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1. Interpersonal
Processes
Presentation by
Dr Petra Buergelt
Charles Darwin University

2. Interpersonal Processes

3. Who of you has experienced relationships
that empowered you?
Who of you has or is experiencing
challenging relationships?

4. Would it be of benefit for you if you
knew the CHALLENGES & SECRETS
to creating:
Healthy & empowering relationships?
High performance teams?

5. SELF
Relation-
ships
Key interpersonal processes
Access to transforming any relationship

6. Bright side of RS & teamsBright side of RS & teams
Dark side of RS & teamsDark side of RS & teams
How we create othersHow we create others
Turning the dark intoTurning the dark into
the bright sidethe bright side
Sailing Course

7. Bright Side

8. What would healthy & empowering
relationships in your live make available for
you – personally &/or professionally?
What would being part of high performance
teams make available for you?

9. Human need

11. define our selves in relationship to others =
Network of conversations

12. Higher performance

13. Keys to Maintaining Healthy & Empowering Relationships (RS)
Love & acceptance, trust & respect
Idealised positive perception of other
Commitment to making RS work
Willingness to invest time & energy into RS
Focus on how to create a better RS
Willingness to adapt & resolving conflicts
Sharing, reciprocity & fairness
Skills in stopping repetitive spirals of negative reciprocity
Reframing ‘faults’ & giving benefit of doubt
children
Physical & psychological intimacy

14. How could you facilitate team work in
your life?
Pulling together: https://vimeo.com/99080962
Power of teamwork: https://vimeo.com/99082186

15. Dark Side

16. Who has experienced…
… RS breakdowns?
… doing things you didn’t want to
do but you did them because your
boss told you, everybody else did
them or it was part of your role?
… feeling different & not fitting
in?

17. People think, feel & behave differently
in groups
Social Influence
Deindividuation
become anonymous
give up responsibility for their
behavior
Complying with authority  Obedience
Changing to accommodate to fit in 
conformity
Changing to fulfil rules, norms & roles

18. CONFORMITY
ASCH
OBEDIENCE
MILGRIM
PRISON
ZIMBARDO

19. 1) What happened in the study?
2) How does the study play out in YOUR life?
3) What are the lessons of the study for YOU & YOUR life?
4) How could you counteract the influence of this interpersonal process?
5) Observations team work – what worked & didn’t work?
OBEDIENCE CONFORMITY PRISON
MILGRIM ASCH ZIMBARDO

20. 1) Team creation
2) Who is your leader, time keeper & writer?
3) What study does your team want to explore?
4) Time: 20 min
5) Presenting
OBEDIENCE CONFORMITY PRISON
MILGRIM ASCH ZIMBARDO

21. 1) What happened in the study?
2) How does the study play out in YOUR life?
3) What are the lessons of the study for YOU & YOUR life?
4) How could you counteract the influence of this interpersonal
process?
5) Observations team work – what worked & didn’t work?
OBEDIENCE CONFORMITY PRISON
MILGRIM ASCH ZIMBARDO

22. Key Take Home Messages
people obey when ordered by
legitimate authority
even if action goes against their
consciousness
 people become their roles
 roles – what mental models &
behaviours we assoiciate with roles
– strongly influences thinking,
emotions, attitudes, social
cognitions, identities & actions

23. Socialized to obey authority & to conform 
internalized
Useful  enables & regulates living together
Dangerous  if result is harmful
When you think of the long and gloomy
history of man, you will find more hideous
crimes have been committed in the name of
obedience than in the name of rebellion.
C.P. Snow
Everyday life examples
Authority & peer pressure
fashion & body images
marketing

24. WHY?
Difficult to say NO or DISAGREE
want to be liked & accepted  human
contact extraordinarily important  risk
social disapproval = fear of rejection
fear of serious consequence – disapproval,
disappointment, hurt & anger, humiliation,
teasing, punishment, ignoring, rejection
Ambiguous & crisis situations
unsure & confused = use other people to
define situation = cues to respond  esp
experts = believe others are more correct

25. Integrity conflict & internal pressure
agreed & conflicting norms
Getting it right
Deferring personal responsibility  “just
following orders”
Self-justification  gradual = difficult to
draw the line when to stop
Feel uncomfortable  biological evidence
Genuinely believe others are right

26. SOLUTIONS
knowledge: self & others
strong sense of self
acceptance of ambiguity
giving up being liked & fear
willing to withstand repercussions of
disobedience
revoking promise & counteracting
trusting own judgement & accepting
responsibility
Allies – enrolling others
Using social influence to promote beneficial
behavior  Psy209 social psych unit

27. How WE Influence (Create) Others

28. How we see the world = active
act of interpreting to impose
order or coherence on a lot of
details by seeing them as a whole
How you understand the details
depends on background & context
previous experiences &
interpretation
environment
Self-fulfilling Prophecy
Interpretations of a situation
evoke actions that make the
interpretations come true

29. REALITY
=
EXPERIENCES
Outer world

30. REALITY
=
EXPERIENCES
INTER-
PRETATIONS
&
STORIES
Outer world Inner World
Others
Self

31. REALITY
=
EXPERIENCES
INTER-
PRETATIONS
&
STORIES
Outer world Inner World
Others
Self

32. REALITY
=
EXPERIENCES
INTER-
PRETATIONS
&
STORIES
Outer world Inner World
Others
Self
Play out in small & big ways in
our lives

33. Interpretations of RS 
decisions & expectations re RS 
Future RS
Inconsistent or abusive parents
Self: unlovable &
unworthy
Others: hostile &
unpredictable
Behavior:
careful
mistrust
Loving & consistent parents
Self: lovable & worthy
Others: loving &
supportive
Behavior:
open
trusting

34. REALITY
=
EXPERIENCES
INTER-
PRETATIONS
&
STORIES
Outer world Inner World
Others
Self
disempowering empowering

35. Transforming the DARK into the LIGHT in RS
Secret Key
to Creating & Maintaining
Empowering Relationships
in YOUR Life

37. Code of Honour – Chatham House Rules
keep all said confidential
-what is said in the room stays in the room
be playful & open
speak your truth – be yourself
don’t speak over each other
listen
Be generous & none-judgemental – everybody
does the best they can do
respectful & supportive

38. What relationships in your life are important for you?
What relationships are working & which one’s don’t work or not as well as
you like them to work?
Select ONE RS in your life that isn’t working or isn’t working as well as you
like it to work?

39. What is your predictable future in this RS?
What are you already DOING in this RS?
What do you already HAVE in this RS?
Who are you already BEING in this RS?

40. What is it COSTING you?
What is the BENEFIT of keeping RS that way?

41. What is missing in your way of BEING that would make a
difference in this RS?
What would that new way of BEING make available for your
self & others?

42. Express as a
POSSIBILITY
&
Be this POSSIBILITY in your life
You can repeat this process with ANY other RS which aren’t working for you & turn them in fulfilling RS!!!

43. Want to know more?
Social & cultural psychology
Developmental Psychology
Personality
Applied psychology
Introduction to Counselling & Counselling/interventions

44. Key Learnings & Actions
Write down:
3
 Key Learnings
 Actions you commit to
Share with the person next to you!

45. Next week …