The Do's and Dont's of Conflict Resolution

1. THE DO’S AND DON’T OF
CONFLICT RESOLUTION

2. The Do’s of Conflict Resolution
 Use Active Listening
 Focus on the problem or
behavior, NOT the person
 Stick to the problem at hand
 Recognize the feelings of others
 Use problem solving skills

3. Use Active Listening
 Put away distractions
 Turn off TV, Cell Phone, etc.
 Put aside distracting thoughts
 “Listen” to the speakers body language
 Don’t mentally prepare to rebuttal
 Nod occasionally
 Provide feedback

4. Focus on the Problem
 What is the biggest roadblock?
 Work together to come up with a solution
 Don’t focus on the person
 Don’t become a hostage to your emotions

5. Stick to the Problem at Hand
 Don’t bring up past failures
 Don’t rehash old issues
 Set boundaries
 Hear both sides of the story
 Be supportive

6. Recognize the Feelings of Others
 Don’t just think about yourself
 Be aware of everyone’s feelings
 Be cautious when discussing
sensitive topics
 Be cautious of who else is around
 Word towards a compromise

7. Use Problem Solving Skills
 Communicate
 Use Positive body language
 Listen
 Open Up
 Clarify or Define the issue at hand
 Set Priorities
 Develop an action plan

8. The Don’t of Conflict Resolution
 Don’t be defensive
 Don’t advise, diagnose, criticize,
reassure or bait
 Don’t be long-winded
 Don’t assume
 Don’t cut off communication

9. Don’t Be Defensive
 Turn criticism into constructive feedback
 Hear the whole message first
 Take a break if the conflict gets too intense
 Praise the other person
 Look for opportunities
 Practice forgiveness
 Seek a Solution

10. Don’t Advise, Diagnose, or Bait
 Don’t place blame
 Never use the phrase “It’s all your fault”
 Don’t try to diagnose someone with a
problem
 Don’t use emotion as bait
 Never make a personal attack
 Never use the baiting technique to place
blame

11. Don’t be Long-Winded
 Cut to the chase / Don’t beat around the bush
 Be directive
 Don’t sugar coat the conflict
 Don’t avoid conflict
 Only discuss the details to the conflict
 Stay focused on the conflict at hand
 Be communicative

12. Don’t Assume
 Don’t Judge
 Assuming can lead to Prejudice and
Confusion
 Assuming is Ignorance
 Allow that fact to be discovered
 Assuming can lead to Humiliation
 Assuming will only complicate conflict
 Assuming can kill any trust established

13. Don’t Cut Off Communication
 Control cuts off communication
 Don’t cut off communication if you disagree
 Solve what conflict can be solved within the
boundaries set
 Don’t become distracted by others things
 Be open and willing to talk things out
 Show positive body language