Fast Forward to the Past

“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
1 Copyright MMXII –Max’s Scout Services & Communications, LLC –Latest draft –9/26/12 –
D. A. D. Publishing & Associates
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FAST FORWARD
TO THE
PAST

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List of Characters
Character’s names / Ideal Actress or Actor to Play the Part:
MARGARET / MAGGIE, Bunny’s best friend / Charlie Thereon’
BERNADETTE / BUNNY, Maggie’s best friend / Scarlett Johansson
EVE / EVA, Newest best dormitory friend / Michelle Williams
JACKSON / JACKO, Latino who befriends the co-eds / James Franco
TRIXIE, Hometown college-aged girl not in college / Ellen Page /
Kristin Weig or Victoria Jackson
BABE, townie woman with multiple personalities / Emma Stone
QUEEG, undiagnosed “lunatic” who may have a dependency disorder
/ Johnny Depp or Ryan Gossling
RALPHIE, man living in town with Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome
/ Kevin Kline
PENELOPE, young aspiring scientist with panic attacks / Jeaneane
Garofalo or Catherine O’Hara
ZEKE, driver who appears repeatedly throughout the story
offering the students a ride in a classic car of that time
period / Jay Pharaoh
HOAGY CARMICHAEL, Infamous musician and composer who was born in
Bloomington and received both a bachelor’s and law degree from
I.U. / Billy Joel
DOCTOR KINSEY, Nephew of Alfred Kinsey / Christopher Walken

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DOCTOR DEAN, University Dean of Students / Robert DiNiro
GUY, man living in town with obsessive-compulsive disorder /
Matt Damon or Mark Wahlberg
JAMES A. WOODBURN, Professor of Philosophy / Dustin Hoffman
DOLLY, mental health care worker / Lisa Lapinelli or Rita Rudner
DICK, 1960s protester / Steve Buschemi
DELILA, Woman of the Roaring 20s / Elizabeth Shue
TOOTSIE, Women of the 1890s / Susan Sarandon or Kim Basinger
GRETCHEN and VANESSA, Women of the 1930s and 1940s / Cameron
Diaz and Uma Thurmann
ERIN and “Go Braghless”, female police officers / Kelly LeBrach
and Edie Falco
BUTCH, p/ Danny DeVito or Joe Pesci
PHYLLIS and FEEDUS, cocktail waitresses at local bars / Rea
Pearlman and Tracy Ullman
GERALDINE, woman of the 1980s / Penelope Cruz or Marisa Tomei

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Opening Scene: A woman in a full dress is walking her dog.
She is wearing dark glasses under a dark bonnet.
01 FADE IN – Following the woman walking her dog.
Birds can be heard singing and chirping in the distance.
All of a sudden, a crow crows aloud. There is no traffic
of any kind.
02 FADE IN - After a few seconds, view approaching college
girls.
Three college-age girls are chatting and giggling as they
approach one another on the sidewalk.
After they gather, they approach the dog-walker.
A tall limestone church built around 1905 (1st
Presbyterian at 6th and Lincoln) is in the background. It
is a sunny, quiet morning.
03 FADE IN – Suddenly, the dog walker’s hat falls off and is
blown by the wind to the co-eds while she bends over to
pick up her dog’s poop.
The dog poops and while picking up the muck,
the woman’s fancy hat falls off, blows in a sudden
zephyr,
and the college girls offer her help.
TRIXIE
Awe, sheeeeeeeez . . .

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MAGGIE
I am sorry for your loss.
TRIXIE
Are you being serious? My dog losing his poop is
really not a big deal to me.
(laughter)
Thank you for retrieving my hat. That trick of
yours is not one that my dog knows how to do.
MAGGIE
Oh, wow, but this is such a beautiful hat. I
would forever hate to lose this one if it was
mine.
BUNNY
Did you get this hat in Bloomington?
TRIXIE
It is a long story – let’s cut to the chase. Yes,
I found it at the Saturday Farmers Market.
04 FADE IN - A middle-aged professorial-looking gentleman
is walking his dog and comes across Babe’s dog. He says
good afternoon and smiles as his dog and Babe’s smell one
another.
DOCTOR DEAN
Have a wonderful day, ladies.
(He continues to walk past the group of women.)

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MAGGIE
Excuse my manners. May I introduce my friends?
TRIXIE
(looking at Bunny’s hat and blouse)
Oh, of course. I love this girl’s taste in
clothes.
EVA
What is your name hun?
TRIXIE
I am Trixie and this is my dog Usher.
EVA
Pleased to meet you!
I am Eve. You met Maggie.
And this pretty girl is Bernadette.
BUNNY
You may call me Bunny, hunny.
(chuckles)
05 FADE OUT – From street scene (present day 2013)
06 FADE IN – To a wintertime scene (1907) – The gang finds
themselves into Christmas scenes outside of First

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Christian and First Presbyterian Churches between Lincoln
and Washington Streets; many new cars are getting stuck
in mud, ice and snow.
SANTA CLAUS
Merry, Merry Christmas!
TOWN REVELER
I love that dear Baby Jesus!
CHORUS
Emmanuel, Emmanuel . . . O come, O come Emmanuel…
The students are bewildered. They think they have been
in these familiar surroundings before and cannot
understand the hundreds in costumes.
With time, they acclimate themselves and figure out
the location of the corner of downtown Bloomington
streets where they are.
This is the same place where Maggie, Bunny, Eve, and
Trixie met. They are in wonderment with the Christmas
decorations and festival.
They have no idea how they got to this street party,
whether it is even reality, and if they might have
been dreaming back into a date in history.
EVA
Do you know any of these people?
MAGGIE
I recognize Santa Claus.

