Facebook and Interpersonal Relationships

Running head: Facebook and Interpersonal Relationships 1
Facebook and Interpersonal Relationships
Adrian Aleman
Southwestern Adventist University

Facebook and Interpersonal Relationships 2
Abstract
This essay will show the effects of Facebook on interpersonal relationships. There are
plenty of negatives that outshine the positives. Facebook is a website that is used to communicate
with others. It’s a great way to form online relationships and interact with others, but sometimes
people replace social media for real face-to-face interaction, which is unhealthy. Face-to-face
interaction between two people is the best way to cultivate a successful relationship. Many
people lack social skills and have a hard time making friends and interacting with others, which
social media has helped. However, this should not be considered the norm. A majority of the
time people become bored and browse through Facebook for fun. The real reason to keep
themselves entertained. The attention span of our culture has been diminished to an astonishing
eight seconds, while a goldfish has an attention span of nine seconds. Most people cannot go
longer than an hour without checking their cellular device to view social media or typing in the
web address on a search bar. It’s pretty pathetic and there are much better things that people can
do with their time, like form real relationships.

Facebook and Interpersonal Relationships
For the last ten years, Facebook has taken over the worldwide web as the biggest social
networking site out there. Millions of people around the globe have taken advantage of this
opportunity and have connected with their old or close family and friends. It is quite easy to
maneuver around the website and it’s very convenient to keep in contact with others. Friends can
be added or declined at the click of a button. Posts are entirely dependent upon the person who
owns the profile. While Facebook offers the capability of instant messaging, there are also flaws
that are brought to the table. As humans we’re supposed to interact face-to-face in order to form
close interpersonal relationships with others. A problem that the current generation faces is that
people do not always talk face-to-face; communication usually occurs through messaging each
other instead of actually meeting up and interacting. Problems that can occur because of this are
boredom, addiction, depression, and an attention seeking ego. These topics are actually very
common in today’s society and will be proven in this paper.
Who Uses Facebook?
The most popular age group range is 18-27 year olds, Iliyana (2014). They tend to have
the most friends and post the most. Woman use Facebook more than guys do and according to
Vermeren (2015), studies have shown that “females use Facebook less than men for business
reasons, whereas woman use their Facebook more for posting more personal information,
revealing more about their personal lives.” Woman tend to be more vocal, expressive, and
willing to share. Females use social networking to stay in connection with family and friends.
Men use social networking to build influence for themselves, to gather relevant contacts to
ultimately increase their status quo. A recently trending issue occurred when individuals posted
pictures of their friends without their permission. Those tagged without permission believe that

Facebook should have privacy settings. Just recently, it came into effect. Facebook added a
feature where you can go to the settings and adjust it if you want things posted about yourself or
not. Approval of the post must be taken into consideration before it is posted onto your timeline.
Bruce (2014), “Boredom is when someone is not interested in their surroundings and can’t find
anything to entertain themselves with.” Social media is a perfect way to entertain yourself, with
the short attention span we have these days. Facebook is used as a disruption from our daily tasks
to pass time. It depends on the person on how much time they spend on social media. We all
binge sometimes on our favorite TV shows, apps, games, etc. Whether it’s waiting for your
friend to show up to lunch or you’re ten minutes early to class, the temptation is almost too good
to pass up. The great thing about it is that your newsfeed is usually full of short articles, pictures,
memes, statuses, and many other things that capture our interest. Facebook is really good with
keeping their viewers engaged in their product. As much as people do not want to sign into
Facebook, most end up doing it because it is a continuous cycle repeated daily. The need to look
at what everybody else is doing all the time and what is going on in the world around us is
tempting.
Facebook Addiction
Everyone has addictions, they may not all be the same, but they exist. Whether it’s being
addicted to videogames or Facebook, “An addiction is when someone is constantly having
compulsive engagements with something that rewards the stimuli, despite the consequences that
may occur.” (Thompson, 2015, p. 11). Facebook can be very enjoyable with all the great things it
has to offer but there are negatives too. An addiction can get to a point where it interferes with
life responsibilities and can cause behavioral problems that people might start to notice. It’s like
drugs in a way, once it is used enough, the person wants it more and more. Eventually cravings

