adore final copy

1. BRETT STANILAND
Love Island, sustainable fashion &
PrettyLittleThing protest
ELIZA
BATTEN
Made in Chelsea star’s
second hand fashion success
ad re
Who’s
really
perfect?
APRIL 2022
£ 3 . 9 9
An untold
story about
anxiety

2. CONT
5 Social media and body shaming:
So, who’s really perfect?
6 Love yourself before anybody else
7 Gua sha and the roller
8 Interview with Lizzie Butcher
The do’s and dont’s of digital
marketing
10 The Seven Husbands of Evelyn
Hugo review
11 The female gaze:
Taking control of the narrative
12 Grown-ish review
13 The Tinder Swindler review
14 Domestic abuse survivor
‘At that point it was normalized
for me to walk through the
house like that.’
16 Dealing with abuse:
Tips and places to go for help
17 What is this behaviour? podcast
review
18 Stalked in uni:
‘He chased my friend in the dark’
20 Make room for me
22 Either British or Asian, not
British-Asian
23Time to normalise female
masturbation
24 Sophie Tea Art Gallery
25 Vaginismus:
The secret relationship killer
26 First time lucky
s e x
l i f e s t y l e
2
8 14
18 20
24 26

3. ENTS
28 Cover story:
Interview with Made In Chelsea’s, Eliza Batten
30 Ordinary girl
31 Sustainable fashion:
Our guide to creating a sustainable wardrobe
32 Starting a clothing business at 23
34 Pretty little problem with fast fashion:
Interview with Love Island’s, Brett Staniland
36 Your favourite makeup brands
38 Welcome to the House of Aristocrats
40 Eating disorder survivor:
“When everyone told me that life begins at 30... they
were right”
42 Brazillian butt lift gone wrong
“I’ve had to live with a dent in my thigh - plastic surgery
is not a joke”
44 Gestational diabetes:
A story of untold suffering
48 Mittelschmerz:
Is there a bright side?
50 An untold story about anxiety
52 Autism in women
54 Lockdown led to ED hell
56 Sling the mesh campaign
f a s h i o n
h e a l t h
3
28
34
38
50

4. A
fter months of hard
work, myself and
the Adore team are
proud to give to you our first
edition of the magazine.
What has evolved from
simply ideas on a page
have become a reality, and
something we can finally
share with you.
With our mission to
empower our readers, and
give them a voice to share
their stories.
As you flick through each
page, you will find stories
from some extraordinary
individuals.
Stories of success,
sustainability, and survival.
It is in our every hope that
these stories fill you with
inspiration and make you feel
like you can do anything.
Such strong women have
shared their stories with us -
stories that we feel honoured
sharing with you.
Women have shared
their stories about battling
anxiety, eating disorders, and
domestic abuse.
Discussing topics such
as mental health and sex is
imperative in the modern day
world we live in.
We want to provide you
with a safe space and relevant
information to feel assured
that whatever you are going
through, we can give you the
needed support.
We are committed to help
you recognise your own
worth.
We hope our work has paid
off and you can thoroughly
enjoy!
With love,
Abigail Beresford
GET IN TOUCH WITH adore
4
FIORA FLINTON
Social media manager
KIRA GIBSON
Website manager
SHANTELLE
GONDO
Health editor
BETHANY BAILEY
Lifestyle editor
MEET THE
TEAM
e d i t r ’ s
l e t t e r
It’s finally
here...
APR 2022
@adoremagazine_ @adore.magazine
Adore Magazine
adoremagazine123@gmail.com

5. Is it just me or did they try to make us believe
that those pretty little barbie dolls we had
growing up were the ideal body type?
When I was little, my parents told me I was
beautiful, perfect and said to me ‘never change
yourself for anyone’. But growing up things started
to change, people started to whisper things in my
ears, things that I couldn’t change, things that
would scar me and build insecurities until I chose
not to listen.
I didn’t post my first picture on Instagram until I
was 19, and even if I did I’d probably delete it ten
minutes later, and still feel judged even though I
knew nothing was wrong with me or the picture.
But then again we’ve always known that social
media has had its downfalls, especially in the sense
of women and their body types and sizes.
For some women it was almost impossible to post
a photo and not receive backlash or judgemental
and negative comments about what they looked
like, especially for those with a big social media
platform - for example influencers, and still people
were very aware that this was a form of online
bullying.
For many years now, the media have pushed
unrealistic images of how women’s bodies should
look. Social media has made it seem like all women
should have ‘perfect’ body shapes.
Most young girls, especially the ones growing into
this generation have had to grow up believing the
stereotypes of a ‘perfect’ body type being along the
lines of Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian
And it seems like social media has normalised that
if you’re a size 10 and above you’re a ‘plus size’ or
that if you’re a size 4 and below you’re ‘too slim’.
Some girls were body shamed, and people
criticised them for calling themselves ‘thick’ rather
than ‘fat’.
Other girls felt insecure as social media continued
to portray ‘big bums’ and ‘a slim waist’ as the norm.
It’s things like this that made me feel so insecure
to use social media, and I learnt that you just can’t
please everyone.
Surprisingly, although some celebrities are
portrayed as ‘the perfect body’, they also get body
shamed.Which makes me wonder, so what then is
the actual ‘perfect body shape’ and who is actually
able to claim this?
All women have different and yet beautiful body
sizes and shapes such as: pear, diamond, apple,
hourglass, straight and full bust. Others gain or
lose weight quicker and others don’t.
But what social media needs to understand is, as
long as a person is happy and comfortable with
who they are, then it shouldn’t be anyone else’s
concern.
Of course it’s understandable if someone wanted
to lose or gain weight, but my question is why
must social media be so judgemental or critical of
another person’s choice. I never really understood
that. And it’s always the people under the
comments that always have a lot to say, ‘keyboard
warriors’ as they call them.
We need to normalise appreciating our bodies
the way we are, ignore social media comments
and understand that as long as you’re comfortable
with what you look like, then you shouldn’t have to
change yourself to please anyone. Social media will
always pick and choose what and when something
is ‘perfect’ and when it’s not.
S o c i a l M e d i a &
B o d y S h a m i n g
S o w h o ’ s r e a l l y p e r f e c t ?
By Shantelle Gondo
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6. Love yourself
before anybody else
Name five things you love about
yourself - such a simple task
which can trigger instant panic.
If you had asked me five years ago
to name five things I hate about
myself, I would go above and beyond
to answer that question.
But, why could I not translate this
hate I had towards myself to love?
Five years later, I learned about self
love.
However, self love is not an
overnight process - it is something
that goes a lot deeper than running
a bath, lighting a few candles, and
binge watching your favourite show
on Netflix.
This is only a temporary fixture.
You’ve cared for yourself, but
you haven’t explored that love for
yourself.
As soon as that plug is pulled,
those candles are blown out, and
you’ve finished that series, you’re
back facing that difficult relationship
with yourself.
Where do you go from there?
It’s a position I’ve found myself in a
lot in the past, and I can happily say
I’m in a position now where I can
say I love myself.
I don’t mean that in an egotistical
way, nor am I going to sit and stare
at myself in the mirror all day, telling
myself that I’m a 10/10.
I mean it in a sense of that I accept
myself, and I wouldn’t want to be
anyone else.
I have been that person that has
debated plastic surgery - making my
boobs bigger, getting filler in my lips,
and even contemplating a nose job.
But at the end of the day, there’s
always going to be something that we
will find a flaw in.
Let’s face it, living in the digital age
we find ourselves in, it adds extra
ammunition to our self hatred.
An innocent scroll on Instagram
can lead to us poking and prodding
ourselves in the mirror, comparing
our bodies to models and
influencers, leaving us wondering
‘why does my body not look like
this?’.
Their bodies are not perfect either.
The tough reality is that nobody is
perfect.
The chances are high that these
models are fighting the same inner
battle as like you.
It’s a never ending circle of people
hating themselves.
But, you need to break yourself free
from that self-loathing circle, and
recognise that you are beautiful.
Everything you believe to be
an imperfection for yourself is
realistically perfect.
Each scar, each curve, each feature
of your body makes you who you are.
You might be unhappy with your
nose, but it’s your nose.
Simply changing this could
instantly make you unrecognisable.
You were put in the body that
you’re in for a reason.
That reason was to make you stand
out from everyone else.
You’re unique, and that’s okay.
If we all emobodied this idea of
‘perfection’, the world would be a
pretty boring place.
We’d all be the same.
No character, no creativity, nothing.
You wouldn’t want to be part of
that world, now would you?
So, how are you going to get
on track to live a life of love and
acceptance of yourself?
You need to learn to value time
with yourself, and get to know your
body.
Working on this and building a
relationship with yourself is setting
you on track to acceptance.
You need to start loving yourself
and recognise your own worth.
Let’s start now.
So go ahead, ask yourself now:
what are five things you love about
yourself?
Self help books you
NEED
Women Don’t Owe You
Pretty | Florence Given
The ultimate book to teach you how
to express your individuality as a
woman, challening society’s views on
how women should behave and present
themselves.
She Must Be Mad | Charly
Cox
Exploring the transition from girl-hood
to woman-hood, Cox’s collection of
prose and poetry captures the tough
realities that women in the modern
world face.
by Abigail Beresford
The Evolution of a Girl |
L.E Bowman
Bowman’s collection of poetry takes
readers on journeys through heartbreak
and transformation, exploring the
strength and independence of modern
day women.
l i f e s t y l e
6