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BUNNY
Eva, Maggie, who drove us to this Christmas
party?
MAGGIE
I don’t remember getting into any car.
Up drives a 1906 Model-T automobile. The Negro driver
leans out the car window with a big, wide smile. There
happens to be a white man to his right in the front
seat.
ZEKE
Do you kids want a ride?
EVE
Well, ah . . .
(Eve takes a look at Ralphie sitting next to Zeke)
Are you the frat boys that drove us here?
MAGGIE
We don’t know your name.
Do you expect us to ride with strangers?
Who are you?
ZEKE
My name is Zeke.
And how did you know I was a fraternity brother?

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BUNNY
I really think all the Greek letters on your new
car give us some idea that you are a frat bro.
(there are nearly a dozen Greek letters
randomly stenciled on his car)
EVA
Zeke, do you work for us?
ZEKE
Naw, I work for The Man.
MAGGIE
What man?
ZEKE
Barry is the man. He wants me to keep an eye on
you four college children?
BUNNY
What four of us?
There are only three of us.
Children! We aren’t little kids.
Who does the man think he is!?!
ZEKE
OK, settle down. It is all good.
Where is your #4?

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Where is that dancing Latino buddy of yours?
BUNNY
Huh?
ZEKE
You know. Jacko.
MAGGIE
Jacko, who?
ZEKE
Don’t get me started.
Go get him. Jacko is over there building a
snowman with those other women.
BUNNY
Wait a minute. We wouldn’t take a ride from a
stranger.
Who is the dude seated next to you?
ZEKE
This is Ralphie. He checks out OK.
Say hello Ralphie.
RALPHIE
Hel-low (slowly).

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MAGGIE
If Ralphie was a gentleman, he’d get out and open
the doors for us.
RALPHIE
Hey, you got to wait another five minutes. Right
now I am on my break time.
06 FADE IN - Jackson appears half-drunk with three ladies
nicely dressed in Victorian winter garments attempting
to build a snowman in front of the church.
EVE
Oh, no, not that weirdo!
ZEKE
Now I am confused.
Is his real name Weirdo or Jacko?
EVE
Both of those names apply to him.
ZEKE
You better go get him.
07 FADE IN – The local police assist the young co-eds
pick up their male college friend from the snow.
Jackson is carried to the back of the car.
TRIXIE
What took you sorority girls so long?

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MAGGIE
Trixie, it is so good to see you!
EVE
What a delightful holiday party!
BABE
Come closer. It is about time. I’d like you to
meet my friends Penelope and Babe.
EVE
From what year are everyone’s costumes?
BABE
1907.
(friendly hugs in the back seat)
MAGGIE
Maybe Eve will become a sorority sister but Bunny
and I definitely are not sorority girl types.
BUNNY
Maggie and I flunked Greek rush during our
freshman year. Is that really Trixie? Oh wow!
(hugs)
JACKSON
Hey, who is that fox?
(Jacko jumps, hits his head on the top of the door,

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and scrambles himself into the community hug)
BABE
Hey cut it out. No piling on.
This is no football scrimmage.
08 FADE IN - Commotion in the back seat.
CHORUS
The time travelers sing Alvin and the Chipmunks’ Christmas song
(laughter)
09 FADE IN – The modern day blue jean and down coat
dressed bunch singing silly from the back seat of a
Model T get odd looks from the people of the ‘00s day.
10 FADE IN – Focus on the group in the back of the car.
PENELOPE
You gals, check out the newly constructed county
courthouse on your left.
BUNNY
Babe, are you kidding me?
Are we dreaming of a White Christmas, or what?
MAGGIE
This feels real to me.
JACKO
Oh my God, Jesu’ Christi.

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What is going on?
EVA
Jacko, if you are lucky, you might understand
after you get over tomorrow’s hangover.
TRIXIE
No bones about it. Maggie, you are not dreaming
but witnessing history live and in technicolor
for real.
12 FADE IN - Zeke takes a drive a two blocks west over to
the Courthouse Square and watch men build the new
courthouse.
ZEKE
The building and monuments are being constructed
exclusively out of locally-mined limestone.
PENELOPE
It is pretty funny that they bought the clock for
the tower from two carpetbaggers from Kentucky,
rather than buy a better quality clock from
Switzerland.
TRIXIE
It seems they have been building it for more than
ten years! The only cheap bit about the project
is that timepiece built by the Kentuckians.
MAGGIE
Stop the car! I want to get out and see.

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13 FADE IN - The County Courthouse of limestone is in-
process of being erected with a clock on the town
square.
The occupants of the car driven by
Zeke can overhear three limestone quarry working experts.
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1
Ya ja. Mr. Dee, we got the dynamite all hooked
up!
Hurry up, Mr. Dum-Dum. The boss says he wants
this job done as soon as possible. We’ve got his
written orders right here.
Hey, are you sure we’re supposed to tear down
this limestone?
It must have imperfections.
Hey you guys! Step back.
Ready, one – two – three.
14 FADE IN - The clock tower, under construction,
mistakenly gets blown to pieces by illiterate quarry
work crew who were given the wrong address but was
following the boss’ orders.

