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INTRODUCTION

Want to plan your next holiday? Analyse your work colleagues? Find out who is part of your child’s social
influence network or decide what to buy grannie for Christmas? Then pick up your car keys and go for a
drive! In a recent Secret Lives of Cars poll by Allianz Your Cover Insurance, drivers revealed what they talk
about in their cars. With over half of family leisure car journeys taking more than an hour, there is a lot
of time which could potentially lead to useful conversations. Given the stresses of modern day living and
the pressure on ‘free’ time, the car offers a productive alternative environment to catch up with our loved
ones.

This report combines the Secret Lives of Cars poll with findings from in-depth semi-structured interviews
carried out by psychologists with over 40 families from around the UK. It focuses on the psychological
use, engagement and function of conversations held whilst on a car journey.


CARS CREATE A POSITIVE
COMMUNICATION ENVIRONMENT
Cars, and the journeys we undertake in them, are conducive to positive communication. The car journey
itself is an informal, comfortable and secure environment to converse with those closest to us and explore
and express ourselves. For example, when asked why some topics are easier to talk about in the car more
than one in three people in the survey admitted it was the more informal setting of the car environment. What
we say in the car is usually safe from prying ears, so remains slightly more psychologically confidential as
a result. Psychologically the conversation stays in the confines of the car. When you open the door you
open the conversation, you shut the door and the conversation stays inside. For example one in three
drivers reported that they regularly discussed their outgoings whilst on journeys in the car.


“When I think about it it’s quite weird really - I tend
                                                                “We regularly discuss the family’s spending in
to gossip about things we’ve talked about at home
                                                                the car” admitted one parent (mum of three from
or in the office but conversations I have had in the
                                                                Cambridge) who was interviewed, “it’s the only
car seem to stay there. Funny Now I think about it
                                                                time my husband and I can be sure that small
I don’t know why I do that.” Stated one driver
                                                                ears are not wiggling and that we get some
(female, single, from Manchester) interviewed
                                                                private focused discussion on the matter”.
as part of the follow up focus group.




The car journey lends itself nicely as a timeframe for conversation. Every journey has a beginning, middle
and end and research has shown that people map their conversations to progress in the car. A longer
car journey might lend itself to more ‘open’ conversations that might consider lots of information and
viewpoints. For example, planning family holidays would lend itself nicely to this and the survey showed
over 60% of families admit to planning their leisure trips whilst driving. Shorter car trips might encourage
us to get to the point or come to a decision more quickly and be more focused. For example the survey
found that one in three drivers planned their gift buying whilst driving.
CARS CAN                            “I had a health scare recently – but felt so much better talking about it to
                                     my friend in the car. It just felt right to do it there – it felt private and safe”
 OFFER                               offered another driver interviewed (female, married two children from
 PRIVACY                             London).



 In this sense the car resembles something of a confessional, or a doctor’s office on wheels!
 For example younger children sit in the back seat, removed from the parent (confessor) by the barrier of a
 seat, and a head rest. However certain intimacy, with distance, is still ensured by logistics and geometry.
 The driver-parent in return is limited in the number of embarrassing visual or parental gestures that they
 can make. They also will probably avoid confrontational speeches as it is too distracting to their driving.
 The child is somewhat psychologically comforted by the feeling that they are ‘talking’ to a person who is
 there physically, but not entirely present. The other huge advantage car conversations offer children is that
 parents can’t hug awkwardly or give a painful judgemental parental stare!



“If I’m worried about something I’ll usually tell mum or                  “There are just some things I can say to the
dad in the car – there are some things I just don’t want                  back of my mum’s head that I can’t say to
everyone else to know about” stated one boy from                          her face to face” another male child from
London in the focus group.                                                Devon offered.




“I told my dad about my first boyfriend on the             “If I had problems with friends or bullying then I’d rather
way to school – that way it was short and                  tell my parents in the car – there is something less
sweet and he had little time for advice and                confrontational about doing it there. If its advice about
embarrassing speeches!” revealed another                   homework etc then that’s better for indoors” admitted a
girl from Nottingham in the study.                         teenager from London.




