4. YOUR CLASS PROJECTYOUR CLASS PROJECTCommonSituation
You are in a group for a class project and one
of your group members is not doing ANY of
the work and has failed to hand in their
portion of the assignment.
Meanwhile, there is another group member
who is being very controlling and has taken
it upon themselves to do all of the project
and to edit the work you’ve handed in.
5. YOUR CLASS PROJECTYOUR CLASS PROJECTCommonSituation
As a group member who
doesn’t want to do
others work but wants to
contribute to the group,
HOW would you approach
these two people and give
them constructive feedback?
6. Understanding Difficult BehaviorUnderstanding Difficult Behavior
Who is the difficult?
In general:
Someone exhibiting negative behavior with
most people, most of the time
For you:
A colleague exhibiting negative behavior
towards you
7. Understanding Difficult BehaviorUnderstanding Difficult Behavior
Difficult people are usually a result of
conflicting personalities not because
of intentional behaviors
If you notice someone is more difficult
around you than others, it may be
because your personalities
clash
8. Understanding Difficult BehaviorUnderstanding Difficult Behavior
It’s important to remember we can all be
difficult whether we mean to or not
NO FEAR! I’ll give you some tips to help
you deal…
9. The 4 StrategiesThe 4 Strategies
Change YOUR Attitude
Change THEIR Attitude
Take a Stand
RUN
10. Check your perception
See beyond “difficult”
Understand their point of view
Change YOUR AttitudeChange YOUR Attitude
11. Understand why they are difficult
Show them another angle
Help them see you as a person
Change THEIR AttitudeChange THEIR Attitude
12. Take a StandTake a Stand
Used when:
Your attitude is not the problem
You cannot change their attitude
It goes beyond attitude to hurtful actions
Running is too costly
13. How to Take a StandHow to Take a Stand
Understand your options
Develop a strategy
Confront and collaborate (good guy)
The “or else” (bad guy)
Take action
Persevere
15. Types of Difficult PeopleTypes of Difficult People
Silent Complainer Sniper Aggressive Cranky
16. Cranky PeopleCranky People
Some people may be
purposefully cranky
because it helps them get
their own way.
For others, crankiness is
simply a reflection of their
own inner turmoil.
Why are people cranky?
17. How to Deal with Cranky PeopleHow to Deal with Cranky People
Try to determine the real message the person
is telling you.
Are you any part of the problem?
What can you change about your own
behavior?
Don’t remain silent. Agree with any part of
the cranky person’s statement that may be
true.
In a neutral tone of voice say,
“Would you please speak to me in a calmer tone of
19. How to Deal with AggressiveHow to Deal with Aggressive
PeoplePeople
Stand up to them, but don’t fight.
Wait for them to run out of some steam.
Call the hostile person by name and
assert your own opinions with
confidence.
◦ “Hani, you interrupted me. We can discuss my
project scope after you listen to it.”
20. Subtle SnipersSubtle Snipers
These people are experts
in pot shots and sneak
attacks in subtle ways,
such as:
◦ Humorous put downs
◦ Sarcastic tones of voice
◦ Disapproving looks
◦ Innuendos
21. How to Deal with SubtleHow to Deal with Subtle
SnipersSnipers
Respond to the sniper with a question.
◦ “That sounds like you’re making fun of me. Are you?”
◦ “What are you trying to tell me with that look?”
◦ “Did you really mean what you said?”
A sniper will usually respond with denial
or volley the responsibility to you.
◦ “I’m only joking.”
◦ “You’re so serious. Can’t you take a joke?”
Speaking up lessens the chance of similar
attacks in the future.
22. ComplainersComplainers
These are fearful people
who have little faith in
themselves or others
because they believe in a
hostile world.
Their constant
discouragement and
complaining can bring
everyone to despair.
23. How to Deal with ComplainersHow to Deal with Complainers
Don’t try to argue them out of their
negativity.
Respond with your own optimistic
expectations.
◦ “I think that everything will turn out great.”
◦ “I am sure we will get done on time.”
24. Silent PeopleSilent People
They are timid people
who retreat into their
shells to avoid conflict and
responsibility.
They get away with not
talking because most
people are uncomfortable
with silence and are too
quick to fill in the gaps.
25. How to Deal with Silent PeopleHow to Deal with Silent People
Ask them questions that cannot be
answered with just a “yes” or “no”, such
as:
◦ “Would you please help me understand the
problem you are facing?”
Wait at least one full minute. Then, if the
silent person won’t respond, set another
date to discuss the matter.
26. Do Not ...
A difficult person’s behavior is habitual.
He behaves this way with most people.
Don’t take the difficult person’s behavior
personally.
Don’t make excuses for the difficult
person’s behavior.
Think of other people who have faced
adversity and have not become difficult.
You lose control when you make excuses
for difficult people.
27. Do Not ...
Don’t try to beat them at their own game.
They have been practicing their skills for a
long time, and you are a beginner by
comparison.
Don’t fight back.
Don’t try to appease them.
It won’t work because difficult people
have an insatiable appetite for more.
28. Do Not ...
You can’t change other people.
You can only change your response to
their behavior.
By changing your responses, they may
decide to change…or they may not.
However, you will feel better.
Don’t try to change the difficult person.