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(colorful explosion of the clock tower)
BUNNY
Did you hear the names of the limestone workers?
MAGGIE
One was Dum-Dum and the other was Mr. Dee.
BUNNY
I imagine their first names were Tweedle!
TRIXIE
All right! Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.
(laughter)
15 FADE OUT – In order to get out of harm’s way, Babe and
Trixie usher them to a safe area where the group is
transported back to the TV room in Babe’s townhouse.
16 FADE IN – Sitting comfortably in Babe’s television room
in front of the TV.
BABE
Settle down girls! Jackson, you too.
Act like an intelligent fool.
EVA
Acting like a fool shouldn’t be difficult at all
for Jacko. Did you see him make a spectacle out
of his head case at the church community
Christmas party!

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TRIXIE
We should not have left him there.
Have you ever learned what the law authorities
did to people with his type of behavior during
the Victorian Age?
EVA
Babe, you are far too nice to this guy.
I need to tell you about what he did to me last
weekend.
BUNNY
Eve, Eva, let’s not get into all that old
baggage.
Babe, are we dreaming or what?
MAGGIE
This sure feels real to me.
17 FADE-IN - While the women are talking, Jackson sneaks
over to the DVD player
BABE
Had we left Jackson in front of those churches,
he would have been left behind in 1907, might
have ended up in hell in the future eternity, or
could have died on the European battlefields
during World War One.

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JACKO
(“Earth-shaking” after he presses a button on the DVD player)
Oh my Goodness, Jesus’ Christi. What’s up?
EVA
Jacko, what did you do now?
BABE
I was just about to tell you about the time
machine next to the TV.
Hang on you guys!
17 FADE IN – Focusing to the television on the final minute
of the 1976 NCAA basketball championship game between
I.U. and the Michigan Wolverines. After the end of the
game, there are simultaneous celebrations all over the
town of Bloomington.
Maggie and Bunny are in Nick’s tavern on Kirkwood Avenue.
Eve, Xavier, and Penelope are in Bear’s Place on East
Third Street.
Babe, Jacko, Trixie, and Ralphie are in the Bluebird bar
on Walnut Street.
After looking for one another in the crowds, (see, cell
phones don’t work in 1976) Penelope, Babe, and Trixie
gather the groups along Kirkwood Avenue where they are
greeted by a bus driven by Zeke.
18 FADE OUT – As Maggie passes out.

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18 FADE IN – The time travelers’ drop from a seated
position, while falling down several feet, only to
land on a hard marble floor. They begin to look around
and find themselves in a busy classroom hallway.
The year is 1876 – James A. Woodburn’s and other
debating clubs discuss the future issues of 19th
century America and the world.
The gang notices that more than a dozen bearded men
are in a crowd, speaking loudly following one man who
is James Woodburn.
WOODBURN
Gentlemen, please (the crowd gets quiet) please
there will be plenty of time to debate that issue
tomorrow.
“If this Union, is to be formed only by our
people equally honoring those who fought for and
those who fought against our country . . . then I
can earnestly say let the day never come. Did the
people of the United States, honor Benedict
Arnold when they spoke of heroes of the
Revolution?
I ask you rhetorically, why were Northerners and
Southerners disposed to honor Robert E. Lee? And
Jefferson Davis, indeed all Confederates, when
“the great fact remains that they fought on the
wrong side, against their country, against
liberty and humanity.”
18 FADE OUT – Babe and Xavier usher the gang together to be
transported back to the current day and year inside
Babe’s TV room.

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19 FADE IN – The gang is seated in Babe’s TV room. Many are
out of breath.
MAGGIE
I am exhausted from all this time travel.
EVE
This is fabulous. So exciting!
BUNNY
No woofing now.
Babe, please tell us how this is happening to us.
BABE
That DVD player is programmed to take us around
town and the college campus.
BUNNY
What year did we just come from?
PENELOPE
1976 and then 1876.
EVE
Huh, where are we going to go back in time to
next?
MAGGIE
I am not going anywhere until I get some sleep.

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RALPHIE
Right on.
BUNNY
Let’s pick a time to travel back to and meet up
tomorrow.
QUEEG
I say let’s go to 1976, 1987, 1981, 1953, and
1940 when I. U. won the national college
basketball championships.
MAGGIE
I am not sure I want to go anywhere with Ralphie.
EVE
I like the idea about checking out what this
campus and town were like prior to World War Two.
JACKSON
I had so much fun in the snow before World War
One. Let’s go to World War Two, then!
QUEEG
Are you nuts?
We aren’t going to fight in any war.
BABE
You guys go home and rest up.
Now, go, go, go. Get now!

