The document discusses communication challenges women face in male-dominated workplaces and provides options to address them. It notes that 52% of women feel communication holds them back and that non-verbal communication and unconscious bias can negatively impact women. Specific challenges covered include being perceived as "bossy", excessive nodding, uptalk speech patterns, not taking credit for ideas, style of problem-solving, physical space usage, avoidance of public speaking, and difficulties networking. The document offers suggestions for addressing each challenge through modified communication techniques and behaviors.

1. Women and
Communication in the
Workplace
Kellyn Pot’Vin-Gorman
Consulting Member of EM
Technical Staff, Oracle
DBAKevlar.com

3. Communication
• 52% of Women stated that they felt
communication holds them back in the
workplace.
• 90% of communication is non-verbal

4. • Male Dominated
Tech Arena- It is
essential to
communicate
effectively.

5. “Men insult each other and don’t mean it, women
compliment each other and don’t mean it.”
From a young age, females learn to give
compliments; it's almost reflexive. Compliments
are a way of reaching out to one another, an offer
of affirmation and inclusion. Men are more
likely to volunteer evaluations instead of hand
out compliments.
• Risk taking in childhood.
• Approval response with adults.
• Cultural expectations.
• Unconscious bias and stereotypes.

6. How do women weaken their image
while communicating?

8. “Bossy” - Boys vs. Girls

10. Too Much Nodding
• To Women, Nodding Communicates: “I hear
you”.
• To Men, Nodding Communicates: “I agree with
you.”

11. Options to Address
• Do not assume, lessen nodding.
• If you find yourself repeating information, men
are less likely to listen once a topic is repeated,
ask for clarification instead.

12. Uptalk
• A rising reflection in the end of a sentence.
• Appears as a questions instead of a statement or
an opinion.
• Vocal pattern is less likely to be taken seriously.

13. Options to Address
• Practice bringing voice down at the end of a
sentence.
• Practice more direct speech and ask to open for
discussion than search for discussion with
speech pattern.

14. Being Assertive
• Do you think you can get me that data by
tomorrow?
• You think we are a great team, right?
• Unintentionally sends a weak message instead of
one of strength.
• Minimizes the message.

15. Options to Address
• Remove taglines before you speak, (Right?)
• Practice bolder speech ahead of time, before
speaking out loud.
• Use Statements instead of questions.

16. Allowing to be Interrupted
• Men are raised to more easily jump in and speak
in conversations. Women are more likely to wait
for a turn.
• Women are also more likely to be cut off or
interrupted.

17. Options to Address
• If interrupted, “I’m not finished.” or “Please,
wait till I’m done.”
• Do not hesitate to jump in when you should.
Don’t be scared to be wrong- it’s more
important to communicate and it gets easier
with time.
• Commit to making one contribution at every
meeting/event/discussion.

18. Losing Credit for Ideas
• There’s always one more than happy to take
credit for other’s ideas.
• It impedes other’s professional progress and is
limiting to company’s progress.

19. Option to Address
• Speak up and clearly take credit for your
contributions:
• “I just stated that a minute ago.”
• “How is that different than my proposal that I
made?”
• Take credit for all that you do.

20. Problem Solving
• Women often prefer to go over all avenues of an
issue before deciding on a resolution.
• Discussion can be viewed as an obstacle by many
men to a solution, same with making decisions.

21. Options to Address
• When discussing an issue with male colleagues,
get to the point clearly unless very specifically
stated in the agenda.
• Ensure deadlines are clear for both parties.

22. Physical Space
• Men have a tendency to be very unreserved,
more relaxed- sprawled out, stretched legs,
arms comfortably sat out at the table.
• Women in surveys were found to check their
appearance in sitting approximately 10 times per
hour. They have a tendency to sit “drawn in”-
keeping arms and legs close to the body.

23. Option to Address
• “Own your space”.
• When standing, keep feet firmly planted on
floor, arms at a comfortable distance from body.
• When sitting, spread out to own the space in
front of you and cross legs at ankles if necessary.
• Avoid clothing that constricts movement and
allows the ability to spread out more, (dress
pants over pencil skirts, etc.)

24. The Workplace Bully
• Avoid those that communicate via “win through
intimidation and isolation.”
• This type of communication, (from a
peer/manager) undercuts productivity,
creativity and harmony in any workplace.

