1.
የ2014 ዓ.ም ባለትዳሮች በዓል ላይ የቀረበ
ROLE OF HEALTHY COMMUNICATION IN
SUSTAINABILITY OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
BY DR. BEREKET ATOMSA
JANUARY, 2022
ASSOSA, ETHIOPIA
1
MISSION FOR NATION INTERNATIONAL
CHURCH ASSOSA BRANCH

2.
1. INTRODUCTION
Healthy communication in marriage can be
understood in two ways:
It is the ability to speak to your partner about
the things that are in your mind and heart.
It is the ability to listen to your partner and
understand the things that are in their mind and
heart.
2

3.
1 INTRODUCTION(CONT….)
One review scripture: Proverbs 18:21
“death and life are in the power of the
tongue.”
• We have great power to either encourage
or harm through the words that we speak
to our marriage partner. 3

4.
1. INTRODUCTION(CONT….)
Healthy communication is related to heart
attitudes.
We can inject poison and death into
our communication.
OR we can inject blessing and life into
our communication. 4

5.
2. UNHEALTHY COMMUNICATION
ጤናማ ያልሆነ ንግግር
Five heart attitudes that will always inject poison
and death into our communication and marriage
2.1 ESCAPISM
 2.2 RATIONALIZATION
2.3 PROJECTION
2.4 .PRIDE
2.5 ANGER.
5

6.
2.1 ESCAPISM ከእዉነታዉ ለመሸሽ መሞከር
Escapism means that I try to hide.
a. This attitude is demonstrated in
Genesis 3:7-10
After the fall Adam and Eve cover
themselves with fig leaves – they hid from
each other and God. 6

7.
2.1 ESCAPISM(CONT…)
There are many ways that we can try to
escape communication in our marriage.
Here are some of the ways: work, ministry,
sleep, avoiding our partner.
Escapism basically tries to ignore a
problem that needs to be talked about. 7

8.
2.2 RATIONALIZATION ምክንያታዊ ማድረግ
Rationalization means that I try to make
excuses.
This attitude is demonstrated in 1 Samuel
15:9 and 13:15.
It is an attempt to avoid saying that I’m
wrong. Instead,
I’ll find an excuse that sounds like the truth. 8

9.
2.2 RATIONALIZATION(CONT…)
 This is what King Saul does in the above-mentioned
scripture.
 If you read the whole story you will discover that he
has been disobedient.
 Instead of saying, “I was wrong, Lord, please forgive
me,” he tries to explain his disobedience.
 When we invent excuses for our behavior, we always
try to make ourselves look like a hero. 9

10.
2.3 PROJECTION ትወራ
 Projection means that I try to blame someone else for my
own failure.
 • This attitude is demonstrated in Genesis 3 (the fall) and 1
Samuel 15:21 (King Saul again).
 Adam is the ultimate master of projection because he tries to
blame God.
 “It was the woman that you gave me.”
 In other words—God, this sin is your fault. 10

11.
2.4 .PRIDE ኩራት
Pride means that I have the
following attitude:
I am always right. It is based on
the belief that I am wiser and
smarter.
I don’t need you and I don’t need
to hear what you think or feel.
11

12.
2.5 ANGER ቁጣ.
Anger means that I use my words to hurt you.
Anger is many times connected to insecurity.
Deep in my heart I know I’m wrong, but my
pride won’t let me admit it.
Our anger creates an explosion and produces
the fruit of intimidation. 12

13.
3. HEALTHY COMMUNICATION
ጤናማ የሆነ ንግግር
 Four heart attitudes that will always inject
blessing and life into our communication and
marriage.
 3.1 WILLINGNESS.
 3.2 OPENNESS
 3.3 HONESTY.
 3.4 TRUST. 13

14.
3.1 WILLINGNESS ፈቃደኛ መሆን
 Willingness means that I want to listen.
 a. It is communicated through our words and the
way we position our body (body language).
 i. Body language is diferent in many cultures. In
some cultures leaning forward to be physically
closer communicates willingness and a desire to
connect.
14

15.
3.1 WILLINGNESS ፈቃደኛ መሆን
In other cultures leaning forward
communicates ofense
. The principle is what’s important:
how
do I show the other person that I truly
want to hear and listen. 15

16.
3.2 OPENNESS ግልጸኝነት፤ ክፍት ማድረግ
Openness means that my way is not the only
way.. Many problems in marriage can be
solved in various ways.
Usually there is more than one solution.
This heart attitude communicates that I respect
your perspective and beliefs. 16

17.
3.3 HONESTY ታማኝነት
Honesty means that I will say what I truly
feel and think.
a. Many times in communication we will
say what we think the other person wants to
hear.
This is especially true if we fear the other
person in some way.
17

18.
3.3 HONESTY.(CONT…)
Or perhaps we tell them what they want to
hear because we desperately want their
approval.
b. Whatever the reason, no true
communication can occur unless I am
willing to be totally honest with the other
person.
18

19.
3.4 TRUST.እምነት መጣል
Trust means that God will help us and change
us.
This principle is found in 1 Peter 3:1-7.
When we read this scripture carefully, we
come to understand that God is able to change
the other person.
Sometimes, even after we communicate, the
other person doesn’t change.
19

20.
3.4 TRUST.(CONT…)
Or maybe we need to change.
If the other person doesn’t respond, I can trust
God to change them.
IMPORTANT TRUTH: only the power of the
Holy Spirit can bring true and lasting change in
a person’s character. 20

21.
4. CONCLUSION
Read James 3:1-12. James has a lot to say
about the tongue—the instrument of
communication. How does the teaching of
James correlate with the teaching of this
session?
21

22.
5. SELF CHECK
5.1 List some of the negative attitudes that
have been a part of your communication
that hurt your husband, wife, parents,
friends, pastor etc..
Spend some time in prayer as you open
your heart for change. 22

23.
5. SELF CHECK (CONT…)
5.2 Reflect for a moment on the four
attitudes that impart blessing and life.
Make a list of how you will apply these
principles in your relationships with
husband, wife, parents, friends, pastor
etc. 23

24.
24