortly after you are seated. If you leave your seat, place your napkin in a loose fold with the soiled side down to the left of your plate. Bread is often the first food placed on the table and it often must be passed around. Always keep your bread and butter on the bread and butter plate and use the butter knife. A sampling of some difficult foods to eat are: French onion soup, fish, lobster, spaghetti, linguine, and fettuccine. When you are finished with your meal, lay the knife and fork side by side in the center to the center right of the plate. This tells your waiter that you are finished. Finger or Fork: some foods are meant to be eaten with the fingers and others are meant to be eaten with a fork. At more formal restaurants, a service plate (a large plate on which another plate will be placed) and a bread plate which is just above the forks and slightly to the left will be on the table first. The water glass is placed just above the knife. If you do not know which utensil to use, remember this rule of working from the outside in. Starting at the outside and working in, you will find these utensils: salad fork to the left of the dinner fork, dinner fork, soup spoon/fruit spoon (if soup or fruit is served as a first course, this spoon is on the outside of the right side of the plate; dinner knife (large knife used for the entrée and is placed just to the right of the platter; butter knife (small knife placed across the edge of the bread plate); dessert fork or spoon (can be presented above the dinner plate at the beginning of the meal or it might be brought to you by the waiter). If coffee is served with the meal, the cup and saucer do to the right of the setting, with the spoon on the right side of the saucer.
Business meals provide an opportunity to interact socially while doing business. Whether you do breakfast, lunch or dinner, depends on which one of these meals bests fits the purpose of the business meal. The traditional business meal is lunch. The term “let’s do lunch” in inappropriate. The first consideration is with whom is it productive and appropriate for you to have a business meal with. The “who” is important, especially if you set up the meeting; and it is also appropriate for you to pick up the tab. Where the meal meeting is going to be held should be determined by your business needs. The restaurant should reflect the business level of the person you are meeting. You may ask your guest where he would like to meet; have a list of three places from which to choose. Invite your guest early, not at the last minute. A business dinner may last anywhere from 2-4 hours. One hour is not sufficient for a meeting so be prepared to allocate two hours in order to get anything accomplished. Tell your guest the nature of the business that you want to discus so he/she can bring appropriate materials. Reserve a table ahead of time; if you fail to reserve a table, the meeting will get off to a late start. Reconfirm with your guest. Call the day before to reconfirm. In your meeting stick to business. It is easy to get distracted in a pleasant environment. Table manners can be easily scrutinized so brush up on your etiquette. And remember that your first priority is business and eating is secondary. Choose familiar foods that are easy to eat. So not salt your food before you taste it. Put your napkin in your lap shortly after you are seated. If you leave your seat, place your napkin in a loose fold with the soiled side down to the left of your plate. Bread is often the first food placed on the table and it often must be passed around. Always keep your bread and butter on the bread and butter plate and use the butter knife. A sampling of some difficult foods to eat are: French onion soup, fish, lobster, spaghetti, linguine, and fettuccine. When you are finished with your meal, lay the knife and fork side by side in the center to the center right of the plate. This tells your waiter that you are finished. Finger or Fork: some foods are meant to be eaten with the fingers and others are meant to be eaten with a fork. At more formal restaurants, a service plate (a large plate on which another plate will be placed) and a bread plate which is just above the forks and slightly to the left will be on the table first. The water glass is placed just above the knife. If you do not know which utensil to use, remember this rule of working from the outside in. Starting at the outside and working in, you will find these utensils: salad fork to the left of the dinner fork, dinner fork, soup spoon/fruit spoon (if soup or fruit is served as a first course, this spoon is on the outside of the right side of the plate; dinner knife (large knife used for the entrée and is placed just to the right of the platter; butter knife (small knife placed across the edge of the bread plate); dessert fork or spoon (can be presented above the dinner plate at the beginning of the meal or it might be brought to you by the waiter). If coffee is served with the meal, the cup and saucer do to the right of the setting, with the spoon on the right side of the saucer.
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