25. Options to Address
• Document all communication, (i.e. ask for
everything in writing.)
• Always be gracious to a bully and do not take
responsibility for their behavior- remember,
this is their problem, not yours.
• If the bully is a manager, consider a new
department or a new job. Life is too short and
your energy is too valuable for this type of
person.

26. Avoidance of Public Speaking
• Public speaking can quickly dismiss any
misconceptions created by physical impressions.
• Public speaking gives the opportunity to offer
visibility and equal exposure in the technical
arena.

27. Options to Address
• Find mentors, locate smaller venues to speak at,
get out there and shine.
• Don’t let initial set-backs hold you back.
• Join local organizations like “Toastmasters” to
practice public speaking.

28. Network Building
• Due to complexities in male/female work
relationships, it can be difficult to reach out and
network for women, but it is essential to career
and communication enhancement.

30. Options to Address
• Reach out using Social Media Tools such as
Linked in, to build connect to those in industry.
• Start informal mentoring by asking 1 or 2
important questions of those you respect.
• Join online forums to offer guidance and create
a clear online professional persona for
networking.
• Clearly separate professional from personal
social media forums.

31. Goal Oriented Communication
• Remember what you goal is for the conversation
and keep on the path.
• This will often require you to keep other’s goals
included in your own. Without including their
agendas, you won’t get far with your own… 

32. Goal Oriented Communication and
Emotion
• You have a right to feelings.
• You feel things for a reason and it is a strength.
• Place the emotions aside and think about WHY
you felt the way you do in the conversation.
• What do you want to accomplish with the
conversation?
• Use these words, (without the emotion) to reach
that goal.

33. Why Small Changes Are Wins

34. Additional Tips
• Say what needs to be said- this is not a
popularity contest, but do say it in a way that
you would want it said to you.
• Always try to do the right thing over being right
in a conversation. Being gracious can be
contagious.
• Know when it’s not your problem in
communication and when to walk away.

35. Communication Challenge
Women very often compliment each other on
appearance to open conversation.
• Open conversation with compliment on a
business or technical contribution the woman
made.
• Offer to assist or network with the woman on the
project/challenge.

36. Communication Motto to Live By:
Feel with your heart, think with your
mind and say what you mean.

37. References
• McManus, Barbara F. "Gender and Modes of Communication." March 1999. (August 27, 2010)
http://www2.cnr.edu/home/bmcmanus/gendercom.html
• Booher, Diane. "Gender Negotiation Communication Style Differences: Women." (August 27, 2010)
http://www.negotiations.com/articles/gender-bender/
• Evans, Lisa. “Are We Speaking a Different Language. Men and Women’s Communication Blind Spots.”
(June 11, 2014) http://www.fastcompany.com/3031631/strong-female-lead/are-we-speaking-a-
different-language-men-and-womens-communication-blind-s
• Radicati. "Email Statistics Report, 2009-2013." May 6, 2009. (August 30, 2010)
http://www.radicati.com/?p=3237
• Rosetti, Paolo. "Gender Differences in Email Communication." The Internet TESL Journal. Vol. 4, No. 7.
July 1998. (August 30, 2010) http://iteslj.org/Articles/Rossetti-GenderDif.html
• Roter, Debra, Hall, Judith H. & Aoki, Yutaki. "Physician Gender Effects in Medical Communication." The
Journal of the American Medical Association. Vol. 288, No. 6. August 14, 2002. (August 26, 2010)
http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/288/6/756
• Tannen, Deborah. "The Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why." Harvard Business Review.
September-October 1995. (August 27, 2010)
http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/pdfs/the_power_of_talk.pdf
• Torppa, Cynthia Burggraf. "Gender Issues: Communication Differences in Interpersonal Relationships."
The Ohio State University Extension. 2010. [September 3, 2010]
• Whitworth, Damian. "Why Men and Women Argue Differently." The Times. October 30, 2007. (August
27, 2010) http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article2764731.ece
• Shavin, Naomi. Forbes, “What Work Place Bullying Looks Like”
• http://www.forbes.com/sites/naomishavin/2014/06/25/what-work-place-bullying-looks-like-in-2014-
and-how-to-intervene/