1. Bringing Hope to the World: The Critical Mission
of the Expat, Transient, and Cross-Cultural Community
Christopher O’Shaughnessy, 10 March 2016
Families in Global Transition Conference:Amsterdam,The Netherlands
As the world becomes more interconnected, the challenges we face do as well. Many of the
difficulties that have long been faced by the expat, transient, and cross-cultural community have
expanded into mainstream society the world over. Marginalization, exposing the vulnerable to
radicalization, the increasingly disposable nature of relationships, and the ever more complex
struggle to find identity are apparent all around us.Thankfully, many who have experience moving
across cultures have been devising strategies to overcome these challenges for some time. Now,
more than ever, the need to come together and share knowledge, inspire passion, and connect
empathetically is of global importance. Third Culture Kids and Adults, Cross Cultural Individuals,
Global Nomads, and Expats are no longer the prototype citizens of tomorrow – they have first-
hand experience in bringing about the changes needed in the world today. Ultimately, members of
the expat, transient, and cross-cultural community are uniquely placed to bring a sense of hope to
the world.
Loneliness & Our Loss of Empathy
The U.S. National Science Foundation recently reported that unprecedented numbers of
Americans are lonely. In their study, one in four people said that they have no one with whom
they can talk about their personal troubles or triumphs. If family members are not counted, the
number doubles to more than half of Americans who have no one outside their immediate family
with whom they can share confidences. Sadly, the researchers also noted increases in “social
isolation” and “a very significant decrease in social connection to close friends and family.”1
Various studies now show that loneliness has devastating effects on us sociologically, emotionally,
mentally, and even physically. One study found that chronically feeling lonely increases a person’s
risk of death by up to 26%.2
A study conducted at Ohio State University found that loneliness impacts the body like physical
stress. It weakens the immune system, increases sensitivity to physical pain, and creates depression
and fatigue. Moreover, it generates inflammation throughout the body, leading to a range of health
risks.3
© 2016 Christopher O’Shaughnessy
1 http://spectator.org/articles/59230/loneliness-american-society
2 http://www.nhs.uk/news/2015/03March/Pages/Loneliness-increases-risk-of-premature-death.aspx
3 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-new-resilience/201302/loneliness-harms-your-health-and-its-increasing

2. Loneliness is dangerous. It degrades the fabric of our social structures and the very foundations of
what keeps the world turning. Tied very closely to the loneliness epidemic is a sharp decline in
empathy.
“According to emotional intelligence author, Daniel Goleman, empathy is defined as understanding
the emotional makeup of people and treating people according to their emotional reactions...
Neuroscientists have recently discovered that humans are wired to experience empathy through
multiple systems of mirror neurons in our brains.These mirror neurons reflect back actions that
we observe in others causing us to mimic that action in our own brains. When we observe
someone in pain or when we are with someone happy, we experience that to a certain extent.
These mirror neurons are the primary physiological basis of empathy.They create a neural Wi-Fi
that connects us to the feelings of people around us. Mirror neurons kick in strongest when we
observe a person’s emotions: when we see facial expressions, eye expressions, body position, and
gestures.”4
Essentially, empathy is the ability to be moved by the feelings of others. Unsettlingly, according to a
comprehensive study from the University of Michigan, we care about others 40 percent less than
people in the 1980s did, with the biggest drop-off in empathy occurring after the year 2000.5
There are a multitude of reasons proposed to explain the apparent growing lack of empathy
we’re experiencing including:
‣ Violence in video-games & movies.
‣ An increase in narcissism – feeling empathy for others takes time and effort, which could be
better spent on achieving their own goals.
‣ A trend towards parents being more controlling and more results-focused means less time
spent teaching or modeling empathy skills.
‣ Individualization due to personal media: we each have our own screens now.
‣ Focus on self-promotion in social-media.
‣ A dramatic increase in faceless communication, we’re not as practiced at reading responses in
people or even knowing to look for them.
Evolving Past Certain Needs Being Tied To Our Survival...
I believe what we are experiencing is a revolutionary shift in society that demands a change in
behavior.To illustrate this, imagine opening a gym in the middle ages – I can’t imagine it would be
successful. Medieval peasants had to work hard, they wouldn’t care for the idea of burning calories
just for the sake of burning calories. Between us and them is the industrial revolution. Since this
technological revolution, physical exertion has been less and less directly associated with survival.
© 2016 Christopher O’Shaughnessy
4 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/threat-management/201303/i-dont-feel-your-pain-overcoming-roadblocks-empathy
5 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201006/is-the-me-generation-less-empathetic

