1. WHY DO
MARRIED
PEOPLE HAVE
AFFAIRS?

2. • WHAT IS AN AFFAIR? USUALLY AN AFFAIR CONSISTS OF TWO
PEOPLE WHO BECOME INVOLVED IN AN EXTRA MARITAL
RELATIONSHIP THAT COMBINES SEXUAL LOVEMAKING WITH
FEELINGS OF DEEP LOVE. HOWEVER IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE
AN AFFAIR THAT INVOLVES ONLY LOVEMAKING OR ONLY THE
FEELING OF LOVE TOWARDS SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF
MARRIAGE. THE FIRST ONE CAN BE EASILY DEALT WITH
THAN THE LAST ONE.

3. • HOW AFFAIRS USUALLY START. AN AFFAIR USUALLY BEGINS
AS A FRIENDSHIP. YOUR SPOUSE MAY NOT KNOW THE
PERSON WHO EVENTUALLY BECOMES YOUR LOVER MAY BE
ONE OF THE BEST FRIENDS TO YOUR FAMILY. OR YOUR
LOVER MAY BE SOMEONE YOU HAVE MET AT
WORK, CHURCH, LIVE IN SAME FLATS, OR AT A COMMUNITY
FUNCTION.

4. • CONVERSATION DRAWS YOU TOGETHER. AT FIRST, YOU TALK
ABOUT VARIOUS TOPICS OF COMMON INTERESTS, BUT OVER
TIME, YOU BEGIN TO SHARE PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH
EACH OTHER. AS YOU SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER, YOU
DISCUSS MORE INTIMATE PROBLEMS AND EVENTUALLY THE
PROBLEMS YOU DISCUSS REFLECT UNMET EMOTIONAL
NEEDS. AS YOURFRIENSHIP DEEPENS YOU START GIVING
EACH OTHER MUTUAL SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT
ESPECIALLY IN REGARD TO YOUR UNMET NEEDS. THEN AN
ATTRACTION TOWARDS EACH OTHER BEGINS. SOON OR
LATER, YOU FIND YOURSELF IN BED WITH THE PERSON.

5. • VERY OFTEN THE FRIENDSHIP THAT GROWS INTO AN AFFAIR
IS VERY ILLOGICAL. IT IS BASICALLY EMOTIONAL. IT IS BASED
ON FANTASY. AS YOU AND YOUR LOVER PLAN WHERE AND
WHEN TO MEET FOR PASSIONATE SESSIONS OF
LOVEMAKING, YOU LEAVE THE REALITIES OF EVERYDAY
LIVING BEHIND. YOU DO NOT THINK BEYOND YOUR
PASSIONS. YOUR COMMON SENSE IS DEAD.

6. • CAN IT HAPPEN TO YOU? AN AFFAIR CAN HAPPEN TO ANY
ONE, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU AND ME, TO ANY MAN TO ANY
WOMAN. IT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO DO NOT GO TO
CHURCH, AND IT ALSO HAPPENS TO VERY COMMITTED
CHRISTIANS. IT HAPPENS TO THE HONORABLES AND TO THE
PEOPLE IN SLUMS. IT HAPPENS TO RELIGIOUS LEADERS AND
TO NEW CONVERTS. WATCH OUT.

7. • MARITAL UNFAITHFULNESS IS VERY COMMON TODAY..
ACCORDING TO WHAT I HAVE LEARNT FROM MY MANY
SEMINARS CONDUCTED ANNUALLY COUNTRY WIDE TO BOTH
THE ADVENTISTS AND CHRISTIANS FROM OTHER
CHURCHES, MARRIED MEN AND WOMEN, EVEN THE SO
CALLED THE SAVED, THE CONVERTED, THE BORN AGAIN
HAVE LOTS OF SEXUAL AFFAIRS. MEN DO IT MORE THAN
WOME. BUT WITH WHO?