7. Gua sha and the
roller
If you’ve found yourself on the beauty side
of social media, more specifically Instagram or
TikTok, you’ll know there’s quite a few trends
floating around, some completely bogus and
some not so much.
One that caught my eye was the gua sha stone.
This is a crystal angled stone, a traditional
Chinese tool used to firmly scrape the skin on
your face to stimulate circulation and to gently
detoxify your lymphatic system.
I tried this method for about two weeks, and
I used a face serum by The Ordinary to try and
make it more of a smooth process.
In the beginning stages, I did actually break
out a little, but after some research I found that
any new facial massage regimen can result in
breakouts, so I continued with the regimen.
I found that using the gua sha and face roller
was something that I would have to do first
thing in the morning, otherwise it wouldn’t
happen, it felt like too much of a chore at
night. Not only does having a morning skin
care help me feel refreshed and energised for
the day, but the gua sha has a cooling effect
which I found helped to de-puff my under
eyes, especially if I hadn’t got much sleep.
I then started focusing more on my jaw and
my neck, applying pressure to tight muscles,
and slowly working it down, with the help of
the serum.The gua sha is shaped to fit into the
structure of your face, making it easier to use.
Although the gua sha can be used anywhere
on your body, I focused on my face and neck,
in an attempt to make the skin around my jaw
appear tighter.
We tend to hold a lot of tension in our jaws
and cheekbones, according to research, so the
gua sha tool definitely helps to relieve some of
that, but also teaches us to be more aware of
how we hold our body.
The results did not seem like a lot, but the
skin is definitely softer and clearer, and overall
I have noticed less tension in the jaw area and
more of a lifted, healthy look.
I will keep the gua sha and face roller as a
part of my morning skincare routine, to not
just continue the beauty regimen to continue
to see the effects, but it also helps distribute
face products more evenly, which I think also
contributes to more soft and clearer looking
skin.
Fiora Flinton gives her opinion on one of the latest beauty ideas, using a gua shua facial
stone, a facial roller and some face serum.
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8. l i f e s t y l e
8
l i f e s t y l e
In 2020, there were 3.6 billion
active social media users
worldwide and it’s predicted
to be 4.41 billion by 2025.The
average user has eight social
media accounts and spends
145 minutes on social media
daily. And by 2021, there were
5.5 million small businesses
within the UK, a number surely
to have increased due to the
pandemic.
Lizzie decided on getting into
digital marketing after studying
business at university, which
she graduated in 2020.
“Digital marketing was just
more appealing, especially given
how we live in the social media
era now.The way we keep up
with new things is through a
screen,” she says.
At university, Lizzie learned
skills that could be applied to
her digital marketing job, but
also outside of the academic
field.
“You have to already know
some analytical and numerical
skills beforehand, that helps
with the job.What could
apply to both is charisma or
persuasiveness, or the ability
to interpret tones through
messages, as obviously it’s
easier to do in real life,” she
says.
Due to the pandemic, Lizzie
decided on freelancing.
Having graduated before
lockdown was announced,
she was eager to look for jobs
right after, however that was
postponed due to Covid-19.
After noticing people within
her friendship group start their
own business endeavours, so
did she.The pandemic saw
the rise of working remotely,
and digital marketing is no
different. Lizzie started her
small business, Digital with Liz,
on the platforms of Instagram
and FaceBook, however is more
active on Instagram.
“I created the page to share my
best tips, tips and to showcase
my skills and knowledge. I also
did it in hope that I could help
other small businesses and
fellow marketers to improve
their online presence,” she says.
The growth of Digital With
Liz meant that Lizzie was able
to land her first marketing job.
She was offered a full time
position for two companies
that she was interested in.The
experience of this has helped
Lizzie a lot, who’s now ready
to delve into the world of
freelancing again.
“My average day consists of
me waking up and checking my
emails; replying back to brands
who may want to work with me,
then I work on content to post
on my pages. However, the perk
of being a freelancer means that
I can decide how my day goes,”
she says.
Lizzie has yet to work with
influencers, but is aware of
how digital marketing and
social media can affect them.
Influencers now edge towards
celebrity status and so when
they mess up, it’s broadcasted
everywhere.
“Within a society that’s driven
around social media, digital
marketing is now gearing
towards online presence.
Brands now have to adapt to
trends and have to do it quickly
as they change fast, and they
have to appear relatable at the
same time.”
“Before, influencers would give
you the idea that you can relate
to them, but now influencing
is a full-time career for them,
they now actually need a team
behind their posts.”
As it’s just Lizzie by herself,
she has to stick to a certain
routine, or else she’ll lose
The Do’s and Don’ts of Digital Marketing
After graduating before the pandemic, 22-year-old Lizzie Butcher was left with no work, and so
set up her own digital marketing business. By Bethany Bailey.

9. l i f e s t y l e
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9
discipline, something that is
required for a job with high
work ethic.
“One of the difficulties is
reading through tone, and
being able to take criticism.
It’s really vital for this job. For
instance, you could be doing
the social media management
for a brand and it doesn’t do as
well, and so the blame partly
goes to you,” she says.
In order to reach a certain
following, a brand must say
what their values are in order to
gain the trust of consumers.
“Brands and companies
obviously want your money
most of all, but in order to
receive that they have to be
shown as trustworthy. A good
social media management team
may be those who are able to
provide aesthetically pleasing
designs for the websites or
posts, or just simply being
able to reply to comments in
a friendly manner. However,
recently humour has become
more appreciated with younger
consumers,” she says.
Lizzie’s area of focus is on
social media, where she works
with brands that may not have a
social media team, or those who
don’t have the time for one.
“For a brand, their social
media has to have a certain
aesthetic, such as the use of
colour and tones. For instance,
various shades of blue are
associated with tranquillity,
trust and friendliness.
It’s usually best to stick
to that colour scheme,
so the rest of the feed
matches,” she says.
Although her main
social media website
is Instagram, she does
occasionally post on
Facebook, or work with
brands that have more
of a reach on there.
“Instagram is easier
if you want to reach
a more ‘overall’
audience, where you
can attract most of the
different categories.
Facebook is not the best for
small businesses, as it’s slowly
reached towards an older
target audience now. But don’t
discourage it, as it will be useful
towards the beginning when
your friends and family can
share and like the page,” she
says.
Small businesses have seen
the most rises from TikTok,
especially with the pandemic.
Posts of small businesses have
gone viral, more specifically
those who post themselves
packaging their orders. It’s
satisfying to watch it all come
together, and will help more
people generate drive for a
website.
“The future of marketing
continues to look this way,
where some websites will
die out and others will rise. I
think more
businesses
will have
to adapt
to TikTok
and do this
quickly, as
this app
specifically
is based on
trends, which
can get old
quickly,” she
says.
As of now, Lizzie is happy
working by herself as a small
business as it’s worked well so
far, especially with a job that is
based on remote working.
“I’m happy and content
with what I’m doing right
now, especially because of the
pandemic. Maybe once we’re
closer to normalcy, I’ll think
of expanding, whether it’s this
time next year or even five
years,” she says.
Digital marketing is a tricky
job that not everyone can
achieve, but the benefits of it
can pay off well.
“Digital marketing is very
beneficial, and that’s what I
found most important. My
advice for those wanting to
start is to stick to a routine
and remain disciplined, it’s not
really a job where you can have
days off. I have no interest in
making loads of money in my
life; I want to be rich in the
ways that matter!”
To see more of Lizzie’s
work visit @digitalwithliz on
Instagram.

