Sims 3 chapter 15

The Good, the Bad, and the Uglacy,
Chapter 15,
Invasion of the Dormies

When we last left the Good, the Bad, and the Uglacy, our heir had finally started college.
However dorm living was not all it was cracked up to be. There was no cafeteria worker
as in Sims 2, and the dorm’s kitchen was a constant disaster of fires and messes.
These dormies are pigs, seriously. A bunch of nasty heathens.

“I can’t take this anymore, Jeanette. I’m exhausted from cleaning the kitchen and
cooking all the time. What the hell is wrong with these people. Did they grow up
in a cave?”
“Maybe we should get a maid?”
“We don’t have any money because my stupid brother took it all when he moved
out. But I have an idea…”

Another Broomhilda! We barely can afford her and it might have been a good
idea, only Jeanette is apparently a big coward.
“OH my gosh, a skeleton, there’s a skeleton in the kitchen! Run for your life!”
Broomhilda: “Really, this from a zombie? What a drama queen.”

“HELP, HELP, KILLER SKELETON MAID IN MY KITCHEN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!”
Jeanette ran out of the dorm and down the street like her butt was on fire, so we had to get rid of
Broomhilda. But then something interesting happened.

After being kicked out by Jeanette, Broomhilda exacts revenge by calling Josey for a date!
Well of course I made him say yes, which after I googled it and this is apparently a very
bad thing to do. It’s a glitch that can kill your game.
At first it looked like there was all this chemistry and I wondered, can Broomhilda woohoo?
Is that even possible? It gives new meaning to jumping her bones.

But all they did was stare at each and have weird thought bubbles. Broomhilda can’t interact at
all. Talk about a “dead” date.
Josey’s Thoughts: “I’m so ashamed I technically cheated on Jeanette for this.
Broomhilda’s Thoughts: “It’s freezing out here. Of course I don’t have skin and nerve endings…
but yea, it’s cold.”

Jeanette, meanwhile, was refining her social networking skills by screaming at people.
“HEY YOU! LISTEN UP. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. YOU HAVEA VOICE!
IT’S TIME TO BE HEARD!”
“Lady, turn down the caps. I’m right here.”

“YOU THERE, PAY ATTENTION! IF YOU DON’T STAND FOR SOMETHING,
YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING!”
“Ugh, can you get that mega horn out of my ear, you idiot!”

“Everyone, listen up. It’s time to protest and make a difference. We need to seek out bigger
issues than ourselves. We need to make a mark upon the world. We need to unite and make our
voices heard. Let us fight the biggest evil in this world… yes, I mean CLOWNS! Is there
anything worse then these Birthday Party crashing Trolls?!”
Semi enraged Mob: “DOWN WITH CLOWNS, DOWN WITH CLOWNS!”

“DON’T LISTEN TO HER! THIS IS CLOWN PREJUDICE. CLOWNS ARE JUST LIKE YOU
AND ME, THEY HAVE RIGHTS TOO!”
Moderately enraged mob now: “Boo, hiss, hiss, you clown lover, don’t make us beat
you with our anti-clown signs!”
Jeanette: “Please people, please, this is a peaceful demonstration. We can’t hit him.
Does anyone have any tomatoes we can throw at him?”

And with that, the protest went on a whole 30 minutes.
“DOWN WITH CLOWNS, DOWN WITH CLOWNS! THEY PREY ON THE
INNOCENCE OF CHILDREN. AND THEIR SHOES ARE TOO BIG, AND THEIR
PANTS ARE TOO BAGGY, AND THEY HAVE NO FASHION SENSE! WHO RIDES
UNICYCLES ANYMORE! THEY ARE A SCOURGE ON SOCIETY!”

“PUT THE SIGN DOWN, YOU CLOWN BIGOT.”
“Why don’t you just go buy a rainbow wig and hang out with them, clown lover!”
“DON’T MAKE ME TURN MY MEGA HORN UP, CAUSE I WILL!”

Crowd of college morons: “WOW Jeanette, you’re awesome! Thanks for opening our eyes to
the evil of clowns.”
“No problem fellow students. I know we made a difference. Especially since it’s dark and there
is absolutely no one here but us. And please tune in to my daily blog. Tomorrow I will be
discussing the dangers of garden gnomes, the insidious little creatons.”

The useless Dormies were becoming a real issue. They were sucking Jeanette and Josey’s
energy bars down by their constant slobbiness. Kitchen fires were all the rage since none
of them knew how to cook, but everyone wanted to anyway.
“OH, look a dishwasher. I wonder what that does?”