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20 FADE OUT – End of the day
21 FADE IN – There is a whirlwind of activity on the
driveway of the I.U. Auditorium with the Showalter
Foundation in the foreground; women are wearing gowns and
men are dressed in suits, ties, and hats. There is a Gala
prior to the showing of “Gone with the Wind.”
Zeke drives up in a 1939 sedan and drops off
the group of time travelers.
Ralphie, dressed in a tuxedo opens up the
back door of a 1939 classic luxury car.
MAGGIE
Wow, this place is beautiful.
BUNNY
I am more than speechless, I am breathless.
PENELOPE
Welcome to the I.U. Auditorium’s gala premier
opening of the classic movie “Gone with the
Wind.”
BUNNY
That fountain with Venus in the middle is
breathtaking!
JACKO
Everybody is really dressed to the tees’ and look
at me.

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EVE
Jacko, just stay out of trouble tonight.
BABE
You all better be careful what you wish for.
JACKSON
I wonder what Indiana University was like in the
beginning.
All of sudden, the time travelers are sucked into
the wormhole and taken back in time.
22 FADE IN – The gang is transported back over 125 years to
where the Indiana Theological Seminary was established
during the 1820s near the present day Second and South
Walnut Streets in the Southern Indiana town of
Bloomington.
Other possible settings: Dr. Wylie house; examples of
segregation in town; funnier times during the Industrial
Revolution out at the Hoosier Hysteria Ranch of pre-teens
south of campus.
23 FADE IN – Among the confusion, the gang of time
travelers move another 30-years into the future. 1855
- Lightning strikes the original university building;
The gang is at first frightened by the severe weather
they encounter. There is constant thunder and
lightning with a hard pouring rain.

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MAGGIE
Hey, come get in here!
24 FADE IN - Maggie signals others over to a wooden structure.
They make their way through a muddy ground where a large
group of pigs live. Some fall down. Eve is one of them.
BUNNY
Awe, it smells terrible in here!
JACKSON
Doh!
What did you do now, Eve?
25 FADE IN - One of them bumps into a cow that “moos.”
Then the horses in this barn begin to stir and neigh.
EVE
What is going on in here?
MAGGIE
Settle down, we’re just in a barn with some
domesticated animals.
EVE
Awe, but the stench!
PENELOPE
Quit sniveling.
It is 1855. We are not going to find any flush
toilets around here.

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BABE
If you cannot handle it, get outside in this
rainstorm.
Now it is raining harder.
EVE
What is a snivel anyway?
BUNNY
You do it all the time. You should know its
definitions, etiology, and spelling front-ward
and backward.
26 FADE IN - Suddenly a series of bolts of lightning strike
the adjacent school buildings.
27 FADE IN - Everyone reacts by falling to the ground,
covering their eyes, or putting their hands over their
ears.
EVE
I have had enough.
Let’s go partying.
BABE
OK, let’s go to the great American 19th Century
party – the end of the bloody Civil War.
28 FADE OUT – The group goes through a short worm-hole and
ends up ten years into the future. 1865 –
29 FADE IN - Celebration at the conclusion of the Civil War
[April 6, 1865]

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Scene: Farmers’ Market by the Monon B-Line train tracks.
BEARDED TOWNSMAN
Huzzah!
RALPHIE
Huzzah, what’s up?
BUNNY
During the American Revolution, soldiers used
this exclamation word to cheer.
RALPHIE
I do not think we are in the 1770s man.
30 FADE IN - People are cheering as Xavier rides through the
crowd atop two horses. He has one foot on one horse and
another foot on the other while he stands holding the reins
of both horses.
BUNNY
Is not that Xavier?
How can he do that?
MAGGIE
Is there is a circus in town?
EVE
Check out that huge steam engine!
31 FADE IN – Steam locomotive pulling into town.

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MAGGIE
I never heard of any redcoats driving trains into
battle against the minutemen.
BUNNY
Look over there!
(pause)
MAGGIE
Aw, they are burning the confederate flag of
Dixie.
QUEEG
Robert E. Lee has surrendered!
BUNNY
Long live the Union of the United States of
America!
(cheers from the huge crowd)
MAGGIE
Hurray for the Indiana-educated President Abraham
Lincoln!
The market place is filled with citizens celebrating and farmers
selling produce and other goods in the marketplace adjacent to
the Monon Line Train Station.
DOCTOR DEAN
This is the best part of a war… the end.

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FARMER’S WIFE
I am just so happy. So full of it – elation!
All of my four sons are coming back home alive.
32 FADE OUT - A worm-hole sucks all the time travelers
back to in front of the TV/DVD player at Babe’s.
33 FADE IN – Group discussion at Babe’s
MAGGIE
Awesome… that last trip was amazing!
BABE
The Civil War was no joke.
So many sons and brothers lost their lives over
issues they could never resolve in Congress.
PENELOPE
Oh don’t get me started about all the political
differences and ‘haggering’ in D.C.
JACKSON
But there ain’t anything worth shooting another
American about.
EVE
Go tell the Marines!
BUNNY
Wait a minute. That kind of stuff, justified on
first and second amendment rights, could be
rationalized by the perpetrator.

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QUEEG
Take the dude on the 10-dollar bill. He wasn’t
killed fighting over a woman, or money, or
anything important. Alexander Hamilton lost a
street duel with Aaron Burr over politics.
MAGGIE
Where are we going to next?
BABE
Jacko, back off from the DVD machine!
BUNNY
Let’s find a feel-easy leisure time of local
Indiana history to visit.
RALPHIE
Here’s the ticket. Let’s trip out to the “Gay
‘90s”, the 1890s.
34 FADE OUT - Xavier presses a button on the VCR.
35 FADE IN - They are transported to the Indiana
University campus that they do not recognize.
JACKO
What’s up?
EVA
(looking around at the trees and natural foliage)
This is nice.

