2 hour session delivered to parents and guardians of the French Immersion School of Washington. Take an in-depth look at bullying and how it affects all children, whether they are perpetrating, receiving, or standing by bullying. Learn warning signs, boy/girl and cultural differences, and guidance for handling situations at home and at school. Identify different types of bullying, how biases play into bullying, and practical tools for youth, parents, and educators in responding to conflicts and bullying.
Disha NEET Physics Guide for classes 11 and 12.pdf
French Immersion School Bullying
1. Beyond Sticks and Stones:
Understanding, Preventing, and Addressing Bullying
French Immersion School of Washington
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
12. Gender, Bias, and Bullying
• Source of Power
• Worst Labels
• Who Bullies?
• Who is Bullied?
• Social Collective
• Abuse and Aggression
• Outliers of Victims
• Signs of Cry
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
14. Relational Aggression
Relational Aggression includes acts that
“harm others through damage (or the
threat of damage) to relationships or
feelings of acceptance, friendship, or
group inclusion.”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
15. Indirect Aggression
Indirect Aggression allows the
perpetrator to avoid confronting the
target directly, making it seem as
though there is no intent to harm.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
16. Social Aggression
Social Aggression is intended
to damage self esteem or social
status within a group.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
17. It’s Too Big… Why Even Try?
• Health and Safety
• Psychological Pain
• Academic Risk
• Explosive Release
• Long-Term Scars
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
18. Process Break
How are your kids
experiencing bullying? What
are the greatest pressures
facing your kids? What have
you tried so far to talk to your
kids about bullying?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
19. So What? Now What?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
20. Definition of Conflict
• A clash between two
individuals or groups
• A disagreement or
argument about
something important
• Etc.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
21. When It’s Bullying
• Power is uneven
• Intent to harm
• Repeated and
sustained
• Efforts to hide from
adults
• Advocacy not
changing behaviors
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
22. Bullying:
Common Characteristics of Kids Who Bully
• Their friends do what they want them to do.
• They aren’t intimidated by other kids.
• Their complaints about other kids are limited to
the lame things they did or said.
• They are often charming to adults.
• They won’t (or are very reluctant to) take
responsibility when they hurt someone’s feelings.
• If they think they’ve been wronged, they feel they
have the right to seek revenge.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
23. Bullying:
Common Characteristics of Kids
Who Are Bullied
• They are more sensitive, unhappy, cautious,
anxious, quiet and withdrawn than other youth.
• They are generally insecure and non-assertive, and
react by withdrawing when targeted by other students
(rather than retaliating or asserting).
• They exhibit sudden change in behaviors: showing
signs of depression, not eating, cutting, letting
themselves go, losing interest in favorite things,
quitting teams, etc.
• They may be embarrassed to admit being bullied.
They may blame themselves or feel guilty.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
24. Advice for Parents:
DON’T
• Think “this is my fault.”
• Belittle the problem.
• Over-empathize.
• Tell them what to do.
• Become the Fix-It Parent.
• Blame the bully OR the victim.
• Tell them that being nice and kind will
always lead to friends and popularity.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
25. Shared Language, Shared Goals
Target of Bullying
Agent of Bullying
Bystander
Ally
Path of Least Resistance
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
26. What Can We Do for Girls?
• Teach the difference
between self-sacrificing and
good.
• Talk about or compliment
something besides her looks.
• Value the quality of her
relationships, not the
quantity.
• Give her access to diverse
women mentors.
• Role-Play difficult
conversations with her.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Rosetta
27. What Can We Do for Boys?
• Teach the difference
between strong and
tough.
• Talk about feelings and
relationships.
• Make it okay to be
vulnerable.
• Give him access to
diverse male mentors.
• Help him understand
societal homophobia.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Rosetta
28. What Can Parents Do for All?
•Help them develop strong interaction and social skills.
• Provide opportunity/access to kids outside of school.
• Encourage and help them to make informed choices.
•Provide sanctuary, sounding board, and support.
• Teach about all forms of diversity and inclusion.
•Give them healthy outlets for their feelings.
•Respect and nurture their true selves.
•Try Teeter-Totter Parenting.
