Keynote Address delivered at the 3RD INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON GENDER: STRENGTHENING POLICY IMPLEMENTATION IN A CHANGING WORLD On SEPTEMBER 5TH 2016. By Mrs Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi At The , University Of Benin

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CHANGING THE STORY: A ROAD MAP FOR ADDRESSING
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS IN NIGERIA
3RD
INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON GENDER: STRENGTHENING POLICY
IMPLEMENTATION IN A CHANGING WORLD, UNIVERSITY OF BENIN
SEPTEMBER 5TH
2016.
BISI ADELEYE-FAYEMI
CO-FOUNDER, AFRICAN WOMEN’S DEVELOPMENT FUND AND PARTNER, AMANDLA
CONSULTING.

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CHANGING THE STORY
Mabel.
Mabel is a 42 year old woman. She has a job she loves and is very good at. She is
respected by all her colleagues and peers. She has three adorable children, who
are all doing well in their respective schools. She is very active in her church, she
is a member of two professional associations and is considering a run for the
Presidency of one of these associations. Every day, wherever she is at 5pm, her
heart begins to beat a little bit faster. By 6pm when she starts to gather her
papers to head home, the heartbeats increase and her palms become sweaty. As
her driver moves slowly through the traffic on her way home, she does not pay
any attention to the usual noise and drama commuters encounter on their way
home after work. Her mind is fixed on home. She is not looking forward to going
home, but she has to go. She does not know what mood her husband will be in
tonight. Two nights ago he was unhappy with her because she informed him she
had to travel to a meeting in Abuja next week. He showed his displeasure by
choking her. She was let off lightly then. The week before, he kicked her hard in
the ribs. Maybe that is why the nagging pain in her side won’t go away. She found
herself hoping that whatever he did, it should not be her face this time. There is
only so much make-up can cover. Not my face, she kept thinking to herself. She
looked at the file on her lap, wondering if having to stay up late tonight to finish
writing would incur his wrath again. She had to finish this task, she had a ruling
tomorrow. Mabel is a High Court Judge.
Mama Joke
Iya Joke felt herself drifting in and out of consciousness. The smoke was beginning
to overwhelm her. She no longer heard the screams and shouts of all the young
men hovering over her, holding her still so that the smoke from the burning
leaves could permeate every pore in her body. A week ago, these young men had
dragged her from her house, accusing her of being a witch. A young relative in her
compound, who was like a son to her, had been ill for some time. All efforts to

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heal him had been to no avail. She had even accompanied his mother to places
trying to help. Now she was being accused of poisoning him with her witchcraft.
She was taken to the King’s palace. The King and his chiefs took her into an inner
chamber in the palace, where she was given a strange concoction to drink. She
was told that if she did not confess to her witchcraft within seven days, the
concoction would kill her. She was then released and she went back home.
Eight days later, the young men came back. The concoction had not killed her,
which ought to have been proof of her innocence, yet they were convinced of her
guilt. They lit a fire and burnt the sacred Obo leaves, which were meant to
identify witches. Any witch who inhaled the smoke from the leaves would have to
confess. So here she was, being beaten and held down by a screaming horde of
over twenty young men, all yelling at her to confess her crimes of witchcraft. Then
it all went dark. She woke up on her bed in her house, and even though she could
see her surroundings, she could not move. She closed her eyes again. Or so she
thought. In the morning, her cousin discovered her body, lifeless on the bed. She
ran her hand over her face to close her eyes. She is at peace now, her cousin
thought to herself.
I could tell you more stories. Tales of women hurt, debased, bought and sold,
humiliated, starved of affection, and driven to madness. Women butchered,
burnt, beaten and tortured literally to death. The stories usually start the same
way and have the same ending. Women and girls who are born thinking they are
human beings entitled to a life of dignity and respect, to be loved and cared for by
their families and communities. And in the course of their lives, they find out a
very uncomfortable truth. They have less value than boys when they are young.
When they are older, they are disposable and transferable, from fathers who
value their sons over their daughters, to husbands who become their lord and
master. Almost every man they come across is superior. The boy they beat to
second position in class, the male student who got a B to their A and the male
colleague who got promoted in her place because the board determined on her