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BUNNY
I am thirsty.
DOCTOR DEAN
There is a new water fountain in front of Owen
Hall.
36 FADE IN - Up drives Zeke in an 1893 Haynes automobile
made in Kokomo, Indiana.
ZEKE
Hey kids, do you want a ride today?
MAGGIE
No thanks Zeke. I think we better relax.
PENELOPE
Zeke, you too should take a day off.
What year are we now in?
ZEKE
Miss Penelope, the man wants you guys to figure
out that answer for yourselves.
BUNNY
Maggie means we need to seriously chill-lax
today.
ZEKE
OK, but you better be careful. Sure as heck, I am
not sticking around here. I hear Dunn Woods is
haunted. Excuse me. I am spooked.

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37 FADE IN - While Zeke races away, the time travelers
look at one another.
1894 – Kirkwood Hall built out of Indiana limestone
on the present day location of the university campus.
Setting: Dunn Woods (with talking trees recite poetry)
38 FADE OUT – Babe, Trixie, and Penelope usher them to a
safe area where the group is transported back to the TV
room in Babe’s townhouse.
39 FADE IN – Focus on Babe and Trixie.
BABE
If we are going to go any place today, we better
hurry. Hurry up now. President Teddy Roosevelt is
about ready to speak.
TRIXIE
Grab some Gatorade (or other energy drink), drink
it up, and let’s go!
40 FADE IN - The group zips through the travel worm hole.
41 FADE IN - The gang is transported into a large crowd
who are listening to Teddy Roosevelt speak outside the
student union. It is the year 1912.

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EVA
Bully! That really is Teddy Roosevelt.
XAVIER
You know what I think about politics?
Elephants and asses, both screwing the masses.
MAGGIE
I hope the two party system would go the way of
the Titanic. Sink.
Teddy Roosevelt comes to town during his presidential campaign
as the national leader of the progressive Bull Moose Party!
The group listens to his speech.

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PRESIDENT TEDDY ROOSEVELT
“Our opponents have said that we intend to legalize
monopoly. Nonsense! They have legalized monopoly. At
this moment the Standard Oil and Tobacco Trust
monopolies are legalized; they are being carried on
under the decree of the Supreme Court. Our proposal is
really to break up monopoly.
Our proposal is to lay down certain requirements, and
then to require the commerce commission - the
industrial commission - to see that the trusts live up
to those requirements. Our opponents have spoken as if
we were going to let the commission declare what those
requirements should be. Not at all! We are going to
put the requirements in the law and then see that the
commission requires them to obey that law.
And now, friends, what Mr. Woodrow Wilson has done
about trusts in New Jersey would read precisely like a
chapter describing snakes in Ireland, which ran:
"There are no snakes in Ireland." Mr. Wilson has done
precisely and exactly nothing about the trusts.
MAGGIE
What was that about St. Patrick?
RALPHIE
He chased all the snakes out of Ireland.
EVA
Maybe I’d like Ireland. I sure do hate snakes.
BUNNY

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Listen up you guys!
TEDDY ROOSEVELT
I tell you, and I told you at the beginning, I do not
say anything on the stump that I do not believe. I do
not say anything I do not know.
What I am about to say now I want you to understand.
If I speak of Mr. Wilson I speak with no mind of
bitterness. I merely want to discuss the difference of
policy between the Progressive and the Democratic
Party and to ask you to think for yourselves which
party you will follow. I will say that, friends,
because the Republican Party is beaten. Nobody needs
to have any idea that anything can be done with the
Republican Party.
When the bosses in control of the Republican Party,
the Barneses and Penroses, last June stole the
nomination and wrecked the Republican Party for good
and all - I want to point out to you that nominally
they stole that nomination from me, but it was really
from you. They did not like me, and the longer they
live the less cause they will have to like me.
Now, the Democratic Party in its platform and through
the utterances of Mr. Wilson has distinctly committed
itself to the old flintlock, muzzle-loaded doctrine of
States' rights, and I have said distinctly we are for
people's rights. We are for the rights of the people.
If they can be obtained best through National
Government, then we are for national rights. We, the
Bull Moose Party, are for people's rights however it
is necessary to secure them.
BUNNY

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Hurray!
(followed by cheers of the crowd that Bunny leads)
TEDDY ROOSEVELT
I ask you to look at our declaration and hear and read
our platform about social and industrial justice and
then, friends, vote for the Progressive ticket without
regard to me, without regard to my personality, for
only by voting for that platform can you be true to
the cause of progress throughout this Union.”
(Loud cheers)
42 FADE IN – There are some hecklers from the Democratic and
Republican Parties disturbing the gathering. The local
police (acting like silly keystone cops) attempt to
restrain the protesters.
43 FADE OUT – In order to get out of harm’s way, Babe and
Ralphie usher them to a safe area where the group is
transported to a more peaceful time.
44 FADE IN – It is 1926 – Famed musician Hoagy Carmichael is
playing outside of Nick’s; Zeke drives up in a 1926
Chevrolet.
ZEKE
Hey Jackson, do you and those college girls want
to go for a ride?
BUNNY