begin and there is a loss of satisfaction that it once gave. The same thing can happen with
Facebook. If someone starts to log on every day, it will lose the glamour it once had. But if
someone logs on less often the person will stop worrying about it as much. It’s a desensitization
process and it takes a while for humans to become unattached to something that they were once
so attached to. Another suggested idea is visiting a counselor. They can can help someone deal
with current situations and or addictions. Not everyone believes in going to a counselor, but in
reality they actually really with the struggling situations that someone might be going through in
life. They do more good than harm.
Privacy Online
A topic that has been recently trending, has been the privacy settings on Facebook. When
someone first makes a Facebook profile there are a set of rules and agreements that must be read
through and confirmed. Once the terms and conditions are agreed to, the person is free to make
their own profile. The beginning instructions ask to include personal information such as where
you were born, your personal phone number, which school you attended in high school, and so
on. Once a person provides this information, they are asked if they would like to keep their
profile on private or allow it to go public. The decision is based on the person who owns the
profile, not the person who runs the website. Recently in the news there has been conversations
that have risen about this issue. Many people have had their information leaked all over the
internet without their consent. The profiles that were once private are now open to the public eye.
Facebook attempts to be transparent on the information it receives from its viewers, but they’re
in the business of data collecting, so they’re not stopping anytime soon. Here’s the catch,
Gottsegen (2015) states that “Facebook is always updating their data policy and it’s important for
people to keep themselves up to date on its latest conditions.” The best thing to do in this

situation is to check the Facebook settings and to arrange which people can and cannot see and
access posts. There is a feature that allows separation of friends into assorted groups like family,
friends, and acquaintances. It’s the user’s decision to choose whether or not they can view all the
posts or are limited to viewing just a few posts. It’s also pretty easy to connect different search
engines to a Facebook profile. Whenever someone wants to post a picture or status update on
another social media website, the user has to connect through Facebook before he or she is able
to do so. If someone doesn’t want this to happen, they have to go through the privacy settings
and check which apps or websites are authorized, which is where deletion is an option. This way
it limits the stream of information through authorized apps, search engines, and advertisers.
How Facebook Enhances Depression
Depression is the state of having a lower mood and a low self-esteem. The thoughts,
actions, and decisions that people make are entirely dependent upon the mood that the person is
in at that current time. The only problem is that most people don’t realize depression is a form of
illness and that many people struggle with it. Things that were once fun and pleasurable to do,
have now been put aside or have become less interesting, Ridley (2015). People receive
satisfaction from wants and desires, but not the activities that they used to perform and enjoy. If
depression is not treated or taken care of properly it can progress into much deeper problems that
can be hard to get out of. Some forms of depression may be amplified by social media websites
like Facebook. We all have friends that we are closely associated with and like to look at their
photos and status updates to see how their doing. There’s always that one friend who decides to
post exciting photos of themselves doing fun things, basically bragging. In turn we look at the
photo and we become somewhat disappointed with what we’re doing with our own lives at that
current moment. (Pálsdóttir, 2014, pg. 19) “This strengthens feelings of sadness or depression

that may have already been occurring and fools us into believing we’re not having as much fun
as our friends, and that we must live an uninteresting life.”
Cyberbullying
Depression interlinks with the topic of bullying. Everyday around the world, kids are
bullied. We may not know the circumstance to why some kids bully, but we do know that there
is always a reason behind why they’re doing it. The situation a child may be living in may not be
a good one and their parents may not be treating them very well. An abusive parent can give a
child living hell and they might act like their parents, because that’s the only way they know
how. To make themselves feel better, they decide to make fun of other kids and put them down.
It may not be intentional, but that can be the case. In other cases, the child may feel insecure
about themselves, which may lead to this. Back in the day before social media, kids only had to
be worried about being bullied at school. Now that the internet is so easy to gain access of, the
temptation has never been so great for a bully, (Uysal, 2015, pg. 183). Facebook has had many
recorded reports about bullying in the past and the list continues to grow today. It’s easy to
humiliate someone on the internet, in front of all their friends. This type of bullying is called
cyberbullying. When someone first makes a Facebook, they have to go through a series of steps
to set up the profile page. There are questions that are asked such as your phone number, where
you were born, and your address. This information can be used against the person in a negative
way, because more people can view the profile than expected. This is how the entire ideal of
bullying begins, by finding out particular things about that person that they wouldn’t want to be
shared amongst their peers.