•Be a listener, not a fixer.
•Share your stories.
•Affirm your kids.
•Model the way.
•Stay Involved.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Rosetta
29. Bullying Intervention
• Know when it is
bullying
• Stand up for
yourself
• Ask them to stop
the behavior
• Seek healthy
support
• Tell an adult
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
30. Empowering the Bystander
Many bullying programs center around
agents and targets. Why not address
the 60-70% who are bystanders?
• Keeps the focus away from blaming the
targets or agents.
• Cover backstage spaces where only kids
are allowed.
• Create a mass of empowered allies and
shift the balance of power
• Create a new path of least resistance.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
31. Ally Skills
• Don’t bully
• Speak up when someone else is being bullied
• Assume positive intentions, but don’t let that
assumption make you silent
• Ask questions to clarify and to educate
• Don’t make the person who is bullying into someone
who is getting targeted
• Actively include those who are easily left out
• If you know someone is getting bullied, tell an
adult at school or at home
• Keep the climate healthy
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
32. Teach Media Literacy
• Choose media FOR youth whenever possible.
• Engage in media WITH youth.
• Teach them your values.
• Guide how they spend their money.
• Get to know their friends and the media they engage in.
• Talk to other parents/guardians about media literacy.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
33. Teach Digital Citizenship
• No Digital Conflicts!
• The Face Test – would you say it to their face?
• The Headline Test – would you want it broadcast?
• The Digital Self – are you the same person online?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
34. Advice for Schools
The Four Ps
• Policy - A comprehensive anti-bullying policy that
enumerates sources of bias and that includes
alternative aggression.
• Programming - Training for teachers and staff on
bullying and bias. Support for teachers and staff in
acting to combat bullying and bias. Self-esteem and
conflict management programs for students.
• Practice - Consistent and meaningful follow-through in
dealing with acts of bullying and bias. Coverage of
unsupervised spaces where bullying occurs most.
• PEOPLE - Critical mass of people who are supportive
AND active on all levels.
EMPOWER THE BYSTANDERS!
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
37. Resources
• Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the
Gap,” Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November
2003
• Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social
Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion
• “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District,
http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf
• Joe Feagin, “The Two Faced Racism.” White Privilege Conference.
Springfield, MA. April 2008.
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network)
www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org,
http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html
• Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of
Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine,
http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=144307&
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
38. More Resources
• “101 Ways to Combat Prejudice.” Anti-Defamation League
http://www.adl.org/prejudice/default.asp
• Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers,
http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf
• Hafner, Lauren. “Bullying Report: How are Washington State
Schools Doing?” Safe Schools Coalition. December 2003
http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/bullyreport/bullyreport12-03.htm
• “House Bill Report - SHB 1444, Washington State” Bully Police
USA http://www.bullypolice.org/wa_law.html
• “Ten Ways to Fight Hate.” Teaching Tolerance
http://www.tolerance.org/10_ways/index.html
• “Washington State School Safety Center.” Office of
Superintendant of Public Education
http://www.k12.wa.us/SafetyCenter/HarassmentBullying/default.asp
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
39. Gender Specific Resources
• JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and
Courageous Daughters
• Pooja Makhijani, Under Her Skin: How Girls Experience Race in
America.
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early
gender differences in competition and play and “Love Lab.”
• Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent
Girls
• Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out.
• Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Speaks Out.
• Harriet R. Tenenbaum, “Gender Achievement Motivation,” Learning and
the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003.
• Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your
Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of
Adolescence
• Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth.
• Naomi Wolf, Promiscuities.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
40. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Notes de l'éditeur
Introduction - Who Am I? Why This Workshop? Goals and Outcomes?
