Healthy communication is essential for strong marriages and families. Unhealthy attitudes like escapism, rationalization, projection, pride and anger inject negativity, while willingness, openness, honesty and trust build healthy relationships. The document discusses both unhealthy and healthy communication styles. It emphasizes reflecting on one's own attitudes and making changes to communicate in a way that blesses others through listening, understanding different perspectives, and trusting God to bring change over time.

1. የ2014 ዓ.ም ባለትዳሮች በዓል ላይ የቀረበ
ROLE OF HEALTHY COMMUNICATION IN
SUSTAINABILITY OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
BY DR. BEREKET ATOMSA
JANUARY, 2022
ASSOSA, ETHIOPIA
1
MISSION FOR NATION INTERNATIONAL
CHURCH ASSOSA BRANCH

2. 1. INTRODUCTION
Healthy communication in marriage can be
understood in two ways:
It is the ability to speak to your partner about
the things that are in your mind and heart.
It is the ability to listen to your partner and
understand the things that are in their mind and
heart.
2

3. 1 INTRODUCTION(CONT….)
One review scripture: Proverbs 18:21
“death and life are in the power of the
tongue.”
• We have great power to either encourage
or harm through the words that we speak
to our marriage partner. 3

4. 1. INTRODUCTION(CONT….)
Healthy communication is related to heart
attitudes.
We can inject poison and death into
our communication.
OR we can inject blessing and life into
our communication. 4

5. 2. UNHEALTHY COMMUNICATION
ጤናማ ያልሆነ ንግግር
Five heart attitudes that will always inject poison
and death into our communication and marriage
2.1 ESCAPISM
 2.2 RATIONALIZATION
2.3 PROJECTION
2.4 .PRIDE
2.5 ANGER.
5

6. 2.1 ESCAPISM ከእዉነታዉ ለመሸሽ መሞከር
Escapism means that I try to hide.
a. This attitude is demonstrated in
Genesis 3:7-10
After the fall Adam and Eve cover
themselves with fig leaves – they hid from
each other and God. 6

7. 2.1 ESCAPISM(CONT…)
There are many ways that we can try to
escape communication in our marriage.
Here are some of the ways: work, ministry,
sleep, avoiding our partner.
Escapism basically tries to ignore a
problem that needs to be talked about. 7

8. 2.2 RATIONALIZATION ምክንያታዊ ማድረግ
Rationalization means that I try to make
excuses.
This attitude is demonstrated in 1 Samuel
15:9 and 13:15.
It is an attempt to avoid saying that I’m
wrong. Instead,
I’ll find an excuse that sounds like the truth. 8

9. 2.2 RATIONALIZATION(CONT…)
 This is what King Saul does in the above-mentioned
scripture.
 If you read the whole story you will discover that he
has been disobedient.
 Instead of saying, “I was wrong, Lord, please forgive
me,” he tries to explain his disobedience.
 When we invent excuses for our behavior, we always
try to make ourselves look like a hero. 9

10. 2.3 PROJECTION ትወራ
 Projection means that I try to blame someone else for my
own failure.
 • This attitude is demonstrated in Genesis 3 (the fall) and 1
Samuel 15:21 (King Saul again).
 Adam is the ultimate master of projection because he tries to
blame God.
 “It was the woman that you gave me.”
 In other words—God, this sin is your fault. 10

11. 2.4 .PRIDE ኩራት
Pride means that I have the
following attitude:
I am always right. It is based on
the belief that I am wiser and
smarter.
I don’t need you and I don’t need
to hear what you think or feel.
11

12. 2.5 ANGER ቁጣ.
Anger means that I use my words to hurt you.
Anger is many times connected to insecurity.
Deep in my heart I know I’m wrong, but my
pride won’t let me admit it.
Our anger creates an explosion and produces
the fruit of intimidation. 12

13. 3. HEALTHY COMMUNICATION
ጤናማ የሆነ ንግግር
 Four heart attitudes that will always inject
blessing and life into our communication and
marriage.
 3.1 WILLINGNESS.
 3.2 OPENNESS
 3.3 HONESTY.
 3.4 TRUST. 13

14. 3.1 WILLINGNESS ፈቃደኛ መሆን
 Willingness means that I want to listen.
 a. It is communicated through our words and the
way we position our body (body language).
 i. Body language is diferent in many cultures. In
some cultures leaning forward to be physically
closer communicates willingness and a desire to
connect.
14

15. 3.1 WILLINGNESS ፈቃደኛ መሆን
In other cultures leaning forward
communicates ofense
. The principle is what’s important:
how
do I show the other person that I truly
want to hear and listen. 15

16. 3.2 OPENNESS ግልጸኝነት፤ ክፍት ማድረግ
Openness means that my way is not the only
way.. Many problems in marriage can be
solved in various ways.
Usually there is more than one solution.
This heart attitude communicates that I respect
your perspective and beliefs. 16

17. 3.3 HONESTY ታማኝነት
Honesty means that I will say what I truly
feel and think.
a. Many times in communication we will
say what we think the other person wants to
hear.
This is especially true if we fear the other
person in some way.
17

18. 3.3 HONESTY.(CONT…)
Or perhaps we tell them what they want to
hear because we desperately want their
approval.
b. Whatever the reason, no true
communication can occur unless I am
willing to be totally honest with the other
person.
18

19. 3.4 TRUST.እምነት መጣል
Trust means that God will help us and change
us.
This principle is found in 1 Peter 3:1-7.
When we read this scripture carefully, we
come to understand that God is able to change
the other person.
Sometimes, even after we communicate, the
other person doesn’t change.
19

20. 3.4 TRUST.(CONT…)
Or maybe we need to change.
If the other person doesn’t respond, I can trust
God to change them.
IMPORTANT TRUTH: only the power of the
Holy Spirit can bring true and lasting change in
a person’s character. 20

21. 4. CONCLUSION
Read James 3:1-12. James has a lot to say
about the tongue—the instrument of
communication. How does the teaching of
James correlate with the teaching of this
session?
21

22. 5. SELF CHECK
5.1 List some of the negative attitudes that
have been a part of your communication
that hurt your husband, wife, parents,
friends, pastor etc..
Spend some time in prayer as you open
your heart for change. 22

23. 5. SELF CHECK (CONT…)
5.2 Reflect for a moment on the four
attitudes that impart blessing and life.
Make a list of how you will apply these
principles in your relationships with
husband, wife, parents, friends, pastor
etc. 23

24. 24