1. NANNIE NARCONE
EYERSONIAN
TheEyersonianrecentlyobtained
a press release indicating that an
event occurred on June 2016, in
the Rogers Communications Cen-
tre(RCC).
The event, held by the Ryerson
journalism department, in partner-
ship with the Digital Media Zone
(DMZ) was called How to Be a Busi-
nessJournalist,wherepanelistscov-
ered topics like innovative journal-
ism, how to present yourself as an
innovativebrand,andtheemerging
importanceofhyperlinksinastory.
“It’s all about the clicks,” said
Joseph Toeseph, a print journal-
ist. “I like to add as many links
on a page as possible—otherwise
how will people find the rest of the
storyonline?”
Toeseph also made an “inter-
net correspondent over quality
content” joke and admitted that if
it really came down to it, he would
advisemakingeverywordahyper-
link and sacrificing real content for
“thegreatergood.”
Representatives from stu-
dent-based university publications
chimed in, adding that although
statistically, polls have determined
that readers prefer interesting
and attention-grabbing headlines,
that they even more prefer to use a
It really happened. Actually. For real.
EYERSONIANFILEPHOTO|EYERSONIAN
Event occurred on campus
direct approach: a mundane head-
line and briefly glossing over any
actualnews.
“There’snotenoughimagination
with kids these days,” said Ryerson
journalismdepartmentheadMarty
Stevenson.“Thegoalhereistocreate
a generation that really knows how
tothinkforthemselves.”
According to the press release
and a reporter from The Eyersonian
who was present at the time, eager
Ryerson journalism students gath-
ered in the Venn last year to partic-
ipate in various generic games per-
tainingtoinnovativejournalism.
The games included PR-PR-jour-
nalist, a similar game to duck-duck-
goose, but with public relations fig-
ures and journalists. The group also
engagedinagameof “findthehyper-
link in a haystack”—a game where
students dive face first into a pile
of hay, situated in the middle of the
Venn, whilst blindfolded, and find
the print pages with hyperlinks
onthem.
The group gathered in the empty
room, minus the hay, with a bunch
of chairs and a bunch of tables.
The room was similar to how
the Venn looks now, only dif-
ferent because this was 2016
and things change in a year.
Please see NEWS page 4
Editorial:
Ryerson hates tall people
page 9
Millenials are purging
page 3
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2017
yersonianE As parodied by The Eyeopener
What’s online
Go to eyersonian.ca to see
behind-the-scenes of a typical
day in our newsroom
Listen
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Volume 51
Issue 5
eyersonian.ca
2. 2 Wednesday, October 4, 2017 yersonianE
Rotating craft
beers at the Ram
All Day,
Every Day
Come see what we’re pouring
Amsterdam
CollingWood Brewery
Beau’s
Great Lakes Brewery
Spearhead Brewery
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And More to come
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3. yersonianE
News
3
Voluntourism
changes lives
page 11
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Millenials are purging
Our generation bad for racist statue industry, Shi Nou reports
PREMILAD’SA|EYERSONIAN
Inaudible screams were all that
could be heard outside Kerr Hall
as the Egerton Ryerson statue was
decapitated on Monday. While
it was not the first time a statue
honouring a racist met its
untimely demise at the hands of
angered youth, it was certainly a
first for Ryerson University.
In July, a beheaded Donald
Drumpf statue in Dallas, Texas left
locals similarly shocked. In August,
a statue of John C. Calhoun, a strong
defender of slavery in America,
was also beheaded in Charleston,
South Carolina.
And with the likes of Rob-
ert E. Lee, Edward Cornwal-
lis and Roger B. Taney down for
the count, one thing is certain:
it’s been a very bad, bad year for
racist statues.
Who’s to blame for the increas-
ingly prevalent deaths of history’s
most successful racists? A recent
studyconductedbyfor-profitorgani-
zationBabyBoominRacistshasfound
thatthesalesofcompanieswhomake
racist statues are plummeting now
more than ever. Their reasoning?
Millennials.
The study also found that rac-
ist statue sales in Canada have
decreased by a whopping 11,000
per cent since the 11th century.