3. We’ve managed to separate the two: exertion and survival are no longer connected. But in order
to stay healthy, we’ve had to add physical activity back in intentionally.
In fact, we have had to go so far as to launch huge educational campaigns to encourage people to
exercise regularly. We may not need it for economic survival, but we most certainly do need
physical exertion in order to be healthy. In many ways, what we are currently experiencing in
terms of technology and even sociology is the equivalent of another industrial revolution.
Thanks in very large part to technology as well as other factors including immigration, global
economics, etc. we are less and less interdependent. In many parts of the world, we simply do not
need each other as much as we used to. We can, and do, function more independently and
individually now than we ever have before.
Ironically, many experts agree that despite being more ‘connected’ than ever before, we, as a
society, are plagued with more loneliness now than ever before.
[ Check out The Innovation of Loneliness onYouTube6. ]
The Dangers of Disconnectedness
Kids can often act in seemingly cruel ways as they work to figure out identity and how they relate
with others. We hope through social and cultural norming to move them from destructive
tendencies to inclusive ones. But as those norms continue to erode, we must act to intentionally
instill and encourage a sense of empathy since the environment is less prone to do so.
The issue extends far beyond children, as we now see that diasporas of displaced people and
cultural clashes are a terrifying perfect storm for radicalization.The marginalized feel as if nobody
in their own surrounding wider community understands them, so they are vulnerable and drawn
to bond to something else, something that promises to bind them and include them, something
that will keep them from feeling lonely.
Many migrants end up feeling like outsiders and as a result, form a merely transactional
relationship with their community or country of residence.7 Our need for home and belonging
cannot be fulfilled merely by something transactional.That sows the seeds for radicalization.
Expats Know They’re Naked
Often, expats arrive at their destination culturally naked.The experience of being an outsider or
foreigner faced with the challenge of learning to not just survive, but thrive in a different culture
usually starts with a feeling of incredibly vulnerability and heightened awareness that action must
© 2016 Christopher O’Shaughnessy
6 https://youtu.be/c6Bkr_udado
7 http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/19/opinion/to-stop-radicalization-the-french-need-more-fraternite.html

4. be taken in order to fit in.This awareness is actually a very powerful thing – it’s this awareness, this
knowledge of nakedness and the need to take action, that needs to take root even in mainstream
culture.
Expats know their situation because they have a very obvious transitional experience, they know
they have to find ways to connect that they haven’t had to explore before.They know that they
must observe and take into account different opinions, traditions, and rituals. They know that to
form community will take work, but they know they have to do it.
How beautiful that this lines up so perfectly with exactly what the wider world is in need of. All of
our global society is vulnerable, we all need to intentionally take steps to strengthen our
empathetic muscles and build connections. But expats have the advantage of KNOWING they’re
vulnerable – more so than mainstream culture, the environment of the expat makes it obvious.
Expats know they’re naked and have an obvious motivation to do something about it.
Familiar Traits
There is an amazing similarity between the traits, strengths, and characteristics associated with
being a successful expat and those associated with having strong empathetic abilities. The very
behaviors that those in the expat, cross-cultural, and international world have sought to cultivate
are now being taught outside the international context as a means of helping flex our empathetic
muscles:
‣ Developing curiosity for strangers.
‣ The discipline to challenge our own preconceptions and prejudices by searching for what we
share with people rather than what divides us.
‣ The ability to directly experience lives and lifestyles of those different than us.
‣ Empathizing with people whose beliefs we don’t share.
‣ Striving to understand the needs, traditions, and beliefs of the people around us.
‣ Consciously understand the perception we create in others with our words and actions.
‣ Understanding the unspoken parts of our communication with others.
‣ Attempting to more accurately predict the actions and reactions of people we interact with.
‣ Experiencing the world in higher resolution as we perceive through not only our perspective
but the perspectives of those around us.
These are all behaviors that have long been promoted in cross-cultural arenas, yet this list actually
comes from “Greater Good”, a project from the University of Berkeley in California as part of an
article titled, Six Habits of Highly Empathetic People.8
© 2016 Christopher O’Shaughnessy
8 http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1

5. Powerful Interaction & Hope
One of my favorite authors, Brennan Manning wisely said, “In every encounter we either give life
or we drain it; there is no neutral exchange.” Thanks in large part to technology we have an
unprecedented ability to interact with each other.Yet despite the advances in social media, long
distance communication, and the ease with which we ‘connect’ with each other, the worrying
trend towards an epidemic of loneliness and dramatic decrease in empathy shows that we need
to focus on ensuring more of our interactions are life-giving.
When we give life, we give hope.The world needs to strengthen its empathetic abilities and fight
the onslaught of loneliness. I don’t believe railing against technology is the answer – any more than
I want to undo the industrial revolution. My suggestion is simply this: the whole world needs to
learn to live like expats. Expats and people in the cross-cultural world have a more acute
understanding of the issues we all now face because the issues at hand are inherently part of the
expat experience. The need to intentionally build community, seek to understand others,
encourage inclusion, and broaden the worldview through which we interpret reality have been
tasks expats have tackled as a result of knowing they’re ‘naked’ and needing to do something
about it. We need to educate the world on its vulnerabilities and aid in creating the empathetic,
cross-cultural clothing it requires to be secure and successful.
“Ultimately, our gift to the world around us is hope. Not blind hope that pretends everything is
fine and refuses to acknowledge how things are. But the kind of hope that comes from staring
pain and suffering right in the eyes and refuses to believe that this is all there is.”9
© 2016 Christopher O’Shaughnessy
9 Velvet Elvis. Rob Bell. HarperCollins Publishing. 2005.

6. For more information about Christopher O’Shaughnessy, or to book him to speak at your
organization, school, or event – please visit www.chris-o.com or email booking@chris-o.com
Check out Chris’ book:
Arrivals, Departures and the Adventures In-Between
( Available on Amazon.com and iTunes )
© 2016 Christopher O’Shaughnessy