Building trust is about making an authentic connection with another person. It involves not only having the right attitude, but being able to demonstrate the right behaviour. What is behind that gut feeling you have when you meet somebody? I'll demystify the trust-building process. My doctoral research on trust along with my 25 years experience in working with executives and teams will help you to higher levels of authenticity and effectiveness.
Hello and welcome to Executive Presence! Executive Presence is Sexy! “ Uh-oh, ” you ’ re thinking, “ Diane ’ s lost the plot. ” Just hold on a minute and hear me out. I ’ m using sexy in the sense of exciting, stimulating and intriguing. Do you want executive presence? I think we all do! So let ’ s take a few moments and look at what it is, what it isn ’ t and how you can get it.
This dynamic expression of power and authority, characterized by the President and wife Michelle, is a clear indicator you ’ re in the company of executive presence. To a certain extent, it ’ s also based on the preconceived expectations of a person ’ s reputation—their consistency or personal branding. Again, the Obamas illustrate the point. The third defining characteristic of EP is a strong identity. This has to do with one ’ s state of being and a spirit that ’ s genuine to the core. There ’ s no place for superficiality. These are people with vision, never small and mean. And they capture the imagination. Again, three cheers for the Obamas.
And here what it isn ’ t - Mr. Dion, former Canadian Leader of the Opposition Party never got it and he is still wondering what it is...
Here is another illustration of what it is and what it is not. No clutter - no ambiguity.
The really big deal about executive presence is that it can be learned. There is no genetic predisposition. I am sometimes teased for the missionary zeal that overcomes me when making this point. Ultimately, I would argue, it ’ s my Job, with a capital J, to coach and harness the qualities needed for executive presence. Let ’ s get to them. There are two key categories: Physical and Psychological.
Three relatively simple components comprise the Physical category. Simple to understand perhaps, but not so simple to achieve: First, How You Look - How you package yourself has a great impact on how others respond to you. The clothes you choose to wear define and describe who youare. Occasionally, of course, practical considerations enter into these choices such as comfort, durability, availability and price. In Body language we say one gesture equals one word in a sentence, and it is a cluster of gestures that transmits the whole message. In Dress, it works the same way. One piece of clothing equals one word in a sentence your shirt is one word, your tie or scarf is another word, your pants are another word, your accessories are the adjectives or adverbs, …and that is how you build your message – this is what we call the language of clothes. Let ’ s face it, if 95% of your body is covered with clothing and accessories, it is bound to say something about you!
Your body language is crucial as it speaks emotions, feelings, attitude.
When you enter a room, we notice your dress, your grooming and your body language. That is how a first impression is created.
Dr. Merahbian ’ s (best known for his work in non-verbal communications) , says that our non-verbal communication account for 55% of our message, our vocal tonality 38% and the words we use 7% . OF course, it is important to note that this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable. ”
Then there is How you interact. The ability to connect effectively and build relationships require great interpersonal skills.
As a matter of fact, according to the Carnegie Foundation, the reasons.why you keep a job, get a promotion or win a new client is based 15% on your technical skills and 85% on hour interpersonal skills. If you doubt these stats - just think for a moment. It is a given, you must have the technical skills necessary to do a certain job, but in the end, when a choice has to be made between two people, we choose the one we think we can get along with the best or will fit the team the best.
On the Psychological front, the content is, as you would expect, slightly more complex: One of the challenges of executive presence training is about the “ intangibles ” . Attitude, characters, values, beliefs - these invisible traits we all have. Let ’ s look at the three main categories that have been defined after extensive research and years of practice in the areas of trust and presence.
The first one is authenticity: This is about being truthful, candid, open and true to your values It is about being consistent with a personal brand that reflects your true character It is also what you do when no one is watching
The second one is Reliability: Reliability provides others with the reassurance that they can count on you You adhere to the same principles, You also know how and when it is important to adapt and be flexible without compromising your values You think twice about any commitments you make because when you commit - you ’ re in for the duration
The third one deals with your social intelligence Under social intelligence, we could include all of the tangibles we looked at earlier - i.e how you dress, how you act and how you interact, yet there is a more to it than that. I am referring to your ability to truly empathize versus just saying what you know is the right thing to say. Your actions will speak louder than your words. I am referring to your ability to read your environment and respond appropriately. Those who possess the highest level of social intelligence also are very self-aware and are high in self-trust. They also know how to manage perceptions. People who closely monitor themselves, regardless of the situation, are called high self-monitors. They can switch on and off according to social demands and expectations but most importantly, they have learned to modify their behaviour and speech to suit the circumstances. So-called low self-monitors, by comparison, may be less observant, oblivious to their surroundings or even disdainful of withholding their true feelings.
So, before I say; “ That ’ s a wrap, ” Let me repeat: Executive presence is sexy - why - becasue it build more than relationships it builds partnerships. The really big deal about executive presence is that it can be learned. There is no genetic predisposition. I am sometimes teased for the missionary zeal that overcomes me when making this point. Ultimately, I would argue, it ’ s my Job, with a capital J, to coach and harness the qualities needed for executive presence. On a number of occasions, someone would say to me: Look at this guy - he ’ s our CEO. Dress and decorum certainly isn ’ t his no.1 priority. He is rude, badly groomed, yet ,he is the president of this organization. My answer: This guy made it to the top for one or two reasons: He was very lucky, meaning he was at the right place at the right time or.. he is extremely smart, well above average and that is not 95% of the population, most of us, we have to work at it.