As a result, companies like The
Past is a Blast, who designed and
manufactured the Egerton Ryerson
statue,havesincehadtoletgoofsome
of their more ‘deplorable’ employees
and schedule equity training
sessions for their remaining
employees. The company’s two
remaining employees went through
one equity training session in
August, which the CEO of the com-
pany has called “abominable.”
“Those dang millenials, always
ruining everything. It really frea-
kin’ sucks. My ancestors have
been selling racist statues since
the year 1134, when they first
designed and manufactured the
Rudolph Zitler statue. Now, we see
hooligans running around spray
painting the beautiful works of
art that my ancestors created,
writing crazy mazy horse shit like
‘Being racist ain’t lit’. And for what?
‘Political correctness,’” said Suprema
Cistman, the CEO of The Past is
a Blast.
BabyBoominRacists’ study also
analyzed the demographics of
people who support or do not
support the presence of racist
statues across the country.
Their study found that for peo-
ple between the ages 0-25, 70 per
cent were against the presence of
racist statues in Canada, 20 per cent
abstaineddueto“hipstercauses”and
10 per cent of people claiming to be
“born in the wrong century” sup-
ported the presence of racist statues
in Canada.
“Millennials are really making
a trend of edginess nowadays. It’s
a shame that they hate racist stat-
ues.JustimagineWolfgangDroege–
white supremacist, neo-Nazi,
convicted drug dealer and found-
ing leader of the Heritage Front–in
front of Parliament Hill. He would
just look so good in white marble,”
BabyBoominRacist’s commu-
nity outreach coordinator, Gracist
Shaymus said, licking his lips.
On the other hand, they found
that 95 per cent of people between
the ages 26-100 supported racist
statues,2percentabstainedand3per
centwhoweregigglingabouthowthe
‘80s were a simpler time, circled ‘do
notsupport’forthepresenceofracist
statues in Canada in the survey.
In an interview, Cistman told the
Eyersonian that The Past is a Blast
has been struggling to make ends
meet, and millennials openly sham-
ingthecompanyonsocialmediaisn’t
helping.
Last week, a Ryerson student
madeaFacebookpagetitled“NoRac-
ist Statues In Our City!”, calling the
company “bogus, absurd and totally
backwards.”
“It’s just sad that these millenni-
als are trying to spread their anti-
racist dogma. The alt-right need to
make money too, you know.” said
Cistman, who openly admited that
sometimes, racists have feelings too.
sk8ergurl4321@hotmail.com
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4. RSU full of
great people
Model citizens all around
ALANNARIZZA,SARAHKRICHEL|EYERSONIAN
PENELOPE LATTE
EYERSONIAN
The Ryerson Students’ Union’s
(RSU)approval rating has skyrock-
etedoverthepasttwoyearsaftera
drasticdecreaseincorruption,dou-
ble-crossing and throwing people
under the bus.
According to an Ipsos poll, the
RSU is currently at a 90 per cent
approvalrating—thehighestit’sever
been.Thesurveyalsonotedthatthe
union was doing exceptionally well
withtransparency,allocatingfunds
to in-need departments and allow-
ing marginalized people on the
boardtospeakatmeetings.
“Student politics in the past
two years has been pretty chill.
There hasn’t been any drama or
tension and everybody loves each
other,” said RSU general manager
SidNaidu.
“Italmostremindsmeofmytime
instudentpoliticshereatRyerson—
just so much love.”
The hundreds of Ryerson stu-
dents invested in student politics
assumed things would get heated
because of the split slate on the
executive team (and because of
lastyear’scontroversial6Festcon-
cert, this year’s Colonialism 150
campaign and ongoing tension
regarding the Canadian Federa-
tion of Students—the national stu-
dent advocacy group to which the
RSU pays $500,000 for an annual
membership).
“We’re just one big happy fam-
ily,” said RSU president Susanne
Nyaga. “Board meetings are a
breeze.We’reallonthesamepage.”
Students said they’re especially
pleased with how the RSU regu-
larly alerts students about their
monthly board meetings and
News4 Wednesday, October 4, 2017 yersonianE
EVENT cont’d...