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behalf that she needed to spend more time with her young children. These stories
cut across class, education and social standing.
Gender based violence is no respecter of age, class or education. Whilst education
and social standing might give women more choices, the huge burden of cultural
and societal expectations continues to wear women down into submission.
Experts on Violence against Women will tell you that there are three main forms
of Violence against Women:
Physical: Beatings, acid attacks, torture, kidnapping, trafficking, harmful
traditional practices such as dangerous widowhood rites, disinheritance, Female
Genital Mutilation, witch hunts, imposition of dress codes, forced seclusion, and
others.
Sexual: Rape, incest, indecent assault, sexual extortion and exploitation, marital
rape, child marriage, sexual slavery, forced prostitution, baby factories, virginity
testing, and ritual rape.
Psychological: Intimidation, sexual harassment, institutional discrimination,
neglect, verbal abuse, abandonment, stalking, cyber stalking and abuse, isolation
from friends and family, denial of livelihood opportunities, lack of voice in
decision making.
If a woman or girl has experienced any of these, it can be said that she is a victim
of violence. Conventional statistics put victims of one or a combination of these
forms of violence at 1 out of 3 women. Why should we care about Violence
against Women? We should care because it destroys women’s lives. It leaves
women scarred and scared for the rest of their lives. It erodes self-esteem and
confidence. It diminishes the capacity of women to fulfill their full potential. It
destroys families and communities. It affects our economy. It increases HIV/AIDS
rates, transmission of STDs, serious health conditions, commercial sex work and
numbers of people suffering from mental health disorders. Women who are
victims of violent sexual crimes are afraid to report for fear of stigma, blame and

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rejection. As in many other parts of the world, when the cases are reported, it
takes so much effort to get a conviction, the process leaves the victims feeling
assaulted all over again. When there is no justice, they do not get closure and the
healing process takes so much longer.
For us to understand Violence against Women, we need an appreciation of the
structural and underlying causes which feed this menace from generation to
generation and which creates an almost unbreakable cycle of oppression. We all
grow up in societies firmly entrenched in patriarchal norms and values which
influence all the social, cultural, political, economic, educational and religious
institutions around which our lives are structured. It is these institutions, into
which we are all socialized, that determine the value and worth of women and
girls. As long as these institutions remain bastions of male dominance and control,
the empowerment of women will continue to be severely limited. Acts which
violate women and girls in public and private, are merely a symptom of the
effects of a culture that emphasizes the superiority of men over women and takes
women on a long journey of subjugation throughout their life-cycle.
The good news is that over the years, this cycle of oppression has been
challenged, and significant gains have been made. Thanks to the relentless
advocacy of generations of women’s rights activists and human rights advocates,
gender equality and women’s empowerment is no longer a strange concept.
Women are today better educated than they were in the past, they play key roles
in the formal and informal economy, they are more politically visible, and there
are many role models who have blazed trails and broken barriers for other
women. There are a respectable number of professional bodies and associations
created for and by women who seek to address some of the historical imbalances.
There are also several policies and laws in place at State and Federal level which
are meant to provide a basis for raising the status of women. At the global and
regional levels, it has been established that women’s human rights are universal,
inalienable, and indivisible, and that Governments at all levels have an obligation
to guarantee these rights.

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However, in spite of all these gains and advancements, the status of women in
our communities remains a precarious one. Cultural, social and religious
institutions have not been transformed enough to provide women with the
dignity and respect they deserve. Gender based violence continues to rise, and
the inadequate investments in improving the livelihoods of women have led to
the feminization of poverty. With this has come the attendant consequences - an
overall diminished capacity for women and girls to achieve their full potential.
My submission therefore, is that if we are committed to ending, or at least
minimizing Violence against Women and Girls, we should be prepared to engage
in challenging and transforming all the institutions and processes which continue
to undermine the progress of women and girls, regardless of their age, class and
social standing. How can we give Mabel a different story? How does she get the
respect, self-esteem and confidence she needs to break away from her current
life of abuse, living in fear every day? Could we have changed Mama Joke’s fate?
Could we have saved her life? If any of these two women were standing before
you here today, what would you do for them to change their story?
Moving Forward
1. Address structural and underlying causes of violence against women
1.1: Institutions and communities
 Institutions which predetermine the status and roles of women should be
redefined. Educational, religious, cultural and social spaces need to be sites
of empowerment and transformation, not tools for the abuse of women
 Gender equality continues to remain a priority. Women’s economic
empowerment and their full and equal participation in public and political
life are vital for addressing the structural causes of violence against women
and girls.