10. T
he announcement of a
Netflix film adaptation of
The Seven Husbands of
Evelyn Hugo has annoyed admirers
of the book everywhere. The clue
is in the title itself – how will it fit
seven husbands in just under two
hours, especially when some are
important than others? Warning:
spoilers ahead.
Originally released in 2017,
the book saw more popularity
during the pandemic following the
rise of ‘booktok’, a side of social
media app TikTok that focuses
on books. It follows the life of
Evelyn Hugo, a retired actress,
choosing an unknown journalist
named Monique Grant to help tell
her scandalous life story. Evelyn
dominated tabloids during the
golden age of Hollywood, from her
curvy figure to her infamous love
life, of which includes – dare I need
to say it again – seven husbands. Be
ready to clutch your pearls.
Jenkins Reid’s style of writing
is unique that it reads off like a
script, so already you’re imagining
the inevitable movie adaptation.
Obviously, books are meant to be
imaginative and cinematic, but
reading this means you have the
full series panned out, choosing
cast members and everything.
I hadn’t enjoyed reading for a
while, so I thoroughly appreciated
taking on the role of an executive
producer with this one. Despite the
fan-made rumour of Anya Taylor-
Joy as the protagonist, my personal
choices are either Alexa Demie or
Eiza Gonzales – unoriginal choices
on my behalf, I’ll admit, but that’s
Hollywood for you.
A similar style of writing was
used in Daisy Jones & The Six,
another book of Jenkins Reid that’s
getting its own adaptation. I have
a feeling she and Sally Rooney
may be taking over this new-age
YA genre that’s surfacing, with
successful years to come.
However, with all this being said,
it’s vital to mention that Jenkins
Reid is a straight white woman
writing from the perspective
of both a biracial woman and a
bisexual Cuban woman. Obviously
these are experiences she’ll never
comprehend, and at times, it
shows.
The book has been criticised
for a lack of representation of the
LGBTQ community, and although
personally I can’t relate, it’s
important to note that the majority
of the book takes place from the
50’s to the 70’s. Specifically based
on the love lives of Hollywood
starlets Elizabeth Taylor, Rita
Hayworth and Ava Gardner, it just
wouldn’t have been realistic for
either Evelyn or her on-off partner
Celia to have come out then.
An issue that I took with the
book is that I wished Jenkins Reid
had delved into the sexism and
major misogyny of old Hollywood.
While Evelyn takes pride in her
attractive looks, she’s also aware
that it’s a part of why she gets
booked. It’s just seen as a messy
line to cross, and is brushed off
as something that was part of the
past. In fact, Evelyn is
very nonchalant about
most things, which
doesn’t make her all that
likeable.
Here comes your
warning of a major
spoiler alert – when the
plot twist is mentioned
of Monique’s father
having being involved in
the fatal car crash with
Harry, it then means
that Monique has learnt
not only was her father
gay, but also died as a
result of someone else’s
actions. It felt rushed,
as really it was only just
a slight brief mention,
where it’s only really
discussed in the last
few chapters. It didn’t
take much away from
the story in general,
although this is the reason why
Evelyn had chosen Monique to
write her biography. We would’ve
been fine without, and the two
being separate entities worked, and
does come across as cliché.
Similarly, when the story goes
back to Monique’s personal life, it
just appears as plot filler. She gets
a short chapter dedicated to her
marital problems, before we move
back to Evelyn’s story. It suffers
the same nuance as The Notebook
– although you come to realise the
old couple is Allie and Noah, for
selfish reasons you’d wish it’d go
back to their younger selves.
Despite these issues, Jenkins
Reid gets all the emotions right. I
was crying before I even finished
the book. I was ready to another,
especially those of Jenkins Reid.
If you’ve faced a similar dilemma
where you fell out of love with
reading, then this is the right book
to get you back on track.
4/5
With recent news of its adaption, what does the book get right
and wrong? By Bethany Bailey.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
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11. A
lthough it’s not a
new term (in fact,
it was first used in
1975), I’ll ashamedly admit I
hadn’t heard of ‘the female
gaze’ until I joined TikTok. It’s
a concept used so often in the
film industry without us even
realising it. After watching
endless videos of women sharing
who they thought ‘belonged
to the female gaze’, or were
‘written by women’, I finally got
it. Who knew that app could be
so informative?
As it’s a 47-year-old term
that’s come to light more
recently, it will be continued to
be studied indefinitely and I,
for one, will be keeping check
– mostly through Twitter and
TikTok, but nonetheless keeping
up. It’s clearly something we
need to understand through
visual means, so get ready for a
stack of pop culture references.
The world is still male-
dominated and so our lens
could still be steered by that.
For decades, the female gaze
was force-fed a toxic and hetero-
normative view of what they
should be attracted to – think
any James Bond (to me they’re
all the same), footballers or any
superhero predating Robert
Downey Jr’s Iron Man.
Nowadays, the female gaze
has shifted to
a phase that I
could only title
“Is He Pretty
Looking Or Does
He Just Have
Curly Hair?”
They’re skinny.
Their eyes are
either the colour
of all the oceans
combined or
brown. They’re funny, but
not offensive. They’re not
afraid to have emotions -
sounds too good to be true,
right? If the first person you
thought of was Timothee
Chalamet, I’m glad I’ve done
my job.
Looks aren’t entirely at
the forefront anymore, but
instead what matters is
humour and intelligence.
Characters like Jake Perelta
(Brooklyn 99), Winston
Schmidt (New Girl), or even
Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy
are just the names you might
see in discussions like this.
The admirer isn’t objectifying
in their point of view, which
is often the case with the
male gaze.
It raises a question for
those who actually are
attracted to the norm.
Think the cast of Marvel – men
have put to the forefront that
it’s rugged looks or muscles
that appeals, but now its
personalities. Also think of their
counterparts – think Loki, not
Thor.
All of this is easier said than
done, as the female gaze isn’t
fully taken advantage of. Look
at the Love Island cast – every
single year, producers hire
islanders that look the same
as the year before, and so on,
and all fall under conventional
attraction. Obviously, this idea
of attraction still does exist and
really, it’s just subjective. If you
like convention, or if you’re not
into the norm, then that’s simply
just fine. That’s the beauty of
being a woman in today’s society
– we’re comfortable with the
choices we make, no matter
what we desire.
The Female Gaze: Taking Control of the Narrative
A term from 1975 has met a resurgence thanks to TikTok... By Bethany Bailey
11
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12. Grown.ish
Shantelle Gondo reviews the new Grown-ish series, a spin-off of the series Black-ish by Kenya
Barris.
From Black-ish to Grown-
ish, kids really do grow
up fast huh!
Zoey Johnson is finally off
to college. I remember binge
watching the 7 seasons of
Black-ish in probably less
than a month. I’m currently
finishing off Grown-ish, it’s
very addictive I won’t lie.
It basically continues from
Black-ish, except this time
Zoey Johnson played by
Yara Shahidi – probably my
favourite actress right now
- is no longer the small girl
from the series Black-ish,
she’s all grown now and starts
a new life at college in Cal
U (California University of
Liberal Arts).
The series Grown-ish is
based on the idea of how
teenagers grow up and how
life changes, from living
with parents – to being
alone, starting to provide for
yourselves, paying your own
rent and all sorts. I mean I can
definitely relate from my first
year in uni.
I love how real life the
series is, in Season one,
Zoey experienced all kind of
things, from real friends, fake
friends, sex, parties, drugs
e.t.c. Although she did end up
meeting the right friends that
anyone would want around.
Honestly, I don’t think
I’ve ever watched a series
so relatable, although I do
feel sorry for Zoey, she’s
confused, and I mean really
confused she technically had
three boyfriends at the same
time –four including the hot
basketball player, who the
whole college was basically in
love with, and probably the
viewers too.
But what I like about Zoey’s
character is that although
she’s very self-centred, she
realises when she’s done
something wrong and for
sure she’s a great friend. So
from season one to two, we
see a drastic change in Zoey’s
personality, she really does
try to become a better person
– especially now that she
has a boyfriend, Luka, one
boyfriend this time!
She’s a supportive girlfriend
towards him, although
sometimes he doesn’t really
show too much emotion
towards her. I love how the
director, Kenya Barris, carries
on to show Zoey’s cultural
background throughout the
series, while encouraging and
announcing black history,
which to be honest is the
main idea in both series –
Black-ish and Grown-ish from
beginning to end.
I honestly loved this series,
and I would watch it over and
over again, I would definitely
recommend and rate it a good
nine out of ten.
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13. A
fantastic true crime, tinder-based documentary
from start to beginning, although it did make
me wonder whether us women were this
vulnerable. From love to fraud – this world gets scarier
everyday.
The documentary starts off calmly, a woman ( Cecilie
Fjellhoy) scrolling through her tinder account and
matches with this rich man, Simon Leviev, who she’s
yet to find out he’s an Israeli conman involved in theft,
forgery and fraud.
At first, I thought ‘how can this woman be so foolish’,
falling in love with a stranger that quickly, but the
more I watched the documentary, I realised women
can be very vulnerable.
Although, the first few weeks Cecilie enjoyed herself
to the fullest with him - going on expensive dates and
travelling to different places with Simon. Until later on
finding out that ‘he’s enemies were after him’. Must of
been scary for the girl, but he took it too far by asking
her to loan over $200,000 for him – that is a lot of
money!
At this point I was scared for her, because I knew she
wasn’t going to get any of this money back – it’s scary
really how women can fall for someone and trust them
that quickly, only to find out their true intentions.
After watching this first part, I thought it was over,
but that was only the beginning. Simon moved on to
the next victim, although they were just friends, he was
using all the money Cecillie had loaned out for him
to run away on this new woman ( Pernilla Sjoholm) –
imagine that!
But the more I watched it, the more I felt sorry for
them and understood that they didn’t know what they
had gotten themselves into.
This was one of the best documentaries I’ve ever
watched by far and has made me very aware about the
people around me and true intentions.
The Tinder Swindler
By Shantelle Gondo
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14. ‘At that point it was normal for me to
walk through the house like that.’
Two women a week are killed by their partners. One in five will suffer from domestic violence.
This is Rose Thompson’s* story. By Bethany Bailey.
Now 53, Rose was
40-years-old when the
relationship began, of which
would last for five years.
“He had the starting
elements of a classic
sociopath – he was engaging
and could command the
room and everyone would
listen,” she says.
Rose recalls that he was
never physical with her,
however would gaslight her
a lot, and so for the last two
years of the relationship, she
wanted to end it.
“I knew there was going
to be a “thing”, but I didn’t
know what it would be,” she
says.
Shortly after ending their
relationship, Rose went to
a friend’s house when she
had got a call from the fire
brigade.They informed her
that her ex-partner had tried
to burn her house down
by leaving chip fat on the
stove. Not long after, she got
another call, this time from
the insurance company.
“He had removed the
stairs, floors, the joints and
chopped it into pieces and
threw it in the back garden.
So you’d try and walk down,
only to land on a piece of
earth,” she says.
Other damages he had
caused were super glueing
the locks and ripping off the
gas metres. She called the
police, who didn’t go that
day, as they had just thought
it was only a ‘domestic’. Her
ex-partner would also try to
go over to her friend’s house
where she was staying to
threaten her more.
Eventually, he did get
arrested, but was on remand
and briefly released due to
being a ‘model prisoner’.
However, he continued to
follow and phone Rose.
He didn’t want a lawyer,
and instead asked to cross
examine her. Fortunately
for Rose, she
had a witness
and was able to
give evidence
remotely.
“It was the most
horrendous
day – it became
clear that police
were on his
side. It felt very
disempowering –
women are rarely listened to
when it comes to telling their
tale,” she says.
Outside of the case, the
insurance had told her that
they couldn’t pay, as it was
a member of the house who
had done the damage, despite
it being hers. She had eight
cats that were dropping into
soil, but couldn’t afford to
take them to the cattery. Her
neighbours also bought a
camera, as his friends had
also started to go over to the
house. Rose then continued
to stay within another
friend’s house.
“I remember staying in this
one room with a box in the
corner, as that’s all I had,”
she says.
Having lived in a bail hostel
near the house and nine
months into remand, her
ex-partner was sentenced
to only two-and-a-half years
in prison. His charges were
arson with intent to kill and
criminal damages.
“They hadn’t checked if he
had a record. It turns out he
had done the same to his first
wife in another county,” she
says.
A month after the court
case, the insurance company
decided that they in fact
would pay. Rose decided to
sell the house to look for
somewhere rural, as she
l i f e s t y l e
14

15. knew once his sentence was
over, he’d come looking for
her.
“I had lived in that
beautiful Victorian terraced
house for 10 years and it
became soul-destroying.The
whole kitchen had become
black from the oil, so I had
to use my phone’s torch as
a light to navigate through,”
she says.
Rose didn’t show the house
to her parents, but did to
her brother, who was visiting
from Canada. It wasn’t until
he got emotional that she
realised how devastating the
event was.
“At that point it was normal
for me to walk through the
house like that.”
“I had a constant fear that
he and his friends would find
me and do something worse.
I’d walk around and already
pre-dial 999, and then would
do the same as soon as I got
in the car. He drove a Harley
Davidson and the sight of
one made me go cold.”
“The DV [domestic violence]
system was also hard. I don’t
think they were used to
seeing someone angry.”
The insurance came out
to £160,000. One of the
first things she used with
the money was to visit a
psychotherapist.
“I had to get something out
of it – I took a look at myself
and thought “why did I think
I deserve a relationship as
bad as it was”. I was told to
change my value and self
worth into becoming selfish
with a small s.This type
of relationship had been
bubbling since I was in my
teens,” she says.
Another thing she used
with the insurance money
was a six-week trip travelling
– she visited her brother in
Canada, friends in Las Vegas,
as well as visiting Hong Kong
and New Zealand.
“I was sitting in a bistro out
in New Zealand, and it was
exactly 2 years since the fire,
but I was having the amazing
time of my life,” she says.
One day at work, Rose was
shown a notice that had been
through the newspaper. Her
ex-partner had died in a
motorcycle crash.
“If he hadn’t died I’d
still be in a happier place,
but I was so relieved.The
emotional pain was just so
overwhelming,” she says.
What Rose has been able to
value the most is friendship.
Her friends had supported
and stuck by her throughout,
whether it be letting her live
with them or just listening.
“You don’t need anything
but your friends in life,” she
says.
The most positive
thing to come out of this
heartbreaking experience for
Rose: new love.When her
house was being fixed and
re-built ready to be sold, she
met and fell in love with one
of the builders.They’ve been
married for 12 years, have two
dogs and now reside in the
countryside.
“All the things in life lead
you to where you are now.”
*name has been changed
for anonymity
Helplines:
Refuge at 0808 2000 247
Victim Support at 0808 1689
111
Southall Black Sisters at 020
8571 9595
Aanchal Women’s Aid at
0808 0124 924
Hourglass at 0808 808 8141
l i f e s t y l e
15

