Self Confidence & the Job Search

S E L F C O N F I D E N C E
& T H E
J O B S E A R C H
S E L F C O N F I D E N C E * S E L F E F F I C A C Y * S E L F E S T E E M
© Copyright 2018, RochesterWorks! Developed by Job Strategist: Barbara Wilcox

Being mean to yourself got nobody
anywhere, ever.
• Why are we mean to ourselves? (see Secret Weapon slide)
– What does it accomplish?
– What do we gain?
– Does it help us change?
• What does “mean to ourselves” sound like?
– E.x.: “My boss will never listen to me.”
• That’s being mean to yourself. Even if you’re concerned with your boss’ ability to listen … you’re
being mean to yourself by instilling doubt within yourself.
• **How can we rephrase this? What would Jay Block say???

Warm-Up: Building Self
Confidence.
• G - gratitude
• R – result (that you’ve achieved?)
• E – emotion (that you have or that encourages or troubles you)
• A – action (you have taken or would like to take)
• T – treat (you can afford to give yourself easily!)

Barriers to Self Confidence.
Negative self-talk * lack of practice
Catastrophizing * personal image
Perceived lack of goal reaching * no recent “wins”
Perceived or real outdated skills * no gratification
Trauma * comparison
Toxic relationships * upbrining
© Copyright 2018, RochesterWorks! Developed by Job Strategist: Barbara
Wilcox
Negative self-
talk
Catastrophizin
g

Possible Solutions.
Negative self-talk …………………………….....Non-judgmental language, Positive
affirmations.
Catastrophizing ………………………………... Healthy distraction, Rational Thinking, Reframe.
Perceived lack of goal reaching ……………….. SWOT Analysis.
Perceived or real outdated skills ………………. SWOT Analysis.
Trauma ………………………………Therapy, ex: Cognitive Behavioral, Dialectical Behavioral.
Toxic relationships ………………… Circles of Support, Therapy, Hobbies – MeetUps,
Creative Wellness Opportunities Center.
Wilcox

Knowledge is Power.
SELF CONFIDENCE
• Psychology Today: self-confidence is
being able to trust in your abilities
• Healthy Place: self-confidence is
comprised of our self-efficacy & self-
esteem
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201510/self-
confidence-versus-self-esteem
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2012/05/the-difference-
between-self-esteem-and-self-confidence
SELF EFFICACY & SELF ESTEEM
• Healthy Place: self-efficacy is when we
see ourselves mastering skills &
achieving goals in these areas
• Healthy Place: self esteem is how you
feel about yourself overall

B U I L D I N G B LO C K S
O F S E L F
CO N F I D E N C E
• Definitions:
 Building Self Confidence
o - build self-trust
o - set SMART goals & obtain
them
o ** increase your self-efficacy
& self-esteem
 Building Self Efficacy
 - write your resume!
 - practice interviewing!
 Building Self Esteem
 - positive self talk!!
Self-
Confidence –
trusting in your
own abilities
Self-Efficacy - see
ourselves
mastering skills &
achieving goals in
these areas
Self-Esteem - how
you feel about
yourself overall

Secret Weapon.
• Self Compassion: Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-
compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were
supposed to be perfect?, Dr. Kristin Neff (self compassion expert)
• http://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/
– “If you prioritize your own wellbeing, you’ll actually be more productive, creative, resilient, energized, charismatic, and influential. You’ll
have more willpower and be more focused, with less effort,” –Emma Seppala (Science Director of the Center for Compassion and
Research a Education at Stanford University)
– “Many of us think that self-criticism is the road to self-improvement, that we have to be our own worst critic, because that’s the best way
to really become better at what we need to do,” Seppala explains. “But research is showing that self-criticism is basically a way to self-
sabotage, and it’s not something that we’re aware of but research shows that if you are self-critical you’re less likely to be resilient in the
face of challenge. You’re less likely to bounce back in the face of failure.”
– Happiness leads to Success (not the other way around)
• Don’t always focus on that To Do List – live in the moment (Focus on this as a way to distract and goal-set to take the place of
criticism, but not to take the place of living in the moment)
• Increase resilience to reduce stress
– https://www.mindtools.com/blog/turn-off-the-negative-self-talk/
Wilcox

Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D. – “What to
Say when you Talk to Yourself”
1. Programming creates beliefs.
2. Beliefs create attitudes.
3. Attitudes create feelings.
4. Feelings determine actions.
5. Actions create results.
** Most of the Job Search is taking action … we cannot take effective, productive action
if we have negative feelings & attitudes. These need to transform.

Tools to Program Self-Confidence!
Timed healthy distraction (engage as many senses as you can)
Positive Self-Talk (self-compassion)
Non-Judgmental Language
Detox
Replace Negativity
Reward/Encouragement
Analysis & Reflection
**Crisis Action Plan – plan this when you feel positive, energized, & strong
(See examples of each tool on your Workbook handout, p. 2 Box 2)
Wilcox

Putting it all Together.
Self Confidence!
Mindfulness
Negativity - Distract, Ask Courageous Questions, Positive Affirmations
Analysis - SMART Goals, Action Plan
Detox Negativity - Vent it Out

How can we Transform?
SNAP OUT OF IT!
• You feel crappy – interrupt! Interrupt that
thought process. (You might not be able
to rewire it yet, so stop it cold in its tracks.)
– Forbes: do anything healthy that
makes you feel good
– Listen to a song, watch a clip on
YouTube, go for a walk
– **Have an Action Plan for when you
start to slip!
REPROGRAM
• You’re feeling okay – good, now it’s time for the deep
work. You cannot do this when you’re in a slump, so start
on it when you feel good.
Mind Tools:
1. Understand Thought Awareness
o “I Notice Game”
o Stress Diary (so you can recognize/analyze patterns)
2. Develop Rational Thinking
o Ask questions like – Is this true, is it always true, how is it
true?
3. Positive Thinking Exercise
o Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts
o **Affirmations!!
Wilcox

Keep Transforming …
Sometimes we need to replace, as well. And this isn’t just with Affirmations. …
• What would Jay say??
• Who remembers Day 1 – Ask Courageous Questions??
• Instead of saying (i.e. blaming) – Why didn’t I take that job?! Why didn’t I say this during
the interview?! Why didn’t I follow-up!? Will no one hire me because of my age?? Flip
them!
– Why didn’t I take that job – presupposes: __________________________________
– Why didn’t I say this during the interview – becomes: How can I perform to my optimal
potential next time?
– Why didn’t I follow-up – becomes: What plan can I develop to follow-up next time?
– Will no one hire me because of my age – becomes: How can I show I’m the most valuable
candidate no matter my age?

Decompress: there are *a lot* of activities we
can do, it takes a lot of work … what do we need
to make this work for us?
ACTIVITIES –
1. SMART goals
2. SWOT Analysis
3. Asking Courageous Questions
4. Action Plan - Brainstorming activities you can do “in crisis”
5. Positive Affirmations
6. Positive Thinking Exercise (Thought Awareness, Develop Rational Thinking, Positive Thinking)
WHERE THIS FITS INTO OUR LIVES –
 AM routine
 PM routine
 Daily breaks
 Lunch break
 Weekend time

Action Plan & Implementation 
• Complete your Workbook!
• Commit to make this a Lifestyle!
• Allow for “regression” – you will slip up, that’s part of the process.
Wilcox

Self Confidence & the Job Search

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Self Confidence & the Job Search