Published

1. The Pandemic Has Taught Us That It’s OK to Not Be OK
Experts say this pandemic might finally change the mental health stigma.
By Hana Hong
May 19, 2020
They say admitting you need help is the first step toward recovery—but it's not an easy one to
take. Most people who live with mental illness will, at some point, be blamed for their condition.
Their symptoms referred to as “a phase” or something they can get over. They’re accused of
seeking attention. They’re illegally discriminated against when it comes to employment. This
phenomenon is referred to as the mental health stigma—and it’s a highly problematic one.
“Mental health stigma encompasses a lot of misunderstanding, but essentially it’s the persistent
perception that people with mental health disorders are strange, broken, different, or even
dangerous,” says Jennifer Dragonette, PsyD, executive director of Newport Institute. “This
stigma perpetuates the belief that individuals with mental health concerns should be minimized or
condemned, and results in fewer people seeking help when they need it.”
The Impact of Mental Health Stigma
According to a study in World Pshychiatry, the impact of stigma on people with mental illness is
twofold: "On one hand, they struggle with the symptoms and disabilities that result from the
disease. On the other, they are challenged by the stereotypes and prejudice that result from
misconceptions about mental illness. As a result of both, people with mental illness are robbed of
the opportunities that define a quality life: good jobs, safe housing, satisfactory health care, and
affiliation with a diverse group of people."
Most people wouldn't hesitate to properly treat diabetes, heart disease, or cancer, but many still
carry the painful belief that their depression, anxiety, or trauma is somehow less valid and
deserving of care. Physical health is prioritized for most people, so why isn’t mental health

2. treated the same way? Historically, mental health has always been viewed as secondary to
physical health, evidenced in cultural misrepresentations of people with mental health
concerns and disparity in treatment availability and funding compared to more traditional medical
healthcare.
According to Perri Shaw Borish, MSS, founder of Whole Heart Maternal Mental Health, the
problem is that too many people view those who go to therapy as weak. “Unless you grow up in a
family culture where therapy is respected as a part of one's social and emotional learning, being in
therapy is stigmatized as well,” says Borish. “Usually, by the time someone ends up on my couch,
they’ve exhausted many other possibilities before giving themselves permission to be in therapy.
The stigma itself is a deterrent to getting treatment—simply pushing through the shame and
judgment to get there is a tremendous feat.”
It’s hard to pinpoint why exactly we’ve all been conditioned to think this way. Experts say that it
comes from the idea that others’ feelings are more important than our own, and that there's shame
in airing dirty laundry. They don’t want to be judged, especially by family members and friends,
who might look down on them for their “faults.” We're pushed to hide our defects under the guise
of respectability.
Media further enforces pressure on families to hide their flaws. Popular sitcoms, like I Love
Lucy and Leave it to Beaver, promoted the idea that being successful meant being the “perfect"
American family. Social media, a platform where everyone feels the need to present an idealized
version of themselves—lest someone think they are a failure—only drives the stigma home.
This perception has been embedded in our history spanning hundreds of years: “Countless
negative cultural references, dating back decades or even longer, link mentally ill individuals with
dangerous behavior and inability to fit in with society. Out of fear and a lack of understanding,
people with mental health issues were sent to live in asylums or hospitals for behaving differently
or saying things out of the ordinary. They were punished and traumatized, and it was easy to view
them as deserving of their suffering,” says Dragonette.
Unfortunately, it usually takes a tragedy to change people’s minds, says Anita Kanti, author
of Behaving Bravely: How to Mindshift Life's Challenges. “Take the recent suicides of Kate

3. Spade, Robin Williams, and Anthony Bourdain, for instance. Showing the world that even rich
celebrities who seem to have it all on paper were actually hurting woke people up to the
widespread nature of our mental health problem.”
Coronavirus and Collective Trauma
The global pandemic, one of the world's most tragic events to date, has put us in a very unique
position. For the first time in a long time, everyone is in the same boat. Several months into
quarantine, we’re seeing the conversation behind mental health finally start to open up. People are
posting publicly on social media about their increased feelings of stress, anxiety, and loneliness.
When people call in to ask how you are, the answer is no longer a default “fine, and you?” People
are starting to open up to the fact that they’re not doing OK, and that it’s totally fine—normal
even—to feel the way they’re feeling.
According to Borish, this is called collective trauma. And this “collectivism” of the trauma helps
to de-stigmatize mental health issues.
“With such large numbers of people currently experiencing these struggles, one silver lining of
the pandemic could be increased understanding and compassion for mental health issues and
therefore a reduction of long-held stigmas. We are now seeing more prominent figures
acknowledging their own mental health struggles, which can help reduce shame and judgment,”
says Dragonette.
Prioritizing Mental Health
As we navigate the COVID-19 pandemic, we are all struggling with similar problems and fears,
whether that means being anxious about the future, depressed about what we’re missing, worried
about our economic outlook, or overwhelmed with various feelings of fear and panic. “It is
therefore vital for us to continue creating space for one another, opening up dialogues about

4. mental health, and raising awareness. We need to continue encouraging people to seek help when
they need it, while also sharing coping strategies and prevention techniques.”
“It begins with self-awareness. For too long, most of us have rushed through our lives. COVID-
19 disrupted that. Once we accept this situation bravely, we can begin to change it. Hopefully,
this crisis will actually lead to some good. We will begin acknowledging how widespread mental
health problems really are and how we can begin to heal,” adds Kanti.
So how can you work on prioritizing your mental health now? First, feel your feelings. Know that
what you are feeling is totally OK. And understand that putting yourself first and taking the time
to care for your mental wellness isn’t selfish, but essential to your well-being.
“Remember to check in with yourself throughout the day and empower yourself to take a break
when you need it," says Dragonette. "Also, please go easy on yourself if you don’t do this
perfectly. Many mental health problems are compounded by our own refusal to acknowledge
what we are feeling. If you’re having a particularly hard day, it can feel like the hardest thing in
the world to reach out to another human and yet that is often the connection we need the most. Be
vulnerable when you can with safe people. Acknowledge that you are experiencing a trauma and
try not to compare your experiences with that of others. And please remember that mental health
providers are essential workers and are here to help you right now if you need extra support."
If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that we need to change this stigmatized situation fast.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Fortunately, more people are starting to understand
that mental health exists on a spectrum, and that we all struggle with mental health on some level
in our lifetime. Most people can understand the experience of feeling depressed or anxious,
whether or not they acknowledge this out loud.
“We are all experiencing a widespread traumatic event, and we are also experiencing the normal
repercussions of trauma,” says Dragonette. “If we can express compassion for ourselves and
others around this shared experience, it will go a long way to squashing the mental health stigma
in the future.