And so Josey rode his bike down to the Student Advisory building and simply asked for more
funding, and they gave him like 4000 simoleons, and then Jeanette went down there and got
4000 and something more.
Cause you know, colleges just love to hand out free money. And after about two
semesters of scamming money, they were able to move away from dormie hell.

And in typical legacy fashion, they bought the biggest college lot they could find. Apparently
one dormie came along for the ride, but hey, it’s just one, right? How bad can
that be?
Sims 3 does not really offer a Greek House option, although you can set it to a fraternity or
sorority but then Josey and Jeanette couldn’t live together and I would have to play two
separate houses, so screw that. I just set it for resident.

Josey and Jeanette couldn’t be happier.
Jeanette: “Oh yay, now I can focus on my social blogging instead of picking up dirty dishes, and
work on my lifetime want to be a Blog Artist.”
Josey: “Now I can focus on my medical degree to get my lifetime want to be a top jockey.”
Er, what???

Of course they had a tight budget, but were able to erect a small, humble house
with the basic furnishings.
Josey: “I don’t care. This is so much better without all the dormies.”
“OH wow, this is a crappy dorm. There’s no wallpaper.”
“It’s not a dorm Chloe. It’s a house. And you insisted on being here.”

And when we say basic furnishing, I do mean basic. It was just a one
bedroom home with a tiny bathroom. But alas, no dormies!

And this is Chloe’s bed, heh heh. Comfy, no?

Nah, feeling kind of bad, we build Chloe a closet room, which Jeanette immediately hogs for some
alone time.
“Ahhh, peace and quiet… at long last.”

“I love having our own place, Josey! Now I can draw you in the nude.”
“Yea, well I can step back if you want me to. You know, so you can get it all…”
“No, I’ve got it. In fact, if you’re cold we could turn up the heat…”

Chloe immediately takes to trashing the kitchen and wasting groceries.
Whatever. Its just one sim, not six.
“Um you better check again, lady. In the living room, just behind me.”

I thought did my sims have a party without my knowledge? Are these the neighbors visiting? How rude
that they we just enter the house…uninvited.
“Check again… We’re the new dormies! I’m starving, when do we eat?!”
Say what? This is a residential lot… Res-i-den-tial… say it with me.

“Er, who are you?”
“I’m your new roommate. That you didn’t invite. I followed you from the dorm.”
Okay, okay, so four roommates popped up. No need to panic, right?

And then there were 8 people in the house, all uninvited.
“Wow, I hope they make me some food soon, I’m starving.”
ARGGH! GET OUT ALL OF YOU! I’m just going to get Josey and Jeanette to move
these moochers out pronto. No problemo.

“Yea, it’s been nice knowing you and all Chloe, but I think you might have brought
all these losers with out. It’s not us, it’s you. So like… get out.”
“ I curse you Josey Uglacy. You will never be free of the dormie curse.”
“Uh, what?”

“Well, that’s the last one, whew. Now we can finally enjoy our privacy.”

5 minutes later… “Wow, check out the new digs, this is great!”
“I call dibs on the double bed!”
This is when I paused my game and said oh shit. I had Jeanette and Josey ask them to leave, but for
every roomie that left, another one popped up in their place. I kid you not, I COULD NOT GET RID
OF THEM. 6 of them to equal 8, taking up the whole household. We kept telling them to leave.
For every one that left, another dormie came.

And they came, and
they came…
No matter
how many times
we told them to leave.
This is not a community
lot or a dorm, so what the
hell?

So we tried another approach, like influencing them to clean.
“Listen Andrea, can you at least vacuum the place?”
“What’s a vacuum? Say can you decorate this place a little more? My environment score is taking a hit.”

Josey gave it his best shot too.
“So um, can you clean up your dish… like there is too many dirty dishes in here.”
Vacant look, crickets chirping, no one is home.

“We’re not ever getting away from this are we?”
No. *sob* We’re not. The only good thing was that the dormies did bring some money, so
we could build, buy more tables, and beds, and crap to cater to them. Because obviously
one bathroom wasn’t going to cut it.

We were forced to build a dorm. Ok, it looks a bit barnish, but it is the Cartwright family. I’m
surprised there’s not chickens and pigs in the back yard.
This is what those moochers get for making me build…

Okay, technically the dormies were not moochers. They actually brought $ 125,649 simoleans
with them. Maybe because we took some of their money and booted them out. BUT no one
asked them to move in! Anyway, here’s an obligatory downstairs view… tons of open space
because these morons will get stuck and have routing issues if you don’t keep things very basic.

2nd Floor View
And here is all the bedrooms so they don’t whine about sleep… and stuff like that.

And our huge pool, because to hell with it, if these idiots want to give me all their
money, I’m spending it. And I don’t think it’s cheating, because I haven’t seen any
rules to what happens when a kazillion dormies try to invade your property.
Screw you EA. Give me lemons, and I’ll make lemonade!

Not that the money came without a price.
“OH geesh, what the hell did they make on this counter!”
Time for brillo pads, or maybe a blow torch, not sure.

Poor Jeanette, her anxiety was growing, she was having panic attacks and nightmares
about the dishwater breaking.
“Arrrgh, I’ll be washing dishes for all of eternity!”

“Bunch of pigs! And why are there 10 batches of pancakes every morning and
someone has to cook again!”
Because they want their own special pancakes. That they leave. On the counters.
Untouched and uneaten.

*sob* “I JUST CLEANED THIS KITCHEN!”
It was never ending story… but it didn’t have fluffy creatures. Just inconsiderate jerks.

Blog for Today: Moochy, ungrated dormies! Our animals on the farm were cleaner!
I am seriously going to hurt someone. If I find one more fricking dish…”
Inserts twenty mad emojis with knives in-between.

“Zzzzz, mmm, disgusting dormies… so tired… no, not the dishwater, drrroools.”
Sadly, both Josey and Jeanette were exhausted and it was ruining college for them.
They had become the cafeteria worker that EA forgot. *Glares at EA*

“Oh my God, Liz, I can’t believe you never study. You need to contribute here,
and leave lots of books out so someone else can clean them up for you!”
“Don’t mind me not able to get breakfast cause you jerks won’t move away from the counter!
The counter of MY house, I might add.”

“I can’t believe she’s saying I don’t do my part. Did you see what I did t0 the counters
yesterday. That was almost a work of art, if I do say so myself.”
“HOW long can these fricking people talk, I can’t get to the stove!”
“Do you hear something, is that zombie girl whining again? Gads. Stop interrupting our
extremely important conversations with your need for food. Who cooks in a kitchen anyway?”

“Let’s stand here a while longer, make her settle for cereal, haha.”
“I AM GOING TO HIT SOMEONE WITH THIS PAN!”

“Hmm, that stupid Ellen saying I don’t do my part. I’ll show her, here’s some rotten pop tarts to add to
the décor!”

“I’m starving, feed me!”
“There’s some pop tarts in the kitchen, bitch.”

“ Hey Harry, we’ve been best friends for a while and I was thinking, if I have to have
roommates, why don’t you move in? You have the most friends on campus and you
throw awesome parties.”
“Sure dude, I’m tired of living with Rex Lovelace anyway. That old vampire stink is getting to
me.”
I don’t even want to know what kind of arrangement he and Rex Lovelace had. Harry the fairy,
seriously EA? NO guys, I did not name him. Meet Harold Assauge. Harry’s Ass?

Harry is seriously a party fairy… he had more parties on campus then anyone.
Then he apparently spikes the booze with “fairy dust” or date rape concoction. His first
night as a roommate and he wants to throw a “pool” party.

“OH Harry, you throw the best parties. I love pool parties.”
“Too bad it’s the middle of winter and we can’t use the pool, baby, but you can swim in my
glow all night long…”
“Oh Harry, your future’s so bright, I’ve got to wear shades.”
Eww.

“Hey baby, time to board the Harry Express, Choo Choo.”
*Does pelvic thrust*

“Dang it, can you move already?! I want to get to the keg.”
“No can do green boy. I’m admiring that buff piece of man over there.”
Enough was enough, I had had it Jeanette had had it.

“Listen, move the hell of the way and can you at least clean up after yourself. I’m not your maid!”
“Well that’s your job, isn’t it. You run this dorm.”
“Technically, this was never supposed to be a dorm, and no one invited you here.”
“Well too damn bad, I say it’s your job you zombie Cinderella.”

Jeanette: “YOU fricking nasty slob, I am sick of cleaning up your messes!”
Slob Dormie: “OH yeah, bring it sister!”
Harry: “Haha, chick fight. I hope they rip some clothes off.”

“ Wow, I could really go for some chicken right now.”
“That short hair girl is cute.”
Focus people, focus… there’s a fight!

“Arrgh!”
Buff dude: “Durr. Man I think that zombie girl just got her butt handed to her.”
Well isn’t he Captain Obvious.

“Let that be a lesson to you, Cinderella. You’re my bitch till I say otherwise.”
Damn, we need to work on body points, Jeanette.

So there is more to this story. Harry was the instigator. He dared Jeanette to kick her
room mates ass. Not that she didn’t want to already.
“Ah, my work here is done. Besides, I just told Jeanette to get a back bone.”
A fairy causing drama… like I didn’t see that one coming. Tinkerbell always was a bitch.
Face it folks.

So finally I just gave in and paid for a maid for the house through the college funding.
It was well worth it, so Josey and Jeanette could do something besides take care of
ungrateful dormies. Like actually graduate.

And blogging useless crap.
“I can’t believe that she witch called me Cinderella. Well if that is so, then she is
obviously the ugly, loser, step sister. That’s right, girlfriend… you wannabe Cinderella.”
Actually blogging about fighting achieved our most followers yet, but sadly this is a hard
goal, at least for me. We are at 75 followers or so.

“Oh my gawd, Jeanette. I just wanted to let you know how I related to your blog on
roommate bullying. My dormies are the worse, always making fun of me and my purple
latex gloves and guerilla posture.”
“Er well thanks, always great to hear from fans such as yourself. Now leave me the hell
alone, you wierdo.”

“That was a great party last night. Let’s have another one! NO one can get enough of
this fairy action. *pelvic thrust*
No Harry. Now put some clothes on, for the love of boolprop.

“Now I know it’s probably going to be hard for you to be faithful to Josey with me around…”
“No Harry, not really.”
“”I just want you to know that he is my best friend, and I would never do that to him. No
matter how much you begged me. Even if you threw yourself at me… naked, and willing.”
“I think I can control myself, Harry. Now can you let me finish my waffles in peace?”

True Story- Josey and Jeanette actually have a strong physical attraction, and always
have the love moodlet around one another.
I don’t think I’ve had any Sims 3 couple that was this attracted to one another. It’s so sweet.

“Oh if someone could only love me that way…”
Um, can you stop photo bombing my romantic pictures? Go buy some new latex gloves or
something.

Well at least Josey is working hard at school…
“Hmmm, which button to push... maybe I should actually study or check my text book.
Nah, I’ll just do it the old fashion way. Innie, meenie, innie, moe, catch a tiger by the
toe…”

“Excuse me, Josey. You are supposed to be working diligently on your skeleton anatomy
project, not playing hacky sack.”
“In a minute, Teach. If you lived with my roommates from hell, you would need to
get your fun where you could.”
“*sigh* I did not get a master’s degree in simology and anatomy for this.”

“Hahaha, he just tore his own leg off and he’s gnawing it. You go skeletor!”
“Nnumnumnumnumnum. Hey, heard you dated my Aunt Broomhilda, kid.”

“ Last warning Mr. Uglacy!”
“Ok, ok Teach. Look, I got a skill bar and everything.”
“Gads, educate young minds, they said. It will be rewarding, they said. I should have
rethought that lifetime want.”

A vampire, a fairy, and a plant sim all go into a bar…
This is the start of a bad joke.

“Attention everyone! I am going to present my Senior Thesis… drumroll please…”

Uh, ok… wow, 4 years of college for that?

Finally, the day of Josey’s graduation came. Jeanette didn’t really get to graduate
because I changed her major too many times. As he headed off for his graduation,
he was tragically killed by an ice cream truck… ok, no that didn’t really happen.
“PEDAL, JOSEY, PEDAL LIKE THE WIND!”

What did happen was almost as bad…
Graduations are always overcrowded cluster fudges… even in real life. But Sims 3 took it
to a whole new level. Josey was actually able to invite his mom and dad. And they
did come to the college to see him graduate.

Where they literally waited in the rain, for hours, and hours, and hours…

Into the wee hours of the night, where a few students actually got to
graduate but Josey was never called.
“Bummer man, 4 years for nothing.”
At this point, Josey was about to piss himself and starve to death, so we
just left. Hopefully the game recognizes him as graduated, no idea.

“Man, it’s good to be home. I want to plant some yellow seeds.”
Uh, ok then. So with that, let’s end this chapter, but I have a surprise
for next time. So come on back, ya all. But until then, Happy Simming!

Sims 3 chapter 15

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