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 We need to stop fuelling practices, beliefs and stereotypes that undermine
the physical and emotional well-being of women and girls.
 All harmful traditional practices which minimize the personhood of women
should be avoided. Their time has past. Widow abuse, FGM, child marriage,
male preference, disinheritance of women and so on, are not compatible
with the doctrine of inalienable human rights.
 Religious institutions should be places where women and girls are valued
and respected, and where their potential is not limited by manipulative
interpretations of religious texts.
 We live in times when most of our cultural reference points have become
globalized. The films we watch, food we eat, music we listen and dance to,
the clothes we wear and what we read all have local and global contexts
and applications. In this globalized world, we have to deal with the good,
the bad and the ugly. At the center of all this is the representation of
women. In a world were women and girls are consistently over-sexualised,
this permeates our consciousness to the point of believing that women’s
bodies are available for sale, use and abuse. Musical lyrics, musical videos,
exhibitionism, endless beauty pageants, irresponsible use of social media,
questionable role models, celebration of mediocrity over substance, does
not provide an enabling environment for a culture of respect for women
and their bodies to thrive.
1.2: The role of families
 Parents should raise their daughters with a healthy dose of self-respect and
self esteem

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 Girls and boys should be raised with an understanding of equal
responsibilities, obligations and mutual respect
 Parents should reflect on the choice of schools for their children and be
sure they are making informed decisions. Learn to make the distinction
between discipline and abuse.
 Parents, especially mothers, should be wary of how your daughters are
looked after in your absence. Listen to your daughter if she tells you about
inappropriate behavior and take action immediately.
 People should think deeply about their choice of place of worship and the
implications for themselves and their children. If you are attending a place
of worship where you are told that your wife, sister, child, mother, and so
on, are behind your misfortunes, you need to worship elsewhere.
 Families of victims should not accept the ‘Rape and Beg’ syndrome. It fuels
impunity and does not bring closure.
 Young people should learn to be responsible for their actions and decisions.
It is good to be free, independent and adventurous, but not at the risk of
your safety or even life.
 Boys and men need a new understanding and definition of masculinity. Our
societies need strong men who can be providers, carers and nurturers of
values that embody respect and accountability. There should be no place
for those who derive their power from the abuse, exploitation and
intimidation of women and girls.
 The institution of marriage is a sacred one which binds two people together
in love, to live in peace and harmony, and to serve as a place where

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subsequent generations can come into the world and be nurtured with
values which can build good character. Marriage between two people who
cherish and value each other, and who develop the capacity to weather
storms together, through the good times and the bad, is beautiful.
Marriage is not meant to be a dictatorship where one person is right all the
time and the other party has to obey blindly without question. Marriage is a
partnership which thrives on love, fear of God, mutual respect, trust and
commitment. It is a contract which is only binding for as long as both
parties are happy with the arrangement and return on emotional
investments they make. Parents, religious leaders, families, and friends
should STOP making marriage sound like an iron- gated prison for women
from which there is no escape, and which has to be endured till the day
they literally die from abuse.
2. Provision and implementation of strong legal and policy frameworks
As mentioned above, there have been some attempts made to address
violence against women in Nigeria, through the adoption of relevant laws
at federal and state level. However, implementation and enforcement of
these laws remains woefully inadequate, creating the basis for a pervasive
culture of impunity. We still have significant gaps and challenges, and we
should all be concerned about our lack of institutional capacity to enforce
laws and policies. Inadequate implementation frameworks, lack of reliable
data, lack of financial, technical, material and human resources, lack of
cohesion and coordination, insufficient analysis and research, lack of
continuity, and much more, make implementation extremely difficult. At
the minimum, we require:
 Domestication of the Violence against Persons Prohibition Act of
2015