Toeseph kicked off the event
with a PowerPoint of hyperlinks,
and a question for the room—“Is
Etobicoke considered the down-
town core?” he asked, with genu-
ine curiosity.
GennyFadam,athird-yearjour-
nalism student at the time, now in
herfourthyear—saidtheeventwas
lifechanging,andthattheinforma-
tion she retained that day has still
stuck with her one year later.
“My favourite part was playing
board games,” said Fadam. “I’m not
surewhattheyhadtowithinnova-
tive journalism—I can’t remember,
but bridge and bocce are my new
favourite games.”
The event wrapped up with a
talk led by Toeseph, who stressed
theimportanceofbuildingpositive
relationshipsinjournalism,adding
thatrivalingpublicationsshouldbe
kind to one another.
TheEyersonianspoketoToeseph
ayearlater,whohassinceresigned
from his job as a print journalist.
“The panel was a year ago,” he
said. “I’m not sure why you’re ask-
ing me these questions now.”
Since his resignation just four
days following the panel, Toeseph
found work in a PR firm called
Timeliness, a job he admits he loves.
The second annual How to Be
a Journalist panel happened three
monthsagointheVenn,according
to a press release obtained over the
summer.
More to come.
angelrockpunkrock@hotmail.com
how the minutes are immediately
uploaded to their website.
“My favourite part about RSU
meetings is how the board follows
Robert’s Rules and their bylaws
perfectly,” said engineering stu-
dent Satthew Mith. “I also noticed
that no one has been meeting in
the sketchy alleyway behind
the Student Campus Centre in a
while.”
Even Ryerson president
Mohamed Lachemi commented
on how he is surprised that the
universityhasn’treceivedanyneg-
ative media attention in months
due to RSU activities.
“I haven’t had to meet with any
student leaders to give them warn-
ings—ahherm,wait—theUniversity
isentirelyseparatefromthestudent
union.Ihavenofurthercomment.I
LIKE TO BUILD THINGS, I DON’T
LIKE TO DESTROY THINGS,”
LachemisaidtoTheEyersonian.
But some past RSU execu-
tives aren’t surprised at the high
approval rating.
“My time in office was easy-
peasy.Itrustedtheboardandthose
outside of the board with my life,”
said last year’s president and cur-
rent board member Obaid Ullah. “I
also love campus media.”
Last year’s vice-president stu-
dent life & events Harman Singh
thinks his transparency was a
key factor in the soaring approval
rating.
“Yeah,everytimeIsaidI’dfinish
the 6 Fest report and give out con-
cert refunds, people were just like
‘ya Drake!’” said Singh in a private
Facebook message.
Only time will tell with how the
ratings will hold up for the rest of
the school year.
2kool4u@msn.ca
DEADLINE to OPT-OUT, OPT-IN or ADD DEPENDENTS:
There are ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS to this deadline
Need Info? Contact Member Services Office, Student Centre Lobby
or email health@rsuonline.ca
ALL STUDENTS MUST
OPT-OUT ONLINE
ATTENTION ALL FULL-TIME STUDENTS
Time is running out!
FRIDAY, OCT 6, 2017 - 6pm
The Ryerson Students’ Union
(RSU) provides you extended
Health & Dental Insurance, but
if you have comparable
coverage, OPT-OUT for a refund
by October 6, 2017 @ 6pm.
Did you opt out last year in 2016-17? No worries...
You’re automatically opted out - no need to apply every year for the refund of this fee
Opted Out PREVIOUSLY
If you opted out of the RSU health and dental
plan in the previous year (2016-17), you will
NOT receive a charge for the RSU health and
dental plan on your RAMSS account. Please
refer to information on "Changing Your Status"
for any opt-in requirements at
rsuonline.ca/services.
OPT-OUT ONLINE
www.rsuonline.ca/services or
www.mystudentplan.ca/rsu
5. yersonianE
Arts & Life
5
Judging people
judging art
eyersonian.ca
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Art gallery
now closedYeah, you missed it
CAMILAKUKULSKI|EYERSONIAN
SKYLER ASH
EYERSONIAN
Ryerson University fash-
ion alumni Yolanda Hooganza
was featured in a gallery in June
2017 at the Ryerson Image Cen-
tre (RIC) featuring work she’d done
in Paris as well as original sketches
and watercolours. Her work was
inspiredbyhertorridloveaffairwith
anoldermanwhoatelotsofbaguettes
but didn’t do much else.
“I don’t really understand why
we’re talking about this now,” said
Hooganza, who graduated from
Rye High in 2004. “That was a few
monthsago,andthegalleryisclosed.”
Hooganzaiscorrect:thisisindeed
very old news, as the gallery closed
on June 23, and will never return to
Canada ever again. Like, ever. The
gallery was slated to run for two
weeks, but it was seeing such high
attendance that it ran for an extra
week.Arecord900guestswereactu-
allyabletoattend—butyouprobably
weren’t one of them.
At the gallery’s closing, attend-
ees were asked to gather in a cir-
cle on the edge of Lake Devo, where
Hooganza burned all her work in a
heap to “free herself from the emo-
tions.” After performing a tantric
dance and screaming so loudly only
local dogs could hear her, she bowed
andfledthescene.Guestscried.Emo-
tions were high. Well, that’s our best
guess—we did not actually send a
reporter to the event.
Inadditiontothearson,therewas
a strict no-photography policy set
for the gallery, so there are no pho-
tos to be shown. Guests were also
requiredtosignareleasesayingthey
wouldnotdescribethework,nordis-
cusshowitmadethemfeel.You’lllit-
erally never see or hear about this
stuff, ever.
Peter Irgen, a first-year civil engi-
neering student, who had not yet
begun attending Ryerson when the
gallery was running, was not in
attendance. “Yeah, I didn’t go here
then, so, like, I didn’t go,” he said.
Despite the strict rules around
the gallery, The Eyersonian managed
toobtainaninterviewwithsomeone
who saw Hooganza’s work.
“I was there, yes,” said Leeroy
LeRoy, a man who happened to be
passing through campus at the time.
“Well, I can’t really say anything, of
course.Sorry.”Butthelookinhiseyes
saiditall.Therewasatelltaletwinkle,
a spark of curiosity, hope, love, loss.
We really missed out on some-
thing big, folks. But hey, maybe next
time!
dolphin-love300@hotmail.com
Hi, I’m sort of vegan
SARAH KRICHEL
EYERSONIAN
Followingaspecialinvestigation,
The Eyersonian has confirmed that
a local Ryerson vegan is no longer
actually 100 per cent vegan—add-
ingtotheinfluxofthesort-of-vegan
populaceoncampus.
“Hi, I’m vegan,” Karah Sichel,
a third-year journalism student
first said when asked what pushed
her over the edge. “I like cheese
too much. It was also just too much
effort to look at ingredients every
timeIwantedabagofchips.I’mlike,
68 per cent vegan as of right now,
though.”
Sichel,rumouredtobepartofthe
notorious“‘90sCrew,”saidthatwhile
she had a good vegan run of eight
months,itendedupbeing“justalot.”
The “‘90s crew” is a taboo gang
that aims to infiltrate vegan circles
and has been rumoured to oper-
ate within Gould Street’s sewage
system and campus kitchens. Past
charges against members include
slippingdairyproductsintovegan-
labelled menu items. Some target-
ted vegans have even said they’ve
found pork chops hanging out of
their chopped kale power salads.
Sichel is now just another clas-
sic case in the rise of the not-tech-
nically-vegan-vegan movement—
an ideology pertaining to the act
of acting vegan, without actu-
ally being vegan. The movement
is present in a Ryerson-only Face-
book group called Hi I’m Vegan.
According to the self-proclaimed
activist group, their mandate was
set to protect not-really-vegan-
vegans’ rights to pretend to be
woke,whilesimultaneouslysham-
ing vegetarians for not cutting out
animal byproducts.
“After a while, saying ‘no dairy,
though’ at Burrito Boyz whenever
I got my classic sweet potato-veg-
gie soy mix just became too much,”
fourth-year gender studies stu-
dent Berena Srizzi said. “But like,
I’ll still say I’m vegan to my friends.
It inspires them when I talk about
how much animal cruelty goes
into their pumpkin spiced lattes,
and they don’t even know I proba-
bly used regular milk in mine too.”
For sort-of-not-really-vegan-
vegans like Srizzi and Sichel, Hi I’m
Vegan gives them a place to show
off that at least they sort of tried,
unlike you.
The group started with two
members back in January, and
now has six members, only nine
months later.
“Hi, I’m vegan,” Ennie Ernona
said to The Eyersonian in an inter-
view. “After I went to Sushi Style
one day and realized there was
probably egg in the sweet potato
tempura, I purposely didn’t bother
toaskthewaiter,sothatIcouldpro-
ceed to order it everyday. That was
the moment I realized a group like
thiswasneeded.”
Sichel said she hopes to even-
tually include shrimp in her
still-but-not-really-vegan-vegan
lifestyle.
silly_sarah7@hotmail.com
lifestyle.
silly_sarah7@hotmail.com
Drop in for a free light brunch
with President Mohamed Lachemi
from 10 a.m. – 12 p.m.
Please email presrsvp@ryerson.ca if we need to make any accessibility
or dietary accommodations to ensure your inclusion in this event.
Thanksgiving Brunch with
President Lachemi
Mohamed Lachemi, President and
Vice-Chancellor invites Ryerson students
for a Thanksgiving brunch at the Ryerson
Student Learning Centre, Amphitheatre
on Friday, October 6, 2017.
6. 6
yersE
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
“Features”
Trending: Pumpkin spice
and everything nice
Falling for fall at Ryerson University!
Fellow Ryersonians, the new season
is upon us! The air is crisp, the leaves
are changing and pumpkin spice is
back and better than ever! In honour
of this glorious time of year, we
thought we’d throw together a spicy
photo spread to celebrate the arrival of
autumn on campus.
What a time to be alive!!!
7. 7
More pictures online
on the Internet
eyersonian.ca
sonian
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
“Features”
ALLPHOTOSBYCARLSOLIS|EYERSONIAN
8. Sports8 Wednesday, October 4, 2017 yersonianE
Why Eggy the Ram is sick of your shit
PREMILA D’SA|EYERSONIAN
RÉAL NUMBERS
EYERSONIAN
Ryerson’s three-person arith-
metic team is struggling to deal
with the aftermath of a significant
subtraction.
On Tuesday, an investigation
by the mathematics department
revealed one mathlete was ineligi-
bletoparticipateduetoafailedbeep
test,amongotherinfractions.
“Itisuniversitypolicyforallmem-
bersofacademicteamstomaintaina
level of recreational and abdominal
fortitude,”saidathleticdirectorIvan
Joseph,whoservesasheadcoachof
theQuad-Ram-TicEquations.
“At the end of the day, this was
my miscalculation. The mathlete’s
recordsjustdidn’taddup.”
Beforemathletescanparticipate
in inter-university play in Ontario,
they must officially register for at
leastoneintramuralorvarsityteam
and reach 80 reps in the dreaded
beeptest.
Oneofthethreeplayersfailedto
A critical equation
IZABELLA BALCERZAK
EYERSONIAN
On any team, unsung heroes
aren’t valued as much as they
should be. At Ryerson University,
our unsung hero comes in a differ-
entshape.
After decades of running, high-
fiving and shaking student’s dirty
hands, Eggy’s PR representative,
Peggy Waters, issued a statement
announcinghisresignation.
“OurbelovedEggy,”shebegan,“Is
sick of your shit.” He’s still demand-
ingroyaltiesfromtheThrillerMusic
video he made with the Ryerson
Dance Pak. It’s garnered over 7,000
viewsonYouTubesince2013.
This statement came hours
after Eggy made a drastic exit dur-
ing a basketball game versus the
University of Toronto. Their mas-
cot—a beaver named True Blue—
apparently stole the show with his
updated uniform and new dance
moves.
Shortly after, Eggy was spotted
running into Loblaws and steal-
ing a jar of Nutella at their famous
andoverlypricedNutellacafe.With
Nutella smeared along his face, he
ran down Church street, trampling
pedestrians,makingrough,bleating
noisesashewent.
This freakout comes with a his-
toryofdisappointingappearances.
Recently,Eggywasinvitedtothe
Invictus Flag bearing ceremony at
the MAC. When he showed up, it
wasn’tquitewhatheexpected.
Itwasaphoto-opwiththeirmas-
cot.Eggywasn’tpleased.
“Sure, I’ll be in photos. I look
great on camera. But don’t ask me
to carry a mascot in my arms like
we just got hitched,” said Eggy,
whoadmitsthatsometimes,hejust
wants to be held too.
The photographer also asked the
mascots to run in slow motion and
then high five each other. Their PR
representativeskeptyelling,“Lookat
theelbow!”ateveryfailedattempt.
Eggy’s Twitter account is full of
his rants, with the most recent one
beingthechangeintheweather.He
says his shorts are too short for the
suddendropsintemperature.
WhileRyersonAthleticsmourns
the loss of a timeless mascot, they
haveannouncedthattheywillcon-
tinuetolookforanother.
iza_bella_forever@hotmail.com
accomplish one of those tasks, and
forprivacyreasons,Josephwouldn’t
identifythesuspendedmathlete.
“My lips are sealed,” Joseph said,
applyingathickstripofblueandgold
duct tape over his lips before shut-
ting his office door. No members of
theteamwouldspillthebeanseither.
“I’mnottelling,”saidteamcaptain
JoshHingles.
“Youguysaregoingtohavetodo
a little bit of digging,” added Ursula
Levinson, standing in front of the
recently emptied locker of Wesley
Peckinpah, the team’s rookie sensa-
tionfromWyoming.
In an email sent Wednesday
afternoon, Joseph wrote the sus-
pended player will enrol in algo-
rhythmicgymnasticsnextsemester
to satisfy his athletic requirements
aheadofnextseason.
“This young man has been
throughalot,butIabsolutelywillnot
identify him,” Joseph added. “Wes-
ley’sagoodkid,butIamnotgoingto
tellyouwhoheis.Noway,nohow.”
sportsboy95@hotmail.comsportsboy95@hotmail.com
9. yersonianE
Editorial
9
Read more about
tall people online
eyersonian.ca
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
EDITORIAL
TALL MCTALLINGTON
FORMEREYERSONIAN
Amidst strikes and labour
disputes in the Toronto post-
secondary sphere, there is one
problem that stands out on home
soil. It reaches past such feeble
foibles as evergrowing fears of
youth unemployment, or soaring
costs of education.
Ryerson is simply not built to
accommodate Tall people.
From dangerously low door-
frames to unexpected sharp
things below our line of sight,
the hallowed halls of Ryerson
University are a walking
landmine if your head sits above
six feet.
It’s not an overt kind of danger.
The fine men and women of this
campus do not routinely injure
themselves if they too struggle
with Tall People Problems. But
the little inconveniences add
up over the course of a four-
year degree.
There’s the brand new pants,
shredded by an outlying piece
of metal on a desk in a sec-
ond-year lecture. The bruises
from rails, rocks and roofs—the
former placed too low to see,
the latter hung too low for easy
clearance.
Bus seats are often unbearable.
With barely an inch of legroom
on many of the TTC’s ridiculous,
spatially efficient vehicles, even
sitting is sometimes a struggle.
The fact is, the passive risks of
being an unnaturally tall person
at this institution, like so many
public places around the country,
often outweigh the advantages
of being able to reach the top
shelves.
And let’s talk about top shelves.
If you’re going to build a society
that challenges the vertically
inclined at every turn, at least give
us some more outrageously high
surfaces where we can put our
things. It helps us feel superior.
The infrequency with which
we are able to flaunt our height
while on school property is
simply criminal.
Now, we understand that you
think our complaints are petty.
That in a world full of racism and
violence, the plight of the
unfortunately enormous should
SARAHKRICHEL|EYERSONIAN
be overlooked, or decide
that it is not in fact, really a
plight at all.
But until you’ve experienced
the daily struggle of The Tall, until
you’ve had children grab your legs
because they think you’re a tree,
untilyou’vebeenaskedeverytime
you leave the house whether you
play basketball, you do not know
their pain.
It’s time this school and this
administration look past such
passé problems as tuition hikes,
preparingusfortherealworldand
struggling to find campus space.
It’s time to consider the real trou-
bles in this land—the troubles of
The Tall.
@SeanLovesFries
10. Contact Us
Since this paper isn’t real, you
probably don’t have much you
want to share about it. But in case
you do, you can always come visit
The Eyeopener to hang out. If you
think this was funny, you coud
also write for the Fun and Satire
section on the regular.
Ryerson University
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Toronto, Ontario M5B 1E9
Newsroom: 416-979-5262
ext. 2338
email: editor@theeyersonian.ca
www.eyersonian.ca
@TheEyersonian
TheEyersonian
@theeyersonian
The Eyersonian
yersonianE Campus Connection
10 Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Full story at eyersonian.ca
SARAHKRICHEL|EYERSONIAN
Rats back on campus
RyersonUniversity’scampushasseenaninflux*(*bigwordfor‘more’)
of rats on campus this year than ever before. In fact, there are 30 per
centmoreratshangingaroundthanlastyear.Iknowthisbecauselast
year I saw no rats and this year I saw 30 rats. So that’s a 30 per cent
increase. That’s how math works, right?
Anyway, The Eyersonian has obtained exclusive video
interviews with the three rats who seem to spend most of their time
bythetrashcansoutsidetheStudentCampusCentre.Thevideodetails
the rats’ daily lives over the course of three hours, because it was a lit-
tle hot out that day and we didn’t feel like filming the rats anymore.
Plus, one got really close to me and I screamed.
If you’d like to view the full video, you can type this link out online
athttps://theeyersonian.com/rats-on-campus-one-touched-my-leg-and-i-
screamed-you-guys-it-was-really-scary-please-stop-laughing-!-rats-carry-
diseases-!-!-!_fAk3n3wZ
Campus Comments
One Of These Leaders Is
Not Like The Others
‘‘
’’
“I like to build things.”
-Mohamed Lachemi
“Let’s plant flowers.”
“Thisseemslikeagoodidea.”
-Sheldon Levy
-Every RSU
executive when
proposing a bad
idea
Events
Oct. 3:
It’s October 3rd:
International Mean
Girls Holiday
12:01 a.m. - 11:59 p.m.
literally everywhere
Oct. 4:
Do The Jingle
Bell Rock Because
Yesterday Was
October 3rd
10:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.
55 Gould Street
Oct. 5:
Naruto Run Away
From All Your
Problems But Then
Come Back Because
Classes Start at 11
10:00 a.m. - 10:30 a.m.
55 Gould Street
Oct. 8:
National
Underwater Basket
Weaving Day
All day
Podium 250
Dec. 25:
Christmas Day
All day
Most places
Parody Manading Editors
Emerald Bensadoun
Skyler Ash
Parody Writers
Annie Arnone
Penelope Latte
Bo Jackman
Izabella Balcerzak
Réal Numbers
Skyler Ash
Sarah Krichel
Editor-in-Chief
Sierra Bein
News
Noushin Ziafati
Jacob Dubé
Annie Arnone
Photo
Sarah Krichel
Premila D’sa
Camila Kukulski
Online
Karoun Chahinian
Alanna Rizza
Lee Richardson
Features
Skyler Ash
Sports
Bryan Meler
Ben Waldman
Biz and Tech
Sylvia Lorico
Arts and Life
Izabella Balcerzak
Communities
Nicole Brumley
Fun and Satire
Emerald Bensadoun
Media
Carl Solis
Malachi Rowswell
General Manager
Liane McLarty
Design Director
J.D. Mowat
Advertising Manager
Chris Roberts
Interns
Peter White
Rameez Hameed
Kintaro Skinner
PetsInDanger
Ryerson Student Club
- Attend
exciting social events,
develop skills trans-
ferable into further
education / job
searching, enhance
your resume,
receive a
Certificate for
community service
hours...
all for a great cause:
to combat pet over-
population and help
save the lives of
4.5 million dogs and
cats each year.
https://
ca.petsindanger.com/
studentclubs
11. yersonianE
Voices
11
Read more about
white people online
eyersonian.ca
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
My life-changing trip
How I found myself through voluntourism
BO JACKMAN
EYERSONIAN
The first house was the hardest
tobuild.Standingwiththerestofmy
friends,welookeddownatthishole
intheground.“Thiswillbethefoun-
dation for what you will build,” our
guide,Thomas,toldusashedirected
us towards the concrete. We pulled
upoursleevesandgottowork.
Weeksbefore,agroupofmywok-
est peers and I were watching the
news when we discovered that the
world has some serious problems.
We all came together, guilted our
parents into giving us $3,000 each,
made a bunch of T-shirts that read
“Let’ssavetheplanet!”andsetoutto
the last Third World country that
we saw in a commercial. The work
that we did for the children there—
especiallythatall-inclusivevacation
resortwewenttoafterwards—really
helpedmefindmyselfasaperson.
For years, students have been
heading over to Third World coun-
tries for some good old-fashioned
volunteering.Accordingtothepop-
ular voluntourism website You’re a
Good Person, 10,000 students trav-
eledacrosstheworldtoparticipatein
humanitarianprojectsin2017alone.
Volunteers can deliver clean water,
dig outhouses and pull their friends
outwhentheydigtoodeep.
“It’s what I was born to do,” said
Becky Whitman, a 21-year-old
volunteer veteran on my trip.
“There’snothingthathelpsaperson
find who they really are more than
being around people born in a dif-
ferentsocioeconomicclass,andthen
immediately leaving.” Whitman is
planning her fourth mission once
herparentspawnofftheirwedding
ringstopaythetravelcosts.
Backatthesite,agrueling45min-
utesofhardlabourwentbybeforeour
supervisor stopped us for a humble
lunchofbeetburgersandkettlechips.
Behindus,ourguideandtherest
ofthelocalstookourlunchbreakas
anopportunitytofixourcrumbling
foundation as well as the crooked
walls we put up for this library. I
wonder if it had something to do
with putting untrained teenagers
in charge of construction instead of
payingtrainedlocalprofessionals.
Thatwasourfirst,andlast,dayin
the village. I said goodbye to all the
children,andtoldthemIhopedthey
liked the 10 per cent of a library we
madeforthem.
“Don’tworryaboutthem,another
group of midwestern teenagers are
coming in 20 minutes to pick up
where you left off,” Thomas said.
And just like that, we were back on
ourstretchHummer.
I’d like to say that I learned a lot
about myself during that day, but I
reallyfoundmyselfduringtheweek
wespentatthelocalall-you-can-eat,
all-inclusive resort we stayed at for
therestofourvacation.Whilewait-
inginlineforthebadmintoncourt,I
learned that patience is everything.
I had to spend the day by the pool,
crafting the perfect Facebook post
about how much work I’d done and
how much it humbled me; It’s going
togetsomanylikes.
But when I got home, I couldn’t
bear to be around my classmates.
As I saw them helping the elderly
cross the street and donating their
kidneys to those in need, I felt pity
forthem.Theynevervolunteered.
During the first few days
after returning from my vol-
untourism trip, I experienced a
larger-than-life feeling of hav-
ing contributed more than those
around me because I made a
difference onaglobalscale.
I can’t shake the great feeling of
finallyhavingfoundmyself.Somy
advicetoallthosewhohaven’ttried
volunteering: do it. The buffets
are delicious.
doobsjr@hotmail.com
Ice Cream Special
$4.75 $8.99
Ice Cream and Fresh Fruits
361 YONGE ST. TORONTO
www.wandaswaffles.com
DISCOUNT
FOR
ALL STUDENTS
@
15%
12. Wednesday, October 4, 2017yersonianE 12
FOOD COURT SPECIALTY EATERIES
RESTAURANTS & SPORTS BAR
California Thai
Caribbean Queen
Curry&Co
Harvey’s
MII Sandwich
Opa! Souvlaki
Salad Days Now Open
Subway
Zeytouna
Baskin Robbins
Blaze Pizza
Chipotle
DAVIDsTEA
Real Fruit Bubble Tea
Starbucks
Tim Hortons
IN THE FOOD COURT
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