1. Stereotype - A preconceived or oversimplified generalization about an entire group of people without regard for their individual differences. While often negative, stereotypes may also be complimentary. Even positive stereotypes can have a negative impact however, simply because they are broad generalizations. The stereotypes we hold form the basis of our prejudices. 2. Prejudice - A conscious or unconscious negative belief about a whole group of people and its individual members. When the person holding the prejudice also has and uses the power to deny opportunities, resources or access to a person because of their group membership, there is discrimination. 3. Discrimination - Prejudice plus the power. Discrimination can take many forms, including racism, sexism, heterosexism, ableism, ageism, etc. Many acts of discrimination build up over time, perpetuated against one relatively less powerful social group by a more powerful social group, lead to a group of people being in a state of oppression. 4. Oppression - The systematic subjugation of a group of people by another group of people with access to social power, the result of which benefits one group over the other and is maintained by social beliefs and practices. Because oppression is institutionalized in our society, target group members often believe the messages and internalize the oppression. 5. Internalized Oppression - The "buying into" the elements of oppression by the target group. When target group members believe the stereotypes they are taught about themselves, they tend to act them out and thus perpetuate the stereotypes which reinforces the prejudice and keeps the cycle going.
Real or Alleged Identity or Characteristics - A preconceived or oversimplified generalization about an individual without regard for the whole and complex person. A person ’s various identities are shaved down to “jock,” “sissy,” “geek,” “goth,” “slut,” “weirdo,” etc. These generalizations may be based on real aspects of the person or wholly made up by rumors and assumptions. These generalizations, when examined to the core, are often based on the person’s race, gender, class, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, ability, or age. The generalizations we make form the basis of our assumptions and stereotypes (prejudice). Assumptions, Stereotypes, and Labeling (Prejudice) - A conscious or unconscious negative belief about a whole group of people and its individual members. When the person holding the prejudice also has and uses the power (physical power – stronger and bigger, social power – friends, popularity, good reputation) to deny opportunities, resources or access (to friends, social occasions, self esteem) to a person because of their real or labeled group membership, there is mistreatment, rumors, and exclusion (discrimination). Mistreatment, Rumors, and Exclusion (Discrimination) - Prejudice plus the power. Discrimination can take many forms: isolating, hitting/tripping, verbally harassing/teasing, taking/hiding things, spreading rumors, sending hurtful emails, and more. Many acts of discrimination build up over time, perpetuated against one relatively less powerful social individual by a more powerful social individual or individuals, lead to condoned and widespread bullying and harassment ( oppression). Condoned and Widespread Bullying and Harassment (Oppression) - The systematic subjugation of a group of an individual by another group of people with access to social power. The bullying is widespread, performed by people who didn ’t dislike the person in the first place. There is a silence from most everyone that seems to make this bullying okay. This condoned and widespread bullying benefits the non-bullied over the bullied and is maintained by social beliefs and practices. Because oppression is accepted by the peer community, the target individual often believes the messages and gives in to self blame and shame (internalized oppression). Self Blame and Shame ( Internalized Oppression) - The "buying into" the elements of oppression by the target individual. The bullied person starts to believe the stereotypes they are taught about him/herself, and he/she starts to accept the discrimination and oppression passively. Bullied people blame themselves for what is happening, feel ashamed of themselves, and even act out in the way their peers expect them to be and thus perpetuate the stereotypes which reinforces the prejudice and keeps the cycle going.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee John Medina - Talaris Institute Watching boys and girls play. Boys play together through competition (Oh yeah? I bet I can toss the ball higher than you!) Girls play collaboratively (Can you toss the ball as high as me? Let ’s try a little higher). Mix boys and girls (G-Wanna toss the ball? B-I bet I can toss the ball higher than you! G-You must not like me… B-What happened?) Rachel Simmons - Odd Girl Out Response to danger. Boys choose “fight or flight.” Girls choose “tend and befriend.” Males see aggression as a way to control their world, females see aggression as an end to relationships. Mary Pipher - Reviving Ophelia Boys see their failure in terms of external factors and see their success in terms of their ability. Girls see their success in terms of luck and hard work and see their failure in terms of lack of ability. Power Dead Even - women/girls will do anything to bring down another woman/girl to their level
