1. The document provides dos and don'ts for what to say when reuniting with an old English teacher. It cautions against admitting to plagiarism, theft, or disrespect in class.
2. The document recommends expressing appreciation for the teacher's influence and encouragement, noting how their lessons and feedback helped shape an interest in writing and reading.
3. It suggests bringing up specific positive memories like thoughtful commentary on assignments or encouragement to think independently, and updating the teacher on any publishing successes.
3. 1. “That short story I wrote, I confess I
borrowed it from one of Roald Dahl’s Tales of
the Unexpected. It was just SO good!”
4. 2. “I wrote a letter to a silly soccer magazine in the
worst possible English and gave your name and address
(retrieved from the phone book). They wrote back to
you and told you that your submission could not be
included because it was not up to the required
standard. I hope you don’t mind.”
5. 3. “I stole several books. Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid
of Virginia Woolf and George Orwell’s 1984 and they
still adorn my bookshelf. I have to say, they certainly
stoked my interest in reading, so much so that I
encouraged other school friends to do likewise.”
6. 4. “I apologize for yawning while you were reading from
Henry James but your speaking voice was just SO
monotonous and the author’s style SO verbose.”
7. 6. “When I told you that I was late for your class
because I had been snowed in my home (even though it
was the middle of May) that was a lie, although I’m sure
you never guessed it.”
8. 7. “I gave another boy my homework once, hence what
you described as the ‘extraordinary coincidence’ that
both our interpretations of the poem in question were
‘monumentally mistaken’. You obviously hadn’t guessed
that was because he copied my answers verbatim.”
9. 8. “I always promised you that one day you would see
some of my work published. And so if you would kindly
care to go into the gent’s toilet of the third floor of my
local Walmart you will see a poem of mine scrawled on
the wall. Please tell me what you think of it.”
10. If you want to stay on the safe side, here’s some ideas
of what you CAN say
11. 1. “I can honestly say that you stoked an interest
in writing and reading and this accounts for
whatever success I have achieved in my career.”
12. 2. “I noticed the care and time you always spent
when marking my homework and I always re-read
your comments and tried to heed them.”
13. 3. “They say you never forget a good teacher.
Well, I have never written anything without
thinking how you would appraise it.”
14. 4. “Those idiots who messed around while you
taught. I took them aside after one particularly
rowdy class and told them you were an excellent
teacher who deserved better.”
15. 5. “I have written a letter to the school’s
headmaster telling him how valuable your classes
were.”
16. 6. “I never threw away any of my schoolwork. It
will be preserved for posterity, including your
incisive and helpful comments.”
17. 7. “You encouraged me to think for myself and
dare to be different, just like the Robin Williams
character in Dead Poets Society.”
18. 8. “I always promised you that one day you would
see some of my work published. Here is a
collection of stories I have dedicated to you.”
19. To read more, click on the link above. Good luck on your next reunion!
