These tips would prove helpful for parents raising children for their moral and ethical upbringing in the light of Islamic values.

1. Practical Tips for Disciplining Children
1. Always Use words of encouragement.​ ​Search for situations and behaviors in which you can
commend your child. When you notice Abdullah getting along with his younger sibling or completing his
homework without being told, let him know how pleased you are. For example, you have done very well, I
am proud of you, you are smart, great at your job etc.
2. Be fair when disciplining.​ ​Being unfair or excessively harsh when correcting your child can
sometimes lead to your child retaliating in subtle ways, such as venting his anger on younger siblings. If you
find you have disciplined excessively or unjustly, let your child know you’re sorry. Parents can apologize too.
This can teach your child that he can correct his mistakes as well. Apologizing is a greatly appreciated in
Islam and highly encouraged by our Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW. This can positively impact on your
child upbringing and teaches them that making mistakes is a normal learning process.
3. Check your stress level. ​Have you been under extra stress lately? When you are under added
stress, you tend to have less patience. You might snap at your child for things you wouldn’t ordinarily scold
him for. During these periods, acknowledge your heightened tension, and then decrease your stress by
retreating to your room for rest. You can also relax by involving yourself in special personal time such as
reading an enjoyable book or listening to the Quran. Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW has also emphasized
to avoid decision making if you are angry or under stress, plus he has prescribed to sit down, relax and take
a time out to overcome your anger or stress. This could give an impression to your children as well to avoid
making hasty decisions out of anger or stress.
4. Check your child’s stress level. ​A child that is stressed is less likely to be cooperative. Focus
on relieving his or her stress by determining what is upsetting him and doing what you can to help. During
these periods, within reason, try to overlook negligible behaviors. Furthermore, sit down with your child and
tell him to speak with you and show him/her that you are listening to what they want to share. Always
prefer to create an atmosphere of understanding, open discussion and communication in your home. This
would enable your children to open up with you, instead of telling their problems, or fears to outsiders.
5. Be observant of routine changes.​ Try to be observant if there are any abrupt changes in
regular routine patterns for example, school ending or beginning, vacations, Ramadan, Eid, moving into a
new home, visits of guests for longer days, etc? Similar disruptions can cause change in behaviour patterns
in your child he/she could be inattentive or ignorant to your instructions, restless and less focused on
important tasks. Hence, during such times your child needs more positive reinforcement rather than false
accusations or penalties.
6. Determine if your child is seeking attention. ​Children are attention seekers by nature.
However, some of them attempt to seek attention in any way they can-even if it is through inappropriate

2. behavior. Sometimes children even try to throw ​tantrum ​(​an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration
typically in a young child). Preferably, try to spend more time with your child, if you have been a bit
unattentive lately. Simply sit with your child, listen more and give him/her your full attention and try to
encourage him/her to talk to you. It could be a good sign as a start.
7. Determine if your child is seeking power. ​Children possess a natural desire to control at
times, their actions speak as a result of this behavior. For example, if your child refuses to take a bath when
asked to, or refuses to eat whatever you have prepared for him/her than try offering him/her options rather
than commands. Like do you want to take your bath now, Abdullah, or in ten minutes? Allow your child to
make choices and decisions whenever possible, hence offer them choices.
8. Notice if your child is sleepy or tired. ​Always ensure that your child gets enough rest and
sleep. Lethargic, drowsiness, laziness. Grouchiness (tending to complain or grumble) can sometimes be a
result of lack of sleep deprivation, tiredness or stress.
9. Notice if your child is hungry. ​A hungry child is irritable. Always ensure your child eats regular
healthy meals. Prefer to make healthy meals for your child using milk, fiber products, juices, proteins and
other similar nutritious ingredients as part of his everyday diet.
10. Monitor your expectations of your child. ​There is a possibility that your child might have
a disability that could make it difficult for him/her to cooperate or perform daily chores with convenience.
Therefore, educate yourself about special needs including learning disabilities, ADHD, autism and
developmental disabilities. Accept his/her disability as and when diagnosed by a professional consultant
and always follow their instructions for successful growth of your child’s body and mind. Denying or
ignoring these deficiencies will hinder your child’s mental, social, emotional and physical development as a
human being.
11. Avoid falling prey to your child’s lure to argue. ​Allowing your child to express his/her
feelings is always a good idea. Remember, children are smarter than you anticipate. They have their own
mindsets and plans to use you as a bait to get their desires fulfilled. If you notice a back and forth argument
ensuing, say that you have to say then ignore any further comments. If you child retorts with blatant
inappropriate remarks, handle them later after clearly understanding the real story behind the scenes.
12. Address your child’s feelings.​ Let your child know you understand how he feels, even when
he/she misbehaved. If Abdullah comes home with a notice from his school reprimand him for misbehaving
with his teacher, listen to his story and frustrations first. Let him know you are there for him, and that you
understand his feelings. Later, follow up with instructions in a kind manner to guide him how to handle the
situations in future more appropriately and then pass out whatever penalties you prefer to put in place.
Ensure the penalties must be age compliant like asking Abdullah to help out in house tasks, doing some
cleaning at home, writing a sorry card to his teacher asking for forgiveness could make big difference in his

3. life to handle future situations, his teacher might also realize he is from a good family background and
might treat him differently in future too.