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Yay, let’s go check out the town.
ZEKE
What do you kids want to do?
JACKO
I’m guessing we are in the middle of the “Roaring
Twenties.”
BABE
You ain’t kidding. Yep, it is 1926.
(Eve pinches Jackson)
JACKSON
Ow! Eva, don’t do me like that!
EVE
I was just checking if you are for real.
MAGGIE
I cannot remember when I last had a cocktail.
ZEKE
I know just the place. There is a nice speakeasy
on the west side. Put your blindfolds on and
we’ll go. You know we are under prohibition laws
here, particularly on Sundays.
RALPHIE

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You have to swear to tell no one about where the
speakeasy is located.
BUNNY
I cannot swear. I’d fear the consequences.
EVE
I don’t care what day of the week it is.
I’ll take a beer for sure.
(The car drives away.)
Other potential scenes: Music in front of Nick’s under
construction on Kirkwood Avenue; outside people’s homes
and at IU Pres Bryan’s; . The “Roaring Twenties”
There is raucous music.
A couple flappers come greet the group as they arrive.
QUEEG
I am going to check out the backroom.
BUNNY
Maggie, I’d like you to try that.
EVA
This dancing is unbelievable!
BUNNY
Check this out.

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(As she tries to dance like the flappers)
MAGGIE
Come ‘on over. Try this, Bunny.
(She hands her a cocktail to drink)
BUNNY
Whew, that is strong.
EVA
Let me try it.
Cough, cough, cough
TRIXIE
What were you expecting?
That is the real thing – homemade hoosier
moonshine.
45 FADE IN – Suddenly many policemen and FBI excise agents
burst through the front door. It is a bust.
46 FADE OUT – Trixie, Ralphie, and Queeg usher them to a
safe area where the group is transported to a new point
in time.
47 FADE IN - The students find themselves at the Starlite
Drive-In. Zeke is in the driver’s seat.

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ZEKE
Where would you like to go after the movie?
EVA
What kind of movie theatre is this?
PENELOPE
This is a drive-in. These types of places became
very popular in the 1950s.
MAGGIE
Is that where we are? In the 1950s?
PENELOPE
Yes, this is 1953.
BUNNY
I am hungry. Let’s drive and get something to
eat.
TRIXIE
I know just the place in town close to campus.
The restaurant recently opened. You will be
surprised what you will experience.
48 FADE OUT – Zeke drives them off in his 1953 Oldsmobile.
is a prosperous time in America. Locally significant
results arose from scientific studies.
49 FADE IN – The classic automobile pulls up along Kirkwood
Avenue that is a hub of activity. They get out and are
seated at a table along the sidewalk outside of the Café
Pizzaria.

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BABE
Hello, I’d like you to meet Doctor James Watson.
BUNNY
How do you do Doctor?
BABE
Doctor Watson received his PhD in 1950 from I.U.
and his latest work with Francis Crick led to the
discovery of the double helical structure of DNA.
MAGGIE
It is wonderful to meet you Doctor Watson. DNA is
part of every form of biological life. It is the
fundamental basis of molecular genetics!
PENELOPE
May I introduce to you the distinguished Indiana
professor Alfred Kinsey. He has just published
the second half of the astounding Kinsey Report
about human, both male and female, sexual
behavior.
EVE
Oh my, I have read so much about your
accomplishments! It is my pleasure to meet you.
MAGGIE
Dr. Kinsey, I have heard what Columbus did for
the field of geography, you have done so for
sexual behavior research!

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BUNNY
What do we have here?
RALPHIE
It is a Stromboli sandwich. This is the latest
and most popular menu item here at the Café
Pizzaria.
XAVIER
The Strom has cheese, onions, marinara sauce, and
Italian sausage on a fresh baked roll.
MAGGIE
It smells so great. I wish I was not on a diet.
JACKSON
I am on a light diet. I will finish it. I eat by
daylight, lamplight, sunlight, and sometimes even
by refrigerator light.
(laughter)
MAGGIE
Who are these three tall good looking men?
BABE
Those are three members of the Indiana University
1953 national championship basketball team.
PENELOPE
Allow me to introduce them to you.
Meet Don Schlundt, Dick Farley, and Bob Leonard.

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RALPHIE
The 1952-53 National Championship team was
unbelievable!
XAVIER
Coach Branch McCracken’s 23 and 3 team was led by
3-time All American six-foot-nine Don Schlundt,
guard 6-3 Bob Leonard, and 6-3 forward Dick
Farley. They beat Kansas LSU, Notre Dame and
DePaul in the tournament and became the champs.
JACKSON
I heard McCracken was one of the winningest
coaches with 364 career wins.
50 FADE OUT – Before anyone could take another bite from
their Stromboli sandwich, the time travelers go through a
worm hole to another place and time.
It is 1967 – A time of cultural change –
The football team goes to the Rose Bowl.
The scene is outside the Indiana University Memorial Union
building along the Jordan River in Dunn Meadow.
The time travelers arrive amid a civil rights rally.
Music is playing the new Beatles’ song, “All You Need Is Love.”
51 FADE IN - People are dancing in the Meadow.
Many women are dressed with flowers in their hair. The time
travelers are caught up in the dancing.