 CARS ENCOURAGE LESS EMOTIONALLY
 CHARGED SAFER’ TALKING
         ‘

  Car journeys also provide an environment that suits non-confrontational conversations. Driver and
  passenger are sitting side by side. Psychologically, sitting next to someone is disarming as from a
  non-verbal point of view it suggests ‘we are on the same team’. Unlike in other non-confined
  environments, such as the home, conversationalists are not ‘faced against one another’, a non-verbal
  stance that promotes conflict and confrontation. Indeed nearly 50% of the drivers in the study admitted that
  they hold conversations in the car rather than at home due to ‘lack of eye contact’.

  The position of the driver and passenger would then encourage them not to engage in emotive
  conversations. The fact that the passenger is also helping the driver with directions and spotting potential
  risks also suggests harmony rather than competition. These unconscious signals are important in guiding
  what people talk about. This is supported by the fortunate (!) statistic that the survey found that under one
  in 10 drivers had used a car journey to break up with someone and that one in three admitted they would
  never discuss their relationships with their partners whilst in the car.
“The shouting happens at home – there is no real
                                                            effect of shouting at someone who isn’t even
                                                            looking at you!” admitted one married female
                                                            driver from London.




     “We just don’t do heavy conversations in the car
                                                                    “Funnily enough we tend to have our more
     – we don’t earn enough money to keep getting the
                                                                    productive conversations in the car” said
     car repaired!” said another married female driver
                                                                    one male in a long term relationship from
     from London.
                                                                    Hertfordshire “we leave the adrenalin fuelled
                                                                    stuff for when we can face one another
                                                                    indoors!”.


 SAFETY FIRST
Another advantage of car conversations between fellow passengers is that they are far safer than
conversations over a hands-free in-car phone. Scientific research has clearly indicated that passenger
conversations differ from in-car mobile phone conversations and require less cognitive input.


    “As a driver I do notice that I tend to dictate the topics of conversations in the car. Some topics require
    a lot of attention and that wouldn’t be so good when I’m trying to navigate this heavy moving object!”
    confessed one driver who was a mum of three from Kent.


Psychologically this is because the surrounding
traffic not only becomes a topic of the conversation,
helping driver and passenger to share situation
awareness, but the driving condition also has a                   “Talk about holidays or what we might be
direct influence on the complexity of the conversation.           doing over the weekend is good – it keeps
In other words passenger and driver are selective                 me alert, allows me to engage in some
about what topics of conversation they hold in the                family planning but also lets me focus on the
car as they know the driver needs most of his/her                 driving. Politics, what I think of my boss and
attention to drive safely!                                        mother in law are definitely off limits!” offered
                                                                  one male interviewee from London.


     SUMMARY
Overall this report suggests that car journeys can be a place where useful conversations are held. The poll
findings clearly indicate that drivers utilise their car journeys positively for useful communication. They are
generally conscious of the topics that are acceptable/permissible for such trips and so aware of safety
issues. It would also seem that car journeys might actually suit certain discussions better. Certainly the
families and children interviewed seem to suggest that car conversations are less psychologically charged,
due to concerns of driver distraction etc. For parents car journeys also offer an environment that doesn’t
hold too many other distractions for kids – there are usually no TV or no toys, so chats can be more
focused and less threatening for the parent/child interaction.

The emotionally safe environment allows couples to discuss elements of their relationships calmly and
effectively. Any environment that encourages people to talk safely is good from a psychological perspective
– it acts as a useful verbal venting system as well as building up our social bonds with who took part in
the survey said that conversations held during car trips brought their families closer together. Scientific
evidence strongly suggests that these things can act as buffers to the negative effects of stress on our
psychological and physiological wellbeing.
TOP TIPS FOR HOLDING
CONVERSATIONS IN A CAR,
BY DR SIMON MOORE PRINCIPLE
CHARTERED PSYCHOLOGIST, LONDON
METROPOLITAN UNIVERSITY


                                                                  1       Think carefully about the issue that needs
                                                                          discussing and make sure you have the time to
     Try to match the pattern of your conversation       	                do it justice within the confines of the length of
       with that of the journey – so that the beginning, 	                the car journey.
          middle and end match that of where you are 	


2
             driving to.