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Cannot attribute all to gender differences. Gender bias plays a huge role. We socialize kids into these behaviors. What happens when boys display behavior on left? “Boys will be boys…” What happens when girls display behavior on right? “Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice!” What happens when gender behaviors don’t match gender expectations? Boys are pushed into sports, fights, getting dirty, building things, scientific investigation by adults and pushed down by peers with words like “Sissy, girl, pussy, fag.” Girls are told to play nice, share, be ladylike, punished harsher for fighting,complimented on looks by adults and put down by peers with words like “butch, jock, bitch, dyke.” Rachel Simmons - Odd Girl Out Ideal girl according to girls = very thin, pretty, blonde, fake, stupid, tall, blue eyes, big boobs, fit, expensive clothes, un-proportional, naked, trendy, popular, boyfriends, smiling, happy, helpless, talking on the phone, superficial conflicts, looks older, girlie, dependent, impractical clothes, manipulative, sex = power, rich, good teeth/clear skin, smart, perfect, romantically attached with someone with status. Anti-girl according to girls = mean, ugly, excessively cheerful, athletic, brainy, opinionated, pushy, dark features, not skinny, imperfections, promiscuous, professional, insecure, dorky, depressed/unhappy, masculine, serious, strong, independent, gay/lesbian, artsy, PMSish, unrestrained, egocentric, not social, hard to get along with, bookish.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Boys • Male Stereotypes & Homophobia • Physical Power • Worst Labels for Boys: Sissy, Fag, Wimp • Bully = Physical & Athletic Size and Power • Bullied = Smaller, Weaker • Social Collective = Gangs, Athletic Teams • Physical Abuse and Overt Aggression • Outliers of Victims = Powerful Boys of Color, Empowered GBT Boys • Signs of Cry = Fantasy Lone Wolf, Extreme Sports Girls • Gender Bias & Homophobia • Social Power • Worst Labels for Girls: Mean, Ugly, Dyke • Bully = Physical Beauty & Social Power • Bullied = Non-Mainstream Beauty, Few or No Friends • Social Collective = Cliques • Emotional Abuse and Relational Aggression • Outliers of Victims = Generalist Girls, Empowered Girls of Color • Signs of Cry = Isolated Damsel in Distress, Eating Disorders, Cutting Signs of internalized victimization can be different - boys: risky behaviors and physical pain risking activities like extreme sports and dangerous skateboarding. Girls: cutting
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Alternative aggression defines any behavior that expresses anger in ways other than direct words or physical aggression. It has been happening for years among girls, but only recently has the literature come more into the mainstream with books like Odd Girl Out and Queen Bees and Wannabes and movies like Mean Girls.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Rachel Simmons - Girls don ’ t want to express anger directly to the person that caused it for fear of losing that relationship. There are problems when direct confrontation happens. Because so many girls lack facility with everyday conflict expression of anger makes listeners skittish and defensive. The sound of someone upset feels like the first sign of impending isolation, a kind of social thunder echoing in the distance. Result: relational aggression - silent treatment. Not inviting someone. Stares and glares. I won ’ t be friends with you if …” Pretending the person isn ’ t there. Sabotaging a relationship.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Rachel Simmons - Plague of the “ sorry ” : perfunctory like “ bless you. ” Really means, I don ’ t want to lose you so let ’ s call truce. But incident is recorded in memory to bring up at a later fight. Plague of the “ I ’ m just kidding. ” “ Can ’ t you take a joke? ” Girl making comment is really taking a jab to release aggression but keeps the “ nice girl ” thing by saying she was kidding. The girl on receiving end is hurt but won ’ t say because she doesn ’ t want to be “ hypersensitive girl, ” someone no one likes. For boys who have other outlets for anger, one-up teasing each other is actually a joke. For girls who have no other outlets, joking takes on another meaning altogether.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Can ’ t you take a joke? Gosh you are such an over-reactor. Eye rolling. Sarcasm. Mocking. Rumors - someone else does the “ dirty work ” in ruining the reputation and relationships of the target.