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BUNNY
What lovely days these were.
MAGGIE
Everyone is so into the themes of love and peace.
PENELOPE
Oh what fun it is to dance with everyone.
BABE
There are hundreds of students and young
townspeople here.
52 FADE IN - Suddenly the loud music stops and a protester
speaks into a microphone.
DICK, PROTESTER
It is time to let our voices be heard.
All over the country, young citizens are making
it known that all the killing going on in Vietnam
and rioting over racism in our own country must
come to an end.
The Be-Ins held earlier this spring and summer in
New York City’s Central Park have made it clear
that United States’ policies of racial inequality
and warring actions in Southeast Asia can no
longer be tolerated.
During June’s four day Quang Nam offensive, 114
Americans died. Over 10,000 protesters marched in
San Francisco last June.

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Over 100,000 protesters showed up in New York
City last. The attendance at the October 21st
protest in Washington, D.C. was phenomenal!
Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara should
resign.
53 FADE IN – To Maggie and Bunny
MAGGIE
Maybe he should go work for the World Bank.
BUNNY
You are right, Secretary McNamara did resign and
became the president of the World Bank in 1967.
54 FADE IN – To the speaking protester
DICK
This summer’s race riots in Detroit, and D. C.,
and Minneapolis, and Newark New Jersey, and
Buffalo New York were terrible. The racism within
our country’s borders are as severe a social
problem as the killing happening throughout the
world.
55 FADE IN – To the three girls
EVA
What else happened in 1967?

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DICK
American airplanes have been shot down over
Communist China. This year, the Chinese developed
and tested their first H – Hydrogen Bomb.
EVA
Oh no, another American adversary had the
capability of starting a nuclear war.
MAGGIE
It is amazing that our parents lived through
these times. We might have never been born.
56 FADE IN – To the speaking protester
DICK
It is time we put an end to all this domestic
injustice and international destruction!
Join us. Let’ put our voices together and get our
government to act positive.
57 FADE IN – To the girls and Jackson
They walk over to a group of non-politically involved
‘jocks’ who are discussing the good fortunes of the 1967
football team that are headed to the Rose Bowl.
BUNNY
Hey are you guys getting behind this rally?
BUTCH
We’re listening but reliving our football team’s
good fortune about going to the Rose Bowl.

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BUD
Purdue came into our stadium ranked #3 in the
country and we beat them in the Old Oaken Bucket
game 19 to 13.
BUTCH
You know it, Bud, Harry Gonzo is one terrific
quarterback!
JACKO
Who is Indiana going to play in the Rose Bowl?
BUTCH
Number 1 Southern Cal and their Heisman Trophy
winner O.J. Simpson.
MAGGIE
Do you think we should tell them what O.J. did
after he quit playing football.
BUNNY
He is such a ruthless player that I think he
could kill his family.
BUD
Huh?
EVE
I bet you that he will become such a loser that
he will have to sell that Heisman Trophy he won.

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BUTCH
Huh? The vote on the Heisman Trophy is two weeks
away.
MAGGIE
That man would run over his own girlfriend.
TRIXIE
O.J. has a real mean streak.
58 FADE OUT – All of a sudden, they are sucked through the
worm hole to a different place and time.
59 FADE IN – The gang is seated together at an indoor movie
theatre. The camera first focuses on their lighted faces
(left to right: Ralphie, Penelope, Jackson, Eva, Trixie,
Maggie, Bernadette, Xavier, Babe, Queeg). They are
viewing the 1979 movie, “Breaking Away.” The annual
Little 500 bike race is immortalized on film.
Scenes from “Breaking Away”: tbd
XAVIER
Can you believe that movie was filmed over 20
years ago?
QUEEG
Does anyone know what time it is?
RALPHIE

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None of the Cutters would know.
BUNNY
Why would you say that?
QUEEG
Well even if a Cutter did own a watch, it
probably would be broken.
(laughter)
MAGGIE
What time is it?
PENELOPE
1999
(laughter)
QUEEG
The year 1999 was not all that funny.
RALPHIE
Remember the Y2K scare?
Do you know how much ramping up in software
projects there were in 1999 for corporate
computer security?
Hundreds of millions!
Maybe more like billions of dollars set aside to
prevent major computer crashing.

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QUEEG
In retrospect, Information Technology’s Y2K
Anxiety was a phenomenon.
60 FADE OUT - All of a sudden, they are sucked through the
worm hole to a different place and time.
61 FADE IN - 1987 - Scene behind Swain Hall and Memorial
Hall near the red musical clock.
62 FADE OUT – In order to get out of harm’s way, Babe ushers
them to a safe area where the group is transported back
to the TV in Babe’s townhouse.
63 FADE IN – Everyone’s hair is a mess as it appears that
the gang either just got out of bed or just came inside
from a windstorm. They are seated around the TV.
JACKSON
Let’s go to another time that ain’t so
threatening.
Heck, I mean college should be risk free.
QUEEG
Life without risk is not worth living (he states
as he presses the DVD machine.