                                                                                                                   3
                                                 4
                                                                   Car journeys are a great way of trying
                                                                   to improve your speaking ability. Get the
                                                                   driver to choose a topic and the passenger has to speak
                                                                   on that topic up until a defined point on the route. This
 Car journeys are also a good way to improve                       is an especially good way to get children confident in
 your listening skills. Many people think that they                opening up and speaking in front of people e.g. you
 have to be able to be good at talking to be a good                have to talk on ‘what do you like about our family’ until
 communicator, but you also need to be able to                     we pass the next petrol station.
 listen. You can learn as much about yourself just
 by listening, and this is a good safe exercise for



                                                                                       5
 the driver.




6                                                                           If the conversation starts to get heated there are
                                                                            a number of ways to diffuse awkward moments.
                                                                            Suggesting a break for coffee or a snack,
 Play fair! It’s not really good form to raise a topic of                   lightening the mood with a quick game of eye
 conversation that you know the driver can’t fully engage in.               spy or changing the topic and agreeing to talk
 While the conversation might go your way – it will just create             in more depth once you are out of the car may
 resentment and bad filling that will come back to haunt you                all help. Pre-load your car’s music system with
 when the driver finishes driving!                                          your partner’s favourite tracks and hit play if the
                                                                            conversation becomes too heavy!




 7
                  If a conversation can’t be resolved during the course of the journey, suggest putting it to one side and
                  continuing the discussion later when everyone has had more time to think. Remember that emotional
                  conversations do not suit car journeys – they are too distracting.
Research methodology and author
A research report was undertaken by Dr, Simon Moore, CPsychol AFBPsS of London Metropolitan University in September 2012. The research
team spoke to 45 families from across the UK about their attitudes to conversations in the car. This was incorporated into the report with a survey
of 1000 UK car drivers which was carried out in August 2012 by 72 Point on behalf of Allianz Your Cover Insurance.

Families were recruited via a combination of social network resources and opportunistic face to face recruitment. Interviews were either held over the
phone (with conference call facilities) or face to face within the family home. All participants were informed that their responses would be anonymous
and confidential and that they could withdraw their input from the research at any point. A set of semi structured questions that focused on general
driving behaviour were asked to initially encourage families to start to think and discuss what they did on car journeys. The questions became more
focused as the interviews progressed. Families were interviewed together and random members of the family group were also interviewed alone (consent
was obtained by parents for the interviews with children). Thematic analysis was applied to the interview output in an attempt to identify the main themes
emerging from the narratives.

Dr Simon Moore is a Chartered Psychologist who is an official media spokesperson for the British Psychological Society. Dr Moore has over 15 years
applied research experience and has worked with such companies as Bupa, Sony, Universal Film Studios etc. He specialises in personality, emotion
and human communication and has published books and journal articles as well as presented at International Psychology conferences.

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Allianz Your Cover - The Secret Lives of Cars