8. • EVEN FROM WHAT WE SEE, READ AND HEAR FROM
DIFFERENT MEDIA CHANNELS, MOST OF NEW HIV
“CUSTOMERS” ARE IN MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP. BUT WHY
SHOULD A MARRIED MAN OR WOMAN WANT TO HAVE
EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS? WHY SHOULD A MARRIED MAN
LIKE YOU AND A MARRIED WOMAN LIKE YOU, GO OUT FOR
EXTRA SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WHILE YOUR SPOUSE IS
AVAILABE? LET US LOOK AT POSSIBLE CAUSES. WE BEGIN BY
LOOKING AT WHAT MARRIAGE IS AND ITS REASONS.

9. •WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT
BETWEEN A MAN AND A
WOMAN, TO BE JOINED
TOGETHER AS A HUSBAND
FOR THE REST OF THEIR
LIVES.

10. •THE BIBLE GIVES
US THREE MAIN
REASONS FOR
MARRIAGE

11. •FIRST, FOR
COMPANIONSHIP,
GEN 2:18

12. •2. FOR
REPRODUCTION OR
PROPAGATION OF THE
HUMAN RACE, GEN
1:28

13. •THIRD FOR
SEXUAL
RELATIONSHIP,
1CORN 7:1-5.

14. •THE PURPOSE OF
SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP
IN MARRIAGE
COVENANT IS FOUR
FOLD,NAMELY:

15. •1. FOR
REPRODUCTION,
PROPAGATION OF THE
HUMAN RACE, GEN
1;28, 38:8-10

16. •2. FOR ONENESS, FOR
DEEP AND MEANINGFUL
INTIMACY, GEN 2:24,
4:1, 1SAM 1:19

17. •3. FOR PLEASURE, GIVING THE
PARTNER, SEXUAL
ENJOYMENT, AND LIKEWISE
RECEIVING SEXUAL PLEASURE
FROM PATNER. DEUTR
24:5, GEN 18:12, PROVER
5:15-19, ECCLE 9:9

18. •4. AS THE MEANS
OF AVOIDING
ADULTERY. 1 CORN
7:2.

19. •BUT HOW COME MARRIED
PEOPLE , SOME QUITE
YOUNG COUPLES HAVE
AFFAIRS? SOME OF THE
REASONS WOULD INCLUDE:

20. •1. LACK OF
SEXUAL SERVICES
AT HOME FROM
THE SPOUSE.

21. •2. INSUFFICENT
SEXUAL
FULFILLMENT
FROM THE SPOUSE.

22. • 3. A FORMED HABIT BEFORE
MARRIAGE. HERE EITHER THE
HUSBAND OR THE WIFE, BEFORE
GETTING MARRIED WAS
ACCUSTOMED TO HAVING MANY SEX
PARTNERS. WHEN HE/SHE GOT
MARRIED, THE ONE PARTNER
CANNOT SATISFY THE ALREADY
FORMED SEXUAL HABITS.

23. •4. JUST IMMORALITY ON THE
SIDE OF THE UNFAITHFUL.
HERE THE WIFE OR THE
HUSBAND MAY DO THE BEST
TO SATISFY THE PARTNER, BUT
ALL THE SAME THE PERSON
GOES OUT.

24. •5. TRYING TO FIND
OUT IF OTHER MEN
OR WOMEN ARE THE
SAME TO THE SPOUSE
IN MATTERS OF SEX.

25. • 6. IF IT IS A WOMAN, MAY BE THAT
THE HUSBAND HAS LEFT HER WITH
NOTHING TO LIVE ON AND ALL THE
BURDENS OF THE CHILDREN ARE
OVER HER HEAD. SHE RESULTS FO
AFFAIRS WITH A MAN WHO MAY
FINANCIALLY OR MATERIALLY
SUPPORT HER.

26. •LONG SEPERATION FROM
THE SPOUSE EITHER DUE TO
JOB OR EDUCATION THAT
MAKES ONE SEXUALLY
STERVED AND HENCE
ENTERS AND YIELDS INTO
TEMPTATIONS

27. •POOR OR BAD DAILY
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE
SPOUSES. THIS MAKES THE MAN
OR THE WOMAN NOT TO BE
AROUSED SEXUALLY TO THE
PARTNER, HENCE GOING TO
OTHER PEOPLE FOR SEXUAL
SERVICES.