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64 FADE IN – The gang is assuming that all travels are going
back in time. They are surprised because they go 7 years
forward for a peak into the future.
2020 – The students are sub-planted at the end of
their time-space travel and are situated in a deep
fog. The setting is Oak Hill Cemetery.
They look around and note that the tomb stones have
various individual’s names and in almost every case
the year of death is 2012.
They become further puzzled wondering what is was that
led to all these deaths.
GUY
Let me tell you about it. In 2012, there were at
least a dozen types of viruses, pink eye, lung
illnesses, and bacterial infections going around
affected the public. An early flu season started
in August. The annual anti-viral serum vaccines
had not come out until months later. There waa a
flu epidemic in the area that was transmitted
among the disadvantaged.
RALPHIE
The poor economic times have had a hard effect on
the disadvantaged. We are talking about all kinds
of people: the poor, veteran, senior, unemployed,
and homeless in our wonderful community.

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QUEEG
There are many helpful organizations in town but
the demand had been so high.
65 FADE IN - Zeke, this time in a long hearse, drives up and
demands that all the young adults get in the back of his
vehicle. Except for one of them (the co-ed he has “the
hots” for - Maggie).
Zeke pulls up in front of I.U.’s Wright Quad residence halls.
Ralphie gets as soon as the new hearse stops and opens the
back doors for the passengers.
MAGGIE
I do not recognize this place.
EVA
This place looks unfamiliar to me.
QUEEG
Go check out the courtyard straight ahead in the
middle of Wright Quad.
66 FADE IN - There is a strip beach volleyball match
scheduled that Barry believes they must attend between
the housekeeping and dietary staff and the Campus
policemen (climax).
67 FADE IN – There is a lot of excitement and action

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68 FADE IN - The game progresses as when one team earns a
point on the other, a member of the losing team must shed
one piece of clothing. The Wright Quad Squad ends up
winning the game.
69 FADE IN - One of the good looking muscular men on the
Campus Police team has his handcuffs used on himself by
one of the middle-aged cafeteria workers. His cuffs are
tied to the volleyball net pole and she snuggles in the
sand with him after their victory.
70 FADE OUT – Just as the couple begins to get intimate, the
camera scene fades out. Members of the gang are
transported back to the TV room in Babe’s townhouse.
71 FADE IN – The door bell rings. One of the men answers the
door and hollers that Trixie has a visitor.
72 FADE IN – Trixie stumbles a clutter house and then makes
her way to the doorway where the Dean of Students is
standing with flowers and a hat box.
DOCTOR DEAN
TRIXIE
I’d invite you in but I have not done any
housework in ages.
DOCTOR DEAN
TRIXIE

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DOCTOR DEAN
73 FADE IN – In the TV room, there are many conversations in
a room that is more than messy, it is in a shambles.
BUNNY
(speaks quietly in a private discussion with Maggie)
Whatchs’ going to do?
I mean, you know.

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MAGGIE
I’m thinking that he is not such a bad dude
after all.
BUNNY
You understand most things more than I do, but I
do recognize the feelings of kismet when I get
them.
MAGGIE
You are thinking of Zeke, aren’t you?
BUNNY
Yep, but how about you?
RALPHIE
(gets closer after overhearing the end of the conversation)
Ya, yeh. How about you and I?
MAGGIE
That is the biggest problem facing us. You,
Ralphie. But I still sort of like you despite
your many faults and silliness.
RALPHIE
I dig it. I dig you.
Let’s go digging together, tonight.

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MAGGIE
That is cool as long as we don’t end up in that
cemetery again.
Bunny, Bunny, honey, you go out. Give Zeke a call
now. I am sure he is waiting for you
breathlessly.
(laughter and giggles)
BUNNY
And you think the Man will approve of Zeke.
(more giggling)
MAGGIE
You know the Man always wanted to see you and
Zeke that way.
74 FADE OUT – Maggie and Ralphie leave arm in arm.
75 FADE IN – At the airport.
2013 - Return to the present (anticlimaxes)
EVE
How you think you are going to get through the
TSA checkpoint, Jacko?
JACKSON
It is easy, Eve.

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Just submit to it all, Eva.
I think one of us will get strip searched.
I wouldn’t mind it. I’d rather watch you.
EVE
Stop kidding around, Jacko. Get serious.
TSA INSPECTOR
Go ahead Miss. You move along out of here too,
Sir.
EVE
Whew, it is nice to get another break and a free
ride, Jacko. Jackson, I have been thinking. We
have been on a whirl-wheel-wind tour of the ages.
JACKSON
That is for sure. Eva, I am really ready for some
R and R – rest and relaxation.
EVE
Hasn’t these adventures taught us a lesson?
JACKSON
Ya, you are persistent.
You keep doing me like that!
Now what are you trying to say?
(as they are boarding the plane)
EVE

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I never want to see us end up in a graveyard like
those folks at Oak Hills.
JACKSON
You are right. That left an unforgettable
impression on me.
(the two of them go through the process of boarding the plane)
EVA
I now believe it is important to live the best we
can in the present.
The Man has paid for this trip and all and given
each one of us the chance to step away from
college for a week to kick back in the Caribbean.
(as the plane begins to move away
from the boarding gate, they kiss passionately)
JACKSON
Does that mean no more woofing?
(Eve nods yes)
Does that mean no more sniveling?
(Eve nods yes)
JACKSON
I am all in.
(they kiss again passionately)
JACKSON

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Time really flies when you are having fun.
76 FADE OUT – The plane is shown taking off into the setting
sun.
The End

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