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 Domestication of the Child Rights Act by the States in Nigeria who
have not already done so. This is a priority in order to have
institutional mechanisms to protect young girls from various acts of
violence.
 Domestication of the National Gender Policy of 2005 (Revised in
2015) by all States of the Federation.
 Immediate passage of the Gender and Equal Opportunities Bill to
protect women, girls and other marginalized people from all forms of
discrimination
 Implementation of existing laws against harmful traditional practices
such as Female Genital Mutilation and Widowhood practices
 More women are needed at all levels of decision making, and the
quest for increased numbers should also be in tandem with the need
to have women committed to the goals of gender justice.
 Relevant institutions such as government machineries, schools,
tertiary institutions, religious bodies, corporate entities and so on,
need to have Gender Policies to guide how women are treated and
socialized, with the goal of increasing and not decreasing
opportunities for women.
 The Nigerian government needs to open up Sexual Offenders
Registers throughout the country to ensure that they can keep track
of sexual predators who have a history of acts of sexual violence
against women and girls.

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3. Multi-sectoral and inter-agency services to respond to Violence Against
Women
A key challenge in the implementation of strategies to prevent violence against
women or to support and rehabilitate survivors, is the lack of inter-agency
collaboration and capacity. Without these, efforts to address this issue, no matter
how well meaning, will not be sustainable. The following issues should therefore
be addressed:
 There is a need to scale up Inter-agency collaboration to provide
counselling, pyscho-social support, therapy and rehabilitative services for
survivors of gender based violence. We badly need competent health care
services, counselling and therapy facilities, well-resourced shelters and half-
way houses, and skilled personnel all working together with a common
goal.
 There are many civil society organisations, women’s organisations, religious
and social groups and educational organisations, professional bodies and
unions, who have played a role in addressing violence against women in
various capacities. Their resourcefulness and dedication should be
applauded. There is however a need to work together to exchange
information and identify mutual strengths, gaps, overlaps and areas of
collaboration, to avoid working at cross purposes.
 One of the greatest impediments to success in the desire to minimize acts
of violence against women is combating the culture of impunity. Our law
enforcement agencies and criminal justice system need to play a more
active role in this, because with things as they are now, chances of securing
convictions in cases of sexual assault are very slim. When cases fizzle out
due to a combination of lack of forensic evidence, lack of commitment on
the part of law enforcement, indifference of the judiciary and pressure
from the families and associates of suspects, this prevents other victims of

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sexual assaults from coming forward, and leaves perpetrators with a feeling
of invincibility, paving the way for future attacks on other victims.
 The agencies who are the first to deal with victims of sexual assault such as
the police and health care providers, should have the capacity to handle
cases with the utmost sensitivity, there should be appropriate tools to
collect forensic evidence such as Rape Kits, and those who have this
training need to be kept within the system for as long as is feasible.
 We need to work closely with our traditional rulers and make them
partners in progress. Some traditional rulers are keen to uphold positive
cultural values and frown on acts of violence against citizens. They can be
encouraged to persuade their subjects to shun harmful traditional
practices. We should try as much as possible to seek allies amongst them.
There are also groups of female chiefs (both traditional and honorary) in
some of our communities who are seen as role models for other women
and who command respect. They too can be coopted to support our
community based advocacy efforts. The many women’s associations,
networks and age-grade unions should also make this part of their agenda.
The time has come for us to be our sister’s keeper and not the ones
mounting surveillance on other women, turning ourselves into foot soldiers
in the army of patriarchal oppression.
 Our religious institutions have a vital role to play in supporting these issues.
It is very sad to note that some religious leaders perpetrate and perpetuate
acts of violence against women and children. We need all religious bodies
to take a firm stance against gender based violence, and work with their
congregations to provide the necessary support, in ways which do not
continue to endanger the lives of women and children.

