1. Adria M Booth Tyler
Upper Iowa University
STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR THEORY
OF LOVE

2. •What kinds of love are there?
•What qualities or behaviors
help to make successful
relationships?
WHAT IS LOVE?

3. Robert Sternberg is a psychologist who created an
interesting framework for visualizing different kinds
of relationships. Sternberg theorized that there are
three different dimensions to human relationships
and that all relationships contain at least one of these
dimensions. According to Sternberg, the most lasting
and fulfilling loving relationships between life
partners, or spouses, contain all three dimensions.
STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR
THEORY OF LOVE

4. Emotional
Intimacy
Passion
Consummate
Love
(intimacy+
Passion+
Commitment)
Commitment
Liking
( emotional intimacy alone)
-Companionate Love
(intimacy + commitment)
Fatuous Love
(passion + commitment
Romantic Love
(emotional intimacy +
passion)
Empty Love
(commitment
alone)
Infatuation
(passion alone)

5. Passionate love refers to the sexual
component of a relationship. It
encompasses feelings of physical
attraction and sexual desire. Passionate
love can be intense, especially at the
beginning of a relationship. Passionate
love alone if often referred to as
infatuation. It can exist in brief sexual
relationships. Passion combined with
commitment is referred to as fatuous
love. The only basis for the commitment
in these relationships is the passion,
which often makes those types of
relationships short lived. Passion
combined with emotional intimacy can
be found in casual dating relationships,
or what is referred to today as “friend’s
with benefits” relationships. Without
the stabilizing factor of commitment,
these relationships are also not
typically long lasting.
PASSIONATE
LOVE

6. Emotional intimacy is the
emotional aspect of a relationship
that includes feelings of warmth,
sharing, and closeness. It is the
component that helps us to feel
bonded to another person. It can
also include a willingness to help
another person and sharing
personal thoughts and feelings.
Emotional intimacy by itself can
exist in friendships. Emotional
intimacy combined with
commitment can exist in long-
term close friendships and family
relationships.
EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

7. Commitment is the aspect of love
that requires a cognitive decision.
Being committed to a relationship
generally means that one has
made the decision to be in a
relationship with another and to
make the actions necessary to
maintain those decisions over
time. Commitment alone is
referred to as empty love. Empty
love exists in relationships where
all that is left is the decision to
remain together despite a lack of
emotional intimacy and passion.
COMMITMENT

8. • Consummate love relationships are relationships where all three
components of love, which are passion, emotional intimacy, and
commitment, are present. Consummate loving relationships
would be the ideal for couples interested in a marriage
relationship. While consummate love relationships are what
many couples strive for, it is not always easy for each partner to
maintain all three components of the relationship over time.
Each component may exist in the relationship to a greater or
lesser degree over time. Maintaining each component of a
consummate relationship also requires good communication and
effort on the part of both partners
CONSUMMATE LOVE RELATIONSHIPS

9. • The unique thing about the Sternberg triangle is that it can serve as a
useful tool in helping individuals determine what type of relationship
they are looking for at any given stage of their life. Sometimes the love
triangle can be an eye opening tool to expose to two people the true
nature of their relationship. Two people may think that they have a
consummate loving relationship, but upon further reflection they
discover that their relationship may be missing the commitment
aspect of love. This gives each partner the choice to attempt to
integrate commitment into the existing relationship or to cease the
passionate part of the relationship and concentrate on emotional
intimacy alone, or combined with commitment. The other choice is to
end the relationship all together and seek a consummate relationship
elsewhere.
THE STERNBERG TRIANGLE AS A USEFUL TOOL

10. DEVELOPING AND MAINTAINING PASSION IN A
RELATIONSHIP
• Many people are under the assumption that the sexual
component of a loving relationship should come naturally for
both partners. This is unfortunately not the case and some
couples are surprised when they find the passion waning in their
relationship. There are a multitude of reasons why the passion
may fade in a relationship ranging from physical reasons in one
partner, to emotional issues such as depression and anxiety. The
key to rebuilding passion is maintaining commitment and
emotional intimacy while communicating openly and striving to
meet one an other’s needs sexually.

11. DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
• Emotional intimacy can sometimes cause one or both partners in a loving
relationship to feel anxious, as emotional intimacy requires a high level of
honesty and openness that can cause both partners to feel highly
vulnerable. That anxiety can diminish as each partner feels safe to be
vulnerable with the other. As with the sexual component of the relationship,
emotional intimacy does not always come naturally to both partners.
Communicating about feelings, wants, and needs is not a skill that most of
us are taught in our families of origin. With commitment and time; however,
couples can build a deep sense of emotional intimacy that causes them to
feel at peace with themselves and each other.

12. • Commitment has become somewhat of a dirty word in today’s society as
more and more men and women are afraid of committing to long-term
loving relationships. Many people today come from families where their
parents divorced and the idea of commitment is emotionally threatening to
them. After all what if they commit to another person and they chose to not
be committed back?
REMAINING COMMITTED TO A LOVING
RELATIONSHIP

13. • Honesty and transparency must be maintained at all times
• Form habits of loving behaviors
• Develop goals and strategies to strengthen the relationship
• Practice unconditional love and acceptance
• Build a sense of personal integrity
STRATEGIES FOR DEVELOPING COMMITMENT

14. Building and maintaining lasting
loving relationships is not always
an easy thing to do, but with
commitment and effort
rewarding loving relationships
can exist.
And out of that commitment and
effort of two imperfect
individuals to each other comes
the greatest reward of all….
Loving families…..

15. REFERENCES
• Bloom, L., & Bloom, C. (2013, March 13). Emotional Intimacy. Retrieved June 21, 2016, from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201303/emotional-
intimacy
• Crooks, R., & Baur, K. (2014). Our Sexuality (12th ed.). Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning.
• Rad, M. R. (2012, June 8). Tips On Building Commitment In A Relationship. Retrieved June 21, 2016,
from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/roya-r-rad-ma-psyd/commitment-
relationship_b_1407314.html