16. There’s a certain reason
some people try to forget
their childhood.That girls
block out relationships, and
try to rearrange their lives to
ignore certain memories. One
reason that hits home to all
who hear it.
Abuse.
It’s a fickle word, with not
everyone knowing that there
are different types of it, and
that they could be undergoing
abuse without realising.
Others jump the gun a bit and
tell someone that there are
red flags about someone that
realistically aren’t there.
I have experienced all kinds
of abuse. Not as severe as
others have, but it’s enough.
I’m a survivor.
For those like me, those
who have survived things you
wouldn’t dream of telling
anyone, those who have been
put in situations you couldn’t
talk about to anyone but a
licensed psychiatrist, I have
some advice.
Speak out.
The more people speak out
about this, the bigger the issue
becomes and the more likely
people are to listen. It can’t get
to points like the #MeToo era
and the Sarah Everard crisis
where only then people speak
up and tell their story.
Obviously, there’s no
pressure to do it, but even
telling a friend or someone
you care about that this is
what you’re experiencing is
good for the soul. It’s good
to talk to someone about it,
to explain why you’re not
feeling so great, not wanting
to go outside and socialise.
I only wish I did this when
I was going through these
experiences, but now I’m on
the other side? I can tell my
story and say proudly that I
got through it all in one piece.
Call a crisis line if you need
it.
There are crisis lines for
all kinds of abuse out there.
If you don’t want to call the
police about what happened
to you but you still want to
talk to someone, you can
count on a crisis line to talk
to you about it and they will
only tell the police if you wish
to go down that road. People
working the lines are very
supportive and will help you
as much as you need it or want
it.
Call the police.
Again, there is no pressure
to do this. But the police will
launch an investigation into
what happened, and you are
in charge at all times. If you
wish half way through not to
continue with what the police
are doing, you can tell them
this and the investigation will
stop.You are in control of
what happened and only you
can advise them on whether or
not you wish to continue with
it all.
Make sure you have a good
support system in place.
A good support system of
friends and family is the best
thing to do. All the things you
go through will be easier with
a good support system. My
mum and the few friends who
knew about my experiences
were great at supporting
me throughout everything.
Honestly, I probably would
have struggled a lot more
without them being around.
Even if it’s the bare minimum
of making you smile by joking
around, it helps. Probably a lot
more than people know.
Samaritans: 116 123
Rape Crisis England &
Wales: 0808 802 9999
(open between 12-2.30pm
and 7-9.30pm every day of
the year)
Freephone National
Domestic Abuse Helpline:
0808 2000 247
Dealing with abuse -
tips and places to go for
help
By Kira Gibson
16
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17. In episode 17 of ‘What Is This Behaviour?’,
co-hosts Reuben Christian, Almass Badat
and Aaron Christian discuss interracial dating
amongst South Asian communities.
Describing their podcast as “going against
the grain” the trio explore various taboo
topics, specifically amongst the South Asian
community.
There are so many topics that I feel as a young
British South Asian female that are supposed
to be kept to yourself or even not explored at
all. And so, venturing into these aspects of life
can often feel alienating, especially with having
little to no members of the community who
would be comfortable discussing these topics.
The podcast is essentially a platform for
people like me to hear stories from people
like me, and to gain a sense of togetherness
amongst the tangled identity of modern
second-gen British South Asians.
I’ve found this podcast in particular to be very
relatable to my experiences as a South Asian
female growing up in London, and have found
I was not alone in many of my experiences –
which are in fact far more common for those of
a similar background.
In this episode, Almass draws on personal
experiences of interracial dating during
secondary school and college, which was
actually a very similar experience to mine. She
starts by saying that her being in interracial
couples “wasn’t a conscious thing” which I
feel also resonates with me as we both went
to schools that were predominantly Black and
describes “being the only different one in a
friendship circle of black friends”.
The idea that acknowledging a difference in
culture is brought up by the podcast members
but it is proved that this is not a defining point
in interracial relationships.
Feeling a distance from “Asianness” is also
brought up and discussed in detail, which I felt
was refreshing as well as entertaining to hear.
The podcast not only raises so many
questions about myself that I hadn’t even
considered, but does somehow answer
them too, obviously open to individual
interpretation, but the issues are answered
from 3 different viewpoints, all of which
coheres with my own standpoint.
To explore and understand different aspects
of British South Asian identity, especially those
from raised in diverse cities, I would definitely
recommend this podcast. It goes from making
you laugh, to teaching new concepts, exploring
hybrid identities, questioning your own beliefs,
educating yourself on concepts to welcoming
you into an all too familiar community.
This podcast is sure to make you feel at home
in a community you once felt out of place in.
Fiora Flinton writes her opinions after listening to the postcast “What is this
behaviour?”
17
l i f e s t y l e

18. An evening full of joy, turned into a night
of tears and terror for Sharon Umuhoza.
The 21 year old from Leicester had gone to
a bible study with her friend, and on the way
home was chased by her stalker.
“But this isn’t where it all began,” says Sharon
A few months before, the middle aged man
had been following her in town and pressured
her to give her social media to him.
“I refused because he was very forceful,” she
says.
“The following week everything was normal,
until one evening he turned up to my
workplace shouting aggressively at me for
absolutely no reason.”
“The managers tried to get involved but
weren’t too aware of what was going on, until I
explained the situation.”
But for Sharon things only got worse, not only
for her but her friends also.The man who had
been stalking Sharon started appearing almost
everywhere she would be with her friends.
“It was as if he knew me so well, or as if he
was a ghost that just appears everywhere, this
really frightened me because I didn’t know
what this man could be capable of.
“Every time I would see him, he would either
shout at me or my friend and threaten us with
what he would do to us next time he sees us,”
she adds.
Any girl in this situation would be terrified,
especially being so far from home and just the
fear creeping in that anything could happen.
“Things started to get serious, so I informed
the police as my workplace could only do so
much to help,” Sharon mentions.
“As the police collected all the information
and evidence that they needed, this case then
began and they were in search of the man.
“The following few weeks were very difficult
as he would just randomly come to my work
place shouting and taking videos of me.”
When the man found out the police were
looking for him, he became more aggressive.
“One of the days, my friend had just been
coming from the library in the late evening,
when they crossed paths and he chased her.
“She felt so terrified that she had to hide
behind a pub’s security guards, it was difficult
for us to even come out of the house during
the day and especially at night,” she says.
One Wednesday evening, the man went to
Sharon’s workplace shouting and threatening
her and her friend, but he wasn’t aware the
police were a few seconds away.
“When he saw a police officer he tried to
run out, but was soon caught around a dark
alleyway.”
The man was then arrested for stalking,
although his time was reduced due to good
behaviour.
“I felt at peace, but it wasn’t too long until he
got out,” says Sharon.
When the man came out he had a restriction
order placed. But this never stopped him
approaching my friends.
“Most girls go through this and choose to
keep quiet or aren’t listened to, but these
things are serious and girls can be vulnerable
at times,” she says.
Sharon advises not just women but to
everyone to stay safe out there and to stand
your ground as anything can happen and it can
be scary, but it’s always good to have people
that care for you.
As a university student , Sharon Umuhoza, 21, speaks to Shantelle Gondo about her university
stalker experience.
Stalked in uni: ‘He chased
my friend in the dark’
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18

19. l i f e s t y l e
19

20. Make room for
me
Being a South Asian and growing up in a
Westernised society plays a strong part in
not only shaping identity but determining the
routes you go down later on in life.
Bhavin Bhadresa, from London and of Indian
heritage, despite always following a creative
path, started up his graphic design company
Śu Chē Design, selling Indian inspired Pop Art
prints in 2019.
Part of the inspiration for dedicating a whole
company to a specific audience came from
wanting to create something to give a voice to a
part of society that has little to no commercial
representation.
“You can walk into IKEA or a department
store and you can buy prints of places from
around the world, but you won’t have South
Asian or Indian prints, and if you did want
something like that, you have to really seek it
out.”
Bhavin goes on to explain the other half of the
inspiration for the company: “I had a trip to
India, Mumbai in 2018, and there’s a shop there
called Kulture Shock.The shop celebrates the
work of South Asian graphic artists only. Not
only was the work outstanding but just the fact
that somebody had dedicated a whole company
to celebrating one artform from one social
group – that was a turning point for me.”
A hybrid identity is something that varies
from person to person, each individual’s
approach of retaining their ancestral culture
whilst conforming to their host country’s
culture is also different, and could be held at
different ranges of value.
Bhavin makes the point that: “when people
move from the motherland to westernised
societies, culture can get watered down,
which is not necessarily a negative thing, as
it’s natural to adapt to new cultures to make
room for new identities, but things can get
forgotten, and one of those things in language
and language is one of the signifies of second
or third generation individuals.”
Śu Chē Design incorporates various Indian
languages in the form of catchphrases or
relatable quotes with the graphic images. “A lot
of my artwork is celebrating language in a way
that captures and preserves it for generations
to come. I’m not going to pretend that the
artwork is deep and meaningful but what I’m
hoping will happen is that this work will live
way beyond me.”
Bhavin’s aim with his artwork is firm on
resonating with people: “If it reminds people
of home, people that aren’t here anymore or
bits of their culture they had forgotten – that’s
really important to me, and it’s funny too, I
speak Gujarati, but just from growing up in
London you end up understanding a bit of
Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu but the artwork
is heavily inspired by Gujarati language an
terminology that I’ve grown up hearing.”
Although there are numerous other languages
Creative media production teacher Bhavin Bhadresa speaks to Fiora Flinton about his
venture into the graphic design industry – aiming to celebrate and preserve South Asian
culture, and his experiences as a creative South Asian.
l i f e s t y l e
20

21. in India, Bhavin makes the point of being
careful not to make work for a language that he
doesn’t understand, as the goal is of course to
maintain integrity.
There are still however barriers formed
against second or third generation South
Asians, not only from issues of a white
dominant industry, but from ideologies that
first generation immigrants put forward.
“There are still expectations of young South
Asians, to go down specific career paths where
there’s going to be money – money is the
real motivator and as I’m older, I understand
where that comes from, you have to consider
the immigrant journey, their generation made
so many sacrifices just so that their children
would succeed which is a very noble thing to
do.”
But for changes to be made in terms of
representation of South Asians in creative
spaces “the children of the next generation
need to be given the freedom and confidence
to do whatever they want, because if not, we
are always going to be playing catch up.”
Whilst it is important to have more
representation in creative and media
industries, it shouldn’t be just to make up
numbers, but to put a spotlight onto those
with talent and deserve to be recognised and
celebrated for their talent.
“It needs to be recognised that what we have
to say is equally as important as anybody else
which in turn creates more platforms for voices
to be heard.”
Bhavin adds that young South Asians wanting
to break into the creative industry should find
a suitable mentor that they relate to, and can
give their opinions based on their experience.
“From my students point of view there are
still many barriers, mostly because of white
dominant grouping and a disproportionate
amount of people of colour.
“But the new generation should walk around
with a sense of entitlement, in the sense that
you were born here, brought up here, educated
here, so you should have the same rights
as anybody else, especially considering the
fact that South Asians can offer a different
perspective, typically marginalised, to an
otherwise singular or dominant voice.”
l i f e s t y l e
21