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 There is a lot of work that needs to be done to draw in men as allies in the
efforts to address Gender based violence. The work of the UN Secretary
General’s Network of Men Leaders to end Violence against Women needs
to be replicated in all our communities.
 All our best intentions will amount to nothing if communities do not own
the issue of violence against women and girls. We have to make the
necessary investments in sensitization and awareness raising to make
everyone a stakeholder in this issue. Every abused woman or girl is
someone’s mother, daughter, wife, sister, and friend. Communities,
especially in rural areas, should be sensitized to work with relevant bodies
on a range of intervention strategies such as mediation, counselling,
reporting incidents of abuse, legal literacy, aiding the criminal justice
system, and providing a strong support network for survivors of abuse.
Communities should not take laws into their hands, but they should be
prepared to support the implementation of laws and not obstruct justice
which is what happens in many instances.
 The media has played a key role in addressing issues of violence against
women and girls, and many stories carried by various media institutions
have led to public outrage and action. However, there is still a lot of work
to be done with the media in this regard. Training and sensitisation on how
to report stories of violence and abuse, how to protect the identities of
survivors, and consistent follow-up to expose conspiracies and acts of
impunity is very important. Investigative journalism is becoming a dying art
in this country, and this is one of the ways in which the media can support
this agenda.
 There is a lot of support that is required from philanthropic institutions
both public and private to address gender based violence, because the
government cannot do it all. Corporate funding in Nigeria to support

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women’s rights work is negligible. There is a business case to be made for
the prevention of violence against women and girls. A trafficked and
abused girl will not grow up to become the senior executive who will be
able to afford the new car, state of the art equipment, house or other
things your company is selling.
The woman suffering from domestic violence will spend her money and
time in and out of hospital or church, and will not have resources for your
latest cell phone or refrigerator. The survivor of a violent sexual assault
who happens to be one of your most promising employees will become a
shadow of herself and all what you have invested in her training goes down
the drain. The Corporate Social Responsibility goals of corporate bodies
need to be revisited to allow for the inculcation of values and principles
that espouse gender equality and women’s empowerment.
If you can invest in reality shows, beauty pageants, musical concerts and
cooking competitions, you can afford to fund a rehabilitation center for
survivors of violence, you can fund training programs for agencies on the
issue and you can stop using the half- naked bodies of women to advertise
your products.
4. Improving the knowledge base
Another major challenge policy makers and practitioners have faced is the dearth
of reliable data on prevalence rates, reporting processes, convictions, referral
points and front line service providers. We need investments in the following:
 More research and knowledge on all these issues in various communities
 Training, capacity building and peer learning exchanges within and outside
the country to assess how others have addressed these issues

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 Support for the growing number of Gender and Women’s Studies programs
in Universities around the country
Conclusion
For this agenda of eradicating or at least, minimizing violence against women and
girls, we need one critical issue - strong political will. Without political will, we will
not see any traction on any of these proposals. Political will is what will determine
the level of financial, technical and material investments in eradicating gender
based violence. Political will leads by example and models the way for a culture of
impunity to end. Political will implies a decision to fulfil the social contract that
leaders have with their people – the guarantee of peace, economic
empowerment, social well-being and a life of dignity and respect in return for the
trust imposed in them by the people.
Between 2010 and October 2014, there was demonstrable political will in Ekiti
State for the empowerment of women and a culture of zero tolerance for
violence against women and girls. Ekiti State became the first state to
domesticate the National Gender Policy, the Gender Based Violence Prohibition
Law was signed in November 2011, the Family Court was established in 2012, a
Shelter and Rehabilitation Center for women was opened in 2013, and the Equal
Opportunities Law was signed in December 2013. In addition, the GBV Law made
provision for a Survivor’s Fund, which helped support over 150 survivors of
violence to rebuild their lives.
As we call for more political will to end violence against women, we should say,
Enough is Enough. How many more of us need to die? How many more need to
be kidnapped, raped, tortured, maimed and abused? For how long do we want to
continue blaming the victims? Back to changing the story. Sometimes what is
needed is a kind word, empathy, an intervention, courage and sacrifice.
Remember the statistics- 1 in 3. It could be you. It could be me.

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Close your eyes. Remember all the women you know who have been victims of
one form of abuse or the other. Move your lips and say her name, not out loud,
but to yourself. If that woman is you, say your own name. Then let us say out loud
together, ‘You are a Survivor’.
Thank you.