Sexual Predators
Children can be at risk as well when it comes to owning a Facebook profile. Many make
profiles without the consent of their parents and this can be very dangerous. There are sexual
predators that roam through social media websites as a way to talk to underage children or teens.
Typically, a predator makes a fake profile picture of themselves to make it seem like their
attractive and give out false information about themselves. The child doesn’t know this and
they’re tricked into thinking that the person that they’re talking to is their actual age. It’s a
common practice called catfishing. This is when adults take advantage of adolescents, by
pretending to be someone their not. The people who usually commit these crimes typically don’t
get into trouble unless they decide to meet up with that person and take it a little further than
expected. This happens occasionally, when a sexual predator decides to meet up with their
perceived target. Parents don’t know the situation most times and the child leaves unexpectedly
without their parents’ knowledge. Then from there it can take a drastic turn for the worst,
depending on the suspects intentions. In many cases the child is either raped or molested, which
can change a child’s perception of who they can really trust as they continue to grow and
develop. This is a crime that can be punishable to years in prison without parole, if placed on
trial and found guilty, Buckley (2015).
Attention Seeking Online
Everyone likes a little attention here and there. It’s totally normal to want some attention,
because in reality receiving attention is very important in the process from a baby to the stage of
adolescence. Whether it’s posting a picture or a status update about our lives, having friends and
family like it is what we’re all really seeking. We want to gain positive feedback amongst
ourselves so that we feel more secure. Having more or less friends doesn’t really specifically

state that whether the person is more popular then someone else, but some might think so. Many
users on Facebook have a lot of friends, but the only problem is that they don’t know them well.
That’s the sad reality of social media, we add people that we don’t know to seek more attention
from others.
Using Time Wisely
Another valid reason that Facebook is used is for entertainment. Everyone loves to
entertain themselves with pointless information and by looking at our crushes pictures. With the
short attention spans that people have today, it’s not surprising that people can’t stay
unconnected from social media. Humans have a shorter attention span than goldfish, which is
crazy, and should be alarming. According to (Bernard, 2009, pg. 29) “A human has an attention
span that last eight seconds, while a goldfish last nine seconds.” This is basically saying that we
have a hard time focusing on hard or even simple tasks for long periods of time. At least for the
generation of today, we always have to be constantly occupied with some type of device or any
other kind of distraction that keeps us from becoming bored. The brain is made to constantly
send signals from one part of the body to another, therefore explaining to the other part of the
body how to take action. The only problem is that the brain needs rest frequently in order to take
a break from all the processing it does during the day. Having too much brain activity all at once
can be very dangerous, it is recommended to take breaks in between long sessions of continuous
brain activity. A great idea would be to schedule time in a smart manner. Go to the store, buy a
planner, and schedule the daily plans. This way social media doesn’t take all the time and you
can segment your day wisely.

Online vs. Real Relationships
Face-to-face interaction is the best way to communicate with others and that’s how
relationships are formed. It is important to remember that social media should never place real,
human interaction. However, social media can help certain types of people. An introverted
person could benefit from using social media. Introverted people are usually very quiet and keep
to themselves and are not very social with others. Facebook could be a beneficial way for
introverted people to get themselves out there, and to get connected with their peers. They may
not be very interactive face-to-face, but when it comes to social media, they tend to connect
better with their online friends. At times, it can also be beneficial for extroverts as well.
Extroverts already like to socialize with others and usually like to talk. Since they already like to
be social, social media is a great place for them. They can share interesting and funny things
amongst their friends, but the key is to not get too carried away. The bottom line here is that
human interaction is very important and we need it so that we can grow up with good social
skills. Many teenagers who have grown up in this generation, lack a good set of social skills.
Instead of socializing face-to-face, they replace it with online interaction, which is unhealthy.
Is Facebook Controlling Our Lives?
Imagine sitting on the couch in your house and spending quality time with your family.
Instead of talking to your family like normal people do, you decide to text them even though
they're right next to you. This is what’s happening in today’s society. Everyday technology
seems to take more and more control of our lives with us not even noticing. We constantly have
to be checking our Facebook or messaging our friends via text message. It’s mind-blowing that
society has become so consumed with the media that is currently available. The mixed blessing
is that it’s so available that it’s just a button click away. The internet every day is slowly killing

