Negotiating for women can be a scary thought. Here is some thoughts to guide you through the process and to help prepare you for your negotiating.

2. Everyday you negotiate!
0 Even if you don’t think about it that way – you still
negotiate throughout your day
0 No one is born a skilled negotiator – it takes practice
0 Remember:
0Everything is negotiable
0 Female vs Male negotiation styles do differ
0 There are resources to help you learn to negotiate
confidently
0 You can overcome the common mistakes made in
negotiating

3. Why don’t we negotiate?
0 We don’t want to offend
0 We want/need to be friends with everyone
0 It upsets the balance
0 Hard to separate personal vs business
0 We don’t want to disagree
0 Concerned what others think
0 Question our own value; Am I worth it?

4. Everything is negotiable
0 Almost everything is life is negotiable if you see it
that way
0 Opportunities to negotiate exist in almost every
interaction
0 You’re probably better at it than you think!

5. Female vs Male Negotiation Styles
0 Do any of these sound familiar?
0 Not asking for what you want for fear of damaging a
relationship
0 Being hesitant about saying no because you’d like to
keep everyone happy
0 Having much greater success at negotiating for
someone else than your self
0 Getting flustered and emotional if a negotiation gets
heated
0 Thinking the louder, tougher or smarter you are the
better your chance at negotiation success

6. Men & Women have different
negotiation styles
0 Women value relationships over outcome
0 Men leverage relationships to achieve goals
0 Women make decisions based on what they feel they
need rather than what they are worth
0 Men are more likely to ask for what they want
0 Women are more likely to wait to be recognised
0 Men talk for longer and interrupt more often!
0 Men use more direct language
0 Men tend to display more confidence than
women in performance oriented settings
0 Women tend to set more modest goals

7. Handy female instincts
0 Negotiation is about relationships….and girls are
good at relationships!
0 Perception is a stronger natural instinct in females
than males
0Picking up non-verbal signals (body language)
0For the first 2 years or so females need to communicate
with children who cannot use language
0 Negotiation is ultimately an exercise in two-way
communication
0 Needs exist on both sides of the table
0 Perspectives, ideas and feelings differ
0 Shared understanding = mutual solutions

8. When is it worth it?
0 While everything might be negotiable, you don’t want
to negotiate about everything
0 The key….. YOU decide what’s worth negotiating
0 Identify & clarify your personal & professional goals
0 If you’re heart’s not in it, you’re less likely to be
successful

9. Dissection of a negotiation
0 Negotiation is based on how important something is
to two parties: yourself and the other negotiator
0 Research is a critical yet hidden component
0 Two-way communication process
0Demands & concessions (give and take)
0 Precedents: what went before
0 Experience: how often you’ve done this
0 Personality traits and confidence
0 Other parties: mediators, third-parties
0 Outcomes: immediate and/or ongoing

10. Tips for stronger negotiation

11. 10 steps before the conversation
STEP WHAT
CONTENT
Step 1 Ascertain the scope of the exchange
Step 2 Determine the negotiation objectives
Step 3 Examine suppositions of both parties
Step 4 Collect relevant data
Step 5 Identify issues, sticking points and trade-offs
Step 6 Calculate preliminary bargaining position & ground rules
PROCESS
Step 7 Reveal other side’s needs & examine your own
Step 8 Produce your overall bargaining strategy
Step 9 Determine possible negotiating options: BATNA (see next)
Step 10 Enter into negotiations

12. What is BATNA?
0 Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement
0Draft in advance
0 Think like the other party – what’s most important to them,
where are they most likely to compromise
0 Equally – what’s more important to you, where would you
be willing to compromise to give the other party a ‘win’

13. Before the conversation
60% of the negotiation occurs
before the conversation starts!
The best
negotiators do
their pre-work
meticulously

14. Preparation builds confidence
0 Identify what it is you actually want
0 Prepare your arguments in advance based on
objective research
0 Bring your notes in with you or send an agenda
outlining your key points in advance
0 In a business setting, try to tie your desired outcomes
with the objectives of the team or company
0Not “ you say as a company that you respect work/life
balance so give me a four day week”
0 What would you say instead?

15. Think collaboration –
Not confrontation
0 Mutual goals or win-win
0 Understand not just your needs but those of the other side
0 Have pre-prepared your give and take
0 What is a nice to have that you are prepared to compromise on if
needed?
0 Getting fired up and emotional can lead to an adverse
outcome
0 Challenges are predictable: anticipate how the other
person/party is likely to react and think about specific
ways to respond

16. Be Yourself!
0 Common mistakes:
0 Adopting a negotiation style that does not reflect who you
are (one you are not comfortable with)
0 People see through you if you’re trying to be something
you are not (you will look weak)
0 You can be quiet and calm but still be strong
0 You can disagree politely (no need for aggression)

17. Engaging & gaining buy-in
0 The best negotiations are exercises in two-way
conversations
0 Active listening, asking questions, reinforcing your
desire for a mutually beneficial outcome
0Making sure the other party is being heard is a sign of
respect
0 Show appreciation for differences in perspective
0 “let me clarify that I understand where you are coming
from”

18. Avoiding clichés & disclaimers
0 Don’t use jargon and clichés
0 Table thumping and aggression
rarely work and are just
embarrassing
0 “I think…”, “I feel…” are less
forceful terms than “It’s clear
that…” or “The market shows us
that….”

19. Stay focused & on target
0 Keep to the point – don’t deviate
0 Ask for more time to consider if you need to
0You usually don’t have to make a decision to accept an offer
immediately
0 One conversation might not culminate in the final decision
0 Remember - negotiation is a process

20. Seek a mentor
0 Learn from someone who displays
outstanding negotiation skills
0 Use this as an opportunity to practice
0 Role play your negotiations prior to
conducting them
0Ask your mentor for objective feedback
0 A little pep talk can do wonders for
your confidence!

21. Common mistakes
0 Not being willing to say no
0No is the most powerful word in negotiating!
0Successful negotiators know when & how to say no
0 Prepare properly, know your options, be flexible and be
realistic
0 Remember that saying no isn’t personal
0 You must be able to disagree rather than give in to
something that is contrary to your interests but you can be
flexible in how to satisfy your interests
0 Not negotiating well when it’s for yourself
0 Negotiate for yourself as if you were negotiating for
someone else (your colleagues, your kids, your family)

22. 0 Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of
Negotiation to Get What They Really Want
(Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever)
0 www.careerwomen.com
0 www.negotiations.com