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“Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.”
(Walter Lipmann)
“If we manage conflict constructively, we
harness its energy for creativity and
development.”
(Kenneth Kaye)
“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”
(Duke Ellington)
Some Words of Wisdom
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1. An awareness of the nature and sources of
conflict.
1. An appreciation of how people deal
differently with conflict.
1. An understanding of six key considerations
when managing conflict.
Learning Outcomes
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1. A conflict is more than just a
disagreement.
2. Conflicts continue to fester when ignored.
3. We respond to conflicts based on our
perceptions.
4. Conflicts trigger strong emotions.
5. Conflicts are an opportunity for growth.
What do you think?
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• Scarce Resources
• Expectations
• Misunderstanding
• Incompatible Values
• Past Trauma
• Attachment
• Different Knowledge
Put a school context on each of these.
Sources of Conflict?
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Conflict is….
A process that begins when an individual or group
perceives differences and opposition between
itself and another individual or group about
interests and resources, beliefs, values or practices
that matter to them.
What is Conflict?
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• Denial - do nothing
• Suppression – walk away. Turn the other
cheek
• Power – my way or the highway
• Compromise – give a little, take a little
• Collaboration – better together
Managing Conflict
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• Try to understand the nature of the
conflict.
• Consider appropriate course of action,
behaviours and communication style.
• Stay aware of personal feelings, emotions,
filters.
To deal effectively with Conflict
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Emotional Awareness
Key factor in managing conflict –
• Helps you understand yourself, what is
really troubling you.
• Helps you understand what is really
troubling other people.
Remember – Self Awareness
- Self Management
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1. Your Attitude.
2. Manage stress quickly while remaining
calm.
3. Control your emotions and behaviour.
4. Pay attention to the feelings being
expressed.
5. Be aware of and respectful of differences.
6. Active Listening.
Six Considerations for Managing
Conflict .
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1. Your Attitude
• Begin with the end in mind.
• Change the way you look at things and the
things you look at will change.
• Life is 10% what happens but 90% how I react
to it.
6 Strategies for Managing Conflict
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2. Managing stress quickly while
remaining alert and calm.
How do you stay calm?
• Get in to C3 mode – Become
Confident, Remain Calm, Be Comfortable.
• Read accurately and interpret verbal and
non verbal communication.
Strategies for Managing Conflict
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3. Control your emotions and behaviour.
• You have the freedom to chose your
response.
I am not responsible for other peoples
actions but I am responsible for my reactions.
• Communicate your needs without
threatening, frightening or punishing others.
Strategies for Managing Conflict
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4. Pay attention to the feelings being
expressed.
• The most important communication is wordless.
• 93% of the of the meaning of a message comes
from non verbal sources.
• Focus on emotionally driven facial expressions,
posture, gesture, pace, tone and intensity of
voice.
Strategies for Managing Conflict
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5. Be aware of and respectful of differences.
• Avoid disrespectful words and actions.
• Maintaining or strengthening the relationship
is your first priority.
• Focus on the present.
• Pick your battles.
• Be willing to forgive.
• Know when to let something go.
Strategies for Managing Conflict
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6. Active Listening
• Listen without interruption.
• Listen first, then be understood.
We can over-listen to people who agree with
us and under- listen to people who do not
agree with us.
Strategies for Managing Conflict
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• Questions beg an answer
• Questions focus thinking
• Questions guide a discussion
• Questions lead to answers
• Questions convince
The Power of Questions
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• Listen
• Paraphrase / Summarise
• Acknowledge their feelings
• Make it safe to talk
• Say what you mean
• Don’t try to prove you’re right
• Don’t exaggerate
• Make sure they understand you
After you ask the Questions...
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• Conflict takes time - terms, even years! It can be
emotionally draining but can also be constructive at
times. Conflict around professional issues can be very
constructive. You must act, even if you are unsure of
the result – it may take time but you must act.
• Sometimes your colleagues don’t speak up or become
vocal in supporting you in your efforts in dealing with
a conflict. This does not necessarily mean that you
don’t have their support - they just may not feel brave
enough to voice it publicly.
.
Bear in mind…
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• It’s important to take all viewpoints on board when discussing an
issue, try to avoid leaning towards one group or one individual.
• The Chairperson may well need to know at some stage.
• Some conflicts can never be resolved. It may have to be left there and
managed so that it will not pervade all workings of the school.
• Everyone watches when a conflict is going on - again you must act
Points to remember
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“Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.”
(Walter Lipmann)
“If we manage conflict constructively, we
harness its energy for creativity and
development.”
(Kenneth Kaye)
“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”
(Duke Ellington)
Some Words of Wisdom