22. 22
Either British or Asian,
not British Asian
The socially awkward, geeky friend with a funny accent.
Growing up as a second generation British South Asian
in the 2000s meant that this was the closest representation I
saw of myself on TV.
But what role does the British media play in this
misrepresentation and overall attitudes towards South Asians?
I looked at some of the stats from the 2011 Census and saw
that South Asians are the largest minority ethnic group in the
UK, but Ofcom’s 2018 report on ethnic diversity in primetime
programming showed that South Asians were the least
represented in British media.
Of course, we have come a long way since the 70s and there
has been more representation over the past few decades,
after an increase in immigration. My father moved to the UK
in 1976, just 7 years after the rise and fall of ITV’s Curry and
Chips.This sitcom starred a blacked up Spike Milligan who
was nicknamed ‘P*ki Paddy’.The caricature character aimed
to highlight racism within Britain rather than encourage
it.This was of course, very short lived – cancelled after six
episodes for the use of crude racial abuse. My father recalls
the treatment of Asians shown on the sitcom being a parody
of reality and just having to bear with it in social settings and
the workplace.
My mother joined my father in the UK in 1987 and they
lived in the East End of London, so naturally they watched
EastEnders.
The first Asian EastEnders character appeared in 1985,
right when EastEnders actually started. Shreela Ghosh
played Naima Jeffrey, who was forced to live in an arranged
marriage. My parents recall this representation being heavily
stereotyped and resulting in a negative and generalised view
of Asian culture. Ghosh’s whole character centered around
her struggles as a second generation British Asian woman
living in the Eastend. Although this portrayal may have been
somewhat accurate to British Asian women at the time, this
struggle was very specific to religion and upbringing, which
differs all over Asia. Many other British Asians on the soap
opera had pretty much identical backstories and character
descriptions further along the line, perhaps to mainly
entertain a White British audience to maintain the idea of
otherness of immigrants. It reinforced the idea that Asian
culture did not pair with British culture.
The influence of 90s Hollywood brought about the nerdy,
awkward perception of South Asians which was then
mirrored in British media and continued into the 2000s.
A perfect example of this would be Raj from The Big Bang
Theory. Evidently, the male characters are all ‘nerdy’ but Raj
has a thick accent and is the least successful when it comes
to women – which adds to the stereotype of Asians being
undesirable and their overall presence being ridiculed.
I grew up in a very diverse area, so I often saw people who
looked like me, who obviously didn’t fit into the stereotypes
I saw on TV, which did essentially put me in a bubble of
security as opposed to Asians that might have grown up in a
predominantly white area. But I always wondered why if we all
looked so different and our personalities differed so much –
why was there only one shared representation of us?
Regardless of who I was and how I was perceived in my
own circle, from British media, it was instilled in me from a
young age that I would always be seen as an Asian first and a
female second, constantly in a battle to be noticed, conform
to beauty standards and to keep up a British Asian identity
which was constantly being chipped away at because of media
representations.
British Asian females in particular both first and second
generation are often stereotyped as submissive, meek and
disadvantaged like other POC, portrayed as the nerdy best
friend and never the love interest. For example, Ellen from
Angus,Thongs and Perfect Snogging – one of my favourite
tween rom-coms as a child. She is portrayed as the least
experienced in the friend group and does come off as slightly
annoying, again to perhaps entertain a predominantly white
audience. As a child, this was slightly embarrassing to be
represented like this and resulted in aspiring to conform to
white beauty standards to avoid ridicule.
In British reality TV, Love Island – one of the UK’s highest
grossing dating shows that aired in 2015 is known for featuring
attractive people. Aside from Malin Andersson in 2016,
Nabila Badda in 2019, and Nas Majeed in 2020, there have
been very few Asian men and women to enter the villa out
of the hundreds of contestants.With Love Island setting the
standards for idealised beauty, where does it leave women that
look like me?
British media over the years have progressed in terms of
representation but the representation of British Asians
remains distorted. In reality, those who were born and bred in
Britain feel just as British as their white British counterparts
as with their own heritage - creating a fusion of both cultures
rather than being strictly one or the other.
Essentially, South Asians in general have far more to
offer than being restricted to this generational stereotype,
which still divides what it means to be British and Asian.
So, British media not only needs more diverse South Asian
representation but definitely a more authentic stance.
By Fiora Flinton
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23. s e x
23
Time to normalise
female masturbation
by Abigail Beresford
S
ex education was always a recipe for disaster. Images
of penises and vaginas appearing on the whiteboard
would trigger a wave of red faces, and insatiable cries of
laughter, to blur out the awkwardness.
Consensual sex, STIs, and masturbation.
Behaviours changed slightly once we started discussing
masturbation. People’s faces scrunched up at the idea of
female masturbation. A conversation that was meant to make
us all feel comfortable in ourselves, allowed girls to build up a
barrier due to societal views.
If it were found out that a girl was masturbating, they would
be ridiculed with this for the rest of their school life.
One girl was branded the name ‘fish fingers’ all throughout
secondary school, when people found out that she
masturbated in Year 8.
It’s moments like these that scarred my own exploration with
my own body.
Admittedly enough, still to this day, I have not entered any
sex shop.
It fills me with anxiety the thought of walking into ‘Ann
Summers’, browsing the wide varieties of sex toys they have to
offer, with the staff knowing what I’m going home to do.Then,
walking around with a carrier bag, with passing-by people
knowing the same thing.
It’s as if we all know a ‘dirty’, little secret.
There is a particular emphasis on the word ‘dirty’. A word
that female masturbation is typically associated with, alongside
brands of it being ‘nymphatic’ and ‘whore-like’ – a complete
contrast to how male masturbation is seen in the eyes of
patriarchal society.
Male masturbation can be discussed openly in day-to-day life,
with no judgement coming from it. Competitions of who can
masturbate the most in one day being the decider of who is the
alpha male within their group of friends.
This is living proof that masturbation can be normalised, but
in the current age that we live in, this is only applicable for
men.
However, in this current age, we are seeing a movement
to a new sex-positive way of living.Supermarkets, including
Sainsbury’s,Tesco, and Asda, started selling vibrators in
discreet packaging in their health departments back in 2018.
The packages are small enough to hide amongst the rest of
your shopping, a way to make you feel more comfortable when
buying a sex toy.
Supermarkets are known for essential products, so making
these items readily available to shoppers has given the green
light to ensure that it’s okay to masturbate.
This was the step forward that was necessary in eradicating
the taboo of the subject.
Discrete packaging has proved to be a way of moving forward.
If we want to keep something private, we have every right of
proceeding in that way.
According to beauty retailer, Cult Beauty, sales have boosted
by 61 per cent on their online store in the past year, thanks
again to their discreet packaging.
Young women are beginning to be eased into allowing
themselves to a world of pleasure, whether that be buying a
sex toy in a private online or running down to their local Ann
Summers.
They are finally escaping from the traumas of childish
behaviour of young boys and exploring the beauties of the
female body.
When I was younger, a spotlight was being cast on something
that happens in private, which was ironically put in centre
stage as a target for hate.
But the reality is, we all enjoy these things behind closed
doors.We all have our different turn on’s and kinks in sexual
relationships with our partners.
Surely, this could be applicable to our own sexual
relationship with ourselves? A way to love ourselves, before
loving anybody else.

24. Awoman, stereotypically
is “supposed” to be able
to please her man whenever
he wishes. At least that’s what
I thought when I was growing
up. My dad was a strong
believer of a woman who
belongs in the kitchen, taking
care of the kids and cleaning
up and it took my mum telling
me that wasn’t right and
wasn’t supposed to be like that
for me to learn otherwise.
So, when I couldn’t havsex
without pain, I shut up
because I was embarrassed,
I thought that it was normal
(I’d never had sex before) and
I didn’t want to disappoint
the guy. But in all reality, it
shouldn’t be like that. After
a little while and a few times
of the pain not stopping,
I told the guy cause I was
crying each time. I was so
embarrassed and I wanted to
be able to do things normally,
but I just couldn’t.
He assured me that
everything was okay, and told
me to go to the doctors, my
best friends also seconding
this opinion of needing to go
to the doctors if it hurt.
Thankfully, the doctor
spoke to me and asked me
if I had heard of a condition
called vaginismus – which
I had heard thrown around
before when I had been to
see doctors about possible
endometriosis and polycystic
ovarian syndrome.
The NHS website defines
vaginismus as “the body’s
automatic reaction to the fear
of some or all types of vaginal
penetration.” But it can be
so much more than this.You
won’t always know what the
cause of the problem is, and
sometimes it can be very hard
to figure out.
The vaginal muscles contract
involuntarily and forcing them
open for whatever reason
(sex, vaginal examinations in
doctor’s offices or hospitals,
tampons etc) can hurt quite
a bit. Obviously, there are
differing levels of pain, and
every person is different. One
person might still be able to
have sex with this pain, but
someone else can’t even think
about sex without pain.
For me, I can try, succeed
and do things with my
boyfriend but still end up
crying or hurting for hours
afterwards. But other times
I can’t even think about it
without hurting, or telling
him to stop cause it hurts. I
feel awful telling him that he’s
hurting me, and he gets upset
but sometimes it’s the right
thing to do.
You never want to be
responsible for causing
someone pain, or for upsetting
someone, but it’s the right
thing to do.
For a while, me and him
stopped having sex because
it caused too much pain. But
when even trying to do other
things caused me pain, neither
of us could take it, and we
broke up for a while.
However, I am not alone in
this situation. Many others
in relationships have similar
problems, and it causes
problems as this condition can
appear out of the blue, even
if you didn’t have problems
beforehand and could easily
have sex.
I call it the relationship killer
because so many like me have
split up from their partners
because they just couldn’t
bear the pain of having sex,
and couldn’t keep up a healthy
sexual relationship.
But sex isn’t the only thing
which can trigger emotional
responses which can cause
pain with this condition.
Doctors can unwittingly set
this off too.
I experienced talking to
a doctor once who refused
to believe I had it that bad
and wanted to keep doing
the examination, despite
me crying in pain, telling
her I couldn’t have it done
because of pain levels.This
doctor kept trying to force
this examination on me, kept
telling me to try.The word NO
came in very useful that day.
Vaginismus: the secret
relationship killer
By Kira Gibson
s e x
24