Children experiencing bullying are more likely to have suicide ideation, experiment with drugs, participate in risky behaviors. Bullied students experience social loneliness, social invisibility, discomfort with parents and administrators who do not validate or understand their plight. Psychological pain registers in same area of brain as physical pain. We ’re not hypersensitive about physical bruises, we’re worried about long term psychological impact anyway. Same impact of physical bullying as indirect aggression. Students experiencing bullying often experience a sharp drop of focus and grades in school. Baumeister Studies on effects of social exclusion - drop of scores on academic tests. Baumeister studies also show that people who even THINK they are being socially excluded become less helpful and productive members of groups and become increasingly aggressive - school shootings are NOT a mystery when you look at the kids involved. Hundreds of grown women still carry the scars of bullying. Not a coincidence that muddle school years are among the most hated memories of people ’s childhood. Behavior in relationships later on very much reflective of how the woman travailed through her adolescence. Our sense of worthlessness follows us on a systemic level. Naomi Wolf - Women face isolation of male-dominated culture. Mass women ’ s culture found almost exclusively in magazines. Do and don ’ t tone of women ’ s magazines unimaginable in men ’ s magazines
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Source: Ophelia Project Relational Aggression Booklet
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Source: Ophelia Project Relational Aggression Booklet and Odd Girl Out
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Rachel Simmons - Don ’ t blanket blame the bully. Don ’ t call the bully ’ s parents. Don ’ t overly empathize - think of her as a child learning to walk. Rachel Wiseman - Don ’ t be fooled by smooth approach of the bully – they know they can get you off their back by placating. Do not chastise the victim for not standing up for herself. Don ’ t freak out and threaten to call the school unless she asks for your help. Don ’ t tell her what to do. Joanne Deak - Parents = stop telling girls that nice and kind will lead to friends because it ’ s not true. If a girl is perceived as loyal, trustworthy, and respectful for others, she may or may not have a lot of friends in school. However, she probably will be recognized as a natural leader by other students, will find that girls and boys come to her to talk or for help with homework, and that people like her. Example: popular girls will often not be chosen for tasks like student rep – it ’ s the loyal, serious, trustworthy, and most likely to represent the needs of many. Don ’ t jump in too early or too often. Avoid the “ I want you to stop being her friend. ” Having a friend who talks you into doing bad things or talking behind your back does two important things. First, it forces a girl to figure out what to do in these situations and that adds to the bank of her coping skills. Second, it provides valuable information about human beings, which will add to her wisdom in making affiliation choices later. Pain and conflict sticks in the memory banks far better than parental words of advice.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee U.S. advertisers spent $235.6 billion in 2009 (80% of countries in the world have GDPs less than this).
05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee U.S. advertisers spent $235.6 billion in 2009 (80% of countries in the world have GDPs less than this).
Policy - When schools don ’t have an explicit policy, teachers have no legs to stand on in dealing with these matters. Kids know it’s happening, teachers know it’s happening, but there is no real response when parents or students say “it’s just what happens at this age,” or “what’s the big deal?” Programming - As Gary Howard always said, “You can’t teach what you don’t know.” Give teachers support in learning about alternative aggression, how to recognize it, and what to do about it. Teachers and staff also need to stop repeating the cycle of gender bias unwittingly and punishing girls more harshly for acts of aggression or acting out in general. Students need support, too. If girls don’t know how to deal with conflict, they will resort to what they know and what is safer. Practice - Adults jump on kids “don’t say” “don’t do” but don’t always follow through with meaningful follow-up. These same things then get driven underground to be used when adults aren’t around. They become the very weapons of bullying, which occurs in spaces where there is less adult supervision. Swift and clear consequences must follow acts of alternative aggression, and further explanation and training must reinforce the policy and programming. Adults also need to commit to being more visible in unsupervised spaces like bathrooms, hallways, lunch rooms, etc. to increase safety for all kids from all forms of bullying.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/22/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Final Tidbits: -teach first and refer to later. We have a tendency to see it happen & react with education. -there are times and places for interventions. What is important is that SOMETHING is done in the moment, and that there is ALWAYS follow-up -practice, practice, practice. The more clever, poignant, and effective language comes out on the third try :-) -Did you know that statistically, adults are more likely to comment on girls' looks and boys' skills? -Why do boys experience a big dip in self esteem as they enter elementary school and girls experience it as they enter middle school? -Why is bullying still most severe for boys when they are or are assumed to be gay? -How can we fully support our children no matter where they lie in the gender spectrum while protecting them from the pressures and bullying they face from peers should they not conform to gender norms? -Where is the balance between religious inclusivity and gender and sexuality inclusivity? -What if you believe in the "rightness" of certain gender and heterosexual norms?