Overview

1. Effective / Active Listening
Lis-ten-ing n. the process of receiving,
constructing meaning from, and
responding to spoken and / or nonverbal
messages
© EDG 2010

2. Overview
I like to listen.
I have learned a great deal
from listening carefully. Definitions •
Barriers and Bad habits •
Most people never listen.
4 Key Steps •
Tips for Active listening Skills •
Ernest Hemingway
Methods to test understanding •
Summary •
© EDG 2010

3. Communication – Why we need to be better Listeners
• We listen at 125 - 250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm
• 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful
• 20% of the time, we remember what we hear
• More than 35% of businesses think listening is a top skill for success
• Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening
Mode of Formal Years Percentage of Time
Communication of Training Used
Writing 12 years 9%
Reading 6-8 years 16 %
Speaking 1-2 years 30%
Listening 0-few hours 45%
© EDG 2010

4. Definitions
• Effective Listening is listening to
the words of the speaker and the
meaning of the words.
• Active Listening - the listener
takes active responsibility to
understand the content and
feeling of what is being said and
then checks with the speaker to
see if he/she heard and
understood what the speaker
intended to communicate.
“If I listen, I have the advantage;
if I speak, others have it.”
Arabic Proverb
© EDG 2010

5. Barriers and bad habits to Effective/Active Listening
• Physical Barriers
• Not being able to hear (or see) the
• Distractions / Triggers speaker
• Access to Speaker – Remote
Location
• Language or cultural differences
• Other People – speaking, questions,
• Mental Barriers
• Bad habits
© EDG 2010

6. Barriers and bad habits to Effective/Active Listening
• Physical Barriers
• Distractions / Triggers
• Electronic - phones, Blackberry,
computers, TV, Radio, Music
• Human – other people’s body language,
• Mental Barriers
conversations, questions, arrivals,
departures, etc
• Physical – noise, environmental
• Bad habits incidents
© EDG 2010

7. Barriers and bad habits to Effective/Active Listening
• Assumptions - about the speaker,
• Physical Barriers subject, debate
• Personal Bias / Issues
• Emotions – strong positive (enthusiasm,
sympathy, desire) or negative response
• Distractions / Triggers (frustration, irritation, anger, revulsion,
shame) to the topic, argument, speaker,
environment
• Critique – of delivery, content, speaker
• Mental Barriers
• Processing Information – not listening
• Mental Break – Daydreaming , focus on
• Bad habits
other issues
© EDG 2010

8. Barriers and bad habits to Effective/Active Listening
• Physical Barriers
• Lack of Interest
• Prejudice or Closed Mind
• Criticizing the subject or the speaker
• Distractions / Triggers • Listening only for facts
• Not taking notes
• Tolerating or creating distractions
• Letting emotional or Trigger words block
the message being given
• Mental Barriers
• Wasting time difference between speed
of speech and speed of thought
• Bad habits
© EDG 2010

9. 4 Key Steps in Effective/Active Listening
1. Intention: be ready and open to
Listen both verbally and visually
2. Focus on the Speaker and the
Discussion
3. Encourage the Speaker by using
Verbal and Visual Encouragers
4. Offer Feedback to clarify and
complete the Feedback Loop to
ensure accuracy of
understanding
© EDG 2010

10. Tips to develop your Active Listening Skills
• Focus on the person speaking instead of • Let the speaker’s argument or
your own reactions. conversation come to completion.
• Empathize with the Speaker – imagine • Remember only the person’s opinions
you are in their shoes delivering the and perceptions are the reality of any
speech trying to be heard discussion.
• Silently repeat to yourself what you hear • Use Visual Encouragers - Lean forward,
them saying (not aloud). or nod to offer encouragement and show
your interest, facial expressions to show
• Listen with all your senses (even your you are hearing. Smile, move an
gut!) eyebrow, look surprised or puzzled. You
have 15 muscles in your face for
• Be mindful of the points the Speaker and
expressions. Use them.
others are making, withhold judgment
and avoid making the speaker “right” or • Summarize what you hear.
“wrong”.
• Don’t look bored when someone else is.
• If you disagree with the speaker or even Tapping fingers, humming to music,
find it difficult to relate, try thinking of rolling eyes, fidgeting, are all nonverbal
some common interests, values or forms of communications.
reasons for the need to collaborate.
• Ask clarifying questions
• Get involved and engage in the
discussion.
• Respond to questions actively to show
your interest.
© EDG 2010

11. Methods to Improve Your Understanding
1. Listen
2. Questions
3. Reflect-Paraphrase
– Parroting
– Paraphrasing
– Clarifying
4. Agree
© EDG 2010

12. Methods to Improve Your Understanding
1. Listen
• To the Feelings behind the words as well as the
actual words
Words Emotions Implications
• Focus totally on the Speaker
Don’t get lost in your own thoughts
• Concentrate on what Is the Speaker talking
about?
Topic? Speaker? Listeners? Others?
• Look At Speaker
Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers
© EDG 2010

13. Methods to Improve Your Understanding
2. Questions
• 3 Reasons to Ask Questions
Demonstrates you are listening
Garner more information
Clarification
• Ask Open-ended Questions (5 W’s or H)
How did you feel / What did that mean to
you/ What do you see… ? (sensory )
Where will you…?
What will happen…?
© EDG 2010

14. Methods to Improve Your Understanding
3. Reflect-Paraphrase
– Parroting
– Paraphrasing
– Clarifying
• Reflect what has been said (by restating in your
own words)
• Acknowledge and Reflect Feelings displayed
• Reframe the sentiment or ideas or feelings
Capture the essence of the communication
Remove negative framing / positioning
Move toward problem solving or positive outlook
© EDG 2010

15. Methods to Improve Your Understanding
4. Agree
• Requires Closed (Yes/No) Questions
• Get Speaker’s Consent and then agreement to
your Understanding or Reframing of their
position
• Ask Speaker to acknowledge that they have
been heard by you
• Get Agreement on Understanding
© EDG 2010

16. Summary
Wisdom is the reward
you get for a lifetime of Definitions •
listening when you'd Barriers and Bad habits •
have preferred to talk. 4 Key Steps •
Tips for Active listening Skills •
~Doug Larson
Methods to test understanding •
Summary •
© EDG 2010