25. Sophie Tea
Art Gallery
R
ooms and rooms full of bright colours, , and
boobs - it was a body positive sanctuary.
With it’s bright pink exterior, it is very difficult
to miss in the hustle and bustle of the Carnaby streets.
The Sophie Tea Art Gallery, London, exhibits the work of
viral Instagram artist, Sophie Tea, who aims to empower
women through her body positive work.
Women and young girls were walking around pointing
at the neon nudes, with smiles painted on their faces,
saying “that body is like mine!”.
The Instagrammable interiors encourage visitors to you
to document their time, and capture moments love for
the art and all bodies.
Sophie’s excentric creations not only aim to empower
women, but also has the mission to take people’s ‘artistic
virginities’, introducing them to the world of art.
The exhibit is not only filled with bright, beautiful
bodies, but it is also filled with abstract pieces, and love
hearts with secret messages - art that is able to appeal to
all.
s e x
Rooms and rooms
full of boobs Visitors not only have the opportunity to explore the
creative mind of Sophie Tea, but to also watch her crea-
tions come to life in front of them.
If you find a piece you particularly fall in love with, the
pieces are available to purchase for those , with payment
plans also available, with Tea’s hope to make art accessi-
ble for all!
Visit the exhibition today, for the love of art and your-
self!
by Abigail Beresford
25

26. Claire and her boyfriend had
mutual friends, but started
talking through social media.
The two were into EDM and
the rave scene, where they’d go
to the same events but never
crossed paths.
“I saw he was going to an event
in Birmingham and thought
he was someone I’d physically
go for, so I dropped him a
message saying ‘you could buy
me a drink and I’ll see you
there’.Then we spoke every day
leading up the event.We could
literally talk about everything
and anything,” she says.
Two weeks before the event,
Claire met Mike, something she
was nervous about, as he was
still a stranger. However, their
connection was instant and felt
like they’d known each other
for years. As she used to live in
Melton Mowbray, she’d drive for
two-and-a-half hours every two
weeks, until they became official
after 6 months. After being long-
distance for three years, Claire
moved to Ludlow two years ago
and the two have been together
for just over five years.
“Honestly, I never really
contemplated having children
before I met Mike, as with
previous relationships I couldn’t
see it going the distance. I knew
I had to be 100% committed.”
Two years into their relationship,
Claire was 34 and Mike was 37,
and so they knew it was a now
or never situation, as the two felt
like they didn’t want to be old
parents,” she says.
Due to her age, Claire was told
her only option was IVF, which
according to the NHS only has
a 32% chance of success for
women under the age of 35.
“I just felt lucky to have had
the opportunity to have IVF on
the NHS. I did the research and
saw it came with risks,
but it was the only
option we had and I
was all for it,” she says.
For the IVF to work
the first round, Claire
cut out caffeine and
alcohol and ate as
healthy as possible.
Luckily for them, it
worked the first time!
However, Claire became
pregnant at the end
of 2020, and due to
the pandemic, fathers
couldn’t be present for
the childbirth, unless
privately scheduled.
“I was only scared if
Mike wasn’t able to be at the
hospital when giving birth, but
luckily he was allowed to be
there throughout the duration
and the day after. I’ll be forever
thankful for that, as I couldn’t
imagine what it would have
been like if I had to do it on my
own,” she says.
Although Mike was allowed
to be present throughout,
many other milestones that
would normally be celebrated
alongside family were missed
out on. Claire wanted a gender
reveal and a baby shower, but
was unable due to the UK going
into another lockdown in 2021.
“I loved being pregnant so
much; I was lucky that I got no
sickness whatsoever.The last
couple of months were tricky,
especially when I couldn’t see
my family. I got severe heartburn
and dizziness, too,” she says.
Claire’s pregnancy had come
to an end in April 2021, where
she gave birth to her daughter,
Savannah, after a painful
labour. Claire was one week
past her due date, and so her
midwife suggested a ‘sweep’ – a
procedure done by midwives
that is used to start contractions.
The day after, her water broke
and her contractions were 30
minutes apart, but by morning
they’d stopped. After unbearable
pain throughout the night,
Claire had to go to hospital to
be induced and stop infection
from setting in.
“I wanted my labour to be as
natural as possible, so I actually
didn’t want to be induced. I was
First Time Lucky
IVF only has a 30 per cent chance of success of working the first time, and 36-year-old Claire
Davie speaks of her own experience. By Bethany Bailey.
s e x
26

27. put on a drip and that’s when
contractions came thick and fast.
I wanted to still have a water
birth, but after five hours the
contractions were 10 seconds
apart and I was barely dilated. I
was really struggling as I didn’t
know how much longer I could
stand the constant pain,” she
says.
Claire then opted for an
epidural, which worked after
three attempts.The pain from
her lower stomach had gone to
her back, but it was bearable
enough for her to sleep after not
having any for 30 hours.When
she woke up, the epidural had
slowed down her dilation even
more, and had only dilated one
centimetre every two hours.
“When I got to the pushing
phase, I was so shattered.
Trying to push a baby out when
you’re numb and beyond tired
is so difficult, but luckily her
heart rate stayed consistent
throughout the whole labour
and delivery, so that gave me
extra time to push,” she says.
Then became a complication
where her baby started twisting
and her shoulder
had caused a 4th
degree tear – the
most extreme you
can get in labour.
With forceps, her
baby was delivered,
and Claire was given
an injection in order
to get the placenta
out before heading to
surgery for stitches.
Claire had lost over
half her blood and
was suggested a
blood transfusion,
but instead was given
a C section.
“I was heartbroken
that I couldn’t hold
my baby straight
away. I was so numb
to everything after, and just felt
drained. I wanted to hold her
as soon as possible, but I also
wanted to go back to sleep,” she
says.
Claire knew she’d be able
to bounce back, of which she
thanks her optimistic look on
life for that. She had finally had
her baby and that was the most
important thing for
her, but she knew
it wouldn’t be easy
during a pandemic.
“After what
happened, I really
wanted to see my
mum and dad and
just hold them as
tight as I could.
Them not being able
to visit Savannah
was hard, but I was
happy to be with her
as much as possible.
It was actually easier
to care for her – the
connection you get
is so quick, and
something like the
pandemic heightens
it,” she says.
Three months after
giving birth, both
Claire and Savannah caught
COVID. Savannah had a high
fever and Claire had lost her
taste, as well as a chesty cough.
“I was stuck in the house
through my entire pregnancy
and the moment I took a night
off I caught COVID. I felt really
guilty, but I had no other option
than to keep Savannah by my
side. I have bad asthma as well
so I was worried about that,” she
says.
Claire and Savannah both
recovered, however for a long
time her taste didn’t go back to
normal, where everything would
be sweet and bitter. Now, Claire
is back to work as a hairdresser
in Ludlow and is enjoying every
moment as a first time mother.
“I don’t think Mike and I
will have another child, just
because of our age, but we love
Savannah and just want to
spoil her for the rest of her life.
To women going through IVF,
I’d recommend just go by the
book and do whatever you can
in order to raise that chance of
success.”
s e x
27

28. SECOND HAND SHOP
‘TIL YOU DROP
From lockdown donations, to co-founding a second-hand
clothing website, Made in Chelsea’s Eliza Batten speaks to
Abigail Beresford about her second hand fashion journey.
f a s h i o n
28

29. f a s h i o n
T
he coronavirus pandemic brought a time of uncertainty
for people, with a large majority left in crisis.
The sudden halt in reality led to many losing jobs and
struggling financially - many turning to food banks, unsure
where their next meal was going to come from.
After visiting and donating to a local food bank, the tough
realities that many were facing struck a heartstring with Eliza
Batten.
It was a time when charity was needed.
“I just wanted to do good and try to make as much of a dif-
ference as I could,” she says, beaming.
Known for appearing on E4’s Made In Chelsea, Eliza, 24,
used her social media platform for charitable means.
A simple idea of selling clothes and using the money to
donate to charities worked wonders and created a social media
storm.
Every Thursday night at 5pm during the lockdown period,
she would upload a selection of clothes on to the second hand
store app, Depop, and further promote the new items on her
Instagram, to encourage people to purchase, assuring that all
the money made would go to charity.
“I raided my wardrobe, then my sister’s, and my mum’s and
that alone raised £250,” she says.
“I then reached out to friends, asking if they had any clothes
to get rid of, and then to my following to see if they had any
unwanted clothes to get rid of, too.
“It kept growing and growing and raising more and more for
charity each week.”
Originally, the Depop donations went towards the food bank
charity,Trussell Trust.
The charity’s aim is to stop hunger and poverty in the UK,
and needed all the donations people could provide to help
during such a dark time.
“I would use the money raised to buy food and donate to
the charity in a food form, but then I started raising too much
money to do that,” she laughs in disbelief.
“Spending £400 on tins - how on earth was I going to be
able to transport that.”
The money raised made a sizeable difference, and was highly
regarded by the charity.
“I saw that Michael McIntyre had raised about £1 million for
Trussell Trust, and Andy Murray had raised about the same - I
was just a drop in the ocena compared to them.”
But a drop in the ocean it wasn’t.
The Depop drops raised £12,000 in total, in support for a
number of charities, as well as the Trussell Trust, including The
Stephen Lawrence Foundation,Time 4 Children, and Southall
Black Sisters.
Eliza’s work for charities does not stop with the Depop
drops, with plans to run the London Marathon this year, in aid
of Diabetes UK, too.
“I could go with the times, and that helped keep the project
current and kept people engaged, because they were raising
money for charities that were not only in their peripheral
vision, but also for something that they were passionate about,”
she says.
“It was hard to move on to the next charity. Each time, I
would set myself a bar for a certain charity, and then once I
reached it, I’d move on to the next one.”
Over a year later since the Depop drops began, Eliza still
finds herself baffled at how something so simple was able to
create
“I think the success behind it was that everyody had done
their wardrobe clear-outs. Charity shops were closed, so there
was a big gap in the market for it, which the drops were able to
provide.
“It was the perfect storm, and I don’t think that it could be
recreated. It wouldn’t have the same attraction and excitement,
in comparison to what there was during the pandemic.
“The beauty of it was that nobody felt guilty for shopping
because all of the money went to charity. It was the idea of
trying to help others, whilst we all felt so helpless and trapped
at home.”
However, now finding ourselves in a post-pandemic reality,
people are back to their busy and chaotic lives, and using their
time money for other purposes.
“I don’t have that time anymore, as like everybody else. It
took up so much time - it was a commitment. I never wanted it
to become something frustating for me,” she says.
“I still sell things on there every now and again, but to keep
it manageable I don’t promote it on my Instagram much any-
more.”
Eliza’s Instagram content now sees her expressing her
interest in second hand and sustainable clothing, whilst also
introducing her followers to the wonders of this new way of
shopping.
“A lot of people picture second hand shopping as going
into charity shops, and it being quite dusty and musky, where
actually it’s not,” she says.
“Second hand shopping still offers you labels at affordale
prices and you can find some amazing things in great quality.
“I think its opened a lot of people’s eyes to ways of shopping,
showing that it can be a really pleasant and clean experience.”
This modernised way of shopping ensures that a consumer
is more conscious with how they spend their money, whilst
also benefitting the environment and
“Sustainable shopping is like eating with chopsticks, rather
than a fork - it keeps you slow and it keeps you measured.”
However, changing shopping habits may not be of interest
of people, and to sway people away from them may not be
possible.
“You can’t go shouting down people’s throats - you want to
make it more appealing to people, and show that it is a fun way
to shop.”
Eliza’s passion for secondhand fashion has allowed her to
puruse it into a career, now co-founding new second hand
clothing site,The Cirkel.
“People have clothes they want to shift, but they don’t have
the time to run their own Depop accounts, and that’s where we
can help,” she says.
“Using The Cirkel, people don’t have to lift a finger.We do
all the work for you.You send us your clothes, and we do the
pictures, the posting, and the packaging all for you,” she says.
The second hand website aims to become part of the sus-
tainable solution, whilst also making high end second hand
fashion accessible for all up and down the country.
“It’s not too disimilar to the Depop drops,” she says.
“The difference is that on Depop and eBay is that you can’t
just have a casual scroll on there. Unless you know exactly
what you’re looking for on there to the most minut detail.
“It can be so stressful finding what you want - that’s where
we compete with them.”
However, drawing people away from their buying habits
and fast fashion fixes may prove to be the company’s biggest
hurdle.
“We want to convert new consumers - people who love a
casual scroll on ASOS and Net-A-Porter can have that with us.
We want to make sure you’re getting the same fix, whilst being
sustainble in your purchases.”
“We’re trying to make The Cirkel feel like you’re shopping
new, because sustainable shopping is the future of fashion.”
With the fast fashion industry offering cheap prices, many
are loyal in the purchases with them in order to get their fash-
ion fix for a temporary time.
However, re-purposing an item that was once loved has the
potential to be loved by someone new, and too can come with
cheap prices, but also great quality.
“The fashion industry needs to change, and I hope this can
create a much needed start for it to do so,” she says.
It is certain to say that change is being made, for charity and
for fashion.
For Eliza, it has certainly become full ‘cirkel’.
29