28. •WHAT ARE THE
POSSIBLE
CONSEQUENSES OF
SEXUAL AFFAIRS

29. •1. IT IS BREAKING
GOD’S EXPLICIT
COMMANDMENT.
EXODUS 20:14

30. •2. IT TERRIBLY DAMANGES
MARRIAGES AND IN MANY
CASES BREAKING THEM
EITHER THROUGH DIVORCE,
SEPERATION OR
DESERTION.

31. •3. IT LEAVES THE
FAITHFUL PARTNER
SEXUALLY STERVED
AND DEPRIVED.

32. •4. IT MAY LEAD TO
UNWANTED
PREGNANCY, THAT MAY
LEAD THE WOMAN TO
ABORT, OR HAVE UN
WANTED CHILD.

33. •5. THE MAN OR THE
WOMAN OR BOTH MAY BE
KILLED IF FOUND BY THE
HUSBAND OF THE
INVOLVED WIFE OR
HUSBAND.

34. •6. IT KILLS THE SPIRITUAL LIFE
COMPLETELY. ONE SURE WAY OF
A PERSON WHOSE SPIRITUAL
LIFE HAS TERRIBLY DESCENDED
IS THE WAY HE/SHE RELATES TO
SEXUAL MATTERS OUTSIDE
MARRIAGE COVENANT.

35. •7. SOME MEN CHANNEL
THEIR RESOURCES FROM
THEIR WIVES TO THE NEW
SEX PARTNERS, THUS
LEAVING HIS FAMILY
STERVING.

36. •8 THE FIATHFUL WIFE
MAY EVEN BE
MISTREATED, PHYSICALLY
ABUSED OR EVEN KILLED
BY THE SENSELESS
UNFAITHFUL HUSBAND.

37. •9. THE UNFAITHFUL
SPOUSE MAY CONTRACT
HIV/AIDS, TRANSMIT IT
TO THE WIFE, THUS
KILLING BOTH OF THEM

38. •WHAT SHOULD
COUPLES AND
SPOUSES DO TO
AVOID AN AFFAIR?

39. •1. EACH ONE OF
THEM SHOULD
KNOW THAT IT IS
SIN AGAINST GOD.

40. •2. HAVE ENOUGH
SEX WITH YOUR
SPOUSE. 1CORN
7:3-4

41. •3. DISCUSS YOUR
SEXUAL CHALLENGES
WITH YOUR SPOUSE,
WITH INTENTIONS OF
IMPROVING IT

42. •4. WIVES SHOULD KEEP
THEMSELVES AS
CLEAN, SMART AND
ATTRACTIVE TO THE
HUSBAND AS
POSSIBLE, WITHOUT
BREAKING CHRISTIAN

43. 5 BOTH THE SPOUSES
.
SHOULD MAINTAIN
ROMANTIC LOVE TO
EACH OTHER AS MUCH
AS POSSIBLE.

44. •6. RELATING TO YOUR
SPOUSE SEXUALLY IN
DIFERENT PLACES,
STYLES AND TIMES.

45. •7. BEING FREE AND
OPEN TO YOUR
SPOUSE IN ALL
THINGS IN YOUR
RELATIONSHIP

46. • 8. BEING DEEPLY COMMITTED
CHRISTIANS, WORSHIPPING GOD
TRULY, AND LIVING PRACTICALLY
WHAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE THE
GOSPEL TRUTH. GENIUNE
CHRISTIANS ENJOY SEX MORE
THAN NORMINAL CRISTIANS.

47. • 9. NEVER KEEPING A GRUDGE
ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE. WHEN
HE/SHE HAS SINNED AGAINST
YOU, DISCUSS AND SOLVE THE
ISSUE. THEN YOU FORGIVE AND
FORGET. YOUR PEACE IS
RESTORED AND YOU CAN HAVE
GOOD SEX.

48. •NEVER KEEPING ANY
GRUDGE TO ANY PERSON
AND MORE TO THE
MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY
FROM YOUR SPOUSE’S
SIDE.