  • 1. EET TSH AC YF FAM IL IVES TL S R EC A S RE THE F C O
  • 2. INTRODUCTION Want to plan your next holiday? Analyse your work colleagues? Find out who is part of your child’s social influence network or decide what to buy grannie for Christmas? Then pick up your car keys and go for a drive! In a recent Secret Lives of Cars poll by Allianz Your Cover Insurance, drivers revealed what they talk about in their cars. With over half of family leisure car journeys taking more than an hour, there is a lot of time which could potentially lead to useful conversations. Given the stresses of modern day living and the pressure on ‘free’ time, the car offers a productive alternative environment to catch up with our loved ones. This report combines the Secret Lives of Cars poll with findings from in-depth semi-structured interviews carried out by psychologists with over 40 families from around the UK. It focuses on the psychological use, engagement and function of conversations held whilst on a car journey. CARS CREATE A POSITIVE COMMUNICATION ENVIRONMENT Cars, and the journeys we undertake in them, are conducive to positive communication. The car journey itself is an informal, comfortable and secure environment to converse with those closest to us and explore and express ourselves. For example, when asked why some topics are easier to talk about in the car more than one in three people in the survey admitted it was the more informal setting of the car environment. What we say in the car is usually safe from prying ears, so remains slightly more psychologically confidential as a result. Psychologically the conversation stays in the confines of the car. When you open the door you open the conversation, you shut the door and the conversation stays inside. For example one in three drivers reported that they regularly discussed their outgoings whilst on journeys in the car. “When I think about it it’s quite weird really - I tend “We regularly discuss the family’s spending in to gossip about things we’ve talked about at home the car” admitted one parent (mum of three from or in the office but conversations I have had in the Cambridge) who was interviewed, “it’s the only car seem to stay there. Funny Now I think about it time my husband and I can be sure that small I don’t know why I do that.” Stated one driver ears are not wiggling and that we get some (female, single, from Manchester) interviewed private focused discussion on the matter”. as part of the follow up focus group. The car journey lends itself nicely as a timeframe for conversation. Every journey has a beginning, middle and end and research has shown that people map their conversations to progress in the car. A longer car journey might lend itself to more ‘open’ conversations that might consider lots of information and viewpoints. For example, planning family holidays would lend itself nicely to this and the survey showed over 60% of families admit to planning their leisure trips whilst driving. Shorter car trips might encourage us to get to the point or come to a decision more quickly and be more focused. For example the survey found that one in three drivers planned their gift buying whilst driving.
  • 3. CARS CAN “I had a health scare recently – but felt so much better talking about it to my friend in the car. It just felt right to do it there – it felt private and safe” OFFER offered another driver interviewed (female, married two children from PRIVACY London). In this sense the car resembles something of a confessional, or a doctor’s office on wheels! For example younger children sit in the back seat, removed from the parent (confessor) by the barrier of a seat, and a head rest. However certain intimacy, with distance, is still ensured by logistics and geometry. The driver-parent in return is limited in the number of embarrassing visual or parental gestures that they can make. They also will probably avoid confrontational speeches as it is too distracting to their driving. The child is somewhat psychologically comforted by the feeling that they are ‘talking’ to a person who is there physically, but not entirely present. The other huge advantage car conversations offer children is that parents can’t hug awkwardly or give a painful judgemental parental stare! “If I’m worried about something I’ll usually tell mum or “There are just some things I can say to the dad in the car – there are some things I just don’t want back of my mum’s head that I can’t say to everyone else to know about” stated one boy from her face to face” another male child from London in the focus group. Devon offered. “I told my dad about my first boyfriend on the “If I had problems with friends or bullying then I’d rather way to school – that way it was short and tell my parents in the car – there is something less sweet and he had little time for advice and confrontational about doing it there. If its advice about embarrassing speeches!” revealed another homework etc then that’s better for indoors” admitted a girl from Nottingham in the study. teenager from London. CARS ENCOURAGE LESS EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SAFER’ TALKING ‘ Car journeys also provide an environment that suits non-confrontational conversations. Driver and passenger are sitting side by side. Psychologically, sitting next to someone is disarming as from a non-verbal point of view it suggests ‘we are on the same team’. Unlike in other non-confined environments, such as the home, conversationalists are not ‘faced against one another’, a non-verbal stance that promotes conflict and confrontation. Indeed nearly 50% of the drivers in the study admitted that they hold conversations in the car rather than at home due to ‘lack of eye contact’. The position of the driver and passenger would then encourage them not to engage in emotive conversations. The fact that the passenger is also helping the driver with directions and spotting potential risks also suggests harmony rather than competition. These unconscious signals are important in guiding what people talk about. This is supported by the fortunate (!) statistic that the survey found that under one in 10 drivers had used a car journey to break up with someone and that one in three admitted they would never discuss their relationships with their partners whilst in the car.