how we interact with the people around us, however, it also has made the world a much smaller
place. By taking control of our lives and consuming most of our time on useless apps and social
media websites, it isolates us from the rest of society and it can disconnect us from reality. There
is something really special about talking or meeting with people face-to-face. We don’t get that
same connection when we’re chatting online. Friends are supposed to be people that we love,
cherish, and hang out with. Relationships are meant to last for a lifetime and we shouldn’t allow
the internet to do the job for us.
Conclusion
This is a major problem that must be solved with society today, finding the balance
between how much time we spend on our social media and how much time we take each day to
interact with the people around us. There are many negative effects of using Facebook that keep
us from engaging in real interpersonal relationships as. One is boredom, which is when someone
loses all interest in whatever they’re doing and completely engages in something else to keep
themselves entertained. It’s a common trait amongst the generation today to waste valuable hours
of each day on the web. Face-to-face interaction is a key thing for everyone to take part of.
Instant messaging is great, but it doesn’t do the job that face-to-face interacting does, which is
engaging in conversation and forming those relationships over time. Depression can also be
another key factor that can be amplified from using Facebook. When a friend decides to post
exciting photos and statuses about their successful life, it can make someone feel depressed
about their own life. It can enhance a sense of un-satisfaction with our own lives and it can
become an addiction as well. There are people who are Facebook addicts, who spend many hours
a day roaming the site, accomplishing nothing. Someone can become attached very fast and not
even realize it. That’s why dividing out time and having a weekly schedule is important. That

way someone can schedule their Facebook time so it doesn’t conflict with the other important
things scheduled, such as hanging out with they’re real friends. Go out and have relationships
with those around you and enjoy life. Instead of instant messaging your friends all the time, go
out and form real relationships; ones outside the chat box.

References
Bernard, S. (2009, October 15). Facebook friends and survival of the twittest: An evolutionary
theory. Finance, p. 29.
Bruce, C. (2014). Addicted to distraction: psychological consequences of the modern mass
media. Buckingham: The University of Buckingham Press.
Buckley, M. (2014). 2-year prison sentence for 'catfishing'. Retrieved from
http://www.southbendtribune.com/news/year-prison-sentence-for-
catfishing/article_7f571df8-b041-11e3-bd92-001a4bcf6878.html
Gottsegen, G. (2015). Here’s How to Use Facebook’s Mystifying Privacy Settings. Retrieved
from http://www.wired.com/2015/08/how-to-use-facebook-privacy-settings-step-by-step/
Iliyana, S. (2014). Social media and the rebirth of PR: The emergence of social media as a
change driver for PR. Hamburg, Germany: Anchor Academic Publishing.
Pálsdóttir, Á. (2014). Preferences in the use of social media for seeking and communicating
health and lifestyle information. Information Research: An International Electronic
Journal, 19(4).
Ridley, S. (2015, February 4). Facebook makes you depressed: New research explains why
social media leaves you feeling down. World News.
Thompson, A. (2012, May 15). Why we're addicted to facebook. News, p. 11.
Uysal, R. (2015). The predictive roles of social safeness and flourishing on problematic facebook
use. South African Journal Of Psychology, 45(2), 182-193.
doi:10.1177/0081246314560010

Vermeren, I. (2015). Men vs. Women: Who Is More Active on Social Media? Retrieved from
https://www.brandwatch.com/2015/01/men-vs-women-active-social-media/

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