30. Ordinary girl
Iam not an ordinary girl.
I used to wish I would
be seen as a “normal” girl,
someone who was skinny, had
beautiful long locks of hair
that would covet envy from
others and could find a guy
that wanted to be with me
longer than six weeks.
But what made me different?
Was it the way I dressed, the
way I looked, or the way I
felt about life? It was all of
the above actually. I always
dressed differently, had
different interests and spoke
differently to others my age.
When I started secondary
school, I had a style that was
gothic and I’d spend my head
in a book for most of my life
by that point. I was branded
“different” and treated as such
due to having my own style
and not sticking to societal
norms and the current trends
of which most girls stuck to.
Throughout school, I found
myself trying my hardest to fit
in, and I ended up changing
myself to fit others narratives
of what and who I should
be. Still, as I struggled with
my new image I learnt that it
doesn’t matter what you do to
change yourself, if someone
has formed an opinion on you
based upon your appearance,
nothing you do will change
that.
I ended up changing myself
to be so far away from who
I originally was, it took years
to find myself again. I went
through phases of clothing
every few months, not
deciding whether I wanted
to be girly, gothic, tomboy or
emo. Sometimes I still wonder.
The thing is, the one thing
I learnt through all of this
is that normal is boring.
Everyone is trying to be
someone they’re not as they’re
growing up and life is hard.
Don’t let others pressure you
to be someone you’re not,
believe me it can happen.
Even if it’s just a TV show you
make yourself like to try to get
them to like you more, even
though you don’t really care
about it.
I’ve made these mistakes
throughout my life. Saying I
like a band after someone gets
me to listen to a few tracks,
even though I’m not keen.
Thankfully, in that case, I went
away and listened properly in
my own time and ended up
actually really liking the band
and went on to see them live.
I’ve said I liked a game to just
get someone to like me more,
to have more to talk to me
about.TV shows, books, music.
It all becomes something to
try to get others to like you.
Even with the people closest
to me, I still do it. I used to
be really into Doctor Who
as a child, it was our family
thing to watch together. But
as time went on and things
changed, I stopped watching
so much. But if
people around
me put it on,
I’ll watch it
and try to have
conversations
with them
even though I
have no clue
what they’re on
about because
I don’t watch
it anymore. Same goes for
Star Trek and DC Comics TV
shows and movies.
It doesn’t mean I don’t
like these things, I grew up
watching them, and I have a
special place for them. I just
don’t have any intention of
watching them alone. It’s just
who I am.
It’s taken me years to figure
out my true style. Being
around the right people
allowed me to figure out
everything properly. I was
able to be a tomboy, but also a
girly girl. I can be whomever
I want and it’s great. I truly
found who I am. I wear a
mixture of both womens and
mens clothes because I’m
comfortable that way.The true
label is gender fluid, but I
don’t want a label on things.
It’s just who I am, wearing
men’s jeans, t-shirts and
jumpers one day and a dress
the next.
When you know who you
are, don’t run from it. Don’t
try and change yourself for
someone else. Just be who
you are.You too will find that
you’re not ordinary. Ordinary
and normal are boring anyway.
You are unique. Own it.
By Kira Gibson
f a s h i o n
30

31. f a s h i o n
Sustainable Fashion
Our guide on where to shop to create your conscious
wardrobe
Vestiaire Collective
Available on the App Store
If you love vintage pieces
and designer brands, this is
the place to shop.
Vestiaire presents buyers
with amazing prices and
deals that can’t go ignored!
Depop
Available on the App Store
Depop is simply home for
selling and buying second
hand items.
This alternative method
of buying brings affordable
prices and a range of items.
By Rotation
Rent the Runway The Cirkel Save Your Wardrobe
Available on the App Store
Wanting something to wear
for a one off occasion?
Rent clothes, shoe and
accessories from By Rota-
tion.
It’s as simple as that!
renttherunway.com
Rent the Runway allows
you to rent thousands of
designer items for your
event needs!
With subscription op-
tions available, you can rent
to your heart’s content!
thecirkel.com
Newly launched,The
Cirkel, brings ease to your
buying and selling sec-
ondhand needs for luxury
brands.
These prices cannot be
missed!
Available on the App Store
Save Your Wardrobe has
the mission to get you to
fall back in love with your
wardrobe.
Keeping track of your
current wardrobe, the app
limits your buying habits!
31

32. Starting a clothing
business at 23
Self made entrepreneur, Sharmaine Chitsika speaks on how she turned a dream to reality by
starting a business at 23 with her sister. In this interview Sharmaine speaks to Shantelle Gondo.
Starting your own business in the early 20s was a
‘myth’ and an unrealistic dream they said.
But for Sharmaine, now 24 and her sister, that
dream turned into a reality, during the summer of
May in Leicester.
“Our home turned into a studio,” says Sharmaine.
The online clothing store, Shaluxee, was launched
in July 2021 by two sisters in their early 20s.
Successfully selling dresses, jumpsuits, tops and
matching sets.
Shaluxee aims to empower every single woman to
feel beautiful in who they are and what they wear.
“The idea came from not wanting to work for
someone else,” says Sharmaine.
“And I knew that if we ever wanted to be
successfully self-employed, this would never
happen while working for someone.
“So that’s why we decided our early 20s was the
best time to start this business, while also working
at my full time graduate job.”
While Sharmaine has always had such an
entrepreneurial spirit, the business idea had always
been there since a young age but didn’t turn into a
reality until God’s timing.
“Making the business dream a reality, was just
taking a risk and seeing how it would turn out.
“We wanted to make every women feel like a queen
and to love their bodies the way they are,” she says
When it came to planning, the sisters already knew
their target audience and the main things needed
to put the business together.
“The first thing we completed before anything
else was the legal documents as this is one of the
crucial things when starting a business, and it just
motivates you to carry on going,”she mentions.
“We then structured the business, and planned
everything else including inventory, sale prices,
social media and also advertising.
“The hardest thing we came across was probably
building the website, as we were new to it and
everything was self taught,” says Sharmaine.
“But on the bright side, I love that we have given
opportunities to friends and girls that enjoy fashion
and modelling.
“During this first year I’ve felt so proud of myself,
like I am unstoppable, and feel like an independent
woman that is building something for herself , and
becoming the woman I want to be,” she concludes.
For Sharmaine the business has made her uncover
a new side that she never knew she had and this
has only motivated her to keep working hard until
the potential goal is reached.
“I know in my heart that this is just a great
beginning of something, because this is not just
a small business or a temporary business, this
business is an open door for my family and my
friends,” she adds.
“Although sometimes things get too much, we stay
motivated because we know the business will only
grow and God didn’t bring us this far to leave us.
“To all the women out there that have had
something on their mind, turn your dreams into a
reality and step out of your comfort zone.
“We all have 24 hours, work as hard as you can to
achieve what you want so you can enjoy it later.
And know that all the hard work you put in now
wasn’t for nothing and even if you don’t succeed
the first time, get up again because what doesn’t kill
you only makes you stronger.”
f a s h i o n
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33. f a s h i o n
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34. 34
f a s h i o n

