Dawn Herring, LMFT gave a presentation on Quality of Life: Self-Care

1. Self-Care Strategies & Passionate
Pursuits
May 6, 2017
Quality of Life:

2. “To keep a lamp burning, we have to
keep putting oil in it.”
Mother Theresa
Inspiration

3. To give participants a time and place
to explore their own self-care
strategies, passionate pursuits and
develop strategies to enhance these
as desired.
Goal

4. Objectives:
 Participants will be able to
identify 3 self-care strategies.
 Participants will be able to
identify one passionate
pursuit.
 Participants will be able to
create a plan of action to
better meet overall self-care.

5. Definitions
 Self-Care: Actions or thoughts executed to
maintain quality of life and well-being.
 Self-Compassion: Offering ourselves kindness and
self-awareness without judgment.
 Passionate Pursuits: Activities engaged in that
bring purpose and meaning, joy, the quick passing
of time, a sense of contentment, accomplishment
and/or pride.

6. Why is this important?
 Our self-care strategies directly
impact our quality of life.
CSRF article, p.10-11, Spring 2017 newsletter

7. Self-care Strategies Overview
 Cognitive
 Behavioral
 Spiritual
 Interpersonal

8. Cognitive
 “The mind is everything. What you
think you become.” Buddha

9. Cognitive
 As we consider self-care, we must be able
to imagine wellness again, in fact, to
spend time daily thinking about and
feeling it in our bodies.

10. Cognitive Strategies
 Positive Self-talk for anxiety and
depression v.s. negative automatic
thoughts such as:
 “all or nothing” thinking
 “shoulding”
 “jumping to conclusions”
 “mind-reading”
 “emotional reasoning”
 -From Feeling Good book-David Burns

11. Cognitive Strategies
 Self-compassion: “Comforting and
caring for ourselves.”
 Three components Kristen Neff PhD self-compassion.org
 Self-kindness v.s. judgment
 Common humanity v.s. isolation
We are all in this together. Everyone has struggles.
 Mindfulness v.s. over-identification
I am aware of how I feel. However, I am NOT my illness.
I refuse to let it define me.

12. Cognitive Strategies
 Create a Gratitude Journal, capturing
any healing changes in your body and
mind, helpful coping strategies and
relationships.

13. Cognitive Strategies
 Identify real or imagined Nurturing,
Protective, and Wise figures and
imagine them surrounding you in a
circle, available for consultation and
support as needed.
Tapping In book by Laurel Parnell, Ph.D.

14. Cognitive Strategies
 Mental training alone can
build muscle.
“Mind Over Matter: Mental Training
Increases Physical Strength.”
article By Shackell and Standing

15. Cognitive Strategies
 Mindfulness: Awareness of our
body, emotions and thought
“BET” without judgment.
 Goal: Stop the circular
thinking.
 Mantra: “I am capable”.

16. Behavioral Strategies
 Physical activity: gentle movement
focused on breath and calming, i.e. yoga,
any bilateral stimulation may calm the
body such as walking and biking.
 Eating well and taking helpful
supplements recommended by your Dr.
 Good sleep hygiene without the use of
electronics for 2 hours prior to bed.
 Medication compliance.

17. Behavioral Strategies
 Body Language awareness
and adjustment. Research by
Amy Cuddy reflects that two
minutes of “power poses”:
 increased testosterone by 20%
 decreased salivary cortisol by 25%

18. Behavioral Strategies
 While we have no idea the impact of this
on Cushings patients, it is worth noting
that how we feel about ourselves
impacts our body language, which may
affect hormones.

19. Behavioral Strategies
 Amy Cuddy recommends:
“Fake it ‘til you make it and become it”.
 Two “Power Poses”:
 Wonder woman
 “V” pose for victory

20. Spiritual Strategies
 If you wait until the wind and the weather
are just right, you will never plant
anything and never harvest anything.”
Ecclesiastes 11:4

21. Spiritual Strategies
 Having a belief in something larger than
oneself is a factor in resilience and quality of
life, as well as a component of self-care.

22. Spiritual Strategies
 Often, when people have faith, this allows them
to believe they will heal and, in fact, begin to
feel more hopeful and well.

23. Spiritual Strategies
 Purpose and Meaning are essential to thriving
rather than just surviving.
 “Humans don’t mind hardship, in fact they
thrive on it; what they mind is not feeling
necessary.” Sebastian Junger from Tribe

24. Spiritual Strategies
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference…”
Reinhold Niebuhr

25. Spiritual Strategies
“Practice the pause.
When in doubt, pause.
When angry, pause.
When tired, pause.
When stressed, pause.
And when you pause, pray.” Unknown author

26. Interpersonal Strategies
Focus on connecting with people who
give you “TESHD”:
 Touch
 Eye contact
 Seen accurately
 Heard accurately
 Delighted in

27. Interpersonal Strategies
Focus on connecting with people
who give you “ARP”:
• Available
• Reliable
• Prioritize you

28. Interpersonal Strategies
“Rarely does a response make
something better. What makes
something better is connection.”
Brene Brown “On Empathy” TED Talk

29. Interpersonal Strategies
Research shows that connection
with others can decrease pain.
Find a supportive network, either
online or in person.

30. Passionate Pursuits
 Ask, “What gives me purpose and
meaning, joy and contentment, and a
sense of accomplishment today?”
 “What makes time fly?”

31. Passionate Pursuits
 Engage in these activities as able, with
your “new normal”, remembering your
self-compassion.

32. Passionate Pursuits
 Involve others.
 “Share with people who have earned the
right to hear your story.” Brene Brown

33. In Summary
 Continue to care for yourself, daily, in
little ways.
 Be kind, be compassionate, be creative,
be forgiving. You are making a
difference every day.

34. Resources
Resources to calm the body and mind and assist with depression and anxiety
• Tapping In, book by Laurel Parnell
• EFT Manual, book by Gary Craig
• Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy, book by David Burns
• www.Self-compassion.org Kristen Neff PhD
• “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are” TED talk Amy Cuddy(20:00)
• Yoga Nidra meditations (numerous) by Tripura Mandala on YouTube for sleep and stress management
• www.emdria.org for EMDR therapists
• Therapists.psychologytoday.com for therapists
Resources for Relationships
• The Seven Principless for Making Marriage Work Book by John Gottman
• The Gottman Institute www.gottman.com for couples
• “It’s not about the Nail” YouTube video (1:41) for couples communication
• “Brene Brown on empathy”, animated YouTube video (2:53)
Resources for Support System
• Option B Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy book by Sandberg and Grant
• www.butyoudontlooksick.com website “spoon theory” to help explain Cushings to loved ones.