  • 4. “The shouting happens at home – there is no real effect of shouting at someone who isn’t even looking at you!” admitted one married female driver from London. “We just don’t do heavy conversations in the car “Funnily enough we tend to have our more – we don’t earn enough money to keep getting the productive conversations in the car” said car repaired!” said another married female driver one male in a long term relationship from from London. Hertfordshire “we leave the adrenalin fuelled stuff for when we can face one another indoors!”. SAFETY FIRST Another advantage of car conversations between fellow passengers is that they are far safer than conversations over a hands-free in-car phone. Scientific research has clearly indicated that passenger conversations differ from in-car mobile phone conversations and require less cognitive input. “As a driver I do notice that I tend to dictate the topics of conversations in the car. Some topics require a lot of attention and that wouldn’t be so good when I’m trying to navigate this heavy moving object!” confessed one driver who was a mum of three from Kent. Psychologically this is because the surrounding traffic not only becomes a topic of the conversation, helping driver and passenger to share situation awareness, but the driving condition also has a “Talk about holidays or what we might be direct influence on the complexity of the conversation. doing over the weekend is good – it keeps In other words passenger and driver are selective me alert, allows me to engage in some about what topics of conversation they hold in the family planning but also lets me focus on the car as they know the driver needs most of his/her driving. Politics, what I think of my boss and attention to drive safely! mother in law are definitely off limits!” offered one male interviewee from London. SUMMARY Overall this report suggests that car journeys can be a place where useful conversations are held. The poll findings clearly indicate that drivers utilise their car journeys positively for useful communication. They are generally conscious of the topics that are acceptable/permissible for such trips and so aware of safety issues. It would also seem that car journeys might actually suit certain discussions better. Certainly the families and children interviewed seem to suggest that car conversations are less psychologically charged, due to concerns of driver distraction etc. For parents car journeys also offer an environment that doesn’t hold too many other distractions for kids – there are usually no TV or no toys, so chats can be more focused and less threatening for the parent/child interaction. The emotionally safe environment allows couples to discuss elements of their relationships calmly and effectively. Any environment that encourages people to talk safely is good from a psychological perspective – it acts as a useful verbal venting system as well as building up our social bonds with who took part in the survey said that conversations held during car trips brought their families closer together. Scientific evidence strongly suggests that these things can act as buffers to the negative effects of stress on our psychological and physiological wellbeing.
  • 5. TOP TIPS FOR HOLDING CONVERSATIONS IN A CAR, BY DR SIMON MOORE PRINCIPLE CHARTERED PSYCHOLOGIST, LONDON METROPOLITAN UNIVERSITY 1 Think carefully about the issue that needs discussing and make sure you have the time to Try to match the pattern of your conversation do it justice within the confines of the length of with that of the journey – so that the beginning, the car journey. middle and end match that of where you are 2 driving to. 3 4 Car journeys are a great way of trying to improve your speaking ability. Get the driver to choose a topic and the passenger has to speak on that topic up until a defined point on the route. This Car journeys are also a good way to improve is an especially good way to get children confident in your listening skills. Many people think that they opening up and speaking in front of people e.g. you have to be able to be good at talking to be a good have to talk on ‘what do you like about our family’ until communicator, but you also need to be able to we pass the next petrol station. listen. You can learn as much about yourself just by listening, and this is a good safe exercise for 5 the driver. 6 If the conversation starts to get heated there are a number of ways to diffuse awkward moments. Suggesting a break for coffee or a snack, Play fair! It’s not really good form to raise a topic of lightening the mood with a quick game of eye conversation that you know the driver can’t fully engage in. spy or changing the topic and agreeing to talk While the conversation might go your way – it will just create in more depth once you are out of the car may resentment and bad filling that will come back to haunt you all help. Pre-load your car’s music system with when the driver finishes driving! your partner’s favourite tracks and hit play if the conversation becomes too heavy! 7 If a conversation can’t be resolved during the course of the journey, suggest putting it to one side and continuing the discussion later when everyone has had more time to think. Remember that emotional conversations do not suit car journeys – they are too distracting.
  • 6. Research methodology and author A research report was undertaken by Dr, Simon Moore, CPsychol AFBPsS of London Metropolitan University in September 2012. The research team spoke to 45 families from across the UK about their attitudes to conversations in the car. This was incorporated into the report with a survey of 1000 UK car drivers which was carried out in August 2012 by 72 Point on behalf of Allianz Your Cover Insurance. Families were recruited via a combination of social network resources and opportunistic face to face recruitment. Interviews were either held over the phone (with conference call facilities) or face to face within the family home. All participants were informed that their responses would be anonymous and confidential and that they could withdraw their input from the research at any point. A set of semi structured questions that focused on general driving behaviour were asked to initially encourage families to start to think and discuss what they did on car journeys. The questions became more focused as the interviews progressed. Families were interviewed together and random members of the family group were also interviewed alone (consent was obtained by parents for the interviews with children). Thematic analysis was applied to the interview output in an attempt to identify the main themes emerging from the narratives. Dr Simon Moore is a Chartered Psychologist who is an official media spokesperson for the British Psychological Society. Dr Moore has over 15 years applied research experience and has worked with such companies as Bupa, Sony, Universal Film Studios etc. He specialises in personality, emotion and human communication and has published books and journal articles as well as presented at International Psychology conferences.