35. S
tacked upon shelves in the beautiful old London house
of former Love Island star, Brett Staniland, are various
books about the history of fashion, styling manuals,
and collections from luxury designers.
These are books belonging to someone who clearly knows
the fashion industry inside and out.
Fashion PhD and model, Brett Staniland, 27, appeared on
the most recent series of ITV2’s, Love Island, in the hope of
finding love.
“It didn’t particularly go well for me there,” he laughs.
The desire of finding love on the show has increasingly
been misted in the hopes of signing contracts with fast fashion
brands, following the success of ex-Love Island star, and now
creative director of PrettyLittleThing, Molly-Mae Hague.
The show is associated with fast fashion brands, especially
due to its sponsor, I Saw It First.
“The sponsors are actively involved in the production of the
show, due to supplying Islanders with free clothes throughout
the course of it. If you ever want any clothes, you can simply
call production and get it,” he says.
“When they sent me the contestant agreement, it details
what the show’s sponsors can use of you if you wear their
clothes.
“If you do wear them, then the sponsor can use your name,
voice, and image for a prolonged period of time, which carried
on after the show had finished - they said they couldn’t change
that part of the contract.
“When I got to Majorca for my holding period, the sponsors
sent across loads of codes and vouchers to use on their website
- it was something that was completely redundant for me.”
To avoid promoting something that he was so against, Brett
took his own clothes into the villa.
“If they said that I had to wear those clothes, I wouldn’t have
done the show,” he says.
Association with these brands after appearing on Love
Island comes with the opportunity to sling shot careers into
success, with offers of amazing opportunities and six-figure
deals.
“I contemplated sucking it up and doing it for the first year,
to earn as much money as possible, so that I could then put it
towards creating a documentary about the negative impacts of
the fast fashion industry,” he says.
“It was something that I really wanted to do and I still want
to do, but I’d lose a lot of credability in that, for sure.
“I’ve spent a lot of my most recent years in my career actively
speaking against fast fashion, and have never worked for these
brands - it really affects your capacity to earn money, as well as
your employability.”
Prior to his appearence, Brett’s modelling career proceeded
him and was a professional.
Walking for designers including Helen Anthony and Love
Hero, at this year’s London Fashion Week, Brett’s association
with the reality show did not define him, following distancing
himself away from being considered an influencer.
“I was expecting a bit of a hit in my career with the con-
natations of reality TV, and working in high-end and luxury
fashion,” he says.
“Some publications came out and told my management that
they wouldn’t work with me anymore, after appearing on the
show - alternatively, I turned down a couple offers here and
there, as they just weren’t right for me.
“It’s all swings and roundabouts,” he shrugs, in dismay.
“I had some brands that were really keen to work with me -
usually, its the ones with a small budget that have approached
me, as they know I have a platform to talk about sustainable
fashion.”
Sustainable fashion is something that Brett regularly pro-
motes and encourages people to get behind, using his social
media to educate audiences about the unfair realities that fast
fashion brands generate.
With the relevation during the coronavirus lockdown that
garment makers for the brand, BooHoo were being paid £3.50
an hour, the inhumane reality behind buying cheap clothes
were imminent - however, its a moral debate to choose to pro-
mote this way of buying, or pave way to a sustainable solution.
Unlike Brett, contestants from the most recent series chose
the opposing path, with Liberty Poole signing a deal with In
The Style, and winner, Millie Court releasing edits with ASOS.
The most prolific example being series 4 runner-up, Mol-
ly-Mae Hague, 22, with her assignment as Creative Director of
PrettyLittleThing in 2021.
The brand announced back in January this year, that it was
taking their new collections to the runway in London.
Originally, the event was promoted in co-operation with
London Fashion Week - however a statement was later re-
leased by the British Fashion Council, stating that they had
nothing to do with the event whatsoever.
“A few weeks before the announcement, we caught wind
about the show. I really wanted to know the address, and want-
ed to have a look and see what they were doing - from there,
we started to plan a little bit,” he says.
“We had to keep it lowkey, as if they knew we were planning
it they would have shut the whole thing down.”
Between 20 and 30 people attended the protest outside the
event, including fair fashion campaigner,Venetia La Manna,
and co-founder and CEO of Rotaro, Georgie Hyatt, were acces-
sorised with powerful protest signs with impactful messages,
condemning the fast fashion industry.
“It was really successful in the end, and we were all really
happy with how it went down,” he says.
“When things like this happen, it’s impactful. People have
stopped me in the street and brought it up to me - it’s really
meaningful.
“Regardless of my Love Island association, I would have
been there.”
Despite the positive response, faced backlash, with Brett
branded as a ‘mysogonist’ from fans of Molly and those who
disagreed with the protest.
“I’ve had no response from Molly - I’m not someone who
can just message Molly and get a response, and resolve some-
thing like this,” he says.
“I have to acknowledge that the reason I am passionate
about this is because I’ve worked in fashion - it’s led me to
where I am now.”
Campaigning for people to get behind sustainable fashion is
something Brett will continue to participate in
Leading the runway towards a more sustainable way to style
and shop.
Pretty Little Problem with
Fast Fashion
Model and ex-Love Island contestant, Brett Staniland, speaks to Abigail Beresford about the and his involve-
ment in protest at the PrettyLittle Thing fashion show.
f a s h i o n
35

36. Sharmaine, 24
Foundation - Fenty
Pro-concealer - Fenty
Primer/ Setting spray - LA
girl
Lipstick/Lipgloss -Fenty
Makeup brushes - Fenty
Esther, 19
Foundation - Morphe
Pro-concealer - LA girl
Primer/ Setting spray - Revolution
Lipstick/Lipgloss - Clear lipgloss
Makeup brushes - Superdrug
brushes
Sharon, 21
Foundation - Estee Lauder
Pro-concealer - LA girl
Primer/ Setting spray - NYX
Lipstick/Lipgloss - Dior lip
Makeup brushes - Beauty bay
Your Favourite
Everyone has a favourite makeup brand.
f a s h i o n
36

37. Iveta, 19
Foundation - Lancome
Pro-concealer - Lancome
Primer/ Setting spray - Lancome
Lipstick/Lipgloss - Kiko
Makeup brushes - Lancome&
Mac
Ruvimbo, 20
Foundation - Fenty
Pro-concealer - Elf
Primer/ Setting spray - Revolution
Lipstick/Lipgloss - MUA & Carmex
Makeup brushes - Real techniques
Happiness, 24
Foundation - NYX
Pro-concealer -Mac & Revolution
Lipstick/Lipgloss - Revolution
Makeup brushes - Morphe, Real
techniques and Elf
Makeup Brands
We went around asking university students what
their favourite brands of face products were.
f a s h i o n
37

38. f a s h i o n
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39. f a s h i o n
Welcome to the House of
Aristocrats
With features in BritishVogue and Ru Paul’s Drag Race UK, designer, Fa Rukh talks to Abigail Beresford
about the successes and excentric creations of his sustainable fashion label.
M
annequins dressed in new, unique designs, awaiting
for models to bring life to the masterful creations.
A work room full of creations in progress for the
House of Aristocrats.
With the mission to create bespoke, slow, and sustainable
designs, the luxurious, sustainable fashion, House of Aristoc-
racts, puts an elegant twist on reclaimed fashion, bringing life
back to old fabrics, and transforming them into masterpieces.
“Sustainable fashion is being revolutionaised,” exclaims Fa.
Fa Rukh is the creative mind behind the luxurious looks of
the house.
Having only been in the fashion business for three years,
Fa’s extraordinary work has achieved achievements many
would dream of, including being featured in British Vogue.
However, fashion was not the originally the intended path
for the Dundee designer.
After graduating from Punjab Medical School with a Mas-
ter’s in forensic dentistry at Dundee University, it was soon
apparent to Fa that it wasn’t the right fit for him.
He simply fell in love with the creative freedom within the
fashion universe - it felt like destiny for him to follow this path.
Switching his dentist scrubs for luxurious garments, he
found the right fit for him.
Hence, the label was launched in 2019, alongside the its first
collection, ‘Out&Outrageous019’.
The collection featured eight different outfits to represent
each colour from the rainbow,
Each design had a story behind it, with the hopes of inspir-
ing the LGBTQIA+ community.
“House of Aristocrats is an all gender and style inclusive,
sustainable, slow fashion house,” he says.
“The pieces created at Aristocrats are bespoke and personal-
ised to fit the wearers unique body shape and personality.
“The House reperesents modern sillhouettes, keeping values
of different ethnicities in mind, designing for women empow-
erment, LGBTQIA+ acceptance and celebrating all bodies.
“Aristocrats bring drama-mama to the runway.”
Themes of empowerment are regularly reflected within his
collections, especially within the LGBTQIA+, to echo the value
it holds of inclusivity.
Fa’s creations are frequently modelled on drag queens, with
the label’s most iconic display on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK.
The label took to RuPaul’s runway during the second series
of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK in 2021.
Drag Race contestant, Lawrence Chaney, who later went on
to win the series was styled in a customised House of Aristo-
crat garments, inspired by Diana Rigg’s costume in 1960’s TV
series of ‘The Avengers’, for the Gay Icon runway challenge.
Chaney dazzled in a purple catsuit, with accessorised with
a bejazzled bowler hat and a pocketwatch belt, paying ode to
Ridd’s character, Mrs. Penn.
“Working with Lawrence was the best,” he says.
“The moment she walked in, I knew she was made for tele-
vision.”
The runway piece welcomed compliments from LGBTQIA+
icons, Ru Paul, Michelle Visage, Graham Norton, and Liz Hur-
ley.
Such compliments from Ru Paul, many would dream to hear
from their idols.
It showed that Fa was clearly excelling in couture.
This isn’t the only big achievement of the upcycled fashion
label.
This year, Fa saw his designs come to life on the red carpet
at The Brits.
Model, Lily Iaschelcic, wore an elegant black dress with
puffed sleeves, and displayed an intricutly designed gold heart
in the centre - the masterpiece titled ‘My F**king Heart of
Gold’.
“I live for a red carpet moment,” he exclaims.
Fa’s zero waste design was amongst outfits worn by celebri-
ties by designers that inspired him.
“Reaching to this moment always felt impossible and a delu-
sion,” he says.
“After I took the idea of making red carpet worthy looks not
just using expensive fabrics, but instead using elaborated skills
and details, not many people around me understood.”
Sustainability is increasingly becoming a core value within
the fashion industry, with many consumers becoming more
conscious in their buying habits, something that the House has
encorporated into their production.
“We use circular strategies on reclaimed garments and
textiles, mixed with designer hand picked, high-quality cut offs,
end rolls, and damaged fabrics to design for low waste and
longevity,” he says.
“We look for new sustain-
able, creative, valued and en-
vironmental friendly ways to
make and sell our clothing.”
Shopping sustainably
brings multiple environ-
mental benefits, whilst also
ensuring that
“We have to start consider-
ing the value of our environ-
ment and should stop taking
it for granted.
“We need to be more mind-
ful in what we buy, how we
buy, and how much we buy.”
Many tend to purchase
from fast fashion brands to
follow trends with affordable
prices.
However, this is something
that Fa wants many to move
away from to ensure of a
more environmental way of
living.
Looking to the future,
fashion is certainly bright for
the House.
With many more projects
underway, it is certain that
Fa will make his mark in the
fashion world.
“I’m trying to create for the
next generation - I want to
keep touching hearts, even
when I’m gone,” he says.
“It’’s my legacy.”
He has certainly